The Click Trilogy
Page 65
From: Shelley Manning – May 24, 2014 – 8:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rockin' a tux?
I think that's wonderful, Sweetie. And while I do like the idea of me walking you down the aisle wearing nothing at all, I don't want to distract everyone's attention from the bride. That just wouldn't be cool.
From: Renee Greene – May 24, 2014 – 8:25 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rockin' a tux?
And that's exactly the reason we aren't going that direction.
From: Shelley Manning – May 24, 2014 – 8:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rockin' a tux?
I figured. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 8:32 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Tell me!
Tell me.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 10:14 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Tell me!
I know I said I didn't want to know. But I do. Tell me.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 11:45 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
C'mon. This is driving me crazy. You know my type-A personality can't hold out any longer. Tell me.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:02 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Please. Tell me, please.
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:03 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
That's the magic word.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:04 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
You're kidding me, right? You've been waiting for me to say "please."
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:05 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Just be glad I didn't make you say, “pretty please with a cherry on top.”
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:07 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
You are so juvenile. Did you pull that crap with your sisters? No wonder they called you PITA.
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:09 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
For someone who wants something from me, you're not being very nice.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:11 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
You're right. I apologize. And I say, "pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top." Now tell me!
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:13 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Okay. Drumroll please (or should I say “pretty pretty please with a cherry on top”)…Australia. We are going to Australia.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:14 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Squee! I have always wanted to go to Australia!
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
I know. That's why I planned that for our honeymoon, silly.
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:15 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
More. Tell me more.
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
We fly to Sydney and will spend 2 days there. I figured we could walk around the city, visit the Opera House, etc. We then have a few days in Melbourne to do wine tastings at some local wineries. From there, we fly up to Cairns to visit the Great Barrier Reef. I have a tour set up for us to go snorkeling. (Don't worry. I've already purchased some sea sickness medicine for you.)
After two days, we take a small plane (don't freak out!) to a small resort called Lizard Island. It's a private island with only 40 suites. There's only one restaurant (5 stars!) on the island and no telephones or TVs. There is one highly-rated spa and you're set for a day of pampering. I've also arranged for us to get a boat ride to a small private stretch of beach where we will dine on a picnic lunch and a bottle of wine. Aside from that, we'll lounge, hike, relax, read and other things people typically do on their honeymoons. So?
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:28 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
I'm absolutely speechless, which as you know is a big deal. I'm just stunned at how perfect this is.
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
I thought you would be pleased. You're not sorry now that I told you…that it's not a surprise?
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:32 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Of course not. I'm surprised right now. You're fantastic. Thank you! And please don't ever stop surprising me.
From: PBCupLover – May 28, 2014 – 12:33 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
You mean “pretty pretty please with a cherry on top”, right?
From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2014 – 12:34 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tell me!
Right. Love you. XO
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 10:42 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: One step forwards, two steps back?
So I got weighed and measured at Curves today as part of their regularl check ins. I've lost 7 pounds, 10 inches and a bunch of body fat. Wahoo! All of my new friends were so excited for me. I celebrated with a cupcake. One step forward, two steps back?
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 10:50 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Congrats on being such a loser. (Betcha never thought you'd hear me say that?) I'm so proud of you. I could tell that you had lost some weight the last time I saw you. But I know one of your "life lessons" is to not tell someone they've lost weight. You might have noticed that I kept telling you how great you looked.
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 10:53 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
I did notice that, thank you. And I will take all of the compliments I can get.
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 10:57 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
You're taking a compliment? When you lost the pounds, you must have also shed the
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:03 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
The old ladies at Curves are quite the talkative bunch. I don't think they have much else going on, so they just gossip and chit chat during their workout. As much as I've tried to avoid eye contact and conversation, they've focused their cataract-corrected eyes on me. Now we're all pals.
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:06 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
As you would say with a tinge of paranoia in your voice, "Don't go finding a new bestie." ;)
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:10 AM
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Ha! Ha! Yes, Louise, the 75-year-old ringleader of our little group is quite the vixen. Her stories are legendary. And the nicknames she gives her men – Viagra Victor, Saggy-skin Stanley and Heart Condition Harry – are beyond compare.
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Good. I knew I didn't have to worry. Now, on to that celebratory cupcake…
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:14 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
I thought you were going to let that slide…
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:17 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
I can't in good conscience not chastise you a tiny bit for that. Shame! Shame! Seriously Sweetie, I think it's fine to indulge a little every once in a while. Charles Schulz once said, "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:19 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Awww. Did you remember that from our trip to the Charles Schulz museum last year?
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
No. I just Googled "inspirational food quotes" to come up with something to make you feel better.
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:23 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Find anything else that help me justify the lifestyle I want but my body can't sustain?
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:25 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Just keep doing what you're doing…eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, drinking one glass of wine a night…etc. You're gonna do great.
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:26 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
One glass of wine, huh?
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:28 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Yes! I give you permission to have one glass of wine daily, which provides great health benefits.
From: Renee Greene – June 3, 2014 – 11:31 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
And what do the other glasses of wine a night provide? Increasing confidence and acceptance of my curvy figure? Tolerance of Ethan's dance moves? Witty and comedic comebacks to snarky comments?
From: Shelley Manning – June 3, 2014 – 11:33 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One step forwards, two steps back?
Ha-Larious! All of the above! Gotta run, Sweetie. I'll see you in a few days for your bachelorette party. Save some room for the mojitos!
Chapter 28 – Oh, What a Night
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 4:32 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Information vacuum
I know NOTHING about the bachelorette party that Shelley planned for me tonight. She has rebuffed every inquiry I've made and has put nothing in writing so there's nothing I can beg Ashley to send to me. She's threatened her with some sort of awful retribution if she even reveals anything to me. I've got to admit it. I'm a little scared. I also know NOTHING about the bachelor party that is being thrown in your honor this evening. That, too, has me a bit worried.
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 4:39 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
FDR said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Although he hung out with Churchill who was quite the boozer, he never met Shelley. Seriously, I'm sure she's just doing this to throw you off a bit. I'm sure it will be fine. More than fine. I'm sure it will be fun. As for me, I don't know what the guys have planned for me either. And since I don't know what it is, I can't be held responsible for what they plan, right?
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 4:43 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
Hmmm. Billy the Kid is throwing you a bachelor party and you don't want to be responsible for what might occur there?
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 4:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
Well, when you put it that way, it does sound pretty bad, huh? By the same token, Shelley is planning your soiree.
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 4:46 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
Booze, bimbos and strippers, oh my!
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 4:47 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
Sounds about right. But seriously, you have nothing to worry about.
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 4:49 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
I know. I trust you. And I trust myself. Let's make a pact to tell each other everything – no secrets. Okay?
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 4:53 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Information vacuum
Works for me. I've got to get the last of this work done so I can go and enjoy myself tonight. Have fun and I'll look for an email later. Love you, Babe.
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 7:35 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Oh what a night!
Where are you? Shelley had a limo come by and it was filled with all of my friends including a few from college that flew in for the weekend. We're now at Flint's. She rented the whole place out. Having a blast. Hope you are too.
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 8:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
We're at Slab. Before you get your knickers in a twist, it's a new steak house in Beverly Hills. The only meat I'm planning to indulge in is a 16 oz bone-in ribeye wrapped in bacon. Mmmm.
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 8:53 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
First off, Shelley wants to know why you are eating bacon when you’re Jewish.
Wish I could say the same. Shelley hired a male stripper to come to Flint's disguised as a waiter. I'm hiding in the bathroom right now because I am just so flustered. It was…awkward! He started off making small talk and congratulating me on my upcoming nuptials. Then he said he had a surprise for me.
The music turned on and apparently he was too. He started dancing and gyrating. I was so uncomfortable and so was everyone else there...except Shelley. He kept grinding up against my friends and they kept backing up or moving away.
Then he ripped off his velcro pants to show a gold g-string. He was waving his junk all around. Again, the only person that seemed to be enjoying it all was Shelley. When the music stopped, he took a bow and then I figured he would leave.
But he just stood there chatting with us while putting his velcro pants back on. He had to readjust them several times to make sure the two sides were aligned properly. I don't think I'll ever be able to hear that ripping sound again without shuddering. Oh no! Shelley's coming. Gotta go.
From: PBCupLover – June 7, 2014 – 10:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Tell Shelley, when it comes to food, I’m Je
w”ish” not Jewish.
Next, what you're saying is that I should return the gold g-string and velcro pants I was planning on wearing to bed on our wedding night? Will do!
We're at a cigar bar right now enjoying some Cubans that William managed to smuggle into the country on his last trip to the Caribbean. Combine that with a 35 year old Scotch and I'm one happy man.
From: Renee Greene – June 7, 2014 – 11:12 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Oh, shoot. Here come the shots!
From: PBCupLover – June 8, 2014 – 1:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Just got to Bon Bons – a seedy strip club in Hollywood. A guy in the bathroom asked me if I had any cocaine. WTF!?!
From: Renee Greene – June 8, 2014 – 1:14 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Not too far away at the Rainbow Revolver, the gay dance bar in West Hollywood. I've never had so much fun in my life!!!
From: PBCupLover – June 8, 2014 – 1:39 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Don't judge me if I come home covered in glitter.
From: Renee Greene – June 8, 2014 – 2:04 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
I so drink right now djl goin to bed I lovee yu. Slj;fa
From: PBCupLover – June 8, 2014 – 2:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Oh what a night!
Ath Kays Diner eating bacon. so much bacon. Mmmmmmm be home soon
From: Shelley Manning – June 8, 2014 – 9:13 AM