Unwanted Fate

by A. Gorman

  When I get inside to the security desk, I tell them what Kristin told me, and security gave me a visitor’s badge and told me which elevator to use. I walk to the elevator, my heels clicking as I walk across the vast lobby. The lobby decor is old fashion mining equipment and mining pictures, showing the history of the company. I would love to know the history behind everything down here.

  The elevator quickly arrives, once I’m in, I press the button for the eighteenth floor, and it slowly takes me up the eighteen flights. The doors open slowly and I get out, unsure in which direction to go. An older woman is walking toward me and I’ll ask her which direction I need to go.

  “Hi—”

  “Ms. Janes?”

  “Yes?”

  “Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Kristin, Patrick’s assistant.”

  “Oh, hi! Likewise. I was about to ask how to find you and here you are. Thank you so much.”

  “No problem.”

  “Is he out of his meeting?”

  “He is. I’m sure he will be glad to see you,” she says as we walk down the hallway.

  In the hallway hangs a picture similar to the ones downstairs showing a timeline of the comapany's accomplishments. The hallway opens up into an open area, beautifully decorated in gold and dark brown. There are pictures of several older gentlemen and then I see Patrick’s photo. They must be all of the CFOs of the company.

  “Let me make sure he’s not on the phone or anything.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  She walks over to her desk, picking up the phone and talks to him.

  “He’s available; let me open the door for you.”

  She walks over to the large wooden door, knocking, she opens the door, revealing Patrick holding a woman in his arms, hugging her.

  “I…um… Sorry to interrupt,” I say as I back out of the office.

  “Emily! Wait.”

  I stop.

  “Emily, I’d like you to meet my sister, Addison.”

  Sister? Shit. I look at her again, and she favors Patrick. I feel like an idiot.

  “I didn’t want to bother you two,” I say, trying to cover myself.

  “You’re not. We were just talking about you before Kristin called. Addison was getting ready to leave.”

  “Oh. Sorry.” He grabs my hand and walks me into his office.

  “Addison, this is Emily. Emily, this is my sister Addison.”

  “Nice to meet you, Emily. Patrick told me a lot about you today. Glad he found someone who keeps him on his toes.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, I need to go and check on Dad. I’ll call later. Love you, Patrick. Bye, Emily,” she says as she walks out the door, closing it behind her.

  “Who knew, Ms. Janes had a jealous streak.” He reaches for me, clutching onto my hands and holds them in his.

  “I do not,” I lie.

  “You don’t fib very well, gorgeous,” he says with a wink.

  “Ugh. You caught me. Sorry. You’re you and all hot and sexy…and I can’t contain my…overwhelming need to claim you as mine.”

  “Like pee on me like a dog?” Looking at me like he’s appalled.

  “No!” I say, pulling my foot from my mouth.

  “Well, I am yours. I didn’t pour out my feelings in an art museum just for a one time fuck,” he says seriously. “Actually, I haven’t been in that museum just to be there until you. So I think it’s safe to say I’m yours.”

  I feel like an idiot.

  “Come here, you,” he says as he pulls my body into his, lifting my chin and kisses me, making me needy with desire and wanting.

  She tastes like citrus and vanilla cream, and I can’t get enough of it. I’ve been craving her taste since I left her house early Monday morning. I reluctantly pull out of the kiss as I hear her stomach growl.

  “Hungry?”

  “Yes. I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to go to lunch. I’m off the rest of the day.”

  “Nice, how about Lulou’s?”

  “I’ve never been there.”

  “Then that’s where we’ll go.”

  “Alright.” She smiles at me, teasingly biting her bottom lip.

  I know I have to get out of this office or I’ll be having her for lunch on my desk. I take her hand and head out of my office, stopping to let Kristin know I’ll be gone for a few hours. She tells us to enjoy and we head to eat.

  As we are walking to my car, her cell phone rings.

  “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

  I nod as she answers the phone. A few moments go by and she cries out, tears running down her face. What the hell just happened. She hangs up the phone, putting it in her purse, and digging around for something.

  “I-I-I can’t go to lunch. I-I need to go. M-m-my mom is in the hospital,” she stutters out in between breaths.

  “I’ll drive you; you’re in no condition to drive. Where is she?”

  “She’s in Carson City at Carson Tahoe Regional.”

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  I hold her by the waist and direct her to my car; thinking I’m glad that my car is parked on the first level of the parking garage, and I get her in the car. I make sure my new phone syncs to Bluetooth and call Kristin to leave her a message that I’ll be in the office later today or tomorrow, and we are quickly in route to the hospital.

  Emily looks out the window withdrawn as I drive to the hospital, and I wish I knew what to say or how to console her, how to make her relax. Placing my hand on her thigh, right above the hem of her skirt, my thumb caresses the exposed flesh below the hem. Goose bumps appear on her skin from my touch, and she looks over at me with a small smile.

  “Thank you for driving me. I don’t know how I would have made it if I had to drive myself.”

  “Not a problem, gorgeous. I don’t mind at all.”

  “I’m just worried. I hadn’t talked to her in a few days, and this guy called me using her cell phone. I should have gone to see her Sunday.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know she had something going on?”

  “Perhaps…but I don’t know. I have a feeling she wasn’t taking care of herself. She told me she was doing better with handling Nate’s death, but I think she told me that so I wouldn’t worry about her.”

  “I think that is something you need to talk to her about.”

  “I will once I know she’s okay. I just feel so helpless right now.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll get you there as soon as I can so you can figure out what’s happening.”

  “Thank you, thank you so much,” she says as she wipes the tears from her face.

  I look away from her and look down at my speed, and I press the accelerator down more, increasing my speed. She needs to be there quickly to be with her mom, but I need to make sure I’m driving safely.

  The drive to the hospital seems to take hours, and I feel the bile rising in my throat. As soon as we arrive at Carson Tahoe Hospital, I have the urge to run from the car to Mom’s room, but I’ve never been here and I don’t know where I’m going. Patrick takes my hand and guides me in the direction the information desk, and they tell us where we need to go.

  My stomach continues to churn with nerves and worry. Why did this have to happen to my mom? I hope the doctor is able to explain why she’s here, how to make her better. We walk by the nurse’s station and I overheard them talking, “Did you see who’s in there with her? That actor guy from that one movie, you know that Sci-Fi film with Lawrence Fishburne…” I don’t hear the reply as Patrick continues walking with me in tow.

  Patrick stops us outside of room 210. The door has a small rectangular window, I look through it, and I see my mom in bed, resting. I place my hand on the door handle, pushing it open, and walk in the room, Patrick follows closely behind, still holding my hand. My eyes land on a man sitting in a recliner in the corner of the room, the man under the willow trees, and I stop midway through the door.

  I gasp, startling my mom awak
e; he’s whom the nurses were talking about when we walked by.

  “Emily.” Her voice is hoarse, and she looks a lot older than her fifty-six.

  “Mom,” I walk over to her bed, and pull up a chair, “what happened?”

  “I’m fine, I just passed out, and Kenneth thought I needed to be seen.”

  “Who? And Mom, this is Patrick Matheson, Patrick, this is my mom Cassandra.”

  “Nice to meet you, Patrick, finally.”

  “Likewise, I wish under different circumstances, though.”

  “I agree. Emily—” she licks her lips, thinking about how to word what she wants to say “—this is Kenneth,” she states gracefully waving her arm in his direction. “Kenneth, this is Emily…” She lets her words trail off like there’s more she wants to say.

  “Nice to meet you, thank you for getting my mom here. You look familiar. Were you at Nate’s funeral?” I ask, trying to piece together everything that’s happening.

  “It’s the least I could do as I blame myself for her condition,” he says concerned. “Yes, I was, although I didn’t think anyone saw me since I wasn’t near the burial plot.”

  “Oh?” What the hell? Hopefully he will explain further—I’m about to lose it, because I’m obviously in the dark about something. Who the fuck is this Kenneth guy?

  “Emily, there are some things I need to tell you.” My mom sighs as she tries to push herself up in the hospital bed.

  “I’ll step out to give you privacy,” Patrick says, squeezing my hand. I don’t know if I can handle anything right now.

  “No, please stay. I’ll be telling you anyways, might as well hear it from my mother.” I silently beg him not to leave me.

  He nods in okay as if he understood me, and I look at Mom to make sure it’s okay, and she doesn’t say no.

  “I don’t know how to say this without upsetting you, so I’m just going to say it.” She takes a deep breath, tears running down her face. Oh, hell. Is she dying? “Emily…Kenneth is your father, and he probably looks familiar to you. But you don’t know him as Kenneth Reed, as it’s his real name, not the stage name you know.”

  She takes another shaky, deep breath, continuing, “I’ll give you the short version. I was an extra on a movie set and became romantically involved, and you and Nate were a product of that love. Kenneth’s career took off and I let him go, without telling him I was pregnant. He didn’t know about you and Nate until he was on a USO tour and met Nate. Kenneth reached out to me when he returned stateside and I refused to let him in.” She sobs, and Kenneth gets up and tries to comfort her. He loves her, even after all these years that much is evident in his eyes.

  “I didn’t try hard enough to see you and Nate. I should have stood firm and demanded, but you were adults and I couldn’t just pop into your lives after all these years. Once I heard about Nate’s death, I knew I had to at least meet you, but I wanted to see your mom first and tell her that either I could do it with her support or I was doing it on my own.” He kisses her temple. “I didn’t realize that showing up would cause her to react like this. I’m sorry I wasn’t part of your life…”

  “I…I…don’t even know what to say. I have a father? But my mom wouldn’t let him be a part of my life? I don’t even know how to feel. Mom, how could you keep this from us, from me?” My voice threatens to raise, but Patrick rubs my knuckles, soothing my overheating temper.

  “I thought I was protecting you. Keeping you from getting caught up in the fast life of Hollywood. I was trying to be a mother.” His voice is quiet, she looks so broken.

  “Emily, I know we don’t know each other, but please try not to be too hard on her. There’s a lot that needs to be told about our relationship, but I’m not mad at her,” Kenneth says as he rubs Mom’s hand.

  “I’m completely overwhelmed right now. Let’s work on one issue at a time and go from there.” Patrick squeezes my hand, letting me know he agrees, but isn’t saying anything because he knows it isn’t his place to.

  “I can go with that,” Mom says, regaining her composure.

  “How long are they keeping you?” I ask, trying to figure out what I’m doing.

  “Tomorrow, if I have someone staying with me—”

  “I can do that,” Kenneth says before I have a chance to think about how to handle the situation.

  “Oh. Okay, thank you. Are you taking her to her house or somewhere else?” I raise my brow at him, making sure to know exactly where my mom is going to be.

  “I’ll take her to my ranch outside of Sparks. She needs to get out of her house and recover, heal from the events of the past month.”

  The awkwardness of the situation evaporates and everything seems to be under control for the time being, and I sit back in my chair, trying to gather my racing thoughts. . My upset stomach has calmed down along with my nerves, and even though I don’t have everything organized, I’m not going to freak out about it now.

  “I agree with you there. Before I leave, I’ll exchange numbers and addresses with you so I can visit with her when she gets settled in.” I take a cleansing breath, hoping I can make sense of everything later.

  “You’re being awful calm,” Patrick whispers in my ear.

  “Because you are here,” I murmur.

  “Kenneth, are you staying with my mom here at the hospital as well or do I need to stay with her?”

  “I hadn’t planned on leaving her, but if you don’t mind, I’m going to step out and make some phone calls.”

  “That’s fine, take your time.”

  “Thank you.” He kisses my mom on the head and walks by me, patting my arm gently and walks out of the room.

  “I’m going to go out and get a coffee; do you want me to bring you something back?” Patrick asks after looking at his phone.

  “A bottle of water, please.” I give him a small smile.

  “You got it.” He squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll return shortly.” He turns and leaves the room after smiling and nodding at my mom.

  As soon as the door latches, I look at my mother, time for some answers. “So. I just got the bullshit story of why you’re here. Mind telling what’s really going on?”

  She sighs, trying to avoid telling me the full truth. “Fine. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to keep it from you. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I can’t eat or sleep. All I can keep down is tea. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “It’s called grief, Mom. I understand. I so understand. I find myself calling his cell phone, hoping he answers, but he doesn’t. As much I hate it, he’s not coming back. I know it’s hard, but you have to try to pick up the pieces and place them together again. I’m here and I’ll help you through this, we can work through it together, just don’t shut me out anymore. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

  “I thought I was okay, I thought…I thought wrong. I’m so sorry, darling. I’m sorry for making you come here and having to check on me, having to worry.” Tears run down her face. I crawl into bed with her, holding her.

  “I love you, Mom. Please don’t ever forget and it’s okay to lean on me if you need to.”

  “I love you too.” She squeezes me tight, holding onto me like she did when I was a child.

  Her breathing evens out and her hold relaxes, she’s fallen asleep. I gently pull myself from her arms and get out of the bed, making sure the covers are around her snugly. I need to get out of the room; I need some air, something that I can’t get from this room.

  I back out of the room, making sure she doesn’t wake from the clicking of my heels on the concrete floor in the room, and I open the door as quietly as I can and latch it shut after I’m in the hallway. I take a few steps down the hallway and lean on the wall for support. My life, the simple life I knew growing up was a lie, and I slide down the wall, crumpling down the floor.

  “Emily!” Patrick says, dropping everything in his hands and runs to me.

  “I had to get out of there, I couldn’t breathe
,” I breathlessly respond.

  “Let me help you up, are you hurt?” he asks with worry lacing his voice.

  “No. I’m fine, I couldn’t stand anymore.” He pulls me up in his arms, holding me close. I can feel his heart beating frantically in his chest.

  “I shouldn’t have left you,” he says, beating himself up.

  “I’m fine—”

  “You’re not. I just found you on the floor,” he cuts me off.

  “I had a little anxiety attack. I’m okay.”

  “If you say, but I’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the evening.”

  “Okay.” I don’t want him to worry about me. He has enough going on.

  “I need to get that cleaned up. I hope your sandwich is okay.”

  “I’m sure it is. I’ll help you.”

  “I got it, I got you.”

  He helps me into Mom’s room, making sure I’m okay and returns to the hallway to clean up the mess. He’s returns to the room within a few minutes with a brown paper sack containing a ham and cheddar on wheat, my favorite.

  Kenneth walks in the room as I’m finishing my sandwich and has a conversation with Patrick, I can’t hear. They keep looking at me and I know they are talking about me. I’m sure Patrick will tell me what it was all about later, and I see him fishing in his inside coat pocket, producing a business card and hands it to Kenneth. They shake hands and walk further into the room, next to Mom’s bed and me.

  “Emily, I talked to Cassie’s doctor while I was out, and he will see you in a bit. From what I gathered from him, your mom is scheduled to be released in the morning. Everything came back within the normal ranges. The preparations for your mom in my country home are underway, and I have a psychologist friend that’s coming over to talk with your mom in the next few days. You’re more than welcome to meet with him too.”

  “Thank you. I think that will be a tremendous help to her, and I might take you up on that offer, especially to learn how to help Mom out.”

  “Good thinking. While I was making calls, I wrote down all the info you wanted. The top number is my cell phone, the second number is the home phone, and the next few numbers are my manager and my driver. If you can’t reach me, they will know where I am. They are aware who you are and they know they are to assist you if you should call. The first address is the address to my country home and the second is my ranch in Montana. I’m trying to be as transparent as I can with you.”