I nodded. “I will. I’ll tell him.”
I didn’t know if it was the mention of Pop or if it was the pain of my secret, but no sooner than those words left her mouth did she shift, going far away and forgetting me completely in a matter of seconds.
“I’m sorry. Can I help you?” she asked, her lingering tears from my story still sliding down her wrinkled cheeks.
I left her room feeling lighter, yet I felt sad knowing one day my grammy would be gone forever. One day, she would slip away and never return. When that moment came, I wasn’t sure how I would handle it. Even considering it made me feel sick to my stomach with grief.
I took the hallways slowly, in no rush to get to work. Lilly was there already, and I knew she didn’t technically need me. I was the one who needed the paycheck. Not her who needed the help.
My eyes skimmed over the hallway décor, landing on the water fountain on the side waiting for someone to stop and take a drink. I turned the corner onto the shorter hallway, and he was there.
Matthew.
I barely had time to register what was happening before he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into yet another closet.
The door slammed behind us, and I was spun around and pressed into the back of the door. His handling should have freaked me out, but the one thing I knew about Matthew was he would never hurt me physically.
Mentally, I wasn’t so sure about.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“We need to talk.” His blue eyes were blazing. He looked disheveled, his shirt untucked and his hair wild as if he had been tugging on it.
“About what?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Shannon. You’re a smart girl. You know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t have time for this.” I pulled away, ready to flee, but before I could get far, he pressed my back against the door, forced his thigh between my legs, and kissed me.
My response was rapid. I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him back like the moment was the last moment I would ever get with him.
“I’m obsessed with you,” he said over my lips, reaching down and unzipping his jeans.
I pushed at the waist of his jeans in a rush to feel him. Needing him to take it all away.
His hands moved under my dress, rushing up my thighs and pulling the fabric up to my hips. He turned us, slamming me into a small counter that housed paper towels and supplies, and with strength I didn’t know he had, he lifted me onto the counter.
His fingers moved between my thighs, grabbing at the lacy fabric covering my center. He tugged, ripping the lace from my body, the seams digging into my skin and leaving a hot burn line.
It was rough.
I should have hated it.
It should have scared me.
But I couldn’t think about anything but feeling him move inside me, rubbing away the ache, and pushing me over the edge.
“I can’t keep my hands off you. I’m sick of running.” He breathed.
“Then don’t run,” I said, not understanding his words.
He moved between my legs and slid on a condom. Stroking his thick cock, he slapped it against my clit.
“This is going to be fast and rough. You can run afterward if you want, but I’ll only find you again.”
And then he pushed into me, rough and reckless, making me gasp with the shock of how amazing he felt.
He wasn’t lying when he said it would be fast and hard. The table shook beneath us as he took me like a wild animal. Fucking me so perfectly I came within minutes. My loud screams filled the small closet, and he slid his palm over my lips to hold the sounds inside.
“That’s right, Red. Come for me, baby. Show me how much you love my cock.”
I grabbed his ass, pulling him deeper into me. My mouth popped open, and I froze as another hot wave of orgasm rolled over me. My pleasure pushed him over the edge, and he ground into me one final time, pausing with his release as a desperate moan ripped from his lips.
“Fuck,” he said, his breathing fast and hard. “That was …”
“So. Good,” I finished for him.
He pulled back, allowing the cool air of the room around to me rush in.
“I’m sorry if I was too rough. You make me crazy,” he said, running his fingers through his hair as he blew out a deep breath.
“The feeling is mutual.”
“What the fuck are we doing?” he asked, his eyes despondent.
“I have no idea, but it scares me.”
I was being honest. I was terrified.
“It scares me too, but I think we have a bit of a problem. Or at least, I have a bit of a problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I might have accidentally fallen in love with you.”
My body tensed, the feel of my orgasms still making me shiver and the impact of his words slamming into me.
I couldn’t say it back. Even though the words were dancing on my lips, and my heart was rejoicing from his announcement, my mind wouldn’t allow it. The fear of getting hurt again kept me from speaking.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, his eyes moving over my expression. “But please, just come home with me.”
“Matthew, I need time. Everything is moving so quickly, and there are so many things in my head.”
He reached up, fingering one of my curls, and his eyes became sad. “I laid my cards on the table. I can’t be anymore upfront about what I want. I want you. When you’re ready, you know where to find me.”
Then he pulled away, adjusted his clothes, and left me standing in the closet alone with only my thoughts and fears.
I went home to an empty apartment, and in my gut, I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before Lilly and Devin would want a place of their own. There was no way I could afford the apartment on my own, so I would have to either find a cheaper place or find a new roommate.
This, on top of the business with my grammy, was gradually driving up my blood pressure. The stress of life was growing, and when I added Matthew on top of everything else, I could feel myself being pushed down by the weight.
I showered and settled into bed with Netflix on. I was scanning Facebook on my phone when I got a text from Matthew.
Matthew: My bed feels different without you in it. I wish you were here.
Looking around my room and listening to the silence of the rest of the apartment outside my bedroom door had me feeling the same way.
Me: Me too.
Matthew: Have you had enough space yet?
Me: Lol. It’s been a few hours.
Matthew: Feels like a lifetime.
Me: I’m sorry.
Matthew: For what?
Me: For being crazy.
Matthew: I like your brand of crazy. Get some rest. Text me tomorrow. Good night.
Me: Good night.
I lasted two days.
After visiting with my grammy, I ran into him in the hallway. And when he pulled me into our closet, I couldn’t stop myself from tugging his pants down and letting him fuck me against the counter once again.
He was leaning into me, his face pressed against my chest, our breaths rushed and ragged. Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his thick hair, and he turned his face, placing a kiss right above the V-neck of my sweater.
“Come home with me,” he muttered against my skin.
“Matthew, I …”
“I want you naked in my bed, Shannon. These quick, quiet fucks in a closet aren’t enough. I want to touch all of you. Taste all of you. Next time I make you come, I want your luscious tits bouncing in my face so I can suck them at the same time.”
I shivered, feeling aroused all over again.
Just weeks before, I couldn’t imagine being so intimate with a man. I couldn’t imagine enjoying the feel of him moving inside me or expect the throbbing between my folds when he talked dirty to me, but with Matthew, it was out of my hands. My body and mind had joined forces, and I was done for.
&
nbsp; “Will you come home with me?” he asked, moving his lips up the side of my neck and pressing another kiss behind my ear.
I nodded, wanting nothing more than to be with him.
I followed him to his house and parked behind him. My old car behind his brand-new one was comical.
We held hands on our way to his front door, and once we were inside, we wasted no time going to his room where he showed me with his body how much he cared about me. He made good on his promises to have me naked and squirming beneath him, and for the first time in my life, I allowed someone to taste every inch of my body.
Afterward, we laid in his bed and talked. He played with the hair around my ear, fingering the strands and using the tips to write sweet words on my shoulder.
“Shannon?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you tell me you were a virgin?”
I froze. “What do you mean?”
“I haven’t been with a virgin since high school, but I’m pretty sure you weren’t one.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. I just know. Why did you say you were a virgin? Did you think I’d care about that?”
I shook my head, feeling sick with the thought of opening up to him. Telling him the truth.
“I had to,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because technically, I’ve never willingly been with a man.”
His fingers paused in my hair, his body frozen as his eyes moved over my expression trying to figure out what I was saying.
“I’m confused. What you do you mean willingly? Were you …?”
I couldn’t hear the word come from his mouth. Something about him saying it made it ten times worse. So before he could say it, I did.
“Raped. I was raped.”
I swallowed, feeling like his old house was falling in on me. Crumbling all around me and burying me deep with my broken parts. I’d never said the word aloud before to anyone but my grammy, and seeing his expression somehow made it worse.
Hurt filled his eyes, and they watered.
“I’m so sorry. I was too rough. I should’ve been easier. I don’t know what I …”
I stopped him. Placing my finger over his lips.
“You were perfect. I was so afraid I’d never feel the things I feel with you. So afraid of everything he took away from me. I couldn’t stand the thought of a man touching me. I couldn’t imagine having any kind of a relationship with a male, but you were patient. You let me open up for you. You helped me piece myself back together. And then you showed me what it was like to really make love.”
I told him about the night I never spoke of. I told him about everything my prom date had taken away from me. About the cornfield and the moment I decided it wasn’t worth telling the world. He didn’t ask any questions. He held me while I spilled my deepest, darkest secret. He held me while I cried, pressing soft kisses into my hair and telling me it wasn’t my fault.
And when I finished, I found that telling my story was exhausting. I let him hold me while I slowly closed my eyes and fell asleep feeling as if someone had finally released me from the darkness within.
I was free.
NINETEEN
MATTHEW
I WATCHED HER SLEEP.
Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks flushed. I softly fingered the strands of her red hair, wishing I could take it all away for her—wishing I could erase the memories of his hands on her body—but more importantly, wishing I knew who he was so I could destroy him.
I had asked her his name, but she refused to tell me. She refused any details about him, and I wanted to be angry because she deserved justice, but at the same time, I wanted to be understanding of her need for privacy.
I lay there, needing to lose it on something, feeling like a bomb ready to detonate at any second. Anger squatted inside me, festering and boiling with a rage I had never felt in my entire life. My body trembled, shaking furiously for the desire to crush something in my palms.
She wouldn’t give me a name, but I would find him, and when I did, I would ruin his life the way he had almost ruined hers.
She shifted in her sleep, her face pushing into my chest, and I held her close. Pressing a kiss on her forehead, I silently made a promise to her that no one would ever hurt her again. She would never want for anything. Never feel the stress of life on her shoulders.
She was mine, and I would always take care of her.
My phone lit up at my side, illuminating the space around us. Before the ringing grew louder, I picked it up and checked to see who it was.
Jonathan’s name moved across the screen, his number following.
He never called. He favored texting, which was why I answered. If he was calling, something must be wrong.
“Hey. What’s up?” I answered.
A bit of static moved over the line, letting me know he was on the yacht.
“Nothing much. We’re having a birthday party for Curtis tonight on the yacht. You coming?”
There was music in the background, and the sound of women giggling.
I looked over at Shannon sleeping and decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to take her out at that moment. Not to mention, I wasn’t sure I wanted Shannon anywhere near the gun slinging and possible drugs.
“I don’t know, man,” I said into the phone. “I’m hanging out with my girl.”
Jonathan chuckled, a bit of a slur in his laughter letting me know he had started the party earlier in the day. “Your girl, huh? It’s like that now?”
“Yeah. My girl. And it’s definitely like that.”
He went silent and only the sounds of music and laughing came through the phone. I was worried he would have something sarcastic to say, but he surprised me when he said, “Well, hell, man. Bring her with you. I want to meet this goddess who managed to catch Matthew Ellis.”
I chuckled and opened my mouth to turn down his invitation, but Shannon sat up and grinned at me.
“I don’t mind if you want to go,” she said.
“Hold on a second, man,” I said into the phone before pressing it against my chest so he couldn’t hear our conversation.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. I was kind of in and out, but I could hear your conversation. If your friends have a birthday party, you should be there. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?” I still didn’t feel like she was ready. “He’s into some pretty hardcore shit. I don’t know if I want you around him.”
She giggled. “You’re so cute. Tell him we’ll be there.”
I placed a soft kiss on her lips before pulling the phone away from my chest.
“Okay, man, you win. Be there soon.”
WE WENT BACK TO HER APARTMENT SO SHE COULD GET SOME CLOTHES.
When we stepped through the door, Lilly and Devin were sitting on the couch. Lilly’s expression was one of shock, but when I looked at Devin, he shook his head and grinned.
“Um, anything you want to tell me, Shannon?” Lilly asked.
I snorted. “Yeah, babe, anything you want to tell her?”
Shannon blushed, prompting me to move in and kiss her on the cheek.
“Yeah, ah, we’re kind of seeing each other,” she said, motioning back and forth between us.
Devin laughed. “It’s about damn time they come clean about it.”
Lilly smacked him in the chest and grinned.
“Wait ...” Shannon started. “You knew?”
Lilly nodded. “Ever since the night Dev caught him sneaking out of the apartment.”
I sat on the couch talking with Lilly and Devin while Shannon took a shower and got dressed to go to Curtis’s birthday party. While there, I opened up to them about my motives, explaining my revenge plot and the reason I went after Lilly. Lilly nodded, understanding with a sad smile on her face
Devin squeezed my shoulder. “Damn, bro, I’m sorry. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend.�
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I waved it away. “No worries, man. She wasn’t worth it. I know that now.”
“Well, still, it fucking sucks. I’m glad we can move past that shit. Lilly hated that we had tension. Especially when I told her and you Shannon were hooking up.”
It felt good to gain Devin’s friendship again, and it came in handy since I was determined to be in Shannon’s life. Lilly was a big part of Shannon’s world, so I didn’t want there to be any tension.
Twenty minutes later, Shannon came into the living room looking amazing in a knee-length black dress and heeled booties. Her long, shapely legs glistened in the living room lighting and the gloss on her lips sparkled.
She’d curled her scarlet hair into a beautiful set of ringlets, and she had put just a tiny bit of mascara on her eyes to make the green stand out.
I stood, going to her and pulling her into my arms.
“Damn, baby,” I whispered in her ear. “You look good enough to eat.”
She pushed back, wearing a seductive grin on her pouty lips. “You’re so bad.”
“Nah, I’m good at it. I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”
WE HELD HANDS ON THE WAY TO THE COAST.
With one hand on the wheel, I hummed to the music on the radio as I drove across town.
“So tell me more about your friend,” she said. “Have you guys known each other long?”
I nodded. “A couple of years. Although, I’d say he’s more than my friend. We’re more like brothers.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m meeting him then. He can tell me all about your dirty deeds.”
I chuckled. “If you want to know about my dirty deeds, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart. I have no problem at all showing you.”
Hot & Heavy (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 2) Page 18
