Into The Deep

by T A. McKay

  “No, you don't. But, he told me that you’d come in at around this time and order a caramel mocha.” What? Who told her this? I’m so confused right now.

  “I’m sorry. I don't understand. Who told you this? And, why did he tell you this?” I feel my eyebrows furrowing and a frown forming over my mouth.

  “I don't know who he is. All he said was that you would come in to get a coffee at around this time. He’s already paid for it and told me to make sure you got it.” She pushes my coffee even closer to me. I’m pretty sure she just wants me to grab the cup, stop asking her questions and leave.

  “Ok, so let me get this straight. A guy came in and bought me a coffee when I wasn't even here? Well, what did he look like? Did he give you a name?” I’m sure that I’m going to get a headache from trying to understand all of this. Why would someone come in and buy me a coffee? And, why not be here to buy me it for himself? Also, how did they even know that I would be here? I know I come here every day, but knowing that someone knows my daily routine is really starting to freak me out. There are so many question’s that I need answers for.

  “I don't know what he looked like. It was Sarah on the other shift that took the message. See.” She picks up a piece of paper from behind the counter and holds it up to me. There it is in black and white. A note telling her that at 1.15pm, a brunette would come in to order a caramel mocha, her name is Makenzie and the drink has already been paid for.

  “Oh, okay. Well, em … thanks … I think.” I would usually be more worried about accepting the coffee, but I watched her make it myself. I take it from the counter top and then leave.

  I make my way over to the park, deciding to sit down for a little while and watch the world pass by. This part of the day has also become a part of my daily routine. I love to just sit and think, or rather, not think.

  The weather has cooled slightly over the past week, so it feels much more comfortable to be outside. Last week I wasn't able to sit out much longer than thirty minutes before the heat became far too much for me to bear. I stay here for well over an hour, thinking about everything and trying to gather my thoughts. Who on earth went out of their way to buy me a coffee? I think about my date with Josh, and of course, Rocco. I always think about Rocco. Damn the man.

  The rest of the week passed by and I followed my usual routine. Rocco hadn't shown up for practice for the entire week, and every time I went to grab a coffee from the coffee shop, there was a caramel mocha with whipped cream waiting for me, at the same time every day. I’d spent so much time wondering about who was buying them for me that I even asked Josh, even though I knew it wasn’t him. Then I think, maybe its Rocco. But I think that's more wishful thinking than anything. I begin to wonder when I’ll actually find out who has been buying them for me. It must be someone who knows me and it really shouldn’t be too hard to figure out, I have a very limited list of friends around here, after all. I feel confident that I’ll find out who it is eventually. I mean, is there really any point in buying them for me if they have no intention on me finding out who they are? The other thing that stayed constant the entire week, was that but trying not to think about Rocco automatically made me think of him. Between the coffee thing and him not turning up to his swimming he has been on my mind the entire week.

  Tonight is my date with Josh. He messaged me earlier and told me that we’re going to be dining in a local Chinese restaurant, which he swears serves the best food that I will ever try in my life. Considering I’m such a huge fan of Chinese food, I’m feeling even more excited about my date with him.

  I decided to wear my favourite maxi dress with some flat sandals. I want to feel comfortable and since Josh isn't overly tall, I really don't need to wear heels and make myself even taller. I’ve kept my makeup to a minimum again, opting for my usual mascara and lip gloss and chose to leave my hair down, only pinning it up on one side with a flower clip which perfectly matches the flowers on my dress.

  I hear a knock on the front door. That must be him now. I take one last glance at myself in the mirror, spray some perfume quickly, grab my shawl and then make my way over to greet him. When I open up the door, I see Josh standing on the other side and holding a rather large bouquet of flowers in his hands as he flashes me a smile.

  “Wow, Makenzie! You look … just … wow!” he says, which makes me blush a little from the compliment.

  “Thanks, and so do you. You look very handsome tonight, Josh.” And he really does. His blonde hair is brushed back and away from his face, showing the definition of his cheekbones more than usual. I’m used to seeing him after his swimming training and it’s usually falling down over his eyes.

  He’s wearing black trousers, accompanied with a white short sleeved buttoned up shirt. I keep waiting for the butterflies to start flying around my stomach, but they never arrive. I'm sure that once we’re out I’ll start to feel at least something. Yes. Once we talk some more and I’m more relaxed I’m sure I’ll feel it then. I accept the flowers from him and place them on the table that’s just on the inside of the door, making a mental note to put them in some water when I arrive home later.

  “They’re really beautiful, Josh. Thank you so much, but you really didn't need to bring me anything.”

  “Oh, shush. I wanted to at least get my beautiful date some flowers.” He flashes me the most amazing smile and offers his elbow over in my direction, allowing me to take it.

  Still no butterflies.

  Chapter Seven

  When we arrive at the restaurant we’re seated at a table that’s in one of the corners where it’s quieter. It’s a beautiful place and not what I‘d been expecting at all. They have stunning Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling and there’s Chinese symbols printed all over the walls. It isn't quite the romantic place that I thought Josh might have taken me to for our first date together. At least I’m thinking of this as our first date, that has to be a good sign? I must like him more than I’d originally thought. We’re handed our menus when the waitress comes over to take our drinks order. I decide to order myself an iced tea and since we’d walked here, Josh orders himself a beer.

  “So, tell me, what dish would you recommend?” I ask Josh as I browse over the menu while trying to decide on what to have to eat. I think it may have the most choices I have ever seen on one menu before.

  “It’s all really great. How about we get a banquet menu to share? That way we know there’ll be something that we both like and you can try a few different things at the same time?”

  “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll warn you now, though, when it comes to Chinese food, I can eat my entire body weights worth.” I laugh lightly with a smile, feeling very comfortable in his company.

  “I highly doubt that with your figure! Though, I guess I’ll take my chances.” He throws me a wink, along with a huge smile, one which makes the dimples in his cheeks stand out a lot more. The look he’s giving me makes him look even more attractive, but I still can't help but notice the fact that he isn't making my body light up in the same way that …no. No. I refuse to allow my mind to wander there right now, especially while I’m on a date. It’s not only unfair on me, it’s also not fair on Josh. The waitress comes back over to take our food order, and then she leaves us to chat while we wait for our food to arrive.

  “So, what brings you to this town of all places, Makenzie? Most people I know can't wait to leave.”

  “I just needed a change of scenery, that’s all. You know what they say, a change is as good as a holiday.” It doesn’t escape my notice that I'm not entirely forthcoming with the real reason why I moved here. I’ve nothing to hide, but I feel the excuse I just used flowed from my mouth with such a great ease. It’s strange because I had no problem sharing my crappy past with Rocco the other day.

  “And your change led you here? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining that you moved here, it just seems a bit strange that you’d move somewhere where you don’t know anyone.” He shrugs his s
houlders once and gives me another smile. I really do think that I can trust him enough to be able to share my life stories with him, just not this one. I’m about to answer his question with another vague answer but I’m interrupted when the waitress brings our food over to the table. There’s a huge variety of food and the serving dishes just keep coming and coming. I begin to laugh, and my laughter only becomes louder as more dishes are set out in front of us.

  “Well, you did say you could eat a lot, didn’t you?” Josh is trying to keep a straight face while the food just keeps piling up, taking up every available inch on the table.

  “Yes … thankfully.” I giggle back at him.

  Josh was absolutely right; the food here really is amazing. I’ve tried so many new things and I now feel as though I’m ready to explode. I had a great time trying a little bit of everything. I fed Josh some of the food from the dishes on my side of the table and he fed me some from over on his. It should have felt quite intimate, feeding each other, but there just didn’t seem to be anything there.

  He feels like a friend to me. Nothing more. Maybe I’m being unfair towards Josh, but I’m honestly trying to relax and just go along with the date. I still think that maybe this could possibly go somewhere, but only if I can erase the attraction I feel towards Rocco from my mind. Butterflies whizzing around your stomach from the sight or touch of someone you find attractive aren't always needed, are they? I try to clean myself of with my napkin, though I feel like I’m only managing to make a bigger mess of myself. I have literally managed to get sticky sauce everywhere.

  “I’m going to the bathroom to clean my hands off … and maybe my face too. I’m sure that I have sauce all over my face.” I stand and say to Josh, who is currently trying to wipe the mark off of his tie.

  “Oh, what? Did you get yourself covered in sweet and sour sauce? No, wait. That would be me!” I begin to laugh at his comment, I just can't help it. We both know that it was me who’d gotten the sauce on his tie. I was trying to encourage him to try one of the sticky prawns but my aim was, well, let’s just say that it wasn't exactly great.

  The prawn slipped through my fingers, leaving a sticky trail down his chin, down his tie, and then finally ended up resting in his lap. The look he’d given me had been priceless, but I did the polite thing and offered to get it for him. The blush that crossed over his cheeks when I did made me feel bad for teasing him.

  “And did I drop food down myself? No. Again that would have been you!” He says through laughter. I walk by him with a smile, and as I walk away, I can hear his deep sexy laugh following me through the air.

  The toilets are very clean and they’re decorated beautifully. They’re covered with orchids, which make them smell amazing. I make a mental note to find a florist and get more fresh flowers. I really do love the smell of fresh flowers. I could add them to the bouquet Josh gave to me.

  As I leave the toilet and start making my way back down the hall, I only manage to reach about half way along when I feel some hands grabbing at me from behind, one covering my mouth while the other is gripping tightly around my waist. I am pulled into a dark side room and I’m begin to panic but then something happens… I feel a flurry of butterflies flying through my stomach. My body seems to know who it is before my mind can wrap itself around what’s happening. It’s Rocco. It can only be him.

  In the next instant, I’m turned around until my back is pressing hard up against the wall and I find myself being pinned there by a large, hard body. He removes his from my mouth and I gasp a sharp breath. My pulse has begun to race and I need to try and calm myself down.

  “Rocco? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I’m thankful that I’m able to keep my voice sounding strong and even. There’s no evidence of the turmoil that’s taking over my insides.

  “How did you know it was me? And, more to the point, what are you doing here with him?” I swear I can hear a growl behind his words. I choose to ignore the first part of his question. I’m not going to openly admit to him the reaction my body has whenever he’s close to me, especially when it’s clear he doesn't want me in the same way.

  “I’m here on a date. Not that it’s really any of your business.”

  “Why him?” Is he being serious? I mean, what the hell? How dare he think that just because he doesn't want me that I’m not good enough for his friends as well.

  “Why him? It’s him because he asked me, Rocco, and because he’s a really nice guy.” I can hear the anger building in my voice the more I speak. Good. Where does he get off treating me like this?

  “I know he's a good guy, but I don’t understand why you’re with him.” His voice becomes a little quieter and he takes another breath.

  “Rocco, you’re making no sense whatsoever. I’m here on a date, so will you please let go of me so I can get back to him?”

  “No.” Okay, I think I might actually start screaming soon, and I probably would have already if I wasn't making the most of the way Rocco's body is pressed up firmly against mine. The body contact I have with him now may never happen again, so I want to make the most of it and remember this moment.

  “No? Oh my god, Rocco! What is wrong with you? I’m getting whiplash from all of your different mood swings. I get it, alright? You don't want me, so you think I’m not good enough for your friends either. Well, you’ll just have to get over it because I happen to like Josh, and I think that he likes me too.” I feel tears brimming in my eyes and try hard not to blink so they won't fall. The last thing I want to do is cry. He doesn't need to know how much he’s hurting me.

  “Is that honestly what you think, Makenzie? You seriously think that I don't want you?”

  “What the hell am I supposed to think? You invited me out for the night but the experience of dancing with me made you run away, and not only run, you disappeared for a week! You didn't even go to your training! You really must have been embarrassed about dancing with me if you felt you needed to leave your life because of it!” The frustration I’m feeling becomes evident in my voice and it takes a lot of control not to shout the words at him.

  “Makenzie.’’ That’s the only word I hear before his lips crash onto mine. I freeze in place, losing all thought from my mind apart from the words ‘Oh my god’.

  His lips are gentle at first and he moves his tongue across my top lip, making my pulse race and my breath catch in my throat. My lips part and I’m trying really hard to breathe. He uses this opportunity and tentatively slides his tongue into my mouth. He tastes of liquor and all I want to do is suck his tongue. A moan escapes from my mouth when his tongue meets with mine. It’s the only permission he needs to deepen the kiss. He presses his mouth harder against mine and I feel his tongue reaching depths of my mouth that I don't think anyone has ever reached before.

  He grinds his hips hard up against me, pushing me even harder against the wall. I can feel the evidence that the kiss is turning him on just as much as it is me. His arousal is rubbing me in such an amazing way that I can already feel my panties getting wet.

  I slide my hands over his biceps and can feel how tight his muscles are as he continues to grip my body close to his. My hands make their way into his hair, where I take handfuls in-between my fingers and pull him even closer to me. I don’t feel as though I could ever be close enough to him. His mouth is making love to mine, and I begin to move my hips in time with his tongue. I hook a leg up high around his hip, making my dress ride up my thigh. He skims his hand over the bare flesh of my inner thigh, sending a burning sensation to filter through my whole body.

  I still can't believe how amazing it feels when he touches me. It feels like I’ve waited my entire life to be touched in this way. I’m not a virgin, far from it, but I honestly can’t remember ever feeling this way before.

  His hand moves higher, which in turn takes my dress higher and the moan I’ve been holding finally escapes into his mouth. With that, Rocco breaks the kiss. He places his forehead against mine gently and lowers my le
g away from his waist. The only noise between us now is the sound of our breathing as we both gasp for breaths.

  “Makenzie, I’m sorry.” A look of remorse crosses into his eyes as he takes a step away from me.

  “No! Don't you dare do this again! You don't get to do that, say that you’re sorry and then just fucking disappear!” I look him straight in the eye, and feel myself pleading with him to not run away from me again.

  When did I become the type of woman to beg a man?

  “I can't do this … I shouldn't have kissed you, I’m sorry,” I take a small step forward and place my forehead lightly onto his chest, trying to swallow back the tears I can feel brewing. I’m almost reaching breaking point. I don't understand. “You’ll find yourself someone who’ll be a lot better for you than I ever can be, Mackenzie.” He says, with sadness now lacing his voice.

  “I’m a big girl, Rocco, I know what I want and I think that it’s up to me to decide what I want in my life.” I mumble into his chest, scared what I’ll see if I look into his eyes. I feel him placing a soft kiss into my hair as he eases me away from him. When I’m able to hold body upright on my own legs again, he backs away and then walks towards the doorway that leads back into the dining room.

  “You look beautiful tonight, Makenzie, Josh is a very lucky man.” As he mentions Josh’s name, I notice his face flinching slightly. He turns back away and continues down the hall, but just as he’s halfway through the door, he turns back to me and a small smile etches over the corner of his lips.

  “I hope you enjoyed your coffee this week.” With his parting comment, he walks completely through the door and out from my view.

  Well, I’ll be damned.

  I return to the table and see Josh looking at me with a worried expression over his face. I must obviously look as bad as I’m feeling.