Nothing Personal: A Standalone Romantic Comedy

by Karina Halle

  “I’m Supernova, your Menehune Exterminator. I heard you have an emergency.”

  He nods enthusiastically. “Yeah there’s one under my bed and he wants to eat my toes.”

  “That’s no good. May I come in and assess the situation?” she asks.

  “Come, come,” Hunter says, running back into the house, “follow me.”

  “Nova,” I say to her, grabbing her by the arm before she goes inside. She stares up at me and in her eyes I see a woman who would do anything for my son and therefore a woman who owns my heart. “Thank you,” I whisper.

  She smiles shyly and then follows Hunter inside.

  He leads her upstairs to his room and, after I lock back up, I go after them, grateful that Loan is still sleeping.

  When I get to his room, Nova is on all fours on the carpet and poking her head under the bed. It can’t be an accident that her luscious, wet-suit clad ass is pointed in my direction. She looks like a fucking superhero…but one of the crazy ones.

  Hunter, meanwhile, is sitting on his bed staring at the gecko in the jar. The gecko is staring back at him. I have a really bad feeling about this, like they’re about to be best friends.

  “Is this really Dwayne Johnson?” Hunter asks, tapping on the glass.

  “Yes,” Nova says from under the bed, her voice muffled. For a moment I actually buy that she’s looking for a Hawaiian goblin.

  “I thought he was your favorite,” I say, and Nova is so surprised to hear me she bumps her head on the bottom of the bed.

  “He is, but he’s best at Menehune guarding. Anyway, they’re very territorial and he’s been fighting with Jeff Geckoblum lately so I figured he was needed here,” she says as she climbs out.

  “Did you get him?” Hunter asks her while she adjusts her headlamp.

  “No, but that’s because he left,” she says. “He must have heard me coming and got out of here.”

  Hunter frowns, as if it’s all too easy. “Are you sure?”

  “I am absolutely sure,” she says. “Remember that us Menehune Exterminators have a life-time guarantee. He’s not coming back, not as long as Dwayne Johnson stays here. Providing your father lets him.”

  I groan. She threw me right under the bus.

  “Can he stay?” Hunter asks. “Please Daddy?”

  Ah crap. The please Daddy. He knows I’m a sucker for that, ever since he first called me that word.

  I cave in. “Only if he’s outside. He’s not a pet.”

  “No, of course he’s not,” Nova says, straightening up. The zipper of her wetsuit has come down just a little over her chest and it takes a lot to keep my eyes focused on her face. “He’s a guardian of the house, a Menehune hunter,” she goes on. “He’ll be outside. But if you do happen to see him inside, it’s only because he’s protecting your son and it’s best to leave him alone.”

  I want to be mad at her over this. The fact that I now have her fat gecko, which will probably spend all the time in the house because Loan thinks it’s good luck and Hunter is probably going to capture him and bring him inside all the time.

  But I’m already smiling. It’s a tired, reluctant smile but a smile all the same.

  I’m in fucking love with this woman.

  That’s really all there is to it now.

  “All right, fine.”

  Nova grins.

  Hunter lets out a squeal.

  “But it’s really late now and you have to go to bed, Hunter.”

  “What about the gecko?”

  “How about we go downstairs and let him in the backyard? He protects the whole house best from there.” Nova takes Hunter’s hand and grabs the gecko jar in the other and goes downstairs. I can hear the back door slide open and a few muffled words and then the two of them come back up.

  “Better now?” I ask Hunter, arranging his bed for him.

  He nods. “Yup. I’m safe now.”

  “Okay, well get into bed and go to sleep.”

  “Good night Daddy,” he says, as I pull the blankets over him.

  “Good night Hunter,” I tell him.

  “Good night Menehune Extra-irminator,” he says to her.

  She laughs. “Sweet dreams. Just remember, you’re safe now. The gecko is protecting you and your daddy is too.”

  I have a feeling he’s fallen asleep before we even leave the room.

  I close the door halfway and then grab Nova’s hand, pulling her toward my bedroom.

  “I better go,” she says, pulling back.

  “No, we need to talk,” I tell her, leading her to the room and closing the door. “We need to talk about today. And you need to take off that damn thing on your head.”

  She sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed and bringing the headlamp off and into her lap, switching off the light.

  “Kess, I’m sorry,” she says.

  “And I’m sorry too,” I tell her. “For a lot of things. I shouldn’t have been so angry, it wasn’t your fault.”

  “But you’re right, I am too self-involved. I should have been watching him,” she says quietly, voice soft as air. “I don’t know what happened.”

  “I know what happened,” I tell her, sitting next to her, hands clasped in my lap. “Shit got very real, very fast. That was the scariest thing to ever happen to me and I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”

  When she looks at me, her sweet eyes are brimming with tears. “I thought I lost you,” she says. “When I saw you jump in the pool and you sank…I thought I lost both of you forever.” She pauses, taking in a wavering breath. “I shut down inside. I thought about how risky all of this is, to be with someone when you could lose them. Again. And I just shut off…and I hate how I do that, Kess, I really do. I want to change. I want to be with you.”

  “You are with me, baby,” I tell her, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I’ve got you and I’m not letting go. It was just a fight. It was a scary fucking moment and a lot of shit came out because of it, shit that I should have been dealing with like an actual functioning human being. I talk a lot, Nova, but my actions don’t always follow through and I’m sorry. I need to step it up too.”

  She chews on her lip, looking more crestfallen and vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her. “Nova,” I say softly. “We’re okay. None of this was your fault. I was scared shitless when I sank but I wasn’t thinking of you and how mad I was. When I ran to save Hunter, I wasn’t even thinking about how I’d probably drown. All I thought about was that I would do anything for my son, no matter what, and tonight I learned that you’d do anything for him too. And now I’m thinking, you know what, he’s a fucking lucky kid to have two bumbling adults in his life who would risk their life for him.” I gesture at her outfit. “Or humiliation, as it were.”

  “This was nothing,” she says, looking down at herself.

  I grin. “Nova. I know you. You know I find you adorable with the headlamp and hot as sin in this wetsuit. What was something was the fact that you drove all the way here when we were both mad at each other and did this for Hunter. And, by way of that, you did this for me. You’re a very proud stubborn woman. This sort of thing does not come easy to you and, believe me, I appreciate it.”

  I thought that would get a smile out of her but instead she gets up off the bed and starts pacing back and forth in front of me. I’m not sure what to do, if she’s about to unload something awful on me, if she’s going to put things back together. I watch in fear and awe, waiting.

  When she finally stops pacing she looks at me again and it’s like she’s taken off a mask. Her eyes plead with me while her heart is on her sleeve.

  “I know I’m difficult,” she whispers hoarsely, hands flying to her sides. “I’m cynical and hard in places and too soft and sensitive in others. I’m running cold one second and then I’m a fiery volcano the next, with no way to turn me off. I’m ambitious and competitive and a little too focused. I should be more social. I should call more people and make more plans. Sometimes it feels like my
head isn’t on straight, some days I just want to stay in bed and cry. At night I get unbelievably afraid in the moments before I fall asleep, like I’m scared to let go and drift away, while in the mornings even three pots of coffee aren’t enough to make me human. I want too much and I worry that I want too much. I want people to love me but I’m afraid to love them first. Most of all, I’m afraid that I’ll lose the ones I do love because I was too much of something for them. Too much of me. Too broken and flawed and imperfect and selfish, with too much wrong in me and not enough right.” She pauses, taking in a deep shaking breath that I feel to the very soul of me. “I wish I were easier to love.”

  And there it is.

  Her truth offered to me on a fragile plate.

  She’s trusting me with it.

  I’ve never wanted anything more.

  “Nova,” I manage to whisper. “It was just a fight. I’m not going anywhere.” I get up, my legs shaking, maybe from the pool, maybe from what I’m about to say. I gently take her face between my hands, cupping it. “I love you. I love you so incredibly much it’s like I’m seeing this world in color for the first time and it’s nothing but the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets and even the stars make the night sky shine.”

  I kiss her and already things are brighter, lighter.

  “Kessler,” she whispers against my lips, almost whimpering

  I pull back an inch, resting my forehead against her. “You don’t have to say it. I know you didn’t come here to tell me you love me and if you did, you did it without words. It’s enough for me, just to have you here. Just to let me tell you that I love you.”

  “I can’t believe you love me,” she whispers.

  “I do. Very much. So much. More than enough. I love you now in ways I never could have back then because I didn’t understand what it meant. I didn’t understand how much I wanted it, needed it. It took losing you once to know that I won’t lose you again. Just…tell me that you at least Aloha me.”

  A wry smile creeps on her lips as she frowns. “Aloha you?”

  “Yes. You don’t have to say you love me, I get it, you need to do things in your own way and in your own time. But tell me you Aloha me, at least.”

  “Kess, no…that’s not how the word works.”

  “No? That’s totally how the word works. Aloha has a million different meetings. It’s more than just hello or a greeting. It’s a way of life. That’s what all the postcards say. It’s a spirit and you’re my spirit. You’re my Aloha.”

  “It’s cheesy.”

  “Just because something is cheesy, doesn’t mean it’s not valid or good. I mean, what is cheesy but too much cheese and, honestly, how could you ever have too much cheese? Cheese is fucking awesome. Brie and pecorino and smoked applewood cheddar…”

  “Kessler…”

  “Aloha is everything,” I go on. “It’s the land and sea and sky and harmony. It’s a way of life.” I grab her by the shoulders. “Aloha means never having to say you’re sorry.”

  “Stop.”

  “I’m just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to Aloha him.”

  She’s laughing now. “Please.”

  “Nova, you…Aloha me,” I say in my best Tom Cruise impression.

  “You had me at Aloha?” she offers.

  “Yes! You had me at Aloha.”

  “Can we stop saying the word Aloha now? It’s starting to sound funny.”

  “Okay fine, but I had you at Aloha.”

  “Yes,” she says with a reluctant sigh. “You did.”

  At least she admits it.

  “Now come, let me get you out of this wetsuit. Where did you get this anyway?”

  She pushes my roving hands away as I reach for her zipper. “Sometimes the water gets cold enough here.”

  “Well I wouldn’t know because I am never going in the ocean again.”

  She gives me a sympathetic look. “Yes, you are. I know today was scary but I have no doubt that even if I didn’t jump in after you, you would have made it out. I mean, fuck man, you have some powerful quads.”

  “I gave you a good wallop, didn’t I?” I wince.

  She shrugs. “I’ve had worse. But I’m being serious. I know it felt like you were drowning but you were keeping yourself afloat, not me. Like I could keep a man your size afloat like that. And you saved Hunter’s life, so really, I think you’re part fish already. I think you’ll both be one with the ocean in no time.”

  “If you think I’m about to turn into Aquaman, you have another thing coming.”

  She grins at me. “All I know is that if you wanted to dress up as Jason Momoa, I wouldn’t mind.”

  “That guy is Hawaiian isn’t he?”

  She nods.

  “That fucker. All the women want him because he can swim.”

  She raises her brow. “Yeah,” she says dryly. “That’s totally the reason why.”

  “So about you taking off this wetsuit,” I tell her. “Unless you have a hole somewhere, then you can keep it on.”

  “I’m going to go,” she says, heading for the door.

  “Why?”

  “It’s very late now and I just wanted to drop by.”

  “You can’t just come here unannounced, exterminate a Hawaiian goblin, leave me a gecko, and then fuck off.”

  “I’ll see you on Monday Kess,” she says.

  I grumble in response as I see her out.

  “See you Monday.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  NOVA

  I NEVER THOUGHT I’d look forward to a Monday like this before.

  I never thought I’d look forward to any day like this.

  After the horrors of Saturday and the near drowning at the pool, after I showed up at his house, ready to fight the mythical Menehune, everything changed.

  I unloaded on Kessler everything I’d felt about myself, all my fears, all my insecurities, all the things I’m strangely proud of too. I didn’t want to hide anything from him anymore, didn’t want to be a closed book.

  I realized I was in love with him and I was past the point of no return.

  There was no saving me from heartache.

  If it happened, it happened.

  I couldn’t protect my heart from it even if I tried, and if I did try, I would miss out on all the joy there is in giving in and loving someone.

  It’s a surrender.

  I was waving my flag.

  And he waved his right back.

  He loved me.

  Loved me with all his ambition and brawn and ridiculousness and sweat.

  Scratch that—loves me.

  Present tense.

  Because he does.

  I left his house late Saturday night feeling his love beating in every corner of my body, like it had fused with my blood and infiltrated my veins and turned me into someone new, someone better.

  Yeah, I know. That’s the cheese I accused him of and I’m living it right now.

  It’s actually kind of hard not to be cheesy. I guess that’s what love does to you, a minor drawback, if you will. All sense of cool has been compromised.

  But I don’t care.

  Because it makes me happy, and if something makes you happy, what more do you want?

  Of course, now all I want is to be with Kessler. I loved spending as much time as I could with him before but the whole love declaration pushed us to another level. Like, it’s pulled back that lever I had deep in my gut, the one that caused me to lose my mind over Kessler in the first place, and I’m at level-ten obsession now.

  This is what happens when you let go.

  Thankfully, I think Kessler is down for it, to have me go all doting, gushing school girl crush on him.

  After all, I still have to tell him I love him.

  I guess I’m just not sure how.

  Yesterday I spent the day at home, with only a few texts between us. He had promised Loan that he would take her and Hunter out to some Vietnamese festival thing and I decided it was probably a goo
d thing to let them have their time together, especially since Loan does so much for them.

  It was hard though, spending that one day away from him when all I wanted to do was just lie in his arms and stare at him like some damn fool.

  And so, now it’s Monday.

  I’m at work.

  He’s at work.

  And it’s taking all of me not to go over to his office and say hello. I have a million excuses too, and yet I manage to keep my distance and put my head down and work.

  Then, at four-thirty, it turns out I have a meeting with him, Desiree and George.

  About twenty minutes prior I knock on Kessler’s door.

  “Come in,” he says. He looks surprised to see me when I walk in, shutting the door behind me. “Where have you been all day?”

  “Trying to be a good girl.”

  “I don’t know if I like you as a good girl. Where’s that nasty one who is usually hanging around?”

  I laugh and come over to him, putting my arm around his shoulders and giving him a giddy kiss. “Oh, she’s around.” I pull back. “Hey, do you know what this meeting is about?”

  He shrugs and that’s when I notice his forehead is glistening. “I don’t know,” he says.

  “But you’re nervous.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Because you’re sweating and it’s minus eleventy million degrees in here.” I usually have to put on a cardigan when I come in his office.

  “Oh.” He wipes at his forehead. “Well, then yes. I’m a bit nervous.”

  “Okay then I’m nervous.”

  “We shouldn’t be though. We always have meetings with George.”

  “Not Desiree. Not HR. We haven’t had a meeting with her since, well, your first day.”

  “God that feels so long ago,” he says with a sigh.

  “It kind of was. And a lot has happened since then.”

  Like the fact that I love you.

  The words sweep through my mind like pink puffy clouds.

  God, I’m pathetic.

  “Do you think it has something to do with us?” he asks. “I mean, like you and me and all the sex?”

  That’s actually what I was afraid of. “I don’t know. Should we have a game plan for when we go in there?”