“What do you mean? What started making sense?” I ask.
Leaning back in his chair, Blake shifts in his seat. “Throughout my whole childhood, weird things kept happening. Boxes of clothes, jackets, and shoes would just show up at the front door at the start of every season. I kept getting scholarships to football camps, baseball camps—you name it. I got a letter saying I’d won a scholarship. I thought I was the most popular guy alive! My school always got some anonymous donation for this or that. One year, I wanted to play in the band, but my mother wouldn’t pay for it, and miraculously a trumpet showed up for me in the music department. Then in high school, all sorts of scouts came to see me play football.” Shaking his head, he smiles. “And I sucked. I was horrible. But scout after scout came to check me out. I couldn’t figure out why colleges were offering me football scholarships. I turned them all down because not only was I a shitty football player, but I didn’t want to go to college. I had my plan, and I was sticking to it.”
I can’t believe Daddy orchestrated all of this and never breathed a word of it to me. I just can’t wrap my head around it. This was far more than just going to Texas once a year like Daddy told Chase. For over twenty years he kept tabs on Blake. That takes having eyes and ears on the ground. I just can’t believe there was this other part of his life he kept secret. Why didn’t he tell me?
Blake continues. “Right before my high school graduation, he came to see me. I just about shit my pants. Here’s Aiden Aldrich waiting for me outside the grocery store where I bagged groceries. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I told him I was getting married and going to work on her family’s ranch. He tried to talk me out of it. Offered to make sure my college was taken care of, but I told him I don’t take handouts and this was the life I wanted. We talked for two hours, and in the end, he shook my hand and told me good luck. To be honest, for the longest time, I thought I’d hallucinated the whole thing. It wasn’t until this whole book nonsense with my mother came up that it all clicked together.”
Chase squeezes my hand under the table. All my feelings of anger and betrayal come rushing back. But then I look at Blake and think about the way his mother neglected him, and I’m conflicted. I’m happy someone helped Blake, but I’m hurt Daddy didn’t feel he could talk to me about it.
As if sensing my disquiet, Chase pours a glass of water from the sterling silver pitcher then places it in front of me.
I take a sip of water, hoping to ease the lump forming in my throat. “I honestly had no idea about any of this. It’s a bit shocking to hear about this whole part of his life I knew nothing about.”
Blake opens a drawer in the table and pulls out a remote then turns on the ceiling fan. Maybe I’m not the only one feeling uncomfortable.
“When I received word from my lawyer that you wanted me to take the DNA test, I was going to say no because I was confident Aiden wasn’t my father. Why waste everyone’s time? But Lucy, that’s my wife, she thought it would be horribly unfair to you if I didn’t. As always, the wife is right,” he says with a smile, trying to ease the tension.
“I appreciate that,” I reply. “Your wife is a smart woman.”
“She also thought I should tell you about everything he did, or tried to do. I’m not sure what type of man your father truly was or what type of relationship you had with him. I know what I saw on TV, but that’s TV. Lucy said if she were in your shoes, this would be a tough pill to swallow. She thought knowing that he did more than most men in his situation would do might bring you a little peace.”
“He could have done more,” I say far more harshly than I’d intended but nowhere near as harshly as I feel. “Even if you weren’t his son, he could have done something to get you out of there so you wouldn’t have to grow up the way you did. No child should be forced to live like that.”
“But then I never would have met my wife and had my daughters. I love my life. I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. After swiping the screen, he hands it to me. There’s a picture of a beautiful woman with strawberry blond hair and freckles and four little girls who are the spitting image of her. “All of my struggles as a kid made me the man I am today, and I’m damn proud of that. This is the life I was meant to live, and I’m grateful for it.”
Handing him back his phone, I say, “You have a lovely family.”
He puts the phone in his pocket. “That I do. Lucy has an aunt who lives in the town I grew up in. We met one summer when she came to visit, and it was love at first sight. I waited all year long for her to come back. After years of writing letters, I went to work on her family’s ranch in the summers, and we’ve been together ever since. Her father, Jake, is the closest thing I ever had to a father, God rest his soul.” He tilts his head to look me square in the eye. “Things work out the way they’re supposed to.”
The room fills with awkward silence. There’s so much emotion in the air that the moment hangs in limbo, no one knowing what to say or do. I feel as though we’ve both opened wounds begging to be healed, yet there’s nothing either of us can do to provide a salve. I don’t have a father to give him, and he doesn’t have a way to give mine back to me. We’re both left to accept the fate we were given.
“Arianna, we should go. We have a plane to catch,” Chase says.
Our flight isn’t until late tonight, but he’s smart enough to know it’s time to leave. We all just need an excuse.
I stand and walk toward the door. “Thanks for talking to me. Again, I’m sorry for—”
He clucks his tongue. “If my mama hadn’t gone and done all of this, you wouldn’t have ever had to worry about it. Both of our parents put us in a difficult situation. All we can do is try to move on from it.” He opens the door and motions for me to walk through. Blake walks us out to the lobby, and we awkwardly shake hands and say good-bye. “You should stop by the leather shop on your way out. Best handmade leather products you’ll ever find. Next to that is the Steak Shop. They can pack up anything you want on dry ice for the flight home. Be sure to get some jerky! It melts in your mouth.”
I shrug. “I’m vegan.”
Looking disgusted, he scrunches his nose. “Well, we know the test is accurate. There is no way I’m related to a vegan.” Smiling, he gives us one last wave. “Have a safe trip.”
Chase holds out the keys. “Want to drive? I know it helps you clear your head.”
If I were in the passenger seat for the next three hours, I’d probably combust. I grab the keys and get behind the wheel.
“The Aldrich name dies with me after all,” I say as we drive past the petting zoo right next to the Steak Shop like some twisted before and after.
“Are you disappointed?” he asks.
Chase is patient while I let the question swirl around my mind like a fine wine, trying to identify the flavors and tannins. I can’t quite put my finger on what I’m feeling. There’s simply so much to process, and a large part of that is that there are some answers I’ll never get. As I drive through the rolling hills of the Oklahoma countryside, it occurs to me that the fact this will always remain a mystery is the hardest part.
“There are so many elements of this situation that I will never fully understand,” I finally say. “I wish I just had one more chance to talk to Daddy so he could explain it himself. The fact that I can’t makes me miss him so much. It’s this glaring reminder that he’s gone.”
“If you had one more chance to talk to him, would it really be about this? I’d hope not. This was one mistake in his life, but it didn’t define him. Don’t let it define your perception of him either. You might not have known this about him, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t know him. Just like there are things about you he didn’t know, but there’s no one, except for maybe me, who knew you better.”
Bile rises from my gut as a dark thought sinks in. “Now that I know Blake isn’t my brother, that brings back the possibility that my parents bullied his mother
into an abortion. And the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.”
“Or,” Chase says, raising a finger, “she was at a party and saw your dad drunk off his ass and played him. From what Blake said, one is just as likely as the other.”
“Regardless of if she did or not, they still tried to. That’s bad enough.”
“And they had to live with that.”
His reply hangs in the car like a cloud of smoke. As I’ve learned, it’s not the mistake that’s hard but living with the aftermath. The guilt I have over my miscarriage is like a black spot on my heart. I can’t imagine it ever going away. Maybe my parents suffered from the stranglehold of remorse enough in their lifetimes that they don’t deserve my condemnation in death.
For the rest of the ride back to Tulsa, we talk about anything other than my father and affairs. We talk about the game. I, of course, take credit for his exceptional playing because of how I properly prepared him for the Cardinals’ defense. Since I drive with a lead foot, we get back to Tulsa in time to catch an earlier flight.
But we have time to kill, so we stop at some restaurant one of Chase’s teammates told us we had to try before we left town. Like everything else in Tulsa, it’s a steak place. The server looks at me as if I just peed on the Bible when I tell him I’m not ordering a steak and don’t want bacon or butter on my baked potato. Chase just rolls his eyes. I know he’s wondering how long my vegan detox will go on, but he never presses me. I don’t know the answer. For the time being, it makes me feel better.
Chase puts on a movie for us to watch on the flight, but I’m distracted, going over the day in my mind.
I tap his shoulder. “Hey, I’ve been thinking. As disappointed as I am that Daddy put himself in a position to be tangled up in any of this mess, I can’t help but think maybe, in a way, it was a blessing. Whether he did all of those things for Blake because he thought Blake was his son or because it was guilt for forcing Valerie into having an abortion, taking care of the kid she did have was his penance. Whatever the reason, if he didn’t do what he did, would anyone have looked out for Blake as a kid? Would anyone have bought him clothes and kept him in shoes? It doesn’t sound like his mother would have. Fate brings people together for all sorts of reasons. Maybe that’s why.”
He doesn’t respond.
I elbow him. “Chase? What do you think?”
I look over, and he’s fast asleep.
Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m connecting dots that aren’t really there to connect, but it helps me feel better.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chase
When we left the ranch, I honestly didn’t know how Ari would handle Blake’s news. Considering this was the issue that spurred her downward spiral, I worried that hearing about all of the things her father had kept from her might spark another fire. But it didn’t. She seemed to make peace with it rather quickly.
When we got back into town, Charlie and Spencer came over with takeout. Ari relayed the events of our meeting with Blake calmly and without any signs of anger or hurt. For the first week after our return, I worried she was too calm, but when Ari told me she’d reached out to Blake’s wife, Lucy, and they were developing a friendship, I felt better. Apparently Lucy is pregnant with their fifth child, a boy this time, so Ari and Charlie went baby gift shopping. Ari and I have talked about Aiden a number of times, and I don’t sense she’s holding anything back. She seems good.
Things between us have been great. Our biggest problem is that we never see each other. I’m at the field until late every night. Charlie has herself and Ari signed up for all these crazy classes: blindfolded pottery, trampoline fitness class, and something called running photography that I still don’t understand. They’re having a great time, and it’s good for Ari to be out and social, but the classes are all first thing in the morning. They take away the only time we can sneak in together. But as long as that smile stays on her face, it’s worth it.
With all the long hours the team has been putting in on the field, we’ve all been desperate for a little downtime, so tonight the team is going to play pool at some bar the coaches have rented out. My plan was to bring Ari with me. Ari’s a pool shark; she can clear a table faster than most people rack, and there’s something so sexy about watching her play pool. Maybe it’s just that it always makes her horny.
Whatever the reason, I’d had high hopes for this evening, but that plan went out the window when Charlie called and demanded Ari and I come over for dinner. I managed to get out of practice a little earlier so we could make it, though I’ll be up all night studying the defense to make up for it. Ari will help me with that. It’s our weird version of couple bonding.
“I met with my agent today,” she says as we drive to Charlie’s. “Simon’s had a number of offers that he’s been pestering me to listen to, so I figured now was as good a time as any.”
I try to hide my utter disdain for him. The guy’s a tool. I have no idea why she signed with him or why she’s stayed with him as long as she has, but I’m not about to start voicing my opinion about her people. Things are going way too good between us for me to step in a bear trap like that. So I just smile and say, “Oh, yeah? What did he have to say?”
“A bunch of offers I’m not interested in. Commentating, which I turned down. The producers of that all-women morning talk show think I’d make an interesting addition. They probably want me to be the token Republican. But every conservative woman they’ve had on there becomes their punching bag, so I think that’s a pass.”
I glance over my shoulder at her. “Good call on that. I think you’d be miserable. What else did he say?”
“Tennis instruction videos, which I’d never do. Several publishers have offered me book deals. They even offered a ghost writer if I don’t actually want to write it. They had a list of ideas. Memoirs about my time with Daddy. My life as a child tennis star. Fitness books. Cook books. Basically it sounds like I could scribble down my grocery list and they’d put it in hardcover and charge $24.99 for it.”
“And?”
She wrinkles her nose. “I turned them down. It all felt desperate and tired. He has a ton of modeling opportunities for me, but I’m not sure I really want to be the face of anything right now.”
Thank God for that. Her modeling has never worked out well for us. Every photographer wants to get her as naked as possible, and I want her bundled up in a parka. I told her that once, and she did a North Face ad wearing only a parka just to piss me off.
“I need something new and fresh to get excited about,” she continues. “I just don’t know what yet. When the right thing crosses my path, I’ll know it. I’m not giving up hope.”
I put my hand on her thigh and give her leg a light squeeze. “Until you find it, I love that I’ve gotten to see you as much as I have. I always play better when you’re in the stands.”
She scoffs. “Being your girlfriend is not a career path.”
“I know,” I say as I pull into my sister’s driveway. “I’ll support you whenever you decide what you want those next steps to be. But until then, can’t I enjoy this while it lasts?”
She leans over and kisses me. “Of course. Just don’t get spoiled.”
After we get out of the car, I put my hand on the small of her back as we walk up the stairs to the house.
“Any idea what this is about?” she asks. “I haven’t talked to Charlie all day.”
I shrug. “Spencer was talking about going in on a boat with Mom and Pop. Maybe they want to sucker us into chipping in too. Be prepared for charts and graphs. You know how Spencer loves to make PowerPoints.”
“We have a boat in the Bahamas. We can always have it brought here.”
Charlie opens the door before I can reply. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all day!” She pushes me out of the way so she can give Ari a hug.
“What am I, chopped liver? I answered your calls. Doesn’t that entitle me to the first hug?”
She kisses
my cheek. “Since she’s been staying here, I go through withdrawals when I don’t talk to her enough throughout the day” Charlie pushes the intercom button. “Spence, get out of your hole! You’ve worked enough for today.”
“Turn on CNN!” he calls from his office.
“What?” She pushes the intercom. “Use the intercom. That’s what we got it for!”
“CNN! Now!”
Charlie finds the remote, turns the TV on, then finds the channel.
“Former tennis star Sven Lundberg was arrested today for statutory rape and distribution of child pornography along with several other state and federal child molestation charges. Lundberg was under investigation by the SEC when it was discovered he was carrying on a relationship with fourteen-year-old tennis phenome Sasha Parks. According to reports, Lundberg was hired by the Parks family as a consultant, helping the young star transition from amateur to the pro circuit. Evidence of an ongoing sexual relationship was discovered when the SEC seized Lundberg’s computer. Photographs and video of the girl were posted on several pay-per-download pornography websites.”
“Holy shit.” Mouth agape, Ari stares at the screen. “I should have ripped his dick off when I had the chance. That girl is just a baby.”
My head snaps from the television to Ari. “When did you have the chance?”
The one thing we have not and probably never will talk about is if she slept with anyone during that month. Some things are better left unknown. I’ve already decided I’d let it go if she did, but if she slept with that cretin, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look at her in the same way.
She glowers at me. “Not like that. When he threatened me before I left, he wasn’t wearing pants, so I gripped his dick and twisted it before I got the hell out of there.”
That explains the ice pack on his junk when I saw him later that day. She must have gotten him good.
Love To Hate You Page 40
