Bunkers

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “Things are pretty crazy,” agreed Mark.

  “Oh my God,” said Tina. “Did you hear that Crabby is calling up seventeen year-olds?”

  “And draft dodgers are getting automatic life sentences,” said Anita.

  “I wonder if Bones has heard that,” said Tiffany, who wore a sheer white dress that was nearly invisible in the bright sunshine. “Dottie is going to get ten years for helping him.”

  “I feel sorry for them,” said Larry. “To be on the run like that, always looking over your shoulder, that’s no way to live.”

  “They made their own bed,” said Jumbo. “What if everyone just skipped out on their duty? What kind of world would we live in?”

  “Give me a break,” said Tina, “Bones is in his fifties, he shouldn’t have been drafted. What if the military suddenly decided that they needed used car salesmen, what would you do?”

  Everyone laughed at that, including Jumbo. “Who says they won’t?” he asked. “I can tell you exactly what I’d do. I’d be the first used car salesman to report for service. I’m not afraid to die to defend my country. I’m no coward.”

  Mark listened as the conversation meandered from the draft to other current events, and back again to the draft. He knew what Jumbo was saying was right, and it hurt to admit that. Bones had taken the coward’s way out and there was no getting around that. By giving him a place to stay, Mark had compromised not only his own values and principles, but he had risked his freedom. And while it had felt like the right thing to do at the time, he found himself regretting his decision to give Bones and Dottie a safe haven.

  They ate burgers and drank beer at two picnic tables in Larry’s driveway. Garth Brooks crooned from a stereo in the garage and despite everything, Mark felt good. He felt part of a neighborhood, which was something he had never experienced. And while his neighbors had their faults, they had accepted him into their fold and he was thankful for that. They seemed to have settled their differences and Mark was happy to see that. Jumbo and Glick sat across the table from each other, joking, discussing what still needed to be done in the shelter. Larry teased Tiffany about her see-thru dress and she stood up and made a big show of pretending not to notice. Mark could see fire in Tina’s eyes as she watched Larry, but it only lasted a second and he doubted anyone else had caught it. Tina was soon talking as if nothing had happened.

  Still, Mark couldn’t get that look out of his mind. He wondered if there was more to this story. Tiffany was an attractive woman with a nice figure and she obviously loved to show it off. Tina was also attractive, but she still carried some of her child-bearing weight, and she tried to hide it by wearing loose-fitting outfits.

  “Are we ready?” asked Jumbo. “I think it’s time we took Mark out back to show him our new home.”

  “I’m ready,” said Anita, standing up from the table. “But first, I’d like to make an announcement.”

  “Anita,” said Glick, “this isn’t the right time.”

  “Oh my God, just do it,” said Tina.

  “I am going to do it,” replied Anita, showing her teeth to her husband. “I’m going to have another baby!”

  There was a smattering of applause and congratulations, but to Mark, it seemed a bit subdued. He found himself trying to compensate for this and it only worsened the situation. “That’s great news,” he said. “I’m really happy for the both of you.”

  “There,” said Anita to Glick, “the cat is now officially out of the bag.”

  Mark thought he could hear the wheels spinning as the group absorbed the information. He knew what they were thinking and it was hard to blame them for it. Living in their shelter with a newborn baby was going to put a strain on all of them.

  Jumbo did his best to disguise his disappointment, but it was still evident in his voice. “Come on,” he said, dejectedly. “Unless anyone else has an announcement they’d like to make?”

  No one did and the group got up and followed Jumbo. They walked up the new road that had been cut into the woods, past the downed trees and the red construction dumpster. A bulldozer and an excavator sat at the base of the hill that had been created. Mark knew his family would have not approved of this. What had once been a peaceful meadow in the middle of the woods was now an abomination. He tried not to think of that as they approached the entrance. “What do you think?” asked Jumbo.

  “You guys have come a long way,” said Mark, not daring to tell Jumbo how he really felt.

  “We have two entrances,” said Glick. “Front and back.”

  “That’s a good idea,” said Mark. “I sometimes wish I had a back door.”

  “Why not put one in?” asked Tina. “I’m sure they could dig one for you.”

  “No, I’ll survive with just the one. I’m not worried about it.”

  “Come on,” said Jumbo. “I want to show you the inside. Larry, fire up the generator, will ya?”

  “I can do that.”

  They stepped into a dark stairwell, but a second later the generator hummed to life and the cement walls were illuminated by bright lights. “Wait until you see this place,” said Jumbo. “You’re going to love it.”

  “I’m sure I will.”

  “I can’t wait to use the hot tub,” said Tiffany.

  Jumbo laughed and his voice echoed. “There will be plenty of time for that,” he said, turning to Mark. “This is the patio. We have a basketball hoop and a racquetball court out back. I had them install high intensity lighting out here, but it isn’t on right now. With the flip of a switch, it’s almost as bright as daylight.”

  “What kind of air purification system do you have?”

  Jumbo shrugged his shoulders. “For now, we’re just piping in air from the outside. I know, dude, I’ve got to get someone out here and take care of that.”

  “You should do that right away. I have the number to a guy in town. He was very reasonable and he installed a good system.”

  “I’ll get right on that. You know how it is, it’s always something. What do you think of the patio? This area is going to be a lifesaver.”

  Mark nodded his head in approval. The patio was covered in green carpet and above them the concrete ceiling had been painted sky blue. The prefabricated home was tan and brown and as the others followed, Jumbo led Mark up to the front door. “Very impressive,” said Mark. “You should be proud.”

  “You know what? I am proud. If you want to know how to get things done, ask a busy man. I made this place happen and I’m not ashamed to admit it. This is the main living room. There’s another smaller living room in the back. That’s a sixty inch plasma television and it set me back almost two thousand dollars.”

  “Very nice,” said Mark, meaning it. The inside of the manufactured home was as fine as any he had ever visited. The rooms were large and elegantly decorated. The furniture was all first class, as were the fixtures. They wandered from room to room, pausing here and there for Jumbo to give some background or to drop a price.

  “This is our bedroom,” said Tiffany, taking over the tour. “That’s one of those adjustable beds and let me tell you, I can’t wait to try it out. I wanted mirrors on the ceiling, but Jumbo wouldn’t allow it because of the kids. And take a look at these closets,” she said, pulling open a set of bi-fold doors.

  “Oh my God,” said Anita.

  “Hi neighbors,” said Bones.

  “Surprise,” said Dottie, tearfully.

  “Holy shit,” said Jumbo. “What the hell are you two doing in my closet?”

  “Admiring the view,” said Bones. “What the hell do you think we were doing?”

  Tiffany rushed into the closet, but instead of making a scene, she took Dottie into her arms and gave her a fierce hug. “I was so worried about you,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “They’re not staying,” said Jumbo.

  “I never said we planned to,” said Bones. “We just wanted to see it.”

  Jumbo pointed a finger at Bones. “Jesus Christ
, Bones, you’re in a lot of trouble. You’re looking at a life sentence without parole, do you know that?”

  As Mark held his breath, Bones lied. “I hadn’t heard that. We haven’t heard a thing since we left. Dottie and I have been staying at a friend’s trailer in Forest Lake. They don’t have any power.”

  “Good to see you,” said Larry.

  “Thank God, you two are alright,” said Glick.

  “Forest Lake, huh?” asked Jumbo, turning to look at Mark. “What, did you walk here?”

  “Stop it,” spat Tiffany. “Jumbo, these are our friends and unless you want to start sleeping on the sofa, you’ll shut your damn mouth. If you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone, I’ll divorce you and take you straight to the cleaners. I swear to God, I will.”

  “Tiff, we’re looking at ten years in prison for helping them.”

  “Who gives a shit? We’re not turning our backs on our friends, and that’s final!”

  Mark had never seen Tiffany like this. She put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. Jumbo shook his head and stared at the floor. “Whatever you say, dear,” he said.

  “If you turn them in,” said Larry, “I’ll kill you. That’s a promise.”

  “Not if I kill him first,” said Glick.

  “Whoa,” said Jumbo, raising his hands. “Who said anything about turning them in? I never said I’d do that. How can you even say such a thing?”

  “You had it written all over your face,” said Tiffany. “Don’t try to deny it.”

  “I’m not listening to any more of this bullshit,” grunted Jumbo. “I’m outta here. You people can think whatever the hell you want. And Tiffany, don’t come home for a while. I don’t want to see your face.”

  “Don’t you dare call the police,” she said. “Or I’ll kill you, myself.”

  Jumbo stormed out of the shelter, slamming doors and cursing like a drunken sailor. The bedroom seemed as if all the air had been sucked out of it. “Why don’t we all go out to the living room,” said Glick. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

  “I’m going to go talk to Jumbo,” said Mark. “I’ll try and calm him down. Just for the record, Bones and Dottie have been staying in my shelter. There is no sense now in hiding it. I can see that we’re all on the same page.”

  “Oh my God,” said Anita. “Are you serious?”

  “I’m totally serious,” said Mark.

  “He’s a dear friend,” said Dottie. “And we love him.”

  “Yes he is,” said Bones. “And yes, we do.”

  Mark left the shelter and began to run as soon as he was back up in the sunshine. If Jumbo were going to call the police, he would do it soon. Mark was surprised to find his neighbor standing just inside the woods. He was weeping. Jumbo held his hand up. “Don’t talk to me,” he said.

  “You’re taking this the wrong way,” said Mark. “Nobody really meant what they said. They’re just worried about their friends; that’s all.”

  “I’m going to kill you,” said Jumbo, mocking Larry’s voice. “And you expect me to just turn the other cheek to that? Are you out of your goddamned mind? I’m done with Tiffany. I’m done with all of them. You know what? You’re the closet thing I have in this world to having a friend. How pathetic is that?”

  “I wouldn’t call that pathetic at all. I am your friend, Jumbo. And don’t start making rash decisions. Nothing good ever comes from doing that. Let’s go up to your garage and have a couple of beers. We can hash this out.”

  “You were hiding them, weren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I was.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I didn’t want anyone to know, that’s why. I warned them against leaving the shelter. Look, I didn’t want anyone else involved.”

  “I thought you were in the Marines? I thought you fought in the war? How could you just throw that all aside and help Bones dodge his duty to his country? I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this. I took an oath, too, ya know. I took an oath to uphold the laws and to report those who break them. Who are you to ask me to break that oath? Who are they to ask me to break that oath?”

  “You do whatever the hell you want to do,” said Mark. “I won’t try to stop you.”

  “Yeah, why don’t I believe you?”

  “Because, Jumbo, I gave you my word.”

  Jumbo reached down and plucked his cellphone out of the pocket of his t-shirt. “You sure about that?” he asked.

  “You’ll be the one throwing your life away.”

  “Maybe, but that’s my problem.” Mark ground his teeth as he watched Jumbo poise his finger over the screen of his iPhone. “Let’s see, what’s that number? Nine-one-one?”

  “Go ahead, I’m not afraid.”

  “You’re pissing your pants; who you trying to kid?”

  “How would you like some free dental work?”

  “Oh, you’re a real tough guy.”

  “I am a tough guy. You have no idea how close I am to making Tiffany a widow.”

  Jumbo seemed to consider this. Rat-like, his eyes shifted from side to side. He pressed his finger to the touch screen, but only once. He then returned the phone to his pocket. “You sure don’t know how to take a joke,” he muttered. “Come on. Let’s go have that beer.”

  “Now you’re talking.”

  Jumbo turned and began to laugh in great guffaws. And then suddenly, he stopped. “You really are an idiot,” he said, pointing out to the houses. “Do you really think I’d risk my freedom to raise my children on some friendship? Do you think I’m nuts? I know what they were saying was just empty threats. Tiffany won’t divorce me and Larry and Glick always say crap like that. Did you think I believed them? No, Mark, I’m calling the cops. I’m calling them now.”

  Mark stared stupidly as Jumbo reached for his phone. “I thought you said you were joking?”

  “Yeah, well I lied.”

  Rage hit Mark like a runaway truck and he balled up his right fist. Then, just as Jumbo began to press down on his cellphone, Mark raised his arm and delivered a savage blow to the base of Jumbo’s neck. Mark saw the whites in Jumbo’s eyes as he fell to the ground. “I too can lie,” he muttered.

  Fifteen minutes later, Mark walked back into Jumbo’s shelter. Everyone looked up at him, expectantly. “He called the police, didn’t he?” asked Bones.

  “He better not have,” said Tiffany.

  “He was about to,” said Mark. “I had to stop him.”

  “Oh my God,” said Anita. “You didn’t kill him, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t kill him,” Mark said, tossing Jumbo’s iPhone to Tiffany. “He’ll be fine. I just put him somewhere where he’ll be safe, that’s all.”

  “You locked him in your bunker?” asked Larry.

  Mark nodded. “I figure he needed some time to cool off.”

  Tiffany laughed. “Jumbo doesn’t know how to cool off. This could take years.”

  Mark watched as Tiffany and the others laughed. He could find nothing funny about the situation. He had just committed another felony and Jumbo had been close to being right. Mark felt like he was about to pee in his pants. He had never felt like this.

  “Aren’t you worried that he’ll ransack your place?” asked Glick.

  “No, he’s a little tied up at the moment.”

  More laughter; Mark shuddered at the sound of it. Somehow, they were going to have to figure this thing out. He had no plans on letting the authorities arrest him. If he had to, Mark knew he would vanish into the wilderness and live like his forefathers. But that would be a last resort.

  “You’re not letting him free, tonight,” said Tiffany. “I know him, he’d find a phone and make that call, just out of spite. I’ll tell the kids he was called away to bid on some cars. Jumbo does that all the time, if that’s what he’s really doing. Oh, like I care, anyhow. He can do whatever the hell he wants, just as long as he keeps filling up the checkbook.”

  Mark s
hook his head, not because he agreed that Jumbo needed more time, but because he was sad to learn that Jumbo and Tiffany’s marriage was nothing more than a business arrangement. “He’ll be fine until morning,” he said. “I’ll go check on him, then.”

  Chapter 11

  Mark found that he couldn’t leave Jumbo alone until morning. In fact, Jumbo was alone for barely two hours. Mark went down to check on him and he seemed to have regained his senses. Mark untied Jumbo and the two men sat across from each other in the small living area of the shelter. “I don’t blame you for slugging me,” said Jumbo, rubbing his shoulder. “I had it coming to me.”

  “You were talking crazy. I had to do something.”

  “That was the beer talking. I’m really sorry, man. I swear on my mother’s grave that I won’t call the police on Bones. Scout’s honor, I won’t. And you can ask Tiff about my mom, I would never make that promise if I didn’t intend to keep it.”

  Mark smiled. “Yeah, but were you a Boy Scout?”

  “Nope, can’t say that I was.”

  “I want to trust you, Jumbo. I want to do whatever we can to put things back into order. This is wrong, all of it, and we all have to take some of the blame and move on. The shit could hit the fan any minute. All we’re doing here is wasting valuable time.”

  “I totally agree. Look, Bones and Dottie can stay down here with you. I’ll pretend I never saw them and we can all live happily ever after. We just have to keep them away from the kids. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

  “That sounds like exactly the same plan I was going to propose to you.”

  Jumbo smiled and rubbed his hands together. “I’ve been under a lot of pressure. I must have blown a gasket or somethin’. When I look back on how I acted, I’m just ashamed of myself. I know I can be a jerk, but that was way over the line. Unless you have something else you have to say, I’m going to go try and patch things up with Tiff and the others. Are they still over at my place?”