Something Deeper

by Shara Azod

  Damn it. I can’t believe Lee went there.

  “Well, I’m sure it was tamer than the handle you used,” Sky retorted, rolling her shoulders back and standing straight as if her feathers weren’t ruffled.

  Lee laughed, snorting a bit.

  “God, if you could only see the look on your face.”

  Having her fill of Lee for the next couple of days, Sky reached down, opened her desk, and removed her purse. Lifting it with the teacher bag onto her shoulder, Sky actively shut down her computer, not listening to Lee’s half-hearted pleas for forgiveness. With her keys clutched in her hand, Sky headed to door.

  “Oh, oh, God. Whew! Sorry, sorry,” Lee said at last, wiping her eyes, and holding her sides. “No, seriously, Sky. This guy, Cashmere, wanted your last name, where you lived, and all that juicy information.”

  “Cashmere?”

  No, he wouldn’t. What man in his right mind would still be interested in a woman who gave him blue balls and teased him to the point of torture?

  Surely some young thang would be more than ready to erase her from his memory. Take his attention, his heart, and his love. Wasn’t Dante available?

  “Yeah,” Lee frowned a bit. “I asked Dante about him, because if he wanted your address, she had to give up some information on him. For starters, his real name- Dante laughed and said that was his real name.”

  “Liberal parents,” Sky said without thinking, her mind remembering him, his smooth style, his handsome face, and his killer body—one worthy of being toyed around with.

  “Riiiight,” Lee said, meeting Sky at the door.

  “Where are you going?” Sky asked, pulling her attention back to the classroom and away from the disaster in Cashmere’s room.

  “You’re all packed up to go, so I figure I ought to leave, too.”

  “Oh, no you don’t, Lee!” Sky said, turning her teacher voice on. “Get back here and tell me the rest!”

  Unlike her students, Lee only laughed as she skipped through the classroom door.

  “I’ll leave you with this, chica,” Lee said, sobering up as the cold gusts of wind slipped into the stuffy room. “There’s a thin line between coincidence and Fate, girlfriend.”

  And she was gone.

  Running down the ramp and making a beeline for the parking lot.

  Leaving Sky frustrated and unsure.

  Could that be how Cashmere felt?

  What difference does it make now? He’s moved on with his life.

  Her inner voice, one buried deep within and often spoke the painful truth retorted, Then why did he ask Dante about me?

  Maybe he wants to send me a wedding invitation.

  “Sure, that’s what I want,” Sky said with a sullen sigh, exiting her classroom door and locking it tight. “A cute, polished reminder of what I missed out on. A wedding invitation.”

  It wasn’t like she didn’t know what delicious games Cashmere would’ve played with her had she but stayed. If he didn’t want Dante to join, that is.

  Shuddering, Sky fought to repress the picture.

  She’d replayed that night with Cashmere a gazillion times without Dante, and each time she decided she’d do it differently. No longer inhibited, scared, or ruled by her ideals, the Sky in her fantasies engaged him without hesitation or care about him being with Dante or anyone else.

  Nope. If she had it to do again, she’d allow herself to fall into Cashmere’s arms and to not think until the boiling sweat on their bodies was drying in the hotel room’s hushed air conditioning. To leave her jealousy and insecurities at the door’s entranceway. He didn’t belong to her.

  Perhaps that was the biggest hurdle to leap over. He didn’t belong to her. No, he didn’t belong to her and he was a kid. At the least he was nineteen years younger.

  And yet, her thoughts reflected back to his nude back, his muscles rippling as he moved about the hotel room, picking up the wine bottle so that she didn’t see the disappointment in his eyes. Oh, she knew it.

  Too bad life doesn’t allow a quick rewind.

  Mirroring her mood, icy cold gloomy gusts of wind continued to crowd the heavens. Sky made her way to her compact car, noticing how many of her colleagues had already deserted the school for a weekend of winter fun with their families and friends.

  Knock it off, girl. Two days of Sky time is coming up, and you need to enjoy it, not sulk in an ominous daze and a pond of self loathing.

  Pushing through the cheerless thoughts, Sky started her car and made a left onto Coors Boulevard, toward home in west Albuquerque.

  Maybe she would go to the fair after all.

  Chapter 7

  Throughout the ride home, Sky kept thinking. What had been his intentions in asking Dante about her? What had he hoped to do with the information if Lee had given it to Dante and she passed it on to him? Write to her?

  And say what?

  He was too young to be above being vindictive. But why wait all these months? The nagging question was why now? Why, after months of silence, had Cashmere, if Dante could be trusted, want to contact her? She thought while she nestled on the couch with the book she’d been looking forward to reading.

  Hard knocks announced a visitor. Sky placed her novel down beside her on the sofa and placed Moby onto the floor. He meowed at her with fury before darting off to the bedroom.

  Sky hesitated. Who could it be? Nearly five o’clock and overcast, she wasn’t expecting anyone. Her weekends belonged to her. Many of her friends were married with families with the exception of Lee, who was now sliding down the slopes at Angelfire with her hunky chunk of masculinity.

  “Who’s there?” she called, stepping over the cat toys littering the hardwood floor. She stopped at the door and listened.

  “Aztec Florists. Delivery,” a male called.

  She unlocked the door, confused despite the declaration.

  Why would a florist be at her house? Probably looking for 814 instead of 812. The homes all resembled each other so it was easy to get them confused. The joys of modern tract housing.

  “Delivery for Miss Sky Parker,” the young man said, grim and grouchy.

  “That’s me.”

  Once she opened the screen door, he thrust the big bouquet into her hands, the vase nearly slipping from her grasp, and was nearly down the walkway before she even fished out the card. The floral arrangement was immaculate; filled with brightly colored tulips, daisies, and a few scattered roses. It smelled heavenly and she closed the door with a full blown smile on her face.

  “How nice,” she said, locking the door with her free hand. “Someone sent us flowers.”

  She walked into the kitchen and placed the ivory glass vase down on the island. With a shaky hand, she lifted the card from its tiny white envelope. Her stomach prickled with nervousness.

  “Thinking of you all day, all night, and wishing to kiss your lips once more…C.”

  “C,” she scoffed and glanced at Moby. “Who the heck is C?”

  But even as she posed the question, her heart spoke up at once.

  Cashmere.

  “Ridiculous,” she laughed, but stop abruptly.

  He wouldn’t dare. Would he?

  Lee said Dante had contacted her seeking information about her. Dante knew Cashmere as her little tantrum at his hotel room proved. Was she looking for him? Why would his lover help him find another woman? It didn’t make any sense.

  “It’s all a bunch of nonsense. Some cruel joke that childish bitch Dante’s playing,” she said, harshly snatching the pretty flowers’ vase and without another word, dropped it into the trash can.

  She stalked back into the living room, took up her seat at the sofa’s end and dove into her novel in earnest. Serves Dante right. Playing around with her emotions.

  But why would she after two months? Dante didn’t seem to be the kind of person who languished and longed for one guy. Had she lost Cashmere, she would’ve moved on to someone else carrying a fat cock and a nice line.

  “S
o, why would she bother sending me flowers?” Sky asked, Moby who meowed in earnest. “Unless she didn’t.”

  After she read the same lines several times in her novel, Sky gave up and picked up her telephone from the end table. She didn’t get Lee, and she hadn’t really expected to, but she left a message.

  “Lee, it’s me, Sky. Listen, can you give me a call when you get a chance; about the whole Dante thing. Thanks.”

  *****

  Yet Saturday bled into Sunday and as day broke on Monday morning, Lee hadn’t returned her call. Strange as it was, Lee’s pattern for returning calls fell under “law.” Her B.F.F never missed returning calls. Period.

  There’s a first time for everything.

  During her prep, Sky tracked down Lee in the teachers’ lounge.

  Lee reclined in one of the chairs, chewing on doughnuts and cookies in an alternate fashion. The high sugar intake meant Lee had been out way too late the night before.

  When she saw Sky, she swallowed the mouthful of sweets and coughed out, “Oh hey!”

  “Any reason you didn’t return my call?” Sky asked, sitting down without pausing as she slipped into the chair across from her. “I’m sure you were busy. But don’t mind me. I’ll be sitting by the telephone all weekend…”

  “Listen, I got your message,” she said with a shrug. “But after your little comments Friday, I figured you could stew a bit.”

  Sky felt her cheeks grow warm. Yep. She so deserved that.

  “I got flowers delivered to me Friday afternoon,” she said, letting her anger at being snubbed go. “From someone labeled as “C”. Any idea who that could be, Leah? How would anyone get my home address?”

  “Oh, ho, we’re using my real name,” Lee said snickering. “Conjuring my momma, are we? You must be very serious.”

  “I’m serious, Lee. We don’t know these people. They could be thieves, murderers, or God knows what.”

  “True,” Lee said. “That why the flowers came to my house first, and I forwarded them on to you once I cleared them of bombs, booby traps, and worms.”

  “You what?” Sky scoffed, bolting upright in seat.

  Lee shuffled in her chair uncomfortably, and avoided Sky’s eyes.

  “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me giving out your address and personal info. But I didn’t want you to miss out on something good, so I gave her my addy to see if it was legitimate. It seems Cashmere is hung up on you something fierce.”

  “Cashmere?”

  “Yeah, according to Dante, you gave the youngster a head full of lust for you,” Lee said soberly, finally meeting Sky’s eyes. “He’s been searching you out, Caramel, and he won’t be told no.”

  “You’ve talked to him?” Sky asked, peering at Lee with mounting horror.

  “Only through email and a few online chats,” she held up her hand to stop Sky’s questions before they started. “And before you chew out me, he knew I wasn’t you.”

  Thank goodness, she didn’t pretend to be me.

  That was only one relief. This news from Lee wrought a bunch more.

  “W—what did he say?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper slipping through her rapidly closing throat.

  Lee can’t be serious. I mean, Cashmere sent me those flowers currently deodorizing my garbage can. Why? It’s been months. She’s been talking to him via email and online chatting? What gives?

  “Well, he said he’s been looking for you. I told him to bug off as I heard he had his hands filled with lovers since he was a regular at freak parties.”

  Lee shrugged with the roll of her eyes.

  “He argued that he hadn’t been to a freak party since that one in Vegas. Naturally I didn’t buy it and asked Dante. She confirmed.”

  None since the one in Vegas.

  “…because of you. He said he wanted you, needed you, and had quite the crush on you. Crush is my word, not his.”

  “And you bought his line of crap?” Sky scoffed.

  “I didn’t believe him either, but the more I read, the more I realized something,” Lee said, her normally smiling face falling into calm, serious peace. “He is crazy about you. I have no earthly clue why, but you should talk to him, Sky.”

  “I’ll do no such thing,” she snapped before she could even think about it. The thought of him with Dante came rushing to her mind, flooding all logic and possible arguments to the contrary. His head buried between her thighs, those same kissable lips pressing against Dante’s glistening puss, made her stomach churn in disgust.

  “I kissed him, Lee. Those same thin lips that were on Dante!”

  “Don’t be a prude,” Lee laughed. “If that’s your only hang up, maybe you should talk to Cashmere about what happened between him and Dante first. And when you do, remember something. It was a freak party.”

  “That doesn’t excuse his behavior,” Sky argued, feeling foolish at the expression on Lee’s face. Her cheeks felt flushed and suddenly hot, Sky fanned herself with her hand.

  “It doesn’t?” Lee scooted up in her seat and leaned onto the table. “You’re not making any sense. He wasn’t your boyfriend, or anyone’s until you met him. And from what I hear, you left him, riding off on your high horse, tossing back accusations about him having a black woman fetish.”

  Sky gasped as if Lee had smacked her. The wave of truth unyielding as it collided with her staunch pride.

  “So why the hang up on him and Dante?”

  Sky heard Lee’s argument and knew her friend spoke the truth.

  It was a logically sound argument. She slumped back into her chair and thought about why it bothered her so much. Dante had tasted Cashmere and vice versa. He hadn’t been anyone of importance to her, until, until she decided to go to his hotel room. At that moment, she had claimed him as hers, as ridiculous as that unconscious move was. She knew he’d done something with Dante because they left the party together. Sky had witnessed Cashmere calling her name as she exited the freak party, and still when it was shoved in her face, hearing Dante call him lover and discuss his being with her unnerved her.

  The answer lay directly beneath her blouse, riding along the surface of her still damaged heart. Ted was the hammer that shattered her heart. Some men use their fists to beat a woman into submission. Ted used his mouth. His tongue lashings were so severe, Sky had lost four dress sizes in two months from not eating. Her mother had intervened and got her to leave him at last, solely by showing Sky pictures of her failing health. She didn’t even realize it at the time, so strong was Ted’s power over her view of herself.

  Fat bitch. Save some food for the rest of us. God, why would I want to touch your fat lard ass? Ted taunted in her head. He slept with dozens of women, she discovered over the years, all young things, pretty, thin, and well, more than ten years younger.

  Yes, Ted had scarred her greatly, telling her for the last two years about how unattractive she was; fat and lumpy like the doughboy. So often in fact Sky had stopped eating. Even now, eating was difficult for her, but Lee kept her on track. Especially when they were at school in the teacher’s lounge. Currently at a decent weight, some three years after her official divorce, Sky knew it was this that bothered her most about Cashmere and Dante.

  That night, naked before someone as attractive as Cashmere, she panicked when she heard Dante, a young woman, was going to take something she had. Though she knew Cashmere wasn’t Ted, the terror struck her like a knife the moment she heard Dante call him lover.

  Lover. Her boy toy was someone else’s lover.

  The single, solitary word forced her to the point of tears of frustration. Here she was again, being shunted to the side for a younger, more attractive woman.

  And the panic made her freeze all thoughts about him.

  Now, in the heated light of a new day, regret haunted her. The fact was plain. She’d let memories of Ted into her new life, violating her sense of person, and allowed him to dismantle her self esteem. She thought she was beyond his reach, beyond his terrorizin
g methods, but now, she wasn’t so sure.

  “You think I’m an idiot,” she said to Lee.

  “I think you’re overly cautious sometimes,” Lee said in a hushed tone. She patted Sky’s arm. “I say talk to him, get to know him, and see for yourself if he ain’t just some damn boy toy, or something more. But I’ll tell you this, boy toys don’t seek out one person. They’re available for everyone. Commitment ain’t their cup of tea.”

  Sky swallowed the emotional lump in her throat. Take away the toy, fine, but he’s still a boy.