Deserted

by L. M. McCleary

  “Good morning to you too, Ponika.” I laughed at him, inhaling a dust cloud as I did so. “I don’t know why you didn’t stay in the tent with me; this heat must be driving you nuts!” I coughed as I hugged him tightly.

  I stayed with Ponika for a while, patting his neck and hugging him often. I casually untangled a few knots in his mane as I thought on Kay’s words. I couldn’t possibly be mistaken, could I? After all my time in the desert, could I have forgotten his face? The name was the same, though...that can’t just be coincidence. I was so sure it was him last night, but…what if I am wrong? What if something…happened to me?

  “It is him, right boy?” I nuzzled into Ponika’s neck as he whinnied in response. “Yeah, you would know him anywhere too, wouldn’t you? I know you two spent time together when I would sleep in; you can’t fool me.” I teased Ponika and I smiled at the memory; I’m sure Kay would have been a great rider if he had had the chance. “You tried to convince him too, didn’t you...” I stared listlessly at the faded green of the medical tent, slowly patting Ponika’s back. If something happened to him…would I really be able to bring him back to his senses? I had shut my eyes tightly as I thought on what it meant if I couldn’t. “We’ll get him back, together, won’t we Ponika?” I turned to face my horse but he seemed to ignore me, which only furthered my doubt. What if all of this was for naught?

  I patted Ponika’s back one last time and started walking towards the homes of the Outpost, exhaling deeply from the unrelenting heat. I had scanned the distance for Kay but the figures that wandered about were difficult to make out until I was almost on top of them. I had started to walk past a small hut when I heard his familiar voice nearby, oozing in disingenuous sweetness. I turned quickly, looking for him and found him leaning against a home, chatting rather closely to a young woman who appeared to be completely charmed by his words. The sight bothered me in more ways than I’d like to admit.

  “Kay!” I had called out to him as I wandered closer. He looked up at me sharply and instantly changed his demeanor as I approached, waving off the woman in a sudden disinterest. She glowered at the both of us and sauntered off as Kay met up with me.

  “Good morning.” A charming smile; one he had been using quite often with the young lady only moments before.

  I groaned. “I thought you were hooking me up with a meeting today?”

  “I am…and I did.” He suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist and urged me forward, down a row of tents and huts. “Let’s go, shall we?” As much as I missed his touch, it didn’t feel right anymore; he felt like a stranger in a friend’s body. I withdrew from him and he shrugged amicably. “I’m sorry about your thing by the way; we don’t really want it inside the tent and munching on things, you know; it might cause a mess.”

  It took me a moment to realize what he meant. “You mean Ponika, my horse?”

  “Whatever you call it, it stays outside.”

  “…you really think my horse is stupid enough to wander inside a tent and eat needles and gauze?” I gazed blankly at him.

  “Well it looks the part.”

  “Excuse me?” I stopped immediately and glowered at him.

  Kay eventually stopped and turned to look at me. “Woah, calm down,” he laughed when he saw my expression, “I don’t mean anything by it. Don’t worry about it; we have a meeting to get to.”

  “A meeting that you never came to get me for.” I replied angrily as I followed him again.

  “I was letting you get your sleep; there isn’t really a set time for it.”

  We walked in silence as I did what I could to calm my inner rage. Multiple rows of tents and houses went past us, all of them looking the exact same as the last. They were incredibly small; I suppose an Outpost isn’t exactly a family joint, from the looks of things. I casually watched the homes tick by, moving every so often to avoid the crowds of people that seemed to pop up out of nowhere in the blazing heat. Kay often nodded and smiled towards the groups as though he knew most of the townspeople. It was only when I realized that the young women were the only ones who smiled back that I became more irritated; since when was he a womanizer? I had never known a flirtatious bone in his body until this Outpost.

  I sighed more in defeat than anything else. “…you still don’t know who I am, do you?” My words were colder than I had realized and I walked with a stiff gait.

  “Are we really going to go through this again?” He rolled his eyes and I scowled fiercely.

  “Just answer the question: yes or no.” I was not in the mood for nonsense.

  “No, I don’t.” He didn’t even hesitate.

  “Then maybe you need a reminder; something to jar the memories forth.”

  “There are none…” He mumbled to himself.

  I cleared my throat as I tried to suppress my anger. “We grew up together.”

  He scoffed. “Yeah; me, you, and a million other women.”

  “What?” I slowed my pace.

  “No offense hun but you’re not the first to come to me with claims of my past. Did you know I’m apparently married to three different women around here? Why is it always women who seem to know everything?” He threw his hands up in the air and shrugged.

  Ugh. “What do I have to gain from telling you this?”

  “My trust.” His reply was immediate. “Sorry sweetheart but I’d need more proof than some wild claims from a strange woman.”

  “Why, exactly, do I need your trust? How would that benefit me?”

  “Heh,” he shook his head, “you’re clearly still new here. You’ll find out soon enough that I have a few connections. The Pirates didn’t bring you to me randomly, you know; they trust me with a lot of their affairs.”

  “Affairs that require them completely ignoring you, huh?” I remembered his words from last night. “Asking you to tend to the wounded isn’t exactly a prestigious job that no one else could do.” I saw his face contort in irritation; oddly enough, the sight gave me a brief sense of satisfaction. “I’m pretty sure anyone could pick up a glass of water.” I regretted the words as soon as I said them. He may be cocky, sure, but he still cared for me when he really had no reason to; I owed my life to the Pirates and in turn, Kay as well.

  “You’re pretty ungrateful.” His words dripped with vitriol. At least that seemed to stay the same; you could always tell when Kay was thoroughly upset.

  “Yeah…that was pretty rude of me, wasn’t it?” I stayed back and cast my glance upon the ground, feeling my face burn hot in embarrassment. “I’m sorry; that was uncalled for.”

  “Whatever.” He grumbled.

  Well…this wasn’t exactly the conversation or tone I had expected to have when I found Kay again. I wasn’t exactly giving him much reason to try to remember me at the moment, either. But I felt so irritated in his presence…what happened to us? “…we grew up in a small town.” I started slowly, “…a town in the shadow of a cliff face. You grew up with Ponika and I. He remembers you just as clearly as I do.”

  “Ponika, huh.” He replied quietly. “Where did you find such a thing, anyway?”

  “Our Provider gave him to my father…or so I assume.” Kay stared back at me blankly. “I…don’t really know anything about the Provider. It could be a man, woman, or even a group of people. We would meet with a Mediator who brings the Provider’s gifts to us; you and I went to a meeting with them once.”

  “Mediator? Man, I have no idea what you’re talking about. We don’t have that kinda stuff out here. The Pirates are the only ones who bring stuff by. They can apparently travel quite fast through the sandstorms and they often come by here to drop off their supplies; this is their base of operations. It’s not their home, but it is their base.” Kay suddenly pointed to the sandstorm in the distance. “See that? It never goes away. I think the pirates conjured it up somehow. It’s supposed to keep people out and keep us all safe.”

  “A permanent sandstorm…? How do people leave, then? They’d get lost in a storm that larg
e!”

  “Leave? Why would we leave? The Pirates can lead us out if necessary but I don’t know why anyone would bother.”

  Could this place be the reason he’s changed? Would it do the same to me? My heart sank at the thought. “Well I, for one, don’t plan on leaving either. I’ve found what I’m looking for and I’m not leaving until you remember.”

  Kay smiled. “Staying, huh? Well I definitely wouldn’t mind another pretty face around here.”

  I groaned inwardly at his attempts to enchant me, especially after the row we just had. Who does that? Even the boys back home, who tried desperately to get a woman’s attention, would probably move on after an altercation like that. This wasn’t the Kay I knew but I wasn’t giving up; he had to still be in there somewhere.

  We finally stopped outside of a large tent in the middle of a row of huts. “This is it,” Kay gestured towards it and looked at me expectantly. I inhaled deeply as I thought about what, and who, could possibly be waiting for me inside. “…Ladies first,” he continued.

  “Right.” I clasped my hands onto my jeans to steady them as I made my way inside the tent.

  While it appeared rather large from the outside, it was quite small on the inside as the place was packed with boxes and fabrics in every corner. There was a small table in the middle of the room with a bunch of papers stacked unevenly atop it and two small stools sat near it. An unlit lantern sat firmly atop the stray papers, keeping them in place from the occasional gust that made its way in and ruffled the various fabrics. I stared at the papers intently; how did they get such a large quantity of such a rare item? A large man sat on the opposite stool, absorbed in the sheet in his hand until Kay followed inside after me. The sound of our footsteps made him glance up from his work and grin at us.

  “…d-dad…” I murmured it to myself so quietly that neither man heard me speak. It had been so long; I played this moment out in my head a million times and yet it still felt so surreal. This was finally happening; I had finally found my father.

  Kay shook my dad’s hand and clapped him on the shoulder, smiling as old friends do. Chester returned the look and then turned his attention towards me. He tried to stand to greet me but he was too tall for the tent to properly accommodate him, leaving him hunched over in greeting.

  “So you’re the one looking for somebody? The one they found at the crater?”

  I knew it would happen; he didn’t recognize me either. I had refused to be hopeful that he would. So what do I do now? Do I admit he’s my dad? Should I lie? What would make things easier on everyone…? I swallowed hard and merely stared at him as I lost myself in my thoughts. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

  “Aw sweetheart; don’t get upset. We can help you find whoever you’re looking for. Chances are good that they’re still alive and well.” He gestured for me to take a seat in the empty stool as he sat back down on his own.

  “I…” I didn’t even know where to begin. I stumbled on my words and my thoughts were a jumble as I took my father’s advice.

  “She might still be out of it,” Kay started, “she keeps thinking I’m someone else.”

  “Ah,” my father replied, looking up to Kay as he stood nearby, “well, she was awfully close to that crater; it’s doubtful she would have made it out unscathed.” Chester turned his attention to me. “What exactly were you doing out there, sweetheart?”

  “…crater?” I squeaked out a response.

  “We’re not sure what exactly is there but it’s very dangerous all the same; it messes with your mind and mutates the skin. It’s a very volatile aura and you got closer than most would be willing to go; it has to be why you fainted. Which begs the question; what were you doing out there?”

  “I don’t know…” I replied slowly, “…I was passed out for most of the trip. My horse brought me near there and I thought I saw people within it.”

  “If you saw anything, it most certainly wasn’t people,” Chester responded, “some kind of abomination caused by the crater and most likely a dangerous one to boot, but definitely not people.”

  “I had to be sure…”

  “…you risked life and limb just to find out?” My father looked at me incredulously.

  “There’s no way to find who I’m looking for if I never try.”

  “…interesting.” He seemed to be at a loss for words. “If that’s true, well, I’d like to know who you are before I lend any help.”

  How rich; they want to know who I am when they don’t even know themselves. “What’s to know?” I said at last. “I’m just a girl looking for people.”

  “And I’m apparently one of them.” Kay scoffed.

  “One?” My father looked at him in confusion. “Oh…you were looking for multiple people? Hm…that’s strange; Kay never mentioned you and he’s been here as long as I have. How do you know him?”

  His words hurt more than I anticipated. “We’re from the same town…” I noticed Kay smile and shrug as my father gave him a sideways glance. “I’m not crazy.” I blurted, irritated by their expressions.

  “Well…maybe not; your mind may have been fiddled with without your knowledge. Now, what you claim about Kay is none of my business; that’s between the two of you. The other person you’re looking for, however…they may be at a facility nearby; one that probably had its claws on you, too.”

  “…Facility?”

  “There’s this place nearby…a place of metal and fear. It’s just to the south of us, embedded into the side of a cliff. There’s a man there named Dr. Krastanov who performs mind-altering experiments on his prisoners. I’ve been trying to recruit a team to go there and free everyone but it has been a slow-going process; we don’t even know how to get the doors open yet as they are made with a very thick metal that none of us can seem to pry open.” I tried my hardest not to light up at the name as the two men already seemed skeptical of me. “We get refugees from the Facility all the time and I think you may be one of them; he’s muddled with your memories to the point that you no longer know who’s what. Perhaps your friend would recognize you, though…” Chester stroked his chin in thought. “I could help you find out, if you would be interested in joining the cause?”

  A mind-altering facility…and Dr. Krastanov? Tsvetan Krastanov?

  “How exactly do you know that people have been altered? How do you know they’re refugees?”

  “Well, they show up here much like you,” Chester lifted the lantern from the pile of papers and fiddled with the sheets, clearly looking for one in particular. “They arrive with forgotten memories or confused thoughts. It’s pretty easy to tell that they’re a victim of Krastanov and I’m afraid that it’s only a matter of time before this entire Outpost is targeted; we need to strike first and free the prisoners.”

  “…what if someone here was altered by this Dr. Krastanov guy? How do you save them?”

  My father hesitated. “Well…you don’t.” He looked at me in disappointment. “You may never get your memories back, my dear; I’m sorry to say so. There’s nothing we can do for those affected; they can make their own decision on how to continue their life.”

  “And is there any way to know if someone has been altered?” My questions seemed to be coming out in rapid succession, confusing my father in my interest.

  “Besides the obvious memory loss? Like, a scar or something?” He tilted his head slightly. “No…there’s no other way to know if someone has been affected.”

  “Hmm.” I replied sharply, giving Kay a quick glance.

  “Like I said, I’m currently working on getting a group together for the infiltration mission. Once I have a sufficient group I’ll notify you and we can move forward from there.” Chester picked up a sheet of paper with various names scrawled across it in a sporadic manner. “You can stay at the medical tent for now, until we find a suitable home for you. If you have any other questions, just ask; I’m usually here,” my father glanced at Kay, “Kay, escort her back, will you?”

 
Kay agreed and turned to leave with me. I was still gazing at my father, desperate for him to suddenly realize his little girl was standing before him. My father didn’t even look at me once he found his paper, however, and he pulled a stack of pristine-looking books out of a box beside him. I was shocked at the sight but Kay ushered me outside before I could ask about them.

  “You guys have books here?” I asked Kay eagerly as we walked.

  “Yeah. So?”

  “Are they all in such good condition? Think of everything we could learn!”

  “They’re good condition, I guess,” Kay shrugged, “I don’t see how they’re so interesting, though. A bunch of dead people writing about trees and oceans; big whoop.”

  My heart was crushed at his words and although I knew the answer deep down inside, I still had to know for sure. I asked him, “do you remember an old fountain made of cold, grey stone? It never actually worked but there were rumours of Sand Whales about.”

  He laughed. “Well that’s something I’ve heard no mention of through all the books I’ve skimmed. So, no…can’t say I remember much about that but it doesn’t sound like something I’d be interested in; again, who cares about the past? It doesn’t change the present.”

  “It might…” I murmured.

  Kay turned to speak to me but a sudden commotion in the sandstorm to the south of us drew our attention away from one another. Many of the people around us looked southward as a part of the storm started to cease raging and a few blurry figures emerged. They appeared to be cloaked in a whirlwind of sand as they made their way to the Outpost, travelling incredibly fast and leaving a wide gap in the storm brewing on the outskirts for quite some time.