The Click Trilogy
Page 3
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Hello there
Hi there PRGal. My name is Kevin. I was checking out the site this morning and came across your profile. You seem like a really smart and outgoing person. As for me, I’m originally from Nebraska and have been living in LA for two years. I moved out here to try my luck at movies and ended up doing personal training for celebrities. But I got a bit fed up with the egos. So now I work as a counselor for Outward Adventure programs, which take at-risk youth, corporate teams and others on outdoor adventures. It’s great to enjoy the sunshine and see how the challenges of nature and teamwork can change someone’s life. When I’m not working, I’m usually working out, playing sports or taking a bike ride. I’m looking for someone who is going to be the perfect compliment to me. Check out my profile and see what you think. Will look forward to hearing back from you.
From: Renee Greene – January 18, 2011 – 9:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Fwd: Hello there
Well, things seem to be improving a bit. Got this email. He seems VERY ACTIVE, which is so not me. I don’t see him sitting around watching a “Law & Order” marathon with me while I eat frosting from a can, which as you know is my idea of a good night. And, he has a grammatical error. I’m sure he meant to say he’s looking for a “complement” to himself, not for someone to “compliment” him. That sounds more like Derrick. Yes, still bitter after a year, but what can I say? I do hold a grudge. Hey, but at least this Kevin guy is local. I’m getting closer. I’ll let him down gently.
From: Shelley Manning – January 18, 2011 – 11:44 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Hello there
He’s hot. I bet he looks awesome without a shirt on. You should go out with him. Just because you guys are different doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. And, did I mention that he’s hot? Okay, so forgot to tell you, the Cuddler and I are no more. He’s a sweet guy but I’ve already had my fun and now it’s time to move on. He hinted the same thing. Plus, I think he’s been burned by a work affair before and seems gun shy about getting hurt again.
From: Renee Greene – January 18, 2011 – 11:59 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Hello there
Poor Cuddler. When you give his sensitive booty the boot, I bet he’ll cry. HA! HA! I bet he will run home crying to his mommy. He probably shops at WimpsRUs. I could go on, but onto more important matters.
Well, Kevin may indeed be hot, and I could be tempted to take a peek at the pecs, but no. I know it would not work out, so I’m going to let him know that we just don’t seem to have a lot in common. I can’t go out with someone when I know there isn’t a possibility for a future.
From: Shelley Manning – January 18, 2011 – 12:07 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Hello there
Hilarious! But seriously sweetie. The Cuddler is not THAT bad. He was actually a great guy who just happened to enjoy the lingering cuddle and occasional spoon.
But, I love the jokes. Keep ‘em coming. And, speaking of keeping ‘em coming, I have a hot date tonight. Gotta get some work done for the evil corporate trolls. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Mark Finlay – January 18, 2011 – 3:00 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Hello there
Let ‘em down gently there, tiger.
From: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981 – January 18, 2011 – 4:02 PM
To: meet@choosejews.com/OutdoorDude
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Hello there
Thanks so much for your email, Kevin. I did look through your profile. You seem like a really nice guy. And you also seem like you’re looking for someone to share your love of the outdoors, interest in sports and thrill for adventure. I just don’t think we’re a right fit for each other. I’m really not the outdoorsy/active type. Good luck meeting someone else, though. I’m sure the perfect gal is out there waiting for you.
From: Mark Finlay – January 18, 2011 – 5:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Renee is turning six (and two dozen)
No problem. Just trying to help her get over this ridiculous fear of turning 30. I just logged on and read three separate reviews of Alex’s and it sounds great. See you then.
From: Shelley Manning – January 18, 2011 – 6:30 PM
Bcc:
Subject: Renee’s Birthday
Here’s the plan for Renee’s birthday celebration. Meet at my place (Melrose near Highland, Apt. B) at 8:00 on Friday the 28th for a pre-dinner cocktail. We have a reservation at Alex’s for 9:00. Come dressed WEST HOLLYWOOD CHIC. Let’s be ready to celebrate our dear friend Renee’s birthday in style.
From: Renee Greene – January 18, 2011 – 6:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Renee’s Birthday
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I can’t believe you got us a table at Alex’s. I thought that place had a waiting list for months. You are wonderful and I’m very excited to celebrate with you guys. And thank you for being subtle about the dress code. I know you were really holding back.
From: meet@choosejews.com/OutdoorDude – January 20, 2011 – 2:45 PM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Reconsider?
I don’t understand why you don’t think we would get along. I don’t think you should be so quick to judge without getting to know me.
From: Renee Greene – January 20, 2011 – 2:54 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Reconsider?
Okay, Shelley. I tried to be nice when I got his email and politely explained that we aren’t a right fit. I mean everything in his profile screamed of sports and outdoors. That is just so not me. And, this is the response I get. I don’t know what to say back. Help?
From: Shelley Manning – January 20, 2011 – 3:43 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Reconsider?
You, judgmental? You are the least judgmental person I know. Now, if he were emailing Miss Priss, that would be different. (Sorry. Couldn’t help it. I promise I’ll be good tomorrow night.) Just ignore it. You don’t want to get into a whole thing with this guy.
From: Renee Greene – January 20, 2011 – 3:54 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Reconsider?
Yes, please behave tomorrow. I just want to have a fun, peaceful evening. All right. I just won’t respond to his message.
From: Ashley Price – January 21, 2011 – 4:01 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Renee’s Birthday
Dinner at Alex’s. Should be interesting based on all that I’ve heard about the place. I don’t have any friends who have been there yet. Not really their type of place. But, should be fine. And of course, excited to celebrate Renee’s birthday in style. She deserves it. Please make me a “plus one” as Evan is going to join us. Thanks.
From: Ashley Price – January 21, 2011 – 4:04 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Renee’s Birthday
And I must say it is better than Pizza Party Zone. You know I love Mark, but what was he thinking? Like any of us would ever set foot into a restaurant that has a big frog as a mascot. Puh-lease!
And before you say anything, I talked to Evan and he promised that things would be different this time. He said he just got a bit scared because we were getting so serious. But he’s really ready to commit.
I know, I know what you are going to say. But really, I mean where do you meet single men these days? Coffee houses have gotten so passé. A co-worker has been playing her hand at finding someone online. Can you imagine? How desperate must you be to resort to computer dating? How do you know that the man you are talking to really isn’t some bored housewife in Tulsa or some teenager in Shreveport? O
n the Internet, no one is who they seem.
I know Evan isn’t perfect. But I just know things will be better this time.
From: Renee Greene – January 21, 2011 – 5:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: Renee’s Birthday
This is why I don’t want Ashley to know about my foray into the world of online dating. So, please, please PLEASE remember not to mention ANYTHING on Saturday night. I’ll tell Mark the same.
From: Renee Greene – January 21, 2011 – 5:22 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Loose Lips
Hey there. Just a quick reminder not to mention anything about the online dating stuff at dinner on Saturday. Just want to keep this a little secret between you, me and Shelley. The rest of the world can find out on my wedding day ;)
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2011 – 9:30 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Renee’s Birthday
No problem. Mum’s the word. And what does Miss Priss mean that eligible men won’t be at Alex’s? It is only THE hottest restaurant in town. But, what would she know about what’s in? I was so tempted to explain to Miss Priss that “Hollywood Chic” means no pearls, no skirts to the shin and no lace collars. However, leather dog collars are fine, even encouraged. How much do you want to bet she comes dressed like a nun on holiday?
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2011 – 12:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Renee’s Birthday
Be nice! You know she’s been my friend since grade school and although we are very different, she is a good person.
From: Mark Finlay – January 24, 2011 – 3:46 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Loose Lips
You got it. Not a word shall be uttered from my lips. See you at Shelley’s place.
From: Shelley Manning – January 24, 2011 – 4:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Renee’s Birthday
I will be on my best behavior. I promise. And if I don’t, maybe Sister Priss, the Nun will crack my knuckles with a ruler. Okay, that was the last one. I promise. Mwah! Mwah!
From: meet@choosejews.com/OutdoorDude – January 25, 2011 – 6:03 PM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: Courtesy of a Response!
What, you think you’re so high and mighty you don’t even need to respond to an email? Well, I can tell you who you are. A snobby bitch. That’s who.
From: Renee Greene – January 25, 2011 – 6:05 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Courtesy of a Response!
All right. This is getting just a little freaky.
From: Shelley Manning – January 25, 2011 – 6:09 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Courtesy of a Response!
Yikes. Talk about a psycho. Just ignore it.
From: meet@choosejews.com/OutdoorDude – January 28, 2011 – 9:03 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: SCREW YOU!
You cunt. You don’t even give people the courtesy of responding.
From: Renee Greene – January 28, 2011 – 9:05 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: SCREW YOU!
What a way to celebrate my birthday. Okay, I’m printing out these emails and putting them in a folder in between my mattress and box spring. If anything suspicious ever happens to me, take them to the police. I’m serious. This is really starting to FUH-REAK ME OUT!
Chapter 3 – Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser?
From: Renee Greene – January 29, 2011 – 11:36 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: 30 Rocks!
Thank you! Thank you! I can’t tell you what a pleasant experience turning 30 was. First of all, I GOT CARDED! Hurrah. Not a worry about turning 30 when the waiter thinks I’m 20. All I can say is thank goodness for fine line preventer. That stuff is the skin elixir of the gods.
Thank you also for my present. I love the earrings. All of the fashion magazines say chandelier earrings were the new big thing, so I’m glad to be in the midst of the fashion curve, rather than hopelessly behind, like I usually am.
I so appreciate all you did to make my day fun, special and pain free. You’re the best.
From: Renee Greene – January 29, 2011 – 11:52 AM
To: Ashley Price
Subject: Thanks
Hey there. Just wanted to pop you a note to thank you again for coming out the other night for my birthday. It meant a lot that you were there. It’s hard to believe we’ve been friends for 22 years. Who would have believed that Mrs. Brett’s 3rd grade class would have turned out to be so worthwhile?
By the way, speaking of Mrs. Brett, I forgot to tell you that I bumped into Danny Newbridge the other day at the grocery store. He looks EXACTLY the same…just taller.
He’s a lawyer now. Who would have guessed that someone who didn’t do his “future city” project and failed third grade would have turned out okay? But I digress.
Thanks again for coming and thank you for the floral shawl. It’s really lovely.
From: Renee Greene – January 29, 2011 – 11:58 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Pat-a-Cake, Pat-a-Cake, Baker’s Woman!
I can’t wait to start baking. Thanks so much for the basket of baking stuff…new sifter, measuring cups and spoons, cookbook, etc. I’m not sure if you got me all of this because you know I love to bake, or because you love to eat the fruits (or should I say cookies?) of my labor. Regardless, I really love it and know I will get a TON of use out of it all.
From: Mark Finlay – January 29, 2011 – 2:20 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Pat-a-Cake, Pat-a-Cake, Baker’s Woman!
I’m so glad you like the basket. Now, I don’t want to say I don’t enjoy the – what did you call it? – fruits or cookies of your labor. You know I love your chocolate chip cookies. But I really wanted you to have something that you would enjoy and would use. I talked to both your parents and your sister to make sure I was getting the right kind of sifter and other “instruments.” Happy baking!
From: Shelley Manning – January 31, 2011 – 9:06 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: 30 Rocks!
I’m so glad you had a good time on Saturday. It was such a fun night and I knew the minute I saw those earrings, you had to have them. They’ll look great with your hair pulled back. You deserve to be on the cutting edge. None of this talk about the tail end of fashion trends. Repeat after me…I AM A FASHION DIVA! I AM SUPERMODEL RENEE!
As far as this psycho is concerned, he doesn’t know your name, address or phone number. He doesn’t even know your real email address. Just ignore it.
From: Ashley Price – January 31, 2011 – 10:45 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Thanks
I’m so glad you like the shawl. I just figured it was something very classic and timeless that you could wear with a nice pair of slacks and a blouse, or a dress. I’m glad your birthday was a success. Crazy about Danny Newbridge. Would have NEVER guessed that he would amount to anything. Good for him. So, is he single? Married?
From: Renee Greene – January 31, 2011 – 11:58 AM
To: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Thanks
He’s married with two kids who look just like him, too. Weird.
From: Ashley Price – January 31, 2011 – 12:01 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Thanks
Of course he’s married. Everyone has found someone except for me. Oh, did I mention that Evan and I broke up after your birthday dinner. I’m going to die an old maid.
From: Renee Greene – January 31, 2011 – 12:04 PM
To: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Thanks
Hey now. Not everyone is married. I’m single. Shelley’s sing
le. Buck up! You will find someone and when you do, it will be special and wonderful and just what you deserve.
From: Ashley Price – January 31, 2011 – 12:14 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Thanks
Well, I’m not surprised Shelley’s single. She seems to go through men like I go through – well I was going to make some rude analogy. But far be it from me to make a judgmental comment. Well, I wonder why you are single. You are such a kind and caring person. And, when you remember to get an eyebrow wax, your eyes totally pop. You’ll find someone too. I’m certain of that. I have to go. Have a meeting with the boss.
From: meet@choosejews.com/CSUMD1008 – January 31, 2011 – 9:12 AM
To: meet@choosejews.com/PRGal1981
Subject: You seem interesting
Hi there. Loved your profile. I, too, like to sing off key in the car. But instead, I spend most of my time as a medical resident with a small hospital in Long Beach. My name is Brandon and I’m originally from Orange County. I just finished medical school in San Diego and started my residency in Long Beach. I should warn you that I do work some crazy hours (36 hour shifts!) and have to sleep at the hospital every fifth night (taking in ER admissions and delivering babies), but I am trying to balance work with a social life. Hoping you’ll be intrigued enough by my profile and email back. Thanks.
From: Renee Greene – January 31, 2011 – 9:18 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Fwd: You seem interesting
Read below. Could it be? Have I hit the Jewish Mother trifecta – nice…Jewish…doctor?
From: Shelley Manning – January 31, 2011 – 10:22 AM