Fiona's Flame

by Rachael Herron

  A man and woman carrying a young baby held the child up for photo after photo. They asked Fiona to take a picture of them, saying it was the baby’s first boat ride. The way they stood, though, made Fiona wonder why they were together. They were careful about not touching one another while they practically fought to be the one to hold the child. Their eyes didn’t meet, and they didn’t speak to each other. They spoke, instead, through the baby. ‘Tell Daddy he needs to get out your hat.’ ‘Mommy should probably see if you need to be changed yet.’

  Miserable. Why did people stay in miserable relationships? Fiona was glad all over again that she’d never been involved with anyone long enough to sink that low. Of course, she’d never had a boyfriend for more than six months. But that wasn’t exactly her fault – it was just something that happened with her. Boyfriends turned into friends. One morning she’d wake up next to a man and realise that she’d changed. And he hadn’t. That was the point at which she usually told him that yes, she wanted to keep watching baseball with him (or rock climbing, or spelunking, or whatever else they’d gotten into together) but that they were better off as friends. She tried to will the change to happen before the man ever professed love, and normally it did. She’d been too late on one occasion and it had made her heart ache to watch Ian’s face crumble as she told him that yes, she loved him, too, but not in that way.

  The parents were now arguing desultorily through the baby about whether he was or wasn’t feverish. Zeke and Abe were embroiled in discussing something with words she didn’t understand like horn cleat and eye splice.

  Fiona moved farther away, standing near the rail where Bob, Junior, and Robin had taken up their post. How Bob wasn’t freezing his cojones off in those shorts, she had no clue. Fiona was cold even though she’d worn her down parka over a cream sweater. It was boxy and wide, completely out of fashion, but it was the warmest thing she owned. She’d found it at the thrift store in Half-Moon Bay, and Toots Harrison swore Eliza Carpenter had knitted it. The first time Fiona had worn it into Tillie’s, five women had formed a circle around her, all their hands out, touching and plucking at it as if it were made of something precious, spun gold or platinum instead of the cream wool it was. ‘A prototype,’ they’d said. ‘I remember this. She gave it to someone down the coast …’ ‘Can you imagine?’ ‘A thrift store?’ ‘You lucky girl, you.’ Fiona had just liked the way the cables formed a tree on the back – it was subtle but gorgeous. Most importantly, it was warmer than any coat she owned. She tugged it lower, pulling it down to her hips.

  Junior’s eyes were glued to the water.

  Bob nodded at Fiona. ‘He’s not gonna look up, not if you offered him a million dollars. He’s gonna be the first to spot a whale, you mark my words.’

  Robin said softly, ‘He knows all the whale names.’

  Junior said, ‘Orca, gray whale, blue whale, humpback, killer whale isn’t a whale, it’s a dolphin. Look!’

  Abe was suddenly next to Fiona, Zeke back at the wheel.

  ‘Thar she blows,’ he said in a low voice, just to her.

  Would it kill the man not to be so sexy? All the time? Fiona took a deep breath and willed her stomach to stop heaving.

  ‘What is it? What is it? What is it?’ All of Junior’s fingers were at his lips, and he bit the tips between words.

  ‘It’s a gray whale. I hear they’re Spiderman’s favorite whale.’

  Junior’s eyes widened. ‘They’re my favorite, too.’

  Abe nodded in what looked like satisfaction. ‘I thought maybe they were. What else can you tell me about them?’

  Fiona had known that whales were big, but she hadn’t been prepared for the show they put on. Abe had found a group that acted as though he’d paid them to be utterly amazing. They rose and fell and blew spouts of water in a strangely precise V-shape. They stayed near the boat, practically posing for photographs. Fiona found herself unexpectedly entranced. They were magical beings, prehistoric and wise.

  Abe caught her eye. God, he had dreamy-sad eyes, so smoky they almost looked smudged with eyeliner. So clear, light blue, as blue as an early morning sky. ‘What do you think?’

  She hugged her arms around herself in a sudden cold breeze. ‘We’re so small next to them.’

  He smiled then, and Fiona was startled by how his eyes changed with that little movement. They warmed. ‘That’s what I’ve always loved best about them. They put it into perspective. All of it.’

  Fiona felt the boat heave under her feet, a bigger motion than they’d been feeling up until now.

  ‘Yeah,’ he acknowledged. ‘That’s something.’

  ‘They’re … underneath us? Did one just roll down there?’

  ‘Yep.’

  A slow thrill of fear coursed through her. ‘Will they flip the boat?’

  ‘Doesn’t happen often.’ He was teasing her. Right? It made her even more nervous than she already was.

  She glanced around the deck. ‘Well, I’m a good swimmer. I’m going after Junior if that happens.’

  ‘Good to know. That leaves less for me to do.’

  ‘Who will you go for first?’ Fiona wanted, ridiculously, for him to say her name.

  ‘Zeke.’ He pointed at his friend, now steering the boat. ‘He’s massive, but a lot of that is fat. Don’t tell him I said so. He’ll float, even without a life vest. I’m letting him tow me in – the rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.’ Abe paused, looking toward the bow at the two small girls who were squealing as another whale breached less than thirty feet away. ‘I’d better go check on them.’

  He winked at Fiona as he went, and she shivered as though he’d reached out and touched her.

  She moved down the rail to join Bob and his family. Junior’s eyes were still wide, his gaze transfixed.

  ‘He’s loving this, huh?’

  Bob’s smile beamed brighter than the old lighthouse had ever been capable of. ‘I can’t believe we’ve waited this long to get out here. But it’s far, you know, and going places costs money. We’ve been a bit down on our luck lately, but with the economy turning around, I’ve been making more, and with that comes a whale trip!’

  ‘What do you do?’ Fiona imagined him as a high school gym teacher. Or a baker. A job that would allow him to tell bad jokes all day and make people laugh.

  ‘Undertaker,’ he said.

  Fiona coughed. ‘I … wasn’t expecting that. And that’s affected by the economy?’

  He nodded affably. ‘Oh, yeah. Big time. When people are broke, they bury their loved ones in simple pine. Or they go for cremation and don’t even have a service. But in good times, everyone wants to honor those who’ve passed with the big ticket items.’

  ‘I never would have thought …’

  Bob looked cheerful. ‘No one does. It’s just nice that business has picked up. How’s it going, Beast?’

  Junior glanced over his shoulder. ‘I’ve seen four gray whales. They said five. But it was four.’

  Robin, who’d moved toward the front of the boat, gestured for Bob to join her and look at something. Fiona stood next to Junior and watched the water. Fifty yards out, a broad, gray barnacled head broke the surface and blew a great gust of air.

  ‘Amazing, isn’t it?’ Fiona wasn’t sure if Junior would answer her. It was okay if he didn’t. She was happy just to stand there and watch the giant creatures with him.

  Junior said, ‘Just like Spiderman.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The Amazing Spiderman.’

  ‘Ah. Yes. You’re right.’

  ‘I can’t climb, though, not with this on.’ He pulled at the strap across his chest. ‘Usually Spiderman can climb. But not with this on.’

  Another whale’s spout blew. The noise was comforting. Familiar, somehow.

  ‘That’s right. But you have his other powers, right?’

  ‘He just climbs. And I can’t shoot a web, I already tried.’

  ‘He saves people. Maybe if someone needs saving, you
can help.’

  Junior’s face brightened. ‘Yeah. And I can jump.’

  ‘You can! You can probably jump high!’

  ‘Can I swim?’

  Fiona wanted to say yes, but they were surrounded by water. ‘I don’t think so. I think the vest doesn’t give you that power unless you already have it.’

  ‘I can swim already.’

  ‘Then you can!’ Did her voice sound as sleepy as she suddenly felt? Fiona wished she could lie down, just for a moment. Let the rocking of the boat move out of her bones, where it was still stirring up her stomach. The sleepiness felt good, though.

  ‘I can jump and swim.’

  Fiona focused on Junior. ‘What?’

  ‘I can jump and swim.’

  A nervous chill darted down Fiona’s spine. ‘Well, only if …’

  Junior moved faster than she would have thought possible. He climbed over the rail in less than the two seconds it took her to catch her breath. Before she knew it he was leaning forward, holding on to the metal with only one hand.

  ‘Junior, no.’ Without thinking, Fiona reached forward to grasp the back of his vest.

  Junior let go of the rail, and for a terrible moment the only thing keeping him on the boat was Fiona’s grip – she was digging into the webbing as hard as she could. The rail cut into her stomach, and she felt a pull in her lower back – Junior was a large boy, and it was taking all her strength to keep him from falling.

  ‘Dad!’ screamed Junior.

  ‘Abe!’ yelled Fiona.

  And then Abe was behind her, next to her, reaching past her to grab Junior’s waist. ‘Okay, buddy. I’ve got you.’

  But Junior leaned farther out, reaching his hands out into the air. In a moment, they’d lose him.

  Keeping one hand on Junior’s life vest, Fiona threaded a leg over the railing.

  ‘What are you doing?’ said Abe. ‘Get back over here. That’s not safe. Fiona.’

  It wasn’t safe, she knew that. Keeping one hand on the rail, Fiona pulled as hard as she could on the jacket webbing while Abe dragged him from the waist.

  ‘Harder,’ Abe said. ‘Pull!’

  Bob and Robin were behind Abe now. ‘Come on, buddy, come on back. Spiders don’t swim, remember?’

  Junior put one hand behind him and his father grabbed it. Turning slowly, Junior grasped the rail. Fiona kept her hand on the small of his back.

  ‘Good, over the rail now.’ Abe hooked his arm through Junior’s. ‘One leg up, that’s good. That’s great. Now swing your backside up, yep, just like that.’

  And Junior was safely back on board. He fell forward to his knees with a cry, jerking out of Fiona’s grasp.

  For a moment, she felt nothing but relief. Then she realized she wasn’t focusing right. Something was wrong with her vision. The rail seemed to be getting farther away. Shit, shit, shit. She couldn’t hold on, she couldn’t grab – something was wrong with her. So exhausted.

  ‘Fiona!’ Abe’s voice was sharp.

  She shouldn’t feel like this, this wasn’t what relief felt like, it was … Hold on, grasp. So dizzy. Just a second more and she’d be back on board … So exhausted …

  Her fingers slipped on the fog-damp rail and Fiona fell backward, all the way down into the frigid water.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Sometimes the knitting doesn’t go so well. I find a nice long nap often straightens that out. If that fails, try another one. – E. C.

  Abe knew the coldness of the water she’d just plunged into, and his heart seized for a split second before kick-starting again.

  ‘What do we do?’ Bob, his arms still wrapped around his son, looked frantic. Abe grabbed the life ring, made sure it was well attached to the stanchion, and threw it over.

  Fiona had just surfaced. She sputtered and gasped, and then reached for that damn black cowboy hat which had popped to the top of the water with her. She shoved it onto her head and looked up at the boat with eyes that strangely weren’t as shocked as they should have been.

  The cold was the worst part, he knew. She had to grab the ring before she got too cold to do anything else. ‘Fiona! Grab the life preserver! Now.’

  She made no move to reach for the floating ring. Instead, she closed her eyes as she treaded water.

  ‘Fiona!’ Abe couldn’t go in after her – not unless things got much, much worse. To do so would put not only himself in danger – which would be fine – but it would endanger his passengers. Zeke was an okay sailor on open water, but he couldn’t reliably guide the boat into the narrow passage that led back into the Cypress Hollow bay. And left alone in open water, neither Fiona nor he would make it for long.

  His father’s face flashed in front of his eyes.

  ‘Goddammit, Fiona, grab the ring.’

  In the water, Fiona coughed and jerked. She reached for the foam ring that was floating next to her head.

  ‘She’s got it,’ said Zeke from behind him.

  ‘Hold on,’ Abe roared. ‘Whatever you do, do not let go, do you understand me?’

  A weak nod. She coughed again.

  Gently, ever so gently, Abe pulled on the line. She needed to get close to the boat fast, but not so quickly she lost hold of the life preserver. Abe’s heart was pumping so hard he could feel it throbbing in his ears.

  Below him, Fiona bumped into the side of the boat. Her eyes were closed again. ‘Fiona! Grab the side ladder.’ This would be the hardest part. Her hands would be frozen, and it looked as if she were going into shock. Her face was as white as the foam at the top of a wave.

  But she lifted a hand, slowly grasping the first rung.

  ‘Good girl.’ Shit, he’d go overboard for her in a minute, damn the consequences. ‘Grab the next one. Use your feet.’

  She was moving as slowly as the tide. First one hand up, then the next.

  ‘You’re amazing. Keep that up, sugar. You can do it.’ Abe was over the side now, reaching down with one hand. Just two more rungs …

  Just one more …

  And then he had her. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled as hard as he could, knowing nothing could tear her from him now. With Zeke’s help, they both came over the rail cap. She landed on her back, coughing and flopping like a fish.

  ‘Blankets,’ gasped Abe. ‘Down in the main salon.’

  ‘On it,’ said Zeke, racing toward the stairs.

  Bob and Robin still had their arms around Junior, apologizing profusely. ‘It’s our fault, it was because of Junior –’

  ‘It’s no one’s fault.’

  Two girls who’d boarded with their mother were staring, clutching at each other’s arms as if they were in risk of falling overboard themselves.

  Abe half-crawled toward Fiona, twisting his body so that he was practically on top of her. He touched her face, her eyes, her forehead. Her lips were pale blue, but she was breathing. ‘I know you’re cold.’ Her skin was ice. ‘We’re going to warm you up. Can you hear me?’

  No response. Her eyes stayed shut. Jesus, did she have a medical condition of some sort? She’d crawled up that ladder herself, so she should be able to respond to him. ‘Fiona?’ He slapped her cheek lightly, watched as her chest rose and fell. He needed to get her out of those thick, drenched clothes as soon as possible.

  Zeke returned with the blankets. ‘Here you go, I brought them all. Can I help? Can I do something?’

  ‘Turn the boat around, and yell for me when we’re near the channel.’

  Looking relieved at being asked to do something, Zeke hurried away saying, ‘It’s all right, folks. It’s all gonna be okay. Just a little added excitement for no extra cost. Now, let’s see if we can find another couple of whales or dolphins or something to cruise by on our way back in …’

  Abe leaned forward, pressing both his hands against Fiona’s cold cheeks. Her lashes were so damn long. Jesus, he wanted them to flutter. ‘Open your eyes, sweetheart. Come on.’

  Fiona’s lips twitched, and then her lashes lifted. She met
his gaze, looking at him as if she’d never seen him before.

  The relief was so great that without thinking he pressed a kiss to her forehead, leaving his lips on her skin for two, maybe three seconds. As if it could warm her. Pulling back, he said, ‘Fuck, Fiona. You scared the hell out of me.’

  Fiona blinked and looked as surprised by the kiss as he felt.

  Shaking his head to snap himself out of it, Abe said, ‘Can you stand? If I can get you below, I can get you out of those clothes.’

  She giggled, almost drunkenly. Maybe she’d hit her head on the way down. He didn’t see any blood …

  Her gaze wandered from his face to a point over his left shoulder. ‘I can do it out here, sh’no problem.’

  ‘No, let’s just …’

  Still lying on her back, she was already pulling at her coat. When it was off, she tugged at the bottom of her cabled sweater.

  ‘Okay, why don’t we go inside? Downstairs, where it’ll be warmer.’

  ‘What?’ Her voice was louder now. ‘Do you think I’m shy or something? Because I’m not. I don’t mind what people think of me.’ Without hesitation, she pulled her sweater up and over her head. Underneath it was nothing but a black sports bra. ‘I mean, I do mind. I totally mind. But I pretend.’

  ‘Here, wrap this around yourself.’ Abe held out a blanket, willing himself to look away from where her nipples had budded in the cold under the black lycra.

  ‘Just a second.’ Fiona yanked at the buttons of her jeans.

  ‘No, no, no.’ Abe hooked his arms under hers from behind and lifted her till she was standing. ‘Downstairs. You aren’t taking off your jeans up here.’ She was enough of a spectacle already. To starboard, a whale breached, but the passengers didn’t even spare it a glance – they were too busy watching Fiona.

  ‘Fine, fine,’ she grumbled, stumbling in front of him.

  ‘Use the handrail,’ he cautioned. Damn it, he should have gone down in front of her, to catch her in case she fell.

  ‘I’m not five. I know how to walk.’ With those words, Fiona fell down the last two steps, landing on her knees.