Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall)

by Josie Brown

A sudden thought came to her. She hesitated before saying it out loud. “Listen, if you want, I’ll sell you my stroller. For half price of course, since it’s used. It’s practically brand new, though.”

  “Wow! Really? For only six hundred?” The woman’s eyes opened wide. “But why would you do that?”

  “My mother-in-law just gave us another stroller, and I don’t want to insult her. You know how it is. But I certainly don’t need two. So, are you interested?”

  “Sold!” The woman opened her purse. “Thank goodness I went to the bank this morning.” She counted out twelve 50 dollar bills. “Will this do?”

  “Yes, of course.” It was a little less than half the retail value of the stroller, but what else could Jillian do? She needed money badly.

  She made sure to smile as she handed Bettina two of the bills.

  A friend watched the woman’s children so she could walk Jillian to her car and help her shift the twins, their dolls, blankets, and the phonebook-sized PHM&T Membership Manual, from the stroller to the backseat.

  Jillian drove away, toward the bank, to see if Scott had cleaned out their account. If so, the five hundred dollars would have to last at least until the end of the month, minus the cost of any reasonably cheap double stroller she could find on Craigslist as soon as possible.

  In the worst-case scenario, she’d be eating baby food out of jars along with the girls. But they would survive.

  Tuesday, 11 September

  Jade Pierce’s ex, Brady, was cuddling their son, Oliver, by large picture window when her airport limo rolled to a stop in front of his home. Jade could feel Brady’s eyes following her as she rose from the Lincoln Town Car and sauntered up the curved walkway toward the front door.

  For just this moment she had practiced walking in the tortoiseshell patent leather Manolo Blahnik pumps until her stride was fluid. The shoes had not been her first choice, but to her surprise, the personal dresser at Bergdorf-Goodman had nixed the pair she’d chosen: sparkly Giuseppe Zanotti multi-strapped sandals with four and a half-inch heels.

  “It’s too...well, let me put it this way—that shoe is a favorite with the ladies of the night,” the woman said.

  Figures, Jade had thought to herself.

  To drive home the point, the personal shopper pointed to the Chanel jacket she’d hung in Jade’s dressing room. “The sheer blouse you love goes perfectly with this jacket. Sexy and elegant, but not skintight.”

  Jade had almost crowed at the woman’s attempt at subtlety.

  Ha! I guess all it takes to go from whore couture to ‘sexy and elegant” is a few hundred dollars, she thought.

  That definition also worked for the pencil-straight skirt, which hugged her high, firm ass: the pay-off from eight-hour shifts, five days a week, at the Condor Club.

  That, and a chance to meet big spenders like Brady Pierce.

  Heck, she’d wear a nun’s habit if it would win Brady back.

  Her one and only goal was to be the Jade he had wanted all along.

  If she could make him believe this, they’d both get what they wanted.

  ***

  He still loves me. Jade reveled in this realization.

  This she knew, despite his hesitation to grasp the hand she held out to him.

  In spite of the guarded look in his eyes.

  What gave him away was the way in which he hugged her: so tightly, as if he were afraid to let her go. As if he were vowing to himself, Never again…

  Jade’s heart pounded hard against her chest at the blessed realization that the person she loved most in the world might have finally forgiven her. That he would want her to stay there with him, now and forever:

  Oliver.

  If only Brady felt the same way, she thought sadly.

  At least she’d always have her son’s love…

  Or would she? It might take years, but the obvious joy the little boy was now showing—the way in which he bounced and squealed in her arms—could dissipate over time, in the hot bright reality of maturity. How long would it take before the infant’s idolatry of his mother gave way to the child’s scrutiny of her emotional flaws? By the time he was a teen, would he detest her?

  Brady would make sure that he did.

  Unless he was willing to forgive her, too.

  The smile she gave Brady was filled with the confidence that he’d someday he would.

  If only he’d smile back.

  ***

  Jesus, she’s even more pathetic than I remember, Brady thought. Look how she clings to Oliver, as if he’s a life raft. At least she’s toned down the hooker hair. And the clothes aren’t so bad...

  Man, she’s got a great ass.

  That thought would have gone straight from his head to his dick, bypassing his heart entirely, if at that very moment she hadn’t smiled up at him.

  But she did. Not only that, but her lower lip was quivering, and her eyes were glazed with tears.

  So that he wouldn’t feel sorry for her—so that he wouldn’t want to take her in his arms and kiss her and strip her down and make love to her, and tell her he forgave her—he forced himself to remember that the only reason she’d come was because there was more money in it for her.

  In other words, she was the most expensive piece of ass he’d never have again.

  If he thought that would make him go soft, he was wrong. It only made him want her more.

  ***

  “I’m here because of some mommy club?” Jade couldn’t believe what she was hearing. All this time she thought he’d finally forgiven her.

  That he missed her.

  Oh hell, she could see he missed her. Why else was he rock hard?

  But he hadn’t come near her. He’d kept his distance, and his eyes were stony. Even his smile seemed carved in granite.

  “Yeah. Simple as pie,” he answered with a shrug. “Here’s the deal: I’m quadrupling your annulment payoff for the next five years.”

  “What?” Jade’s eyes opened wide.

  Brady nodded. “You heard me. For half a mil a year, you’ll take Oliver to his playgroup three mornings a week. You know, yack it up with the other moms there. In fact, make friends with these ladies. They’re a nice enough bunch.” He hoped he sounded convincing enough. Well, at least Lorna, Jillian, and Ally seemed normal. It would be a shame for them to be eliminated, but what the hell. Last man standing.

  And that man would be Oliver—if Jade could do her part and pull this off.

  “It’ll be fun, you’ll see. Sometimes the group goes on field trips. You’ll enjoy that, right? And you’ll be asked to host a get-together or two. Oh, and they have these big-ass holiday shindigs. You’ll be asked to help out at those. Whatever they want, just say ‘yes.’ Otherwise you’ll get Oliver kicked out of the club, and the deal’s off. And the big thing—any kid he likes, you can invite over here.”

  “‘Over here’? You mean, you want me to move in?”

  The hope in her voice made him wince. “Not exactly. The in-law-suite downstairs will be yours. It’s got its own kitchen and media room. And a separate entrance—”

  “So, you’re hiring me to be my own son’s nanny?” Jade pursed her lips. “That’s sick, Brady. Even for you.”

  “Sick? Hell, Jade, I thought you’d jump at the chance to be a part of your son’s life! But I guess it’s easier to take the money and stay away—”

  “No! That’s not what I meant… It’s just that…well, if I’m going to truly be a part of his life, I need to be up here. With him. With both of you.”

  “No. That’s not happening.” He shook his head adamantly. “Look, I’m just asking for three hours a day, three days a week. It ain’t brain surgery.”

  “That’s not parenting.”

  “You’re right, it isn’t. And since you’re not ready to be a parent, I guess it’s a perfect solution, wouldn’t you say?”

  Jade’s eyes grew dark with anger. “Who says I’m not ready?”

  “Seriously, you want to go th
ere? You always were a glutton for punishment. Okay, for starters, you ate junk food during your pregnancy, even though I repeatedlyasked you to stop—”

  “That nutritionist you tethered to me was a Nazi! It wasn’t as if a few Doritos and Coca-Colas could hurt the kid! I mean, come on, already, Brady—”

  “Then, after Oliver was born, you never even considered nursing—”

  “But that’s because…well, I…I thought you likedhow my breasts looked,” she said, looking down at them now.

  “I do… I mean, I did! Quit interrupting me. I’m trying to make a point here.” He closed his eyes as he shook his head. Nope, the vision of her breasts was still in his mind’s eye.

  Stay on point… Stay on point…

  “Jade, half the time you were with him, Oliver had diaper rash—because you were afraid of breaking an acrylic nail when you changed him! You rarely held him—”

  “I was always afraid I’d drop him.” She blushed at how silly the truth sounded.

  He shook his head in disbelief. “Not to mention you preferred to be out partying with those girlfriends of yours, than to stay home with him.”

  “I did stupid things, I know it now.” Jade sniffed away one tear, but another rolled onto the tip of her nose anyway. “It’s just that after the pregnancy, I wanted to feel like me again.”

  Brady shrugged. “Jade, I get it, you were twenty-one when you got pregnant with Oliver, and obviously you weren’t ready for motherhood. But Oliver can’t afford your mistakes. That last one almost cost him his life! Leaving our son while he had a fever, no less—with that creepy so-called talent manager of yours, so you could audition for some damn porn film? Our son almost died because that idiot didn’t know enough to call me, let alone take him to the emergency room. If I hadn’t come home early…” The memory of that day rolled over Brady. He had to shake his head to block it out. “Fuck it, Jade! What were you thinking?”

  The tears trickling down her cheeks were sooty with mascara. She did nothing to wipe them away.

  “I thought—I thought you didn’t love me anymore, that’s what I thought! I thought you had regretted marrying me in the first place, because you were a somebody, and I was a nobody. I thought my body was no longer pretty to you.” She swallowed hard in order to choke down the emotions that, until now, had stayed inside. “I thought that, if I did something special, if I got the role and it made me just as famous as you, that you’d—that you’d love me again.”

  Love her.

  But that that’s just it—he had never loved her.

  Lusted after her, absolutely. What man wouldn’t?

  Not that he could say that to her. He didn’t know what to say. Sure, he could string her along so she did what he asked. Hell, that would certainly save him a load of dough...

  But, no. Not this time. In the end, he’d be breaking her heart.

  He couldn’t do that again.

  He took a deep breath. “Listen, Jade. Right now the most important thing in my life is Oliver. I stopped working and sold my company to be with him. Do you know why? Because I want him to have the one thing my father couldn’t give me: time. And unlike me, I want him to finish college—a really great one, like Stanford or MIT or Harvard. But first, he has to get into some really good schools. And for that he’ll need all the right connections—which was something I never had. Hey, we’re already lucky; he has your looks, and my brains and money. But we both know the world is an ugly, cruel place, and he’ll need more than that. Good schools will motivate him to do something with the gifts he’s already been given, to make something of himself and not just piss it all away.”

  Did she get it? He couldn’t tell because she just stood there, not saying anything.

  Finally, she nodded.

  “Good. Then we’re both on the same page.” He exhaled. “This is strictly a business arrangement.”

  “You don’t get it, do you Brady? I don’t want your money. I want you. And if I can’t be part of your life, too, then I can live without being in Oliver’s. Because it will always be a package deal.”

  She was right.

  But if he let her back into his life, he’d never have the life he truly wanted.

  He remembered the sense of calm that had come over him when, finally, Jade was out of his life. Oliver was to be his sole focus. But he had also envisioned finding a partner. She’d be gorgeous, sure, but she’d also be smart and funny.

  Best of all, she’d be strong enough that she’d never question his love for her.

  And his money wouldn’t matter.

  That person could never be Jade. As much as he’d once hoped that could be the case, he’d found out the hard way that it wasn’t.

  And Oliver had almost paid the ultimate price for her thoughtlessness.

  Jade was always filled with doubts. Jade never acted; she reacted, and her instincts were wrong. Always.

  “I’m out of here.” She brushed Oliver’s curls with her lips, then practically tossed him to Brady so she could grab her bag and head for the door.

  What the fuck? No, he couldn’t let her go.

  With Oliver in tow, he started after her.

  She was almost through the foyer before he was close enough to grab her arm. He yanked her to his side. They stood there, face to face, staring at each other over Oliver’s head—

  Until he kissed her.

  The more she resisted, the harder he got.

  He hadn’t understood how desperate Jade was to be a part of his life, too—

  Until she put her hand on his dick.

  At her touch, he almost exploded.

  ***

  Brady held tight to Oliver as Jade undid his belt. Then, she took him in hand. Her fingers caressed him slowly at first, but soon they clenched him tighter, pumped him quicker. With each stroke he groaned and rocked their son in his arms. Oliver gurgled, as if it were all some game.

  He was right about that.

  And she’d won when Brady slumped into her arms.

  Within the tight cocoon of their group hug, Jade felt the rapid thumping of Brady’s heart. Oliver’s was beating even faster.

  But hers had to be pounding the loudest. Her love for Oliver knew no bounds. But neither did her love for Brady. She’d called his bluff, and it had paid off.

  She’d been doing that to men all her life.

  She would not be sleeping in the in-law suite.

  Friday, 14 September

  7:48 a.m.

  She was dreaming about Scott again.

  It was practically the same dream that always haunted Jillian right before she woke up: they were both still in college, and he’d skipped class one morning so they could linger in bed after sex. Back then their lovemaking was furtive, as if every second were precious. Really it was, since his classes were on an earlier schedule than her waitressing shifts.

  In the dream, Scott’s kisses had just given way to penetration with his very large thumb and forefinger. Jillian could feel herself getting wetter, and he seemed to grow large in her hand. She whispered in his ear that he should come inside her NOW! OH PLEASE NOW. He nodded and heaved himself over her. He was huge and hard when he entered her. So huge that she moaned in pain—

  In joy.

  And then her cell phone buzzed.

  She was so shocked to hear it, she fell out of bed with a thump.

  “Mama up up! Mama up up!” The twins squealed in unison.

  As she sat there on the floor, her eyes moved upward toward the bed—no Scott, of course.

  Just that damn buzzing phone on the nightstand.

  “Who is it?” She wondered if the shame she felt emanated through the ethersphere that enveloped all 21st Century technology.

  “The judicial hearing takes place this morning, at eleven o’clock.” It was Jillian’s attorney, Lutz. “Sorry for such short notice, but they rang my assistant at five yesterday to say they had an opening. Considering your financial status, she was sure you’d want us to take it.”

/>   “Yes! Of course.” Lutz’s prediction in that very first meeting had been right. Before Jillian could stop him, Scott had wiped out all of their joint checking and savings accounts and had cancelled all the credit cards.

  With each unanswered call by her soon-to-be ex husband, Jillian had gotten more anxious.

  Well, now it was time to see what the courts could do about it.

  “Glad you’re game, Jillian. Now, to make our point that you need money as soon as possible, I’d suggest you show up with your kids.”

  She pulled the cell phone away from her ear, as if staring at it might make Lutz, and the divorce, and Victoria, all go away…

  And Scott would come back to her. Wishful thinking.

  Her lust for Scott dissipated in the sun’s bright glare emanating through the bedroom window. “But—but I can’t today! We’ve got our mom-and-tots group meeting—”

  “You’re kidding me, right? You’d ruin your chance at child support and alimony, for a play date? Lady, this is your children’s future!”

  He was right.

  Bettina would just have to understand.

  But no, Bettina would not understand. Bettina would make her leave the club.

  “I—I get it. I’ll be there.” She hung up, then went to her bookshelf and found the PHM&T manual she’d received at the inaugural meet-up and turned to the page marked EMERGENCIES, where Bettina’s phone number was listed. Her hand was trembling as she punched the numbers into her cell.

  “Yes?” Bettina’s voice was curt.

  “Hi, Bettina, it’s Jillian Frederick, in the Onesies. I am so sorry, but Addison, Amelia, and I won’t be at meet-up today—”

  “Oh?”

  That one word syllable was all it took for Jillian to lose her cool. “Yes! Well…you see, we—the girls are…sick!”

  “Oh.” Bettina’s silence seemed to go on forever. “Well then, I commend you for keeping them home. The manual clearly states that the sick and infirm are not, under any circumstances, to attend. The last thing the club would want is a pandemic on its hands.”