Little White Lie

by Madison Night

  “What’s going on with you, Nikki?” Theo asked gently, reverting to her birth name as he often did when he was worried about her.

  She sighed and rested her head on his strong shoulder. “It’s the whole Brett thing.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s not, because the ‘whole Brett thing’ has been going on a long time. You’ve only been acting weird since you got back from Banff.” He nudged her in the ribs with his elbow. “Well, weirder than you usually do, anyhow.”

  Squeezing her eyes shut she mentally weighed the pros and cons of telling Theo the truth. He wouldn’t judge her. He would continue to be the strong shoulder she was now leaning on. He would help her through the inevitable heartbreak.

  And he would of course ask her what in God’s name possessed her to date a famous rock star anyhow.

  Okay, fine, I won’t tell him it’s Caleb, but I have to get this off my chest.

  She scratched her forehead and grimaced. “I, uh… I kind of met someone.”

  He sat up straighter. “What do you mean you kind of met someone?”

  “A guy.”

  “Okay. We all meet people. No biggie. Right?” He pulled away and studied her. “Tell me it’s no biggie.”

  She peeked up at him sheepishly. “It’s a biggie.”

  “Oh, crap.”

  “I’ve seen him on and off since I went to Banff back in March.”

  “Double crap.”

  “And I might have stumbled and fallen in love with him along the way.”

  He groaned. “Crap to infinity.”

  She frowned. “Yeah, that.”

  He twisted his body to face her, and raked a hand through his wavy brown hair. “So, how’d you two meet? How in love are we talking here? Does he realize you’re engaged to fuckwad?” He grinned. “And, perhaps most importantly, does he like Greek food?”

  “Theo, this is serious,” she said, slapping his arm.

  “Agreed. Answer the questions.”

  She shook her head at her glass-half-full brother and tried to gauge how he’d react to her answers. “Let’s see, we met when my car went sliding into his on an icy road. Can’t say how in love I am—I only figured it out myself on the way over here. I’ve barely wrapped my head around the idea.” She sighed. “He has no idea I’m engaged. And yes, he loves Greek food.”

  “Great! When do I get to meet him?”

  “Theo!”

  “All right, all right,” he conceded, putting on his serious face. “Does he feel the same way about you?”

  She let her shoulders slump and gnawed on her lower lip. “I think so. I mean, I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything yet.”

  “How have you guys been seeing each other with Brett around?”

  “We probably see each other once every few weeks,” she said sadly. “He lives in the States.”

  A light bulb switched on over his head and his eyes opened wide. “That’s why you were in such a good mood this morning! You were with him!”

  Her face flushed crimson.

  His brown eyes widened further. “Oh, you bad, bad girl, you!”

  Syd buried her face in her hands, mortified.

  He gently pulled her hands away and dipped his head to look at her. “So, what are we going to do about this?” he asked, his voice gentle.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, good thing you’ve got your big brother around. Because he knows what to do.” He reached out and pinched her cheek. “Dump Brett. Cancel the wedding. Go be with Mr. Dream Boy.”

  She gaped at him. “I can’t! Papa…”

  “We’ll figure something out. You know we will. Papa won’t hate you, no matter what you think. In fact, I think knowing how unhappy you are is doing more damage than anything. It breaks his heart to see his little girl so sad all the time.”

  “I can’t do that, Theo. Papa—family—comes first.”

  He scowled. “I’d bet anything Brett would never even utter a word about this if you told him where to go.”

  “And if you’re wrong?” she countered.

  The question hung in the air between them, as they mutely watched a mallard dunk its head under the water and pop back up.

  “It’s been too long since you’ve been happy, Nikki,” Theo whispered.

  She glanced up at him, her eyes moist with emotion. “You, too. Ever since Mom died you and I have sucked in the relationship game, haven’t we? It’s like we haven’t allowed ourselves the chance at that kind of happiness.”

  He refused to meet her eyes.

  “Theo?”

  “Yeah, we’ve sucked. Right.”

  She gave him a half-smile. “By the way, Cara still doesn’t have a boyfriend,” she whispered, squeezing his hand.

  It was his turn to blush. “So?”

  Sydney sighed. Her brother was the most confident, optimistic, outgoing person she knew—until she mentioned Cara’s name. Then he turned into a shy pre-teen with a huge crush on the most popular girl in school. He’d had a thing for Cara for a long time. She wasn’t sure how Cara felt about him, though, beyond the fact that she thought he was a great guy.

  “Nothing, Theo. So, nothing. And I’m not calling things off with Brett. I won’t do that to Papa. It’s not worth the risk.”

  “Well, I’m not sure what to tell you then, Syd.”

  “Promise you’ll be there for me, okay? I have to call things off with Caleb, and when I do I’m really going to need a shoulder or two to cry on.”

  He reached out and hugged her fiercely. “I’ll be here for you, sis. Anytime, anyplace. You know that.”

  Hugging him back, she was no longer able to fight the tears she’d been battling all morning. “Thank you for not judging me, Theo.”

  He kissed her hair. “I need my annoying little sister happy, okay. Whatever happens, happens. Just be happy.”

  She nodded. “I will be. I promise.”

  But, without Caleb in her life, that was a promise she’d never be able to keep.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “Hey, how’s Sydney doing? You haven’t gushed about her much the last couple weeks,” Pat asked, getting up from the plush chair he’d been sitting in for the past six hours. He carefully leaned his guitar against the wall and reached his arms up in the air to stretch.

  Caleb frowned. “Syd, yeah, she’s great man. Thanks for asking.”

  Pat halted mid-stretch and tipped his head to study his brother. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Caleb’s gaze flicked up to meet PJ’s for a brief second before returning to the staff paper on the coffee table in front of him. “What do you mean?”

  “A few weeks ago”—Pat began, making his way to the small bar fridge in the corner of the cozy makeshift studio—“all you could do was talk about Syd. If I asked how she was doing, you’d go on and on about how amazing she is. Syd this, Syd that…” He pulled two bottles of water out of the fridge and made his way back to Caleb. “Now you barely say squat.” He tossed his brother one of the bottles.

  He sighed. He had been wondering when PJ would ask him about this. His mood had been doing nothing but going downhill at a runaway speed since the last time he saw Sydney—almost four fucking weeks ago, now. It was inevitable.

  He twisted the cap off the bottle and took a good long swallow before answering. “I don’t get what’s going on with her. I realize we live in different countries, and I get that we won’t be able to be with each other every day.” He shook his head. “Hell, even if we lived in the same city we’d be lucky to see each other more than twice a week, if only because of our respective jobs.” He stood and paced the small room.

  “But what?”

  Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “But… But everything!” He capped the water bottle and slammed it onto the table. “But I haven’t seen her in nearly a month. But I’m lucky if I’ve spoken to her twice in the past two weeks, and when I do talk to her she’s distant. But she’s always so fucking busy with God knows what tha
t I have no idea when I’ll get to see her again. But I’ve fallen completely and totally in love with her and I got no clue as to how she fucking feels. That’s what!”

  Pat leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, his lips pressed into a thin line. He seemed to be waiting patiently for his brother to continue.

  Caleb paced the room, trying to figure out what to say next. They both were silent a few minutes before he spoke again. “You realize I left Miami to come stay here in Cali to be closer to her, right?”

  PJ nodded. “I kind of figured as much, to be honest. It’s not like we live in Alaska and you were seeking warmth. We live in Florida, for fuck’s sake—the eastern equivalent of California. I don’t mind working on the album here with you, but you know I like to be close to home. You get how I can be.”

  Caleb chuffed. He certainly did understand how his brother could be. The two had fought for hours over his refusal to come back to Miami to work on the album. While the duo were usually in sync on everything from lyrics to album artwork to what takeout to order, the one thing Pat always fought for was working at home, in Florida. A single dad, he hated not being close to his daughter Lilly, and he worked best when he was able to sleep in the comfort of his own bed and wake up rejuvenated and refreshed in the morning. Caleb would never usually fight so hard for something like this, especially knowing what it would mean to his brother, but he was insistent. Pat must’ve sensed something else was really going on, and caved.

  “So you love her, huh?” he asked softly.

  Caleb plunked into his seat and groaned. “Yeah, man. I do like you wouldn’t believe.”

  “Have you told her?”

  “No, not yet.”

  PJ sat across from him and rested his forearms on his knees, hands clasped together. “Why haven’t you?”

  “I’m not sure, really,” Caleb answered, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. “I mean, it’s a good thing, right? I love her. I’m dying to tell her, but part of me is terrified. After all the crap I went through with Meg, maybe part of me is scared of getting hurt again and making another mistake.”

  “You didn’t make a mistake with Meg, bro. She’s the one who cheated on you. She’s the one to blame. You don’t need to be scared of other relationships because of that lying bitch.”

  “I’m not. I only think of how everything went to shit the minute I told her I loved her. In the back of my mind I’m scared that the same thing will happen with Syd. I can’t screw this one up, too.”

  “Sounds to me like she’s the one screwing this up, not you,” PJ mumbled.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” Pat answered, waving his hand in the air dismissively. “I don’t want to battle it out with you.”

  Caleb sighed. “No, you’re right. She is screwing it up.” He rubbed at his eyes, weary. “It’s just that I thought what we had, what we were building, was great. When I was with her she was happy—she even said she was worried she’d lose me, and now she’s the one who’s pulling away and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, bro, okay? But maybe she’s not as into you are you are to her?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Pat shrugged and grimaced. “Well, look, just playing a little devil’s advocate here, but you’re the one who chased her all the way to Vancouver, even though she said she didn’t want to see you again after your time together in Banff. You’re the one freaking out about this, picking up and staying here in California only to be closer to her. You’re the one who goes out of his way to be with her.” He paused and grimaced. “Maybe she’s not interested in you, not for a relationship anyhow. Maybe you’re fun for a tumble in the sheets, but she doesn’t want anything else?”

  “No. You’re wrong. She’s totally interested in me.”

  Pat raised his eyebrows. “Is that your ego talking?”

  Caleb shook his head and leaned forward in his seat. “Listen, I see the way she looks at me, man, the same way Mom looked at Dad. It’s in the way she touches me and says my name.” He shook his head again. “No. She has feelings for me that go beyond casual sex, PJ. There’s no way it’s all in my head.”

  “Fine,” Pat conceded. “So then why is she pulling away?”

  “I don’t know,” Caleb answered miserably.

  “Well, you better find out, man, because it’s eating you alive.” Pat got to his feet. “Speaking of eating, I’m going to go upstairs and order us some Chinese. Maybe you want to give a certain someone a quick call and figure out what’s going on in that pretty little head of hers?” He patted him on the shoulder as he walked out the door and up the stairs to the main floor.

  No, Caleb thought. No, I don’t want to call her. I’ve been the one calling her every other day for the past couple weeks.

  But he had to try to figure out what was wrong. Was it something he said or did that was making her withdraw from him?

  He reached for his cell phone and punched in her number, tapping his foot impatiently while waiting for the call to connect.

  “Hello?” a quiet voice answered.

  “Syd?”

  “Caleb? Oh, um, now’s not a good time,” she said quickly. “Can I… Can I call you later?”

  He frowned. She didn’t sound herself. “Is everything okay, Syd?”

  “Yeah, yeah. You caught me right in the middle of about ten things.” She tittered.

  “I just need a minute, babe. It’s really important.”

  “Um, all right. What’s up?”

  “What’s going on with us, darlin’. Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

  He heard her sigh. “No, Caleb. You’ve been perfect.”

  His shoulders slumped. “Well, then what’s wrong? I’m the one always calling you lately. I understand you’re really busy with Christou’s, but come on, we haven’t seen each other in weeks. I know I’m acting like a needy little teenager, but you went from hot to cold in an instant, and I deserve to be told why.”

  “CJ, I really can’t get into this right now.”

  “I understand that, Syd, but we agreed to try to make this work. It’s been almost a month, and you can’t manage to take even one day to see me.” A crash sounded and he heard Puff whining. He sat up in his chair rod straight. “What was that?”

  “Nothing. It was nothing. Look, CJ, really. I’m sorry but I have to go.”

  “I’m still waiting for you, baby! Don’t make me wait all night!” a male voice shouted in the background.

  “Syd, what’s going on? Who’s there with you?” he asked, his stomach in knots.

  “I’m in Toronto next week. I’ll call you then. Goodnight,” she whispered, hanging up.

  A few minutes later PJ returned to find Caleb slumped over in his chair, deep in thought, brow furrowed. “Did you call her?”

  Caleb nodded.

  “And?”

  He shook his head and turned to face his brother. “Pat, I have no idea what the fuck to think anymore. She couldn’t wait to get me off the phone. And…” He shrugged, unable to say the words.

  “What, man? Come on, tell me.”

  He glanced up at PJ, sure that the confusion in his mind was reflected in his eyes. “And there was a guy there with her. I heard the voice in the background. Some dude said that he was waiting for her, and didn’t want her to make him wait all night.” He clenched his fists. “He called her ‘baby’.”

  Pat blinked at him.

  “That’s not exactly a good sign, is it?”

  “Maybe it was the television?” Pat suggested.

  “Don’t think so. Syd was practically whispering to me, like she was trying to hide the fact she was on the phone. Shit,” he murmured. “She’s seeing someone else, that’s gotta be it.”

  “I’m not sure what to say here, CJ. Maybe… Just don’t assume anything or assume the worst, okay? Next time you speak with her, ask her about it and try to get to the truth. But till then, don’t torture yourself with what
-ifs.”

  “She said she’d be in Toronto next week and that she’d call me.” Caleb ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not calling her again, Pat. If she wants to be with me, if she wants to talk, then she needs to make the next move. I won’t chase her like this.”

  He nodded sadly at his brother.

  “I’m done trying, PJ. Done.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Syd put her cell on the bed beside her and blinked back the tears that burned her eyes. Of course Caleb would choose to call her right now, at the worst possible time ever. She pulled a shaking Puff into her lap and flinched when she heard another crash downstairs.

  Come on, Theo. Come on.

  “Nikki! Oh, Nikki! You can’t hide up there forever, baby.”

  “I can try,” she muttered, hand gliding over Puff’s smooth fur, trying to soothe the frightened dog. Every so often she’d let out a little growl, but even that quickly faded away into a whimper.

  For a moment, the only sound was the rain hammering down on the roof and the occasional rumble of thunder in the distance. Normally Syd loved thunderstorms, the steady drumming of the rain soothing her and lulling her to sleep. Not tonight. Tonight, each thunderclap foreshadowed the inevitable fight with Brett and each flash of lightning frazzled her nerves.

  Syd froze when she heard footsteps in the hall outside her bedroom door. Thank God she’d locked it.

  “Nikki.” The doorknob jiggled. “Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. Come on, baby. Let me in.”

  “Go away, Brett,” she answered, her tone stern. “You’re drunk, so call a cab and go home already.”

  “Drunk I may be. Going home, though, that’s not an option. Not till we talk,” he slurred. He tried the doorknob again. “Damn it, Nikki, let me in!” Brett pounded on the door.

  Syd put the quivering dog gently on the duvet. “Stay, Puff. Don’t move,” she whispered. The dog’s eyes were filled with worry, as if she was trying to convince her mama to stay in the sanctity of the bedroom and not to go down and face the big bad monster. She gave the pup a quick kiss on the forehead, hoping to calm both their nerves. She got up and headed to the door. “Brett, go back downstairs. When I hear you there I’ll come out, but not before.”