Scary Modsters... and Creepy Freaks: A Rock and Roll Fantasy (The Rock And Roll Fantasy Collection)

by Diane Rinella

  I take a place on the bed. My hand's energy caresses Rosalyn's chin as I remember how I felt when I first professed my love to her. "I will never forget that moment in my existence, just like I will never forget you, Jane."

  His words stun me. Languidly my mind pieces together enough fragments of thoughts to process the moment. Why is he calling me Jane? It doesn't seem the least bit alien but more like a childhood nickname that has been long forgotten.

  The energy from Peter's touch on my chin has me enraptured while he speaks of the day we met. At the mention of the sketches Jane had on her wall I look to my own and my breath locks in awe. Next he tells of the house they shared as if he were reminiscing with her and not relaying the story. Memories flash before me, coming from somewhere much deeper than the recesses of my brain. Smiles and chuckles burst forth at the recollection of happy moments I never experienced. At the mention of his proposal, tears of happiness seep into my eyes and my finger runs over where an engagement ring would be, expecting to touch a smooth stone. The comfort of acceptance runs up my spine. "Round cut," I say, "with a very smooth surface. Set in gold with little rubies on each side with diamonds next to those. Why rubies?"

  Peter swallows hard as we both accept my knowledge that his words are true. "Because they were my mother's favorite. I wanted to give you and our children everything I never had growing up, and that was my way of saying I was going to see to it."

  Finally part of my inner madness becomes clear. "This is why you make me feel the way you do. It's because I'm her. It's also why whenever I'm in a car and get near an embankment my body tenses." My spine locks with a bitter chill. My arms wrap around me while I recall the sensation of soaring and fear of hitting the ground. "Because I'm completely terrified of going over the edge."

  Peter reaches out to pull me close, but the act is so futile it causes physical ache. My tears flow in mourning of the loss of my love decades before. "Here, luv," he says while lying where a scrunched up pillow sits. I curl against the pillow, and the tremors of sadness that have quaked through me quell. "Jane, would you take me back right now if I could find a way to be in the flesh?"

  His tone is as bold as his words. The question seems silly. Would I take back a ghost from a part of my past that is so distant that it didn't exist in this lifetime, if he were alive? "I—I'm not sure."

  "Let me guess," he says. "Niles."

  "Yes," I utter while completely confused. Again I wonder how I can have such a mishmash of emotions for a man who doesn't exist and a man who's living but may somehow be half dead.

  "Rosalyn, there's something you need to know about Niles and I."

  Him Or Me (What's It Gonna Be?)

  "You did what!" Oh, I so want to let Peter have it! "This whole thing with Niles and his emotions isn't just in his head, and it's all because of you? You creepy little bastard! How could you do that to him?"

  Peter stands overtly erect to drive home the point that in his mind it was simply something that had to be done. "I didn't just do it to him. I did it to myself as well. Do you really think I enjoyed being locked away in blackness for all those decades simply because I sent Niles off on his own? Do you know how many drunken idiots tried to summon me without success?"

  "Oh, pity for you. What about poor Niles? How could you steal a man's ability to love and still face yourself?" How dare he? And how dare I? I didn't think possible to feel more shame for what happened with the three of us, but now … I just can't see myself in any better of a light than I see Peter, a man who selfishly hoarded a person's most precious gift.

  "I had no choice. Besides, Niles got to keep all the desire for the lovey, dovey stuff that gets in the way. Not that it's of much use to him."

  I have to remind myself I am not a person of violence else I'm gonna ring his freaking neck! "Did you also get rid of that pesky little voice that tells you to act with logic and reason? If you hadn't been so foolish, you would've been reincarnated. Then, if you are my soul mate—like you claim—we would be together in a normal relationship. But no, you had to play the idiot male who wants revenge. You squandered away a great relationship for us, not that I'd have anything to do with you now anyway, and not to mention the fact you ruined life for Niles."

  "I had to. His self-righteous morality wouldn't let me handle this."

  "You mean your conscience wouldn't have allowed it."

  "Boy, you really are my lovely, nagging wife. If you would just help me convince Niles to—"

  Can I please go back to when I thought Peter was a figment of my imagination? "Are you out of your mind? Part of the reason I feel the way I do about him is because of who he is. You get him to play along, and I'll have nothing to do with either of you."

  I should've known. Jane would've reacted exactly the same way. "But if you help me, Niles can be whole again."

  "If you can magically fix this once that Stoddard guy is dead, you can magically fix it now. However, if you involve Niles in something dastardly, I won't have anything to do with either of you. Find a better way to help him, or you're both out of my life forever!"

  If it were that easy, I would have done it the moment I realized Jane stood before me, but when you make a deal to have your soul split off, you can't easily merge it back. I had to do some serious convincing of The Big Guy's minions that I was the one to deal out Stoddard's karma. Now I have to get Stoddard to admit to my murder. Without that I don't get to merge back. If I don't finish before Stoddard dies, the deal is off—meaning Niles and I will be forever parted. If Jane learns it could be irreversible, she'll never forgive me.

  I Don't Know How To Be Your Friend

  The law firm of Elliott, Asher, and Barton LLP is so immense that just their reception area, conference rooms, and executive offices dominate the top floor of one of Los Angeles's biggest buildings. Though the worst I've ever done is gotten a speeding ticket, knowing that I am surrounded by floor upon floor of lawyers is discomforting.

  Actually, law has nothing to do with it. At this moment I am a guppy in an ocean of people who have true careers. I've got to pull my life together.

  People whizzing by almost knock me over as I exit the elevator and head toward a bright-eyed, blonde receptionist. Her perfect features glow. She reminds me of a Hollywood starlet, meaning she looks a little … pre-fabricated, yet I can't help but notice how comfortable she seems in her skin. "Can I help you?" she asks.

  The could-be starlet has a figure designed to put girls like me in their places. She looks at my vintage, nineteen seventy-one ensemble, a lavender mini-skirt, white lace blouse, and gold chain belt like it's a joke. She then takes a second look as if she is questioning if I am the fashionable one and maybe she missed a memo somewhere. Next she tries to hide the fact that internally she is shaking her head, and that flash of awkwardness that hits me from time to time makes an appearance. Dad's words enter my ears as if he is standing next to me. "Always be true to the amazing person you are." Despite the fact my jealousy toward her self-assuredness is intimidating I force a smile of pride.

  "Hi. Is Niles Barton in today?"

  "Do you have an appointment?" As I open my mouth to answer, she interrupts. "Oh, you're the one in the photo. Rosalyn, right? His girlfriend. Lemme call Doris and see if he's in."

  I'm taken aback. He actually thought of me as his girlfriend? Guilt over my actions with Peter flares again. After his big reveal three days ago I guess it's kind of obvious why Niles never made a declaration. I had reasons not to as well, yet in his own way Niles dared to move forward in hope. I wish I had his strength. Now I both hate myself and love him more than ever.

  A woman of about fifty, with short brown, somewhat poofy, over-sprayed hair enters the lobby. She sports a maternal air that brings me instant comfort. "Rosalyn? Hi, I'm Doris. I guess you didn't know Niles decided to take today off. Can I leave a message?"

  Pangs of guilt hit my stomach. He didn't answer the door when I swung by his house a few minutes ago. I don't blame him for being in
full-on avoidance mode. I really did it this time. "No, I'm sorry to bother you," I say. My arms drop to my side, and I pick up a foot to leave with my tail between my legs, much like I feel my head is up my ass.

  "Actually, Rosalyn. Can I speak with you for a moment please?" Doris's expression reminds me of whenever Dad needed to tell me something that was going to hurt. I nod and follow her. We pass numerous young people who flutter about. Many of them are pretty, young girls. Doris guides me into a private office and motions me past a sofa and coffee table. She invites me to sit behind a large, walnut desk with two cushy chairs before it. Though I'm kind of nervous over what this lady has to say, the funky splashes of green and purple in the tidy office put me a little at ease.

  Doris takes a chair across from me. Her discomfort is reflected when she pauses to watch her twiddling thumbs. "Look, this is none of my business, but …" Now I get a straight on look. "Niles is very special to me. He's usually sharp as a tack, but yesterday his brain was completely muddy, and he spent nearly the entire day staring at the walls. We even saw him talking to himself for a while. Notice how empty his desk is. Nothing ever sat on it that wasn't absolutely necessary for work. When you entered his life he started adding things that reminded him there was a world outside of this one. Yesterday morning he threw it all in the drawer. Rosalyn, before he met you, all he ever talked about was work and occasionally one of the classes he takes at night to fight off boredom. However, Niles talks about you every chance he gets. He's excited to have someone to share himself with. I know he struggles with some differences, but please, whatever it is that happened between the two of you, I hope you try to work it out."

  My eyes can't stop circling the office. It's a far cry from his lively media room, which is the one place where he feels the truth lies. Does that mean he thinks the rest of his world represents a lie, or is his world so cruel he has to keep happiness confined to ensure that no one messes with the little good he feels he has? In some ways Niles is my polar opposite, yet he's exactly like me. I try to keep my happiness around me, but I do guard that which is most personal. It's like Niles and I are intertwined.

  Doris puts on a show of crossing her legs and stroking her chin as if having a secret and profound thought. "Hmm … Anytime things go bad with Niles he visits his mom …"

  "Doris, you wouldn't happen to have an address that I could accidentally find sitting around somewhere would you?"

  "Well, since you just happen to come into the office, you might also just happen to stop by my desk, and his mom's address might just happen to be sitting out. Or at least it will be if you give me a thirty-second head start. It was really nice meeting you, Rosalyn. I hope to see you again soon."

  A lady with green eyes and over-sprayed brown hair, dressed in jeans and a no-frills green blouse, answers the door of the Diamond Bar home. "Rosalyn!" she nearly squeals. She seems so happy that I swear her teeth are sparkling. Meanwhile I stand here like an idiot. Everybody Niles knows seems to recognize me, thus making the confusing love I feel for him deepen.

  "Yes. Hi. I'm sorry to bother you, but Doris thought I might be able to find Niles here."

  I didn't think it possible for her smile to grow brighter, but I stand corrected. "So he didn't call you? You're here on your own?"

  Her excitement gives me the comfort of a short shoulder rub. It makes me feel that arriving unannounced wasn't as rude as I feared. "Yes, I'm sorry to be intrusive. Something kind of happened the other day, and … I know I should respect his privacy but …"

  "Don't be silly, honey. You've done exactly the right thing." I'm welcomed into the house. Well, more like dragged through it and tossed out the back door while getting a quick pep talk. "I'm so glad you are here. My boy hasn't been this miserable in a long time."

  My boy. Oh, that's just so sweet it almost hurts.

  Just short of letting me out the door she stops and looks me dead in the eyes. "Rosalyn, what he told you is real. He's not dangerous. He just can't see the world as fully as we can. It causes him to do and say hurtful things sometimes. Trust me, he's a good man."

  In the far corner of the lush yard lies a patch of dead grass topped by a nineteen sixty-nine Camaro with a pair of legs sticking out from underneath. The sound of a turning ratchet and an old boom box blaring Moby Grape both bring music to my ears. My heart smiles as I remember hearing how Niles's grandparents were hippies and thinking about the musical influence they obviously had. Hell, most people of the proper generation don't know of the legendary Skip Spence running around like a madman with a fire axe. Ah, the beauty of LSD and hotel rooms. Makes The Who look sad.

  From behind the garage I peer at the pathetic sod. He looks pitiful under that car. All that moping and sighing shows he's weakening. Now might be an excellent time.

  I start to hone in on my target when Rosalyn appears. Bugger! What is she doing here?

  My feet shuffle through the grass with hesitation over having no clue what to say, yet my heart races with anticipation over seeing Niles again. This man having few friends is senseless. I can't imagine anyone not loving Niles.

  Through the hoses and wires attached to the car's engine I gaze upon his face. My emotions may still have moments of being pushed back into a haze by fear, but my feelings toward the situation are obvious. It sucks, and even though it's just been a few days I miss him so much I feel incomplete.

  "Hey," I say loudly enough to be heard above the music. His ratcheting stops. Niles twists to look through the gap between the engine and the wall. His face softens in disbelief before he crawls out from underneath and squints up to me with the sun beaming down into his eyes. I step a little to the side so his face is shaded. He looks both surprised and as confused as I am. Plopping down next to him I rest my back against a tire. It's an opening signal that I want us to find common ground.

  How in the world … Doris. Doris must have called her. Depending on how this goes, Doris is either getting a raise or I'm calling her tonight with her new work address—the Unemployment Office. "Hi." I'm an absolute idiot for not knowing what more to add, but just like pretty much everything else involving Rosalyn, this has never happened before.

  "The phone seemed such a horrible way to face you, so I went to your office today. When Doris wasn't looking I—"

  "Looked down on her desk where she just happened to leave this address open." I chuckle not just because I'm happy, but also because it's what you do to show you are not mad. "Doris is both the best friend and the worst paralegal ever."

  What does a guy do in a situation where a girl comes after him? What if she came here to explain and then leaves forever? Girls are strange. Sometimes they feel the need to overstate the obvious. They must feel guilty for telling the truth.

  A whisper of "Guilty. Guilty. Guilty," plays in my head. That's from the movie Head, right? Or was it an episode of The Monkees? Rosalyn would know. "Hey—" I slam on the brakes. Is talking about The Monkees really appropriate right now?

  An awkward pause looms in the air. Both of us look at the sky, the car, and then our feet. I start to ask about the car then stop. Niles deserves the straight-up truth, so I let the words from my heart come forth. "Niles, what happened the other day wasn't my idea. Peter just kind of showed up and started doing that. I should have stopped it the second he started, but please understand that this is an odd situation for a lot of reasons. No one else has been able to see him, so what was I supposed to do, start screaming like a crazy person?"

  My hands hold onto each other, then fidget into picking at my nails. That was a crappy thing to say. My eagerness to forget about the whole debacle is making me appear to be an insensitive bitch. "Niles, I'm doing a horrible job at saying I'm sorry. Not knowing how I should have handled the situation is no excuse for not owning up to my mistake. The truth is I'm scared because you really fill a void in my life. For some reason I don't understand myself, I trust you. Trusting someone is pretty much the biggest thing possible for me right now, and I'm a total coward w
ho's not really ready for it. I'm also confused as hell over all the things that you said and don't know how to process them. This all scares the crap out of me, but—"

  But as much as we obviously care about each other, the fact he can't seem to give me an enrapturing romance tells me I am setting us up for failure. I won't be so foolish as to think that I can change him, but I also don't want to lose out on what could be the most amazing thing to enter our lives.

  Damn. For just once, why can't life be easy?

  "Niles, would you be willing to accept my apology and forget the other night ever happened so we can go back to the way things were?"

  He shakes his head, and the look of disbelief is not the little boy look I find to be so sweet. Instead it's one of self-disgust. "Really? With all I told you? Rosalyn, I was serious about that. It won't get better. You have no clue how much I want this, but sometimes a person has to accept reality." His head drops in annoyance with himself. God, I don't blame him. Not in the very least.

  "Yeah, I—I know, but I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't try. If you really do want this, let's just see where it takes us. Okay?"

  "Yeah, it's more than okay, Rosalyn." The hopeful eyes of a little boy who won't give up return, and my heart seems light again.