I nodded, ready to feel some form of penetration. My inner walls were clenching, pushing my juices out with the want to be filled.
His fingers moved down from my clit, sliding over my soaked folds until his middle finger was circling my opening. I thrust, not being able to wait any longer, and he chuckled, the deep vibrations of his laughter sending a wave of longing through me.
“Slow down, baby, I’m going to ease that ache soon enough.”
I melted. The way he was talking to me and touching me was driving me toward an orgasm.
His fingers swiped around my center once again, and I whined, needing to feel him before I burst. I was seconds away from begging when he pressed two fingers into me, bending his fingers deep.
I sighed in relief.
My knees went weak, and I leaned onto the countertop, hoping it would keep me from falling.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his blazing blue eyes lingering on my face.
“Yes. Please, Matthew,” I begged, needing more of everything he was giving me.
He pulled his fingers out a bit, my body naturally trying to suck them back in. Then he thrust once more, pulling them out and pushing them back in, in a rhythm that had my toes curling into the wood flooring beneath my feet. His thumb glided over my clit sending a jolt of sensation through me until I began to shiver.
“I love seeing you like this,” he breathed. “Look at you. You like having my fingers inside you, don’t you, Red?”
I nodded, wishing I could speak over the heavy breaths that pushed from my body.
“Say it, Shannon. Tell me you like it.”
He fucked me with his fingers faster, pushing me toward the brink and holding me over the edge.
“I-I-I do,” I stuttered. “I like it so much.”
Just as I was about to fall over the edge, he stopped, pulling his fingers from my body. He grabbed my hand, pulling me into the living room and laying me back onto the couch I’d slept on before.
He ripped his shirt over his head and pushed his pants and boxers down until he was kicking them off. He was glorious. His body large and bronze with beautiful tattoos and muscled in all the right places. There were cuts and dips forming paths I knew I wanted to explore with my fingertips.
He moved between my legs, slid a condom over his length, and gripped himself, running the head of his cock between my folds. “If you like my fingers, you’re going to love this,” he said.
Then he moved forward, resting his elbows on the couch at the sides of my head and pressing his hips forward.
“Okay?” he asked once more.
I nodded, biting my lip to keep from begging.
With one quick thrust, he filled me, and I moaned in pleasure, loving the fullness of having him deep within me.
I never knew it could be like that. I never knew I would want someone inside me so badly it ached.
He moved, his body digging deeper and deeper into me with each thrust of his hips. I had never felt anything so amazing. It was nothing like before. There was a glide to each thrust, and my body accepted him, welcoming him inside and allowing him to touch every nerve ending in my body.
“You feel amazing,” he muttered, kissing me between thrusts.
My body climbed higher and higher, reaching for the ultimate pleasure. My toes curled into the couch, and my breaths came in short, loud bursts.
“Come on, baby. That’s it,” Matthew urged.
And then I was dangling over the edge again, waiting for him to push me into oblivion. Leaning back, he cupped my ass cheeks, lifting me until he was touching a new spot within me.
I fell, plummeting over the side and taking him with me. I yelled out, my body splintering into a million pieces and showering over him. I clenched my eyes closed, experiencing something I never had before and marking my memory with the glory of an amazing orgasm.
His voice slid over me as he called my name over and over again, releasing himself inside me and filling me deep with his wet heat until he was spent. He paused above me, pressed inside with everything he was, and then his body relaxed as he fell on top of me.
He buried his face in the side of my neck, his hot breaths panting against my skin as we both came down from our rush. I stared at the beautiful ceiling above me while his body rested on top of mine. My eyes glided over the history of his house and its intricate carvings, and I imagined myself carving out my own historical moment in that room. One where the old me died and a new Shannon was born.
Matthew had pushed me past my memories and gave me new ones. And when I snuggled into his side and slowly began to doze off, I did so feeling safe and loved in the arms of a man I trusted.
SEVENTEEN
MATTHEW
HER MOUTH.
Her body.
There was no match.
Seeing her jealous over another woman. I’m not sure why, but it did something for me. She actually gave a shit about me being with someone else. Somehow, it made me feel a bit better about flipping out about another guy.
I had never felt the way I felt with Shannon, and I had been with quite a few women over the years. My body had never responded to any other woman the way it had with her.
Never.
There would never be another.
As I lay there on top of her, still inside her warmth with her arms around my neck and her legs wrapped around my center, I knew she was the one.
We had moved to my bedroom overnight, staying up into the hours of the morning worshipping each other. Our bodies were still shivering from our release, and I was enjoying the feel of her clenching around me, clutching me and releasing me in an orgasmic massage.
I didn’t know what to expect, but once I peeled her clothes off and got a look at her naked flesh and the perfection that was underneath all that fabric, I was at a loss for words.
Beautiful.
She was fucking beautiful inside and out.
And the sex.
Fuck.
I came so hard with her name on my lips and my heart exploding from my chest for her.
Only her.
The only problem I had with the situation was I was positive she wasn’t a virgin. Even though she said she was, something about the way she felt and her reaction to my first push inside her wasn’t adding up.
Not that I had been with a lot of virgins.
I hadn’t.
But I knew women, and Shannon was no virgin.
I moved back, running my lips up the side of her neck and over her chin.
“That was amazing,” I muttered against her skin. “So fucking good.”
I was out of breath, and so was she, but then I heard a tiny sound I’d never heard after having sex.
Pushing back, I looked down into her face, and when I did, a tiny tear rolled down the side of her cheek and landed on the pillow at her side.
“Shannon?”
She swiped at her cheek and turned her face away.
“It’s nothing. Just ignore me.”
Pulling her hands away from her face, I saw the moment more tears rushed from her eyes and down the sides of her face.
“It’s not nothing, babe. Tell me. Did I hurt you?”
I had been a little hard, but only because she had begged for harder. The thought that I might have hurt her made me sick to my stomach.
I rolled onto my side, pulling from her body and taking her with me. I held her in my arms as she cried into my chest. My fingers twirled in her hair, pulling it out of her face so I could look at her clearly.
“Please,” I whispered. “Tell me what I did.”
“It’s nothing you did. I promise. It’s just …” She paused, taking a deep breath that pushed her breast up high. “I’m messed up, Matthew. Really messed up.”
“We’re all a little fucked up, Shannon. That’s nothing to cry about, baby. Whatever it is, anything, you can tell me.”
She slid from beside me, tugging the sheet with her as she covered herself, leaving me naked in my bed. I hated
that she was trying to hide her body from me again. All night, she had tried to hide, and every time, I made sure she knew she could never hide from me.
Not ever.
“Stop covering your beautiful body and come here,” I said, leaning onto my elbow.
There would be no leaving my room for the entire day. I wanted to spend all the hours of daylight in bed with her, worshipping her until she passed out from pleasure.
With jerky movements, she began to dress. Sliding her panties and bra onto her body from behind the sheet.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I need to get home.”
Sitting up, I slid to the edge of the bed closest to her. “Excuse me?”
“Home,” she said, snatching her dress from the floor. “I need to go home.”
“I don’t understand. Why don’t you stay here? Stay with me.”
I had just gotten her. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet, and the thought of her leaving was making me feel a bit crazy and reckless.
She stopped, turning toward me, and looked at me.
“I’m sorry. I want to go home.”
I chuckled sarcastically. “You’re joking right now, right? You’re not really going to pull a fuck and run with me? That’s not what’s happening because that would be a really fucked-up case of karma for me.”
Tugging her dress down over her thighs, she finally released the sheet. It fluttered to the floor, and before it even had a chance to hit the wood beneath her feet, she had her purse in her grasp.
“I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”
“Wait,” I called out. “What’s happening right now? Just tell me what’s going on, Shannon.” I stood, my junk hanging out in all its glory. I’d never been ashamed of my body, and I wasn’t about to start then. “Was I just a booty call for you? Were we still doing the just sex thing? Because I have to be honest, I thought we were past that.”
She didn’t respond.
Instead, she grabbed her shoes from the floor and turned away from me. When she reached the bedroom door, she turned back.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the dim light around us.
Then she was gone.
I heard her on the stairs as she ran down them, and instead of going after her like I wanted to, I stood there confused.
First of all, I had picked her up.
How did she expect to get home?
And secondly, what the fuck just happened?
Snatching the sheet from the floor, I wrapped it around me and ran down the stairs after her, hoping to catch her at the front door, but by the time I got downstairs and pulled the front door open, she was nowhere to be found.
She had left.
She had come into my house, fucked me senseless, and then she ran out, leaving me feeling used for the first time in my entire life. Except I had a feeling I hadn’t been used for sex. Not really. I had a feeling she had used me for something much bigger. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.
Cars drove by, people staring at me as I stood on my front porch in nothing but a white sheet. I turned around and went back inside, closing my door behind me.
I could hardly believe my luck.
Finally, I had found a woman who was okay with a hot and heavy one-night fling. The only problem was, she was the only woman in the world I wanted more from. I had done something stupid. Something I hadn’t meant to do.
I had gone and fallen in love with the only woman in the world who didn’t want to keep me.
EIGHTEEN
SHANNON
I’M IN LOVE WITH MATTHEW ELLIS.
I couldn’t say it out loud yet, but I could think it.
I wasn’t sure how it happened. He was like a thief, creeping into my heart and claiming it as his own.
For so long, I was anti-man. Even the thought of anything with a penis touching me had sickened me, but now it seemed all I could think about was him and the next time I would be with him.
The sex had been amazing and terrifying. Not because I feared Matthew, but because every time he thrusted his body into mine, he sealed a broken piece of me. He replaced the terrible memories with new ones—good ones—memories I could dream about and would dream about for the rest of my life.
The only problem was, the night of release was so extreme that when the morning came, I couldn’t hold back my reaction anymore. I cried sad tears for the bits of life I had missed out on because some asshole decided to take something that wasn’t his to take. I cried happy tears because Matthew had somehow released me and removed the burden from my shoulders.
I’d carried around the sadness for years, and in one night, he had soothed my scars, kissed the rough spots of my soul, and pieced together the girl I used to be.
He would never understand what he did for me, and I could never explain it because my secret was just that … a secret.
I hated that he blamed himself and didn’t know what caused my reaction, but I had to flee. The second I looked up at him and felt the love in my heart I never thought I would feel, I needed to get out of there.
For that exact reason, I knew I had to stay away from Matthew.
He would crush me.
He was a playboy, and what we had was nothing more than a one-night fling. I had asked to get to know him first, and he had granted that wish before giving me the best night of my life.
I wished it could be more, but I knew in the back of my mind I could never give my all to a man, and he would never give his all to a woman. We were better off letting it go. At least, I was better off letting it go. As far as Matthew was concerned, I was just another girl in his life he had sampled.
Once the Uber dropped me off at my apartment, I went inside and headed straight to the shower. Peeling my dress from my body, I thought about the places he had touched and kissed. When I stood beneath the steaming water, I did so with a secret smile knowing I’d had the one thing I never thought I would.
A beautiful sexual experience with a gorgeous man and a heart full of love.
I couldn’t keep him, but he would always be my precious moment. A wondrous night in my life of just passing through.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE PERSON I COULD TURN TO ABOUT MATTHEW.
That was my grammy.
Mostly because I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t remember it. She was my sounding board, a silent listener who could give me advice before it was erased from the world and only left in my mind.
“Hey, Grammy,” I said when I entered her room.
I tossed the bag with a dress I had bought her on the bed.
She looked up from her sewing and smiled. “Hey, hon, how are you? I was hoping you’d stop by today.”
I paused, my purse sliding down my arm and onto her bed. She was more lucid than she had been in weeks. Trying to hide my shock, I went back and closed the door to her room.
“I’m great. What do you have there?” I asked.
“Oh, just sewing something for Edna’s daughter. She’s having her first great-granddaughter in the next few months.”
“That’s nice of you.”
She held up the tiny pink dress and smiled.
“That’s adorable, Grams.”
She nodded. “You know how much I love all things pink. How’s work been?”
I sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for the second when she would go away.
“Work’s been good. Just staying busy.”
“Good. Staying busy is good for the body.”
I sat silently, watching as she acted completely normal. Tears sprang to my eyes. I missed her so much, and lately, I had been feeling very lonely. Except for Matthew, I hadn’t really been around anyone else.
Moving from the bed, I kneeled in front of her and hugged her around the waist.
“Oh, my. What’s this about?” she asked, running her fragile fingers through my hair.
“I just miss you.”
“Aw, honey, I’m here. I’m always here.”
She wouldn�
�t always be there, though. It was only a matter of time before she went away again. I hated that she was going through this terrible disease and I couldn’t do anything to help her.
“I’m sorry, Grammy,” I muttered.
“Now, don’t you go feeling bad for putting me in this place. It’s nice here, and I’ve made a lot of friends. Plus, we both know I’m much too old to live alone anymore. I’ve accepted that, and it’s good that you do, too. Understand?”
I nodded against her lap. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Now, tell me what’s going on with you. I can see it in your eyes that something’s bothering you. I’ve been able to tell your heart in your eyes ever since you were just a little girl.”
I leaned back and took advantage of her lucidity.
“I’m in love, Grammy,” I said.
It felt odd saying it aloud, but in a way, it was therapeutic.
She grabbed the sides of my face, her frail fingers tangling in my hair. “I’m so happy to hear this, honey.”
We talked.
She asked me questions, and I explained the situation with Matthew. Once I got everything having to do with him out, I opened up about my dark secret, letting the demons out and knocking even more weight off my shoulders.
“I remember him,” she said when I told her who it was and when. “Your prom date. He seemed like such a nice boy, but I guess you never really know someone.”
I nodded, tears streaming down my face.
“It’s the strangest thing,” she said. “I’ve been having nightmares about a crescent-shaped birthmark for years, and now you’re telling me the boy who hurt you has one. I think that was God’s way of telling me you needed me.”
She held me close, wiping away my tears as she had when I was growing up. She captured my face in her hands and said, “Honey, I wish you had come to me. I would have taken care of you. I would have made sure that little bastard paid for his crimes.”
I looked up into my grammy’s aging eyes and saw tears forming there.
“We’ll make sure he pays. It’s time you come clean and tell the police, honey. And as far as your new friend goes, you sink your hooks into him and you don’t ever let go. Sometimes, we only get one go at a great thing, so you can’t pass it up. If you do, it may never come around your way again. I grabbed your pop many years ago, and I didn’t let go until the Lord wanted him back. I’d like to think life gives you more than one precious moment. I know I got more than one the day I found you on my front steps, but we can’t be sure that’s the case for everyone. If you think this guy is your moment, you tell him.”
Hot & Heavy (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 2) Page 17
