Loving Siblings: Aidan & Dionne

by Catharina Shields

“No, this isn’t want I want to do,” she finally answered, lowering her eyes. “But it’s not like I don’t have any reason to be upset—”

  “—I’ve never lied to you,” he finally said. “Let’s get that straight, first and foremost. And I’m not about to start now.”

  She raised her head and narrowed suspiciously shimmering eyes at him. “Then maybe you can tell my why my bed looks as if someone’s been in it?”

  “Maybe,” he shrugged, “because someone has been?”

  “AHA!” she cried, shaking an accusatory finger at him. “So you’ve never lied to me? And you’re not about to start now??” she mocked. “So tell me, Honest Abe, who else in this house has the audacity, the arrogance, and the conceit to just waltz into MY ROOM as if it’s his, and lie down in MY bed without my permission? Tell me that.”

  “Look Dionne,” he sighed, exasperated. “I just took a nap in your bed, that’s all. I’m telling you the truth. I haven’t brought another girl to your room since that day, okay?”

  “Oh lucky, lucky me,” she scoffed, crossing arms.

  “Good,” he drawled. “I’m really touched you believe me. Really.”

  Then he pushed from the counter and sauntered over to her to exit the kitchen, forcing her to straighten in order to continue glaring at him. She raised her head and stuck her chin out as she arched a brow to show she wasn’t the least bit intimidated—even IF he was six feet four, towering over her five foot five, and she felt just a teensy-weensy intimidated. Just a teensy.

  “What I want to know,” she said pointedly, “is why you’d even want to nap in my bed? What’s wrong with yours?”

  “Nuthin’s wrong with mine—”

  “—Then why go through the trouble of going all the way up to the attic—?” but she abruptly stopped when he suddenly moved and towered over her, narrowing eyes as he looked down at her surprised face that was rapidly infusing with bright color.

  “What do you wanna hear, Sis?” he said with a seductively deep tone. “Do you wanna hear I take naps in your bed because I miss being with you? Do you want to hear how I can’t sleep unless I can smell you all around me? Do you need to hear me tell you I need to breathe you in otherwise I don’t feel like I’m alive? What do you wanna hear?”

  She stood there, speechless. Wide-eyed and . . . utterly tongue-tied.

  “Look,” he sighed, dropping lashes for a moment. “I just—” he paused, then raised his gaze. “I just take naps in your room. Nothing else,” he resumed with a somber tone and look. “It’s the quietest place in the house. And when I’m there, I feel at peace.”

  She swallowed, and lowered her eyes as she averted her face. “Oh.”

  “After what we shared by the pool last Saturday, and seeing how you don’t even want to touch me anymore—”

  “—I don’t want to talk about that anymore—”

  “—all I have left is your bed,” he continued, undisturbed. Then he passed her with what looked a lot like a childish pout.

  “Are you . . . pouting?? What are you? Ten?” she said, feeling she needed to say something after that shocking revelation!.

  “Whatever,” he tossed carelessly over his shoulder.

  She turned and looked at his broad back before he dropped into the armchair, but he didn’t pick up the remote again. She sighed and looked down at the wooden floor, thinking how much she hated this constant bickering, and how it was taking its toll on them both. It was just a matter of time before it would start affecting the rest of the family, if it hadn’t already. So they needed to have this resolved now.

  And although she darn well knew what he wanted, she couldn’t bring herself to give it to him. She wasn’t going to be Aidan Boyd van Nuys’ “new and exciting” thing. She knew she didn’t have it in her to survive a fling like that.

  But she also knew they needed to stop this iciness between them.

  “Aidan?” she called softly as she turned and looked at him across the room. “You know we can’t keep doing this.”

  She didn’t get a response, so she crossed the room and came to stand beside the armchair again. He was sitting back, relaxed in the large armchair with one shoe against the coffee table, sipping his soft drink. She was wracking her brains for words to say as she stood there with, unbeknownst to her, a look of anguish and desperation.

  She sighed softly as she took a seat on the overstuffed armrest of the sofa.

  “Don’t you think forgetting what happened is the best thing for everyone? We’re under a lot of pressure these days, what with you looking for the right university to further your education, and my juggling my internship and job. We need to take a breather and sort things out for ourselves. But until then,” she placed her hands in her lap, “is it too much to ask you to respect my space as I respect yours? I mean, you’ve got your own room and your own bed. Your room is much bigger than mine, and more accessible, right?”

  Still no response. Not even a blink.

  “And you know I’d never think of disrespecting you by invading your space as you’ve had no problem invading mine. But I can forgive you for those times. I think we need to start fresh, and we need to understand it’s all about mutual respect. I would never go to your room and lie down on your bed without your permission—”

  “—I’m not stopping you,” he finally spoke up.

  She frowned as she looked at him. “What?”

  He turned his lazily lidded eyes to her while bringing his bottle to his full lips. “If you want to come to my room, and lie down on my bed, with or without me, feel free. Of course, I’d prefer you’d want to be there with me.” He raised cool brows. “Mi cama es su cama, Sis.”

  She gritted her teeth. My bed is your bed?

  “You haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said.” She was seething, narrowing eyes on his unimpressed face. It was clear he wasn’t open to a serious discussion, so she shot to her feet. “Fine! You want to act your shoe size? Go ahead, Aidan,” she hissed. “I was only trying to reason with you like an adult, but your shitty attitude only convinces me why I need to put a stop—”

  “—You can try,” he said, shrugging as he sipped his soft drink.

  “—to something that isn’t doing either of us any good,” she finished undisturbed.

  “What makes you think I’ll let you?”

  She gnashed teeth. “Let me? Who in the hell do you think you are—?”

  “—The guy who you can’t just send away with one of your little “dear John” notes. The guy you’re not going to just shove aside after you had your way with me—”

  “—Had my way with you?!” she gasped in shocked disbelief.

  “You know that’s true,” he said lazily.

  She glared at his cool face. “Do you want me to apologize, then?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “I’m not being ridiculous! I’m trying to be grown up about this, but you’re not making it easy for me.”

  No response.

  “Maybe, just maybe, if you’d stop acting like a child and grow up, too, you’d finally understand what’s at stake if we don’t resolve this!” she hissed. “I’m really sorry it’s gotten this far out of hand, and I’m really sorry you got the wrong impression—”

  “—Wrong impression?” he cut her off coolly. “You mean when you gave me an incredible blow job?”

  “You’re being crude just to be spiteful!”

  “I’m being truthful,” he said pointedly, his gaze tight on her flushed face. “How else am I supposed to interpret what you’ve done for me other than what it is, Dionne? Tell me, Sis, what impression am I suppose to have when you take my dick in your mouth—?”

  “—Oh, wow! Does it make you feel like a real man to be so crude?!” she snapped.

  “Fine!” he snapped as he shot to his feet, and got in her face. “Why don’t you tell me what other impression I’m supposed to have from something like that, huh Dionne? Cuz I’d really like to know! You’ve been sending me m
ixed messages for weeks now, and then you come on to me—”

  “—Come on to you?!? YOU came on to ME!”

  “—and I really can’t see any other reason other than you wanting me the way I want you—and it ain’t like a brother!” he continued undisturbed. He sighed and rubbed his forehead for a moment. “Why don’t you just stop?” He dropped his hand and looked at her with frustration. “Stop being a coward already, Dionne,” he said with a quieter tone. “Admit it. This is mutual. It’s meant to be. It’s really as simple as fate.”

  She stared at him with shimmering eyes. “Nothing’s ever that simple, Aidan.”

  “There’s only one question you’ve got to ask yourself, Sis,” he said, stepping closer, ignoring how she took a step back.

  “And-And that would be?” She swallowed big as she looked distrustful at his grim and unwavering gaze.

  “Ask yourself why you did it.”

  He just asked her the very question she was afraid he would. It was one she’d avoided asking herself. She had been afraid to ask herself that very question because she knew she’d have trouble answering it truthfully. For her, there was no good answer. She wished there were, but no matter how she wracked her already spinning brain—spinning because he was standing so near she could barely think straight—and no matter how she answered, there’d be consequences. And she wasn’t sure she was ready to face them.

  “I—” She looked up into his unwavering eyes. They seemed to strip her of all her self confidence. “It was a mistake,” she finally said. “I-I wasn’t thinking. It was a moment of simple thoughtlessness—”

  “—You know that’s not true.”

  “I don’t know why, okay?!” she finally blurted, tossing up arms. “I can’t explain it.”

  “Yeah, you can,” he said quietly, the stark lines in his face softening. “And you know why you’re avoiding answering it, too, Dionne. You’re afraid. But you don’t have to be. I’m here for you.” He raised his hand and gently flattened it against her face. “We can do this together. I promise you. I’m a man, Sis. I’m not a boy, anymore.”

  She was staring up into his eyes with big bunny eyes. It tore at his heart, filling him with the deep love he’s always felt for her ever since he could remember. Without thinking, he bent his head to her, and to his delight, she didn’t pull back.

  His heart skipped because this was a good sign. For all her ranting, she was as attracted to him as he was to her, and it was his job, he now understood, to make sure she understood and felt it, and to help her over that difficult threshold.

  He knew she could feel his breath against her closing eyelids as their powerful sexual chemistry took over, and drew them closer. He could feel it in every cell of his tense body, and he sensed it in hers, too. She had already been surrendering to it, even before he came to his feet; even before she followed him into the kitchen; even before she lowered herself to her knees in front of him by the poolside . . .

  “Give in to “us”, Dionne,” he whispered. “We both know you want to. We both know you’re just having a little trouble accepting it because you’re afraid. But like I’ve said, I’m not a boy anymore,” he whispered as he stepped closer. “I’m a man, and I’m strong enough for the both of us. Just let me be your man.”

  “Th-This isn’t right. I should’ve never—”

  “—You said so yourself, you’ve never done anything like that for any other guy. Just me. Just for me, Dionne. That means something. It means something big. For both of us.”

  “No.” She shook her head, but she didn’t step back.

  “Yes,” he said, urging her, helping her, yearning for her to finally accept them. “Why do you keep fighting me? Us?” he whispered softly. “You know you want to be with me, Dionne. It’s not doing either of us any good that you keep fighting what we both want so badly. What we both need so badly.”

  His deep voice got softer still as he closed the gap between them. She felt the heat of his body just before it touched her. She instinctively stepped back and bumped against the sofa, but he quickly closed that gap, too. She felt overwhelmed, even a little choked. She felt timid, insecure, and yet . . . also strong.

  It all didn’t make sense, but it felt so right.

  Her gaze dropped to her younger brother’s lips. Her face was flushed with rising desire, and her heartbeats drummed loudly in her ears. She couldn’t stop her hand from shaking as it rose and tenderly flattened against his lean, hard cheek. He felt so good to her touch.

  Then she felt his warm, strong palm touch hers back, and her body reacted, pulling her deeper into that delicious but dangerous haze quickly enveloping her.

  “I can’t,” she said. It was a desperate attempt to not lose all her sanity, and it was all she could think of saying at that moment. “I can’t.”

  Everything inside her wanted to, but she knew if she’d give in, she’d find herself stepping over a life-changing threshold, reaching the point of no return. What gave her some strength was the knowledge he didn’t know the reason why she couldn’t let him have what he so wanted. What she so wanted.

  His fingers were gentle as they slipped under her chin, and with a little pressure, he had her raise her face to look up into his burning eyes. There was so much strength within them. God! She thought. When did he grow up?

  It only seemed like yesterday when he was laid in her arms and she carried him around the house like he was her dolly. Now he was taller than she. Aidan was all grown up and filled with self-confidence. She knew she helped in that, but it was mostly his own strength of character that made him the irresistible man he was today.

  “You can, Dionne,” he urged softly. “All you have to do is . . . let yourself go. Just do it. Just let me touch you,” he said as he looked deeply into her eyes.

  Her lashes flickered. She felt he could see straight down into her soul. She tried her best to hold his gaze. She really did. But then she felt her cheeks burn hot, and with the last ounces of will she had left, she tugged her chin free and looked away.

  “It’s just not meant to be,” she said firmly enough.

  She wanted to escape that moment, that very spot, but his arm shot out, bracing a hand on the back of the sofa, and he effectively blocked a quick retreat. She felt her heart pounding against her ribs, but she was paralyzed to do much else. From the corner of her eye, she watched as his dark head came closer . . . closer . . . closer. She couldn’t move when her younger brother buried his nose in her hair. God, it felt so good.

  “Aidan . . . don’t,” she said, despite the thrills she felt, and although she knew she didn’t sound the least bit convincing—since even she could hear the deep sigh in her own words—she felt she had to protest.

  “Why?” he murmured; his voice sending shivers up her spine.

  She swallowed. Yes, Dionne . . . why? Why stop him from giving you what you want to finally end this excruciating impasse? What does it matter you’ll only have these moments with him until the “new and exciting” wears off? At least you’d know what it would be like to be loved so passionately.

  “Because . . . Because we’re sister and brother,” she whispered. That rang hollow. She tried again. “Because it’s . . . incest, even if there’s no blood between us,” she tried again, desperate to find something not to have to tell him the truth.

  “Really? Is that why?”

  He wasn’t buying it. Could she blame him?

  “And because I’m too old for you,” she said. She had to say something. Anything. But it was no less hollow than her other excuses. She knew he felt it. She knew he knew. Then, unable to control herself, feeling as if she were losing control of her sanity, panic and desperation set in.

  “And-And because if you keep after me, I swear to GOD, Aidan, I swear to god,” she finally broke free from her paralysis. “I’ll leave. I’ll move out and leave!” And then she shoved his arm away and bolted out of the living room.

  **~~**

  Chapter Eleven: Quiet before the
Storm

  “God, if only I could only take that day back,” Dionne whispered, downtrodden. “No matter how wonderful it was, I should’ve never . . . I just wish I could just take back my mistake.”

  She felt tears of stress burn in her eyes as she closed her door and dragged her weary body to her bed. There, she turned and dropped back across it, lying listlessly with arms over her teary eyes.

  Great! She made no progress whatsoever. Maybe it was time to just fly the coop. Maybe it was time to get on with her life. She was stuck. Back to square ONE. This time, though, she was convinced it wasn’t entirely her fault. She, at least, took the first step and made the first attempt at reconciliation, but Aidan was like a bulldog. He was hounding her to continue with something that should’ve never happened in the first place.

  “When will the “new and exciting” wear off for him?” she moaned in despair.

  Why couldn’t he see it wasn’t as easy for her as it seemed to be for him? It wasn’t just a matter of jumping into bed with each other for instant sexual gratification. They were family. They shared lives with others they loved. They had their studies, a boyfriend, many, many girlfriends, and he had such a bright and promising future ahead of him.

  And she had . . . Helmut.

  “Great.” Dionne felt even more miserable. And she felt so drained, so tired. She really hated it they were still fighting, but some demon must’ve come in the dead of night and possessed her sweet little brother, turning him into this oversexed monster she really didn’t recognize, one, she was even a little afraid of . . . because he made her feel things that were stronger than her own will.

  “This has got to stop . . .” she mumbled sleepily, letting fatigue take over, and soon, she felt herself slowly drifting away into a necessary, rejuvenating nap . . .

  **~~**

  “Goin’ out tonight?” she heard Aidan say more than ask.

  She turned around to see his flaming blue eyes looking at her. She struggled with powerful emotions, knowing then and there how severe her mistake was, and that things were quickly getting out of hand.