The Family We Make
Page 24
Most of all, he wanted to revel in being young and happy and completely, irredeemably in love.
“You haven’t stopped smiling since we left the restaurant,” Spencer said when they were about halfway back to his house, if Tim judged the distance correctly.
“Is that a problem?” he asked, almost laughing when he felt his smile widen all on its own.
“You smiling? Never.” Spencer started to smile back but must have realized what he’d said because his face erupted into one of his adorable blushes, and he coughed slightly. “Um. Just, you know, noteworthy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy before.”
That’s because I love you.
Thankfully, he wasn’t so far gone he said that out loud. This definitely wasn’t the right time for love confessions, no matter how much Tim wanted to tell literally every single person who passed them on the sidewalk, and maybe a few of the people in the cars too. Spencer deserved a perfect moment with flowers and candles and every romantic cliché in the world. He deserved to hear those words for the first time from Tim in a way that would leave no doubt he was nothing less than 100 percent serious.
At the very least, he deserved a second date.
“I’m having a great night.”
Spencer tilted his head and glanced up, the light from the nearby streetlamp gleaming in his eyes. “Yeah?”
Tim swung their hands between them as they walked. “Best night ever.”
Spencer laughed but didn’t try to dispute it, which Tim had half expected. Instead, he studied Tim for a long moment. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“How tall are you?” Now it was Tim’s turn to laugh. Spencer huffed, but Tim could see he was fighting to keep from smiling. “What? It’s a legit question, and it’s been bothering me for weeks.”
“My height has been bothering you for weeks?”
“Yes! You’re usually so…” He flattened his free hand and held it several inches above his own head. “But tonight, you’re all…” He raised the hand up a bit. “But I swear to God I’ve seen you”—he lowered it so it was an inch or so below where he originally had it—“like this too. It’s driving me crazy.”
Tim grinned. “I’m six foot one,” he said. “All the time. But sometimes, like tonight, I wear dress shoes, which have a bit of lift in the back, and that brings me up here.” He placed his own free hand on top of his head. “And sometimes I just wear sneakers, which don’t have as much lift, and I’m here.” He held his hand in front of the top of his forehead. “And then there are times when I take my shoes completely off,” he said, lowering his hand another quarter inch or so, “which brings me right about here.”
Spencer dropped his hand and narrowed his eyes. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“Not at all, I swear.” Then, when Spencer raised an eyebrow, he added, “I might be teasing you a bit though.”
“Hmm.” Spencer studied him for a moment. “You should take your shoes off more often. You’re way too tall.”
An idea popped into Tim’s head, and he stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. There weren’t many people around, but the few who were close behind them gave him dirty looks before picking up the pace and striding by.
“Wha—” Was as far as Spencer got before Tim started slipping out of his shoes. “I didn’t mean now!” he said, his words trailing off into a laugh when Tim dropped down about an inch. “Holy shit, you weren’t lying.”
“Nope,” Tim said, picking the shoes up with his free hand. “Never.”
They were facing each other now, and while Tim had always been terrible at eyeballing measurements, he figured Spencer couldn’t be any taller than five six or five seven with the way the slightly fluffy hair on the top of his head barely came up to Tim’s nose even with the shoes gone.
“Okay, so, another insecurity question coming,” Spencer said, chewing his lip briefly. “This doesn’t bother you, right? That I’m so…” He held his flattened hand up to the top of Tim’s head, then lowered it to the top of his own.
Tim frowned. “Why would it?”
Spencer shrugged. “It happens. We don’t exactly live in a part of the world where guys my size are common. It’s weird, right?”
“Spencer,” Tim said softly, “there’s nothing weird about your height.” Spencer shot him a skeptical look, and Tim held back a sigh. “Do you really think I care how tall you are? At all?”
“Lots of guys do.”
For a moment, all Tim could feel was a seething disgust toward every single person who had ever told Spencer he was anything less than perfect.
“A lot of guys are idiots,” Tim said bluntly. It got a small chuckle out of Spencer, which made him want to smile, but he could see Spencer still wasn’t completely convinced. “Do you have a problem with my height?”
Spencer winced. “Not…as such.” Tim blinked, and Spencer quickly rushed to clarify. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you! Because, and I’m so going to regret saying this in a few minutes, that’s definitely not the case. You’re…whoa. Like, the ideal guy, you know? Over six feet, nice shoulders, great smile, confident but not up his own ass.” He smiled ruefully. “You’re basically every standard I’ve ever been compared against, and there’s a small part of me that kinda wants to hate you.”
Tim tried to keep how much Spencer’s words had hurt from showing. “And the rest of you?”
Spencer’s eyes suddenly widened like a deer in the headlights. So much for not pressuring him about feelings. “The rest of me,” he said slowly, “wants to climb you like a fucking tree and make a nest in your hair. Which makes even less sense to me than it probably does to you, but there you go.”
Tim blinked again. “That’s…probably the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“You’re fucking kidding me.”
“No,” Tim said unable to fight the smile pulling at his lips. “No one’s ever wanted to make a nest with me before.”
Spencer studied him for a long moment, probably trying to decide if he was being teased or not. Judging by the return of the blush, he must have decided he wasn’t. Which was good, because Tim had never been more serious in his life.
“Well…I do.” Spencer cleared his throat. “I mean, it’s not like I’m saying we should move in together or anything but”—he met Tim’s eyes and took a deep breath—“I want a whole more than just a date too.”
Tim could live inside those words forever. “Good.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay with that? Being my— Trying for—” He shook his head. “God, I have no idea what to call you when I’m nearly thirty.”
“I think we’re still young enough that ‘boyfriends’ would be fine,” Tim said, amused and charmed in equal measure.
“Oh, thank God.”
“Hm?”
Spencer’s blush deepened as he shrugged. “No, nothing, I just hate calling the person I’m with a ‘lover,’ or anything like that. Lover implies sex, boyfriend implies an emotional connection. I can’t say ‘Oh, hi, this is Insert Name Here, my lover’ without thinking it sounds like ‘Hi, this is Whoever, the guy who’s fucking me.’”
“What about ‘partner’?”
“Ew. Way too clinical. I’m not practicing law with somebody. I’d much rather have a boyfriend.”
“Well,” Tim said, smiling, “I’m more than happy to be your boyfriend.”
Spencer didn’t return the smile. Instead, his expression turned completely serious, bordering on solemn. “And you’re really okay with that? Really? You know being my boyfriend means Connor’s going to be an even bigger part of your life, right? I don’t know—I mean, I think he might be too old for another ‘dad,’ but if this works out, you know that’s basically what you’re gonna be. Is…is that too much?”
Suddenly, Tim felt like an idiot. He’d been so worried about not turning things too serious too fast he’d forgotten how different this relationship was g
oing to be to any he’d been in before. Spencer was a father, which meant he couldn’t do anything but take dating seriously. And if he’d already agreed to date Tim, then he must already have strong feelings for him.
Still, that didn’t mean they couldn’t take things slow. He was pretty positive slow was the only speed Spencer had, and Tim still had more than a few Rudy-shaped hang-ups rattling around in his head. He wasn’t quite ready to lay his heart out on the line yet, no matter how many Sure Thing signals Spencer was giving off. For right now, the L word was better left off the table.
Even if Spencer was giving him everything he’d ever wanted.
“It’s not too much at all,” he said.
“Are you sure?” Spencer asked. “Because if it is, you gotta tell me now. Tonight’s been perfect, but I think we can still walk away and just be friends without fucking us up too much. But if we do this again, and it’s anything like this?” He let out a long breath. “At the risk of sounding creepy and possessive, I don’t think I’d ever be able to let you go.”
Tim smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
“Really? Even though I have a moody teenage kid?”
So that’s his biggest hang-up.
“Spencer.” Tim let go of his hand and cupped his face, savoring the contrast of the slight roughness of his jaw and the downy smoothness of his cheek. “I want both of you.”
Then he kissed him.
Tim only meant to give him a quick kiss; a reassurance, a way to connect Spencer’s moment of doubt with every other kiss they’d shared that night, so he’d know nothing had changed. Problem was, he’d somehow forgotten how addicting Spencer’s lips were. One second turned into two, then four, then more, then tongues got involved and it would take a stronger man than Tim to keep counting with Spencer panting into his open mouth. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were making out on a sidewalk in the middle of the city while he was holding his shoes. The rest of him, however, only acknowledged the back of his mind long enough to revel in the fact that Spencer had once again kissed him in public with total abandon.
When they finally parted, Spencer stared up at him with large glistening eyes.
“Tim.” Spencer licked his lips. “God, please tell me you want us in different ways.”
The moment the words were out, Spencer’s eyes widened, and he slapped his hand over his mouth. He dropped his head on Tim’s chest with a groan.
“I didn’t say that out loud, did I?” he asked, his voice muffled by his hands.
Tim laughed. Apparently, at some point between “Hi, nice to meet you” and “Oh crap, I love him,” accusations of being a pedophile went from enraging to cute. Good to know.
“You did,” Tim said, dropping a kiss on top of Spencer’s head just because he could.
“Kill me now.”
“I’d rather kiss you.”
Spencer pulled back and stared up at Tim. His cheeks were burning red, and his brows were pinched together. Tim couldn’t resist seeing if placing a kiss on his forehead would smooth them out.
It did.
“You know what,” Spencer said a moment later, “I’m not even gonna question it.”
He yanked Tim down for another kiss.
This time, Tim didn’t even bother starting a count.
Chapter Fourteen
SPENCER: kids on his way. He should be there in 15 minutes or so. If hes late, fall FBI
SPENCER: *call
SPENCER: also. HEADS UP. He is wearing his new wonder woman t shirt and hes really sensitive about it
SPENCER: make fun of him all day long so he gets over that shit
SPENCER: kidding! Please don’t make fun of my son for wearing a wonder woman shirt
SPENCER: make fun of him for wearing a wonder woman MOVIE shirt
SPENCER: kidding again. Were a dc movie family. You need to get with the program because we are RIDE OR DIE tim
TIM: So you hate Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but you like Dawn of Justice?
SPENCER: ride
SPENCER: or
SPENCER: DIEEEEEEEEEE
SPENCER: can you tell im bored out of my fucking mind yet?
Tim snorted for the fifth time since Spencer’s text spree started, drawing another strange glance from the center’s receptionist.
TIM: No grading this weekend?
SPENCER: I wish. Why do you think im so bored?
Tim smiled fondly.
A week had passed since their date had ended with a simple kiss on Spencer’s front porch, making it the most chaste first date Tim had ever been on. Not that he minded. He would have been more than happy to trade every orgasm he’d ever had for one of Spencer’s kisses. Especially the shy ones. But even more especially, the really desperate, aggressive ones Tim got when Spencer forgot to be self-conscious and lost himself in the moment. Tim was addicted to being the thing that made Spencer lose control.
SPENCER: Also
SPENCER: HUSH YOUR MOUTH dawn of justice is an underrated GEM.
TIM: If you say so.
SPENCER: quick, pick a movie that you like that you think i hate
SPENCER: dont question me just do it
TIM: I don’t know what’s more impressive, that you knew what I was going to say or that you typed all that out before I could type “why?” And the Doctor Who movie.
SPENCER: Great!
SPENCER: wait, really? you like the doctor who movie?
Tim smirked to himself.
TIM: It’s an underrated gem.
SPENCER: if I didnt hate emojis id be giving you like a million poop emojis right now
SPENCER: Actually, no. thats perfect. Thats our next date. Youre coming over here tomorrow and were gonna watch dawn of justice and the doctor who movie back to back and see which one is better.
Tim grinned.
TIM: Our next date, huh? Aren’t you gonna ask? Or are you deciding for both of us?
SPENCER: ive decided
SPENCER: is that okay?
Tim laughed.
TIM: It’s perfect.
Suddenly, the center’s front doors slammed open, letting in a burst of cold air that was followed very quickly by Connor. His nose and cheeks were reddened by the cold front that had moved in the night before, and even though he wore a thick jacket, he still had his arms wrapped around himself trying to keep warm. He spotted Tim before the doors started to close and froze. They stared at each other, and Connor hunched in on himself before scowling down at the floor.
“Hey, Connor,” Tim said, greeting him with a smile.
Connor didn’t say anything, and Tim’s smile slipped. His phone buzzed again, but Tim barely glanced at the new text before firing off a quick “Connor’s here talk later.” He knew Spencer wouldn’t mind. Center time had always been Tim and Connor time, and even before they’d started dating, Spencer had respected and encouraged it. Connor was usually eager to hang out with him too, which was sweet and kind of sad. He was pretty desperate for friendship, and Tim knew he enjoyed the fact that a guy Tim’s age liked him and wanted to be his friend. Right now though, Connor seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else.
He wondered if this was what Spencer meant when he said Connor had been acting “weird” all week.
“You want to get something to eat?”
Connor grunted.
Okay then.
“Hey, is everything all right?”
Connor nodded and then shrugged. Tim held back from prying. He knew how important privacy was to Connor and, even though the receptionist was the only other person around, sound tended to carry in the entrance area.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get further inside and warm up a bit; then we can talk.”
Surprisingly, Connor followed him without complaint. Tim debated heading to the cafeteria, but it was close to lunchtime and there would be too much of a crowd for Connor to feel comfortable. Instead, he led his friend to a nearby empty office, opening the door before turning to face him.
“Are you really dating my dad?” Connor asked, spinning around and shooting him a challenging glare like he was daring Tim to admit it. Or maybe he was daring him to deny it, Tim couldn’t tell. Either way, the question wasn’t what Tim had been expecting, although if he thought about it, he probably should have.
“I am,” he answered.
Connor stared up at him. “Why?” he asked plaintively.
Tim held back a frown. Spencer had told him, a few days after their date, about Connor’s reaction to finding out they were dating, but he’d made it seem like Connor was okay with it. Was he wrong? Or was he trying to keep how Connor really felt from Tim? Was this why Connor hadn’t been to the center since last week?
“Because I care about him.”
“That’s not an answer. I want reasons.”
Tim raised his eyebrows. “You want details about my relationship with your dad?”
“Not like—” Connor snapped his mouth shut and glared. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”
“Not on purpose, I swear.”
Connor kept the glare up for another few seconds before deflating and letting out a long, breathy sigh. “Whatever.”
“Connor—”
“Is that why you’re friends with me?” His voice was quiet, but his eyes were wide, and his breath came rapidly, his narrow chest rising and falling like he’d just run a marathon. “Because you wanted my dad?”
“What?” Tim stared at him in shock. Was that what he thought? “Of course not.”
“Then why are you friends with me?” Connor crossed his arms. “And if you’re my friend, why are you dating my dad?”