The Secret Arrangement

by Vanessa Waltz

  It’s supposed to be a light event. No debauchery. Tanner’s still dogging my footsteps, no doubt worried I’ll strip my pants and set my dick on fire. A scandal big enough they can’t ignore.

  "Oh my God," Saffie exclaims. "You guys have plushies, too?"

  Saffie stops in front of the mounted display of blue bears. They’re grizzlies, I guess, but they resemble pandas. She laughs at the cute button noses and stitched grins. "You should’ve picked a mascot that exists in San Francisco. Like sea lions."

  "God, you’re right." I’ve walked past Fisherman’s Wharf many times, the scent of unwashed bodies and rotting fish saturating the air as bloated sacks of brown flesh barked, barked, and barked.

  I take Saffie’s elbow and guide her toward the back, where there’s a soccer video game set up complete with chairs and a juice bar.

  "You guys would have kale smoothies at a freaking party." She gapes at the glowing, tall glasses of vegetable muck.

  "Staying this beautiful is hard work. You have no idea."

  "Next you’ll complain about smiling for your Instagram profile. Do you ever even use the products you endorse?"

  "Some of them." She shakes her head in envy at all the cool stuff surrounding us. "I didn’t sign to the pros for access to VIP lounges and corporate sponsorships. All of this is just noise." That might sound ungrateful to someone who doesn’t have much. "The game is what I live for."

  "Did you always know this was what you wanted?"

  "Yeah," I say, thinking to the summers where I worked on improving my footwork. "College wasn’t for me. I spent every available hour practicing. Forcing myself to keep going. On the field, I feel whole. It’s hard to explain."

  Her eyes glance away. "I have no idea what that’s like."

  "What about your job?"

  "Hate it. I mean, it was interesting, but never what I wanted to do. I applied to law school because I thought it’d make my dad happy."

  Ouch. "What do you want, then?"

  She buries her smile. "You will think it’s stupid."

  "No, I won’t. Tell me."

  Biting her lip, she meets my gaze. "I'd love to work with animals."

  "That’s not dumb." I laugh as her cheeks stain pink. "I was expecting pole dancing or something."

  She shakes her head. "When I was a teen, I wanted to become a zoologist. Someone who works with big cats. Now I’d settle for being a vet tech. I’m burnt out on studying."

  I get it. "So why don’t you chase after it?"

  "Because it’s not realistic, Grayson. I have bills to pay." She shrugs. "Not everyone does it right. Sometimes it’s too late to follow your dreams."

  "Why kind of nihilistic shit is that? You’re not eighty. There’s plenty of time to change your career. Take night classes if you have to."

  Her eyes widen. "You think I should?"

  "Yeah, unless you don’t mind hating your job for the rest of your life. I’d go insane."

  She mulls it over, tapping her nails against her drink. "What about you? What do you want?"

  I used to have a five-year plan for that question, but now I feel as lost as her. "The answer will always be sex when you ask that."

  "Can’t you be serious for one second? I’m trying to get to know you."

  And it’s not a mystery why.

  She’s lonely.

  She wants me to save her.

  Good fucking luck. The woman who stabbed me in the back made sure there’d never be room in my bitter heart for anything but lust.

  A man with shoulder-length, golden hair waves at me across the brewery. For a second I don’t recognize Titus in the suit. It’s rare to see him out of shorts. He beckons wildly.

  Saffie notices him. "What does he want?"

  "Dunno."

  She takes my hand, and I enjoy the way it folds into mine. We walk toward him. Titus wears a taut grimace, his movements tense as he meets me halfway.

  "Dude," he says with gravitas. "Your ex is here."

  Kris. The cheating bitch. She’s here?

  Fuck. "Where?"

  "I don’t know! She slipped inside. Will you help me find Henry’s wife before they bump into each other?"

  Hell no. I didn’t tell Gisele about the affair because I wanted Henry to man up and do it himself, but the asshole never did. And I’ll be damned if anyone blames me for ruining their marriage. That doesn’t mean I'll hide Kris from Gisele. "Fuck that."

  Titus gives me an unhappy look as he gestures toward the room filled with pool tables, and I see a statuesque woman cradling a baby bump.

  "You’re crushing my hand, Grayson."

  I release her. "Sorry."

  "That’s your ex?" she says, staring at her. "Why is she talking to my brother?"

  I’m keen to let her tag along, but I don’t think I could handle watching her cry. Again. "I need to deal with this. Stay here. I’ll be back soon."

  I bend to kiss her frozen cheek, her glassy eyes trained on Kris, who storms out of the room in a maternity gown, Henry close behind.

  Kris’ high-pitched voice stabs the air. "Where is he?"

  Henry grabs her arm, white-faced with panic. "Kris, you have to leave. My wife is here."

  The woman of my nightmares revolves on the spot when someone points me out.

  Fuck.

  Saffie stiffens as Kris charges forward, her silks billowing around her body like black mist. Henry snatches her biceps. She slaps him away. I’d laugh at Henry’s stricken face if I didn’t hate this bitch so much.

  Kris’s bold eyes always made her the focal point of any gathering. She was a girl who liked her makeup and did it well. I gravitated toward her immediately, and when she found out I was signed to the Grizzlies, she flattered me with sweet smiles and amazing blowjobs.

  Saffie gapes at the baby bump.

  "Hi, baby," she says in a honeyed voice. "I’ve been trying to put you boys in the same room forever."

  My blood churns. "How the hell did you get in here?"

  "I greased the bouncer. Five hundred dollars well spent."

  I glare at Henry. All thanks to his hush money. "My lawyer sent you three emails explaining I want no contact with you. Why are you here?"

  "You know how hard it is being a single mom? I have no one to drive me to my appointments. The baby belongs to you." She points at us. "Someone needs to man the fuck up and help me."

  Horror twists Saffie’s face. "Henry, what is she talking about? What’s going on?"

  "Who are you?" Kris snarls.

  "She’s my sister." A plea wavers Henry’s words. "I’ll do anything, but please leave."

  "Why?" she says, voice growing louder. "Because you don’t want your wife to know? I will not be a single mom, Henry. You promised you’d help me take care of it!"

  Saffie covers her mouth, staring at a point beyond Henry’s shoulder. A thin woman stands behind him with her arms crossed, her beautiful face knitted in concern.

  Gisele.

  Shit.

  She shouldn’t have to find out like this. Titus attempts to intercept her, but Gisele shoves him away.

  "What is she talking about?" Gisele addresses Henry, who seems at a loss for words.

  So Kris sets her straight. "Your husband had an affair with me."

  My heart breaks as Gisele laughs, clinging to Henry’s arm. She gazes at the circle of people, her lips fighting to keep smiling. "With you? He wouldn’t— Is she telling the truth? Henry?"

  But Henry can’t or won’t answer. His face has gone the shade of sour milk.

  Frowning, Kris pats her swollen belly. "Honey, it’s really simple. He cheated on you with me. Now I’m pregnant, and I need support."

  A ringing silence follows Kris’ words. Horror grips my stomach as Gisele’s expression transforms from anger to confusion to soul-crushing despair.

  "Babe, let’s go home." Henry slides an arm around Gisele’s shoulder.

  She throws him off, tears glistening in her eyes. "Is it true?"

&nbs
p; "Gisele, she’s crazy. She wasn’t even invited to the party!"

  "Oh, no you don’t," Kris roars. "We fucked every night your wife was out of town. You promised, Henry. You said you’d leave her."

  Gisele’s haunted gaze meets mine. "Is it true?"

  I nod. "Yes."

  A heart-wrenching sob echoes through the lounge. It twists inside me like a knife in my chest.

  "Don’t fucking touch me!" Gisele screams, slapping Henry’s arm away. She runs to the women’s bathroom.

  Saffie follows Henry, red-faced and furious. "Are you kidding me?"

  Henry rounds on her. "Mind your own business!"

  "You cheated on her." Her voice is thick with disapproval. "With your best friend’s girlfriend, no less! I can’t believe you’d do something like this."

  As much as I love seeing her lay into him for what he deserves, I should try to defuse the situation. "Saffie, it’s not worth it."

  She gapes at her brother, who has nothing to say. Instead he glares at me. "Thanks a lot."

  "Seriously?" I laugh. "You’re blaming me for this?"

  I gaze at the people gathered around. Looks like our drama bomb went off unnoticed, probably due to the club beats vibrating the floor.

  He points at me. "You let her inside. You’ve wanted this to happen for ages."

  Tired of being ignored, Kris walks in between us. "I am sick of you guys fighting. I want to know who will take care of me when the baby comes."

  Fuck her.

  Fuck them both.

  I grab Saffie and pull her away from the scene. I need to get out of here before I do something stupid, like throw a fist through the wall. She presses to my side, heart beating against my arm.

  "Where the hell do you think you’re going?" Henry shouts.

  "This is your mess, asshole," I shout over my shoulder. "You clean it up."

  A cloud of hatred blinds my gaze as I charge forward, the only link to my sanity squeezed in my hand. We burst through the back exit, Saffie stumbling along in her high heels. The streets are already flooded with college kids ready for a night out. Only when Saffie yelps in pain do I realize I’m dragging her.

  "Sorry," I say, slowing down.

  She gives me a frightened look. "Um—are you okay? That was intense."

  I don’t know how I feel. "I’m relieved, I guess. That Gisele knows."

  "I’m still processing it. God, this is just awful. I—why didn’t you ever tell her that her husband slept with your girlfriend?"

  "Because it’s not my goddamn place. He should have done it." Sighing, I squeeze her hand. "Are you okay?"

  "Fuck. This is such a shock." She draws in a shaking breath. "I can’t believe it. I am so sorry."

  Her anger on my behalf makes me want to kiss her. "You’re more upset about it than I am."

  "How’s that possible?"

  Because I’ve got something much better. You. "It happened months ago. I’m angry because she chose the most public venue to drop this drama bomb, and the last thing I wanted was for Gisele to find out like this."

  "She must be so humiliated." Saffie runs a hand through her hair. "Why didn’t you tell the whole world the moment you found out? You could’ve destroyed his career with the Grizzlies."

  "I don’t want to do that, Saffie."

  "Oh my God." Her voice rises in a shrill whisper. "That’s why we’re fucking around, isn’t it?"

  What? "No."

  She goes rigid. "You went after me the first day I arrived."

  I grab her shoulders. "Judge me by my actions, Saff. Not by what you think I’m thinking. You have no idea what I’ve been through."

  "You pulled that stunt with the party the night before I was coming. Since the beginning, you wanted to rub it in. Didn’t you?" My silence condemns me, and Saffie’s beautiful face breaks like Gisele’s did. "You’re a bastard, Grayson."

  "Maybe, but I can’t stand the lies anymore. I don’t give a shit about him. I want you."

  "How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"

  "Because I care about you." I touch her chin, her skin gliding under my fingers. "Deep down, you know that."

  Saffie rips away from my grasp, tears glistening her cheeks. I started this without regard to the fallout because I needed her to feel whole again. Instead I hate myself for causing an ounce of grief in her body.

  I’ll fix it.

  I have to.

  10

  Saffie

  A full-body punching bag hangs from the ceiling, and my fists radiate with pain. The hard leather absorbs my blow with barely a tremor. Fuck, it’s like striking a concrete wall. I wring my knuckles, my eyes tearing up from the ache. Damn. I’ve seen them go at it on this thing. Are my hands that soft?

  I thought fifteen minutes of hammering would be a good outlet for my anger, but all it gives me is a pounding ache in my wrists to match the one in my head. I was so pissed I couldn’t fall asleep. Rage kept me tossing the whole night until I gave up and wandered through the house.

  I grab a pair of discarded boxing gloves and slip them on, wrapping the Velcro around my hands. I pummel the bag. It trembles. I hit it harder. The leather sways an inch.

  He lied.

  SLAM.

  Used me.

  My knuckles scream with another punch.

  I suspected he was an asshole and slept with him anyway. God, I even let myself get attached. I poured my soul out to him like an idiot, and he sat there and listened as though he gave a shit. Henry warned me, but thinking about my brother brings a fresh wave of rage.

  He was the biggest disappointment.

  I work myself into a sweat, hammering the goddamn bag with my elbows, knees, anything. Until a shadow grows over my body and a hand grips the chains, stilling the bag’s movements. I turn around.

  A man who I wish I could banish from my thoughts stands behind me, a small grin playing on his handsome face. His deep blues shine with amusement. "Who are you trying to kill? Me or your brother?"

  I can’t look at him without feeling pain. "Leave me be."

  Unfortunately Grayson's not a listener. He’s an attention-seeking, nosy asshole who won’t let me out of this room until he’s satisfied. I don’t want to be alone with him a minute longer because I know he’ll say something that’ll make me forget, and I’ll go back to being his dumb little pet. My spine hits the bag as he steps forward.

  "You’re way too weak to use this," he says. "It’s a hundred and fifty pounds. You’ll hurt yourself."

  Even when Grayson's trying to help he's an asshole. "Thanks for the compliment. Get out of my face."

  His voice and eyes soften. "I don’t like how we left things yesterday."

  No shit. He’s lost his fuck-buddy. "There’s nothing to say, Grayson. You used me. I hope it was worth it."

  He touches my cheek. "I wouldn’t be here if I didn't give a damn."

  I duck away from his hand, heart hammering as his gaze refuses to let me go. "Doesn’t change that you sought me out to punish someone else."

  His lips twitch. "Don’t hate on me because you’re mad at him."

  Am I punishing him? "I couldn't care less about the stupid decisions my brother makes. You hurt me."

  "I didn’t mean to," he says in a low voice. "Yeah, I got a kick out of fucking his sister. I won’t lie about that, and I’m not going to lie about wanting you either."

  Just what I deserve for trusting him. "Go to hell, Grayson."

  I step to the side.

  He blocks my way. "I told you what I wanted from you since the beginning."

  "And you’re fighting to keep a fling that'll only last a few more weeks." The gravity of it sinks into my bones.

  I’ll never see Grayson again.

  He won’t be there to fuck the breath out of me. Take me into his arms. I'll never be able to listen to his voice boom through my back. The joy will be gone because I’ll never kiss him again. If I ever meet another man and he holds me tight, I’ll wish it were Grayson.


  He’ll disappear like smoke into air the moment I leave this ranch, and I’ll have nothing but memories. Maybe it’s easier to go now—before it gets worse. How bad could it get?

  Grayson takes my trembling hands and folds them against his chest. He’s always so warm. "You bet your sweet ass I will fight hard for you."

  I want to slap the hand away, but a piece of me breaks. Grayson grasps my chin. He brushes my lips in an almost-kiss that sends my nerves ablaze. "Fucking you is the only thing I look forward to anymore. I don’t want this to stop."

  Me neither.

  I begin to speak, but Grayson steals my words. Heat flushes all the rage with every tender kiss. His mouth hardens with my moan. I stumble against the wall of the small boxing room. Grayson smooths my thighs, a wicked grin illuminating his face. "I love it when you wear these."

  I look down, breathless. "My yoga pants?"

  "Yeah," he says, snapping the band against my thigh. "They’re sexy as hell."

  Dimly, I’m aware of Ditzy next door. When I stalked in at five a.m., he was pressing barbells, looking haggard and unhappy.

  The door’s ajar.

  He could walk in on us any minute.

  Grayson bites my lip, thrusting a knee between my legs. A sensation like electricity ripples over my skin. He gives my pants another loud snap, and my head turns at the door.

  My lips brush his ear. "Someone's in there."

  "Nah. I told Titus to fuck off."

  He scoops me into his arms. I dig into his muscles. "Stop it!"

  Laughing, he carries me into the mercifully empty weight room, and I breathe a sigh of relief that hitches into a gasp. Grayson lays me on a bench, his grin stretched wide. He throws my legs around his waist and grinds into me. Walls of mirrors surround us. "Here?" I glance at the equipment.

  "Yeah. It’s perfect. I’ll watch us fuck from four different angles."

  A thrill hits my chest, sending my pulse into a gallop. "All they’d have to do is walk in."

  "Then I’ll be quick." Grayson plants a kiss on my open mouth, his skin blazing with need.

  The protest on my tongue flies away when he rolls my pants down. They snag at my hips. He pulls them in fast jerks, dragging my panties along. My back arches against the flat bench as he pins my legs to the side, trapped together by the clothes rolled around my ankles. His devilish grin fills me with a consuming heat, and then he strokes my folds. My head tips to the bright lights as stars erupt behind my eyeballs. I watch him from all sides as he fingers me. Two thrusts, and I’m wet enough for him. Grayson takes his time, though. He rubs my clit, his lips hovering just above kissing distance, and watches me lose my shit.