North of Heartbreak

by Julie Rowe

  The bull caribou had also punctured Danny’s spleen when it stepped on the boy. Luckily it had been a small puncture, resulting in a slow bleeder, otherwise Danny would have bled to death in the first few hours after the injury occurred. The surgeons were able to stop the bleeding, but he’d have to take it easy for several weeks.

  Clark seemed envious of Willa’s large estimate of his cousin’s surgical scar.

  “I will never understand boys,” she said, shaking her head as she and Liam left the hospital. Clark had elected to stay behind with his cousin.

  “We’re simple creatures really,” Liam told her. “Food, shelter, sex and cool stuff are pretty much our top priorities.”

  “You’re equating yourself with a boy?”

  “Boys, men, same thing. Age doesn’t change much.”

  “Huh. You’re the first man to ever admit that to me.”

  “That’s because I’m smarter than I look.”

  She laughed. “You know, you are smarter than you look.”

  “You’ve made your opinion on pretty boys well-known.”

  She stopped walking. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I had no right to—”

  Liam’s laugh cut her off. “Are you kidding? After what you’d been through with your ex I’m lucky you didn’t kick me in the family jewels.” He bumped her shoulder with his. “I acted like a jerk that first flight and would’ve deserved it.”

  “No.” She’d been so wrong about him and hadn’t wanted to find out different. “No. I took one look at you and let fear rule my head. It was a mistake and I’m sorry.”

  He looked at her, really looked. “You’re forgiven.”

  Who knew those two words would bring her to tears? “Thank you.”

  He smiled and led the way to the plane.

  Willa thought she might try to sleep on the trip back to Stony Creek, but her mind was too busy going over all the things Liam had said since she told him about the baby. Going over how she felt and what her options were. One conclusion stood out from any other.

  She didn’t believe he’d hurt her or the baby.

  She wasn’t afraid of Liam.

  She owed him more than the apology she gave him earlier. Much more.

  “Can we talk?” she asked.

  His answer was to reach out and take one of her hands in his own, his thumb stroking her knuckles. For several long minutes that’s all he did, hold her, caress her. Yet that light touch was enough to send waves of need through her.

  She’d never met a man as gentle and tender as Liam. Never known a man could be so loving and compassionate. She couldn’t have chosen a better man to father her child.

  But she’d given him no choice in the matter. She’d taken that away from him. He was going to be a father now, regardless of his feelings, needs or wants.

  His departure would rip her apart, but he deserved to choose the course of his own life. She wouldn’t take that away from him.

  Grief was an ache in her throat and a weight on her tongue. “Liam, I…” For a moment she forgot to breathe, the lack of air strangling the rest of her sentence. She tried again, but instead of words, a sob bubbled its way out of her and several more followed close behind. She clutched his hand with both of hers, unwilling to let go, even though she knew she should. She had to. If she loved him she had no other choice.

  She loved him.

  “Willa?” Just the sound of her name from his lips had the power to shatter her self-control.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, hiccupping. “Just…just give me a minute to calm down.”

  “Hey, it’s okay, cry all you want.” He squeezed her hand. “Everybody’s got to have a stress release once in a while.”

  She laughed and cried at the same time. “I’m not crying to relieve stress.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “Oh.” He glanced at her, concern and worry etched on his face. “Did I do something to upset you?”

  “No.” She looked down at her feet, sucked in a couple of deep cleansing breaths and prepared herself for the worst. “I’m sorry. I never meant to get pregnant. My doctors assured me I’d never be able to.” She cupped one hand over her belly.

  “I know. We talked about it, remember?”

  His words didn’t register. He was calm, too calm. “I won’t bother you with anything. No paternity tests, no demands. I promise.”

  He frowned at her. “What?”

  “We’ll stay completely out of your way, so you can live your life the way you want.”

  He drew her toward him. “Out of my way? What are you talking about?”

  Willa resisted his pull and shrank back into the corner. “I promise, we won’t burden you.”

  “You’re not a burden. Where did you get that idea?” He tried to pull her toward him.

  She shook her head. He couldn’t mean it. He was just being nice.

  “Willa, what’s going on?” He looked at her, then looked again. “What are you so afraid of?”

  The laugh that tumbled out of her mouth had an edge of hysteria to it even she could hear. He had the power to hurt her far worse than her ex-husband ever had. “You said repeatedly that you don’t want children. You said over and over again that all you wanted was fun. No commitments, no regrets, just fun.” How could she have known then that she’d want more? His love? She’d destroyed any chance of that now. “You don’t even want a relationship. Remember?”

  “I remember discussing birth control and coming to a mutual decision not to use any. Mutual, as in equal partners. As in this baby is just as much my responsibility as yours.”

  Responsibility? “But—”

  “Willa, look at me.”

  She raised her eyes and gazed into his face. No longer confused or worried, now he looked sad.

  “I could never hurt you. Never.”

  She stared into his eyes and saw the sincerity and caring that was such a large part of who he was. “I know,” she whispered. He might never hurt her, but she could never have him. She couldn’t accept what he couldn’t freely give.

  “Good. Okay, let’s talk about what happens next.”

  “Next?”

  “Yeah, you know, those baby classes couples take before a birth.” He grinned. “Although, we sort of had our crash course already didn’t we?”

  She didn’t understand how he could just carry on like they were having a normal conversation. “I didn’t think you’d want to bother.”

  “Bother? Willa, I’ve spent every waking moment possible with you since the day we met, made love to you more times than I can count and you didn’t think I would bother?”

  “You said we were just having fun. Taking classes isn’t fun, it’s work.”

  He gave her a half grin. “I was an idiot when I said that.” He reached out and squeezed her knee. “Besides, I’ve had more fun with you than a human being has a right to expect. Do you really think I’d want to give that up?”

  “I understand.” Ice seeped into Willa’s arms and legs, numbing her nerve endings. “You like the sex.”

  “You’re missing the point.”

  “Am I? I don’t think so. I need more than instant gratification.”

  “Yes, exactly,” he said with a triumphant expression on his face, as if he’d won the argument.

  She stared at him. “I thought you’d be angry, that you wouldn’t be able to get away from me fast enough.”

  “I was surprised, then I realized I wanted more than fun. I want it all. I want you.”

  Willa ignored the hot thrill that streaked up her spine, melting the ice encasing her heart. His words were magic, as if he’d read the needs of her soul and put words to them. But he couldn’t be serious. Not now. “But I’m pregnant. A package dea
l. You couldn’t possibly want both of us.” That was too much to ask.

  Liam was silent for a moment then said with no trace of a smile, “But that is what I want. I want you and the baby.”

  Willa sighed. “Look at you, you’re gripping the controls so hard your knuckles are white. You don’t really want an instant family and I won’t burden you with it.”

  “Burden me? Are you kidding? You’re the lowest maintenance woman I’ve ever met. Besides, it’s a miracle I got you pregnant at all. How many more chances do you think we’ll get in the baby lottery? We’ve struck it rich, Willa. We’ve won the top prize.”

  She closed her eyes and willed her tears away. How she’d prayed to hear those words from him, but now that she had, she couldn’t believe them.

  She opened her eyes and gazed out the window. Thin clouds obscured the ground from sight. She had to get away from him and give herself time to regain her composure. “Shouldn’t we be landing soon?”

  “We will, just as soon as we hash this out.”

  “What do you mean? Hash what out?”

  “The wedding, of course.”

  She whipped her head around, eyes wide. “You’re out of your mind.”

  “Yep.” He chuckled. “Out of my mind for you.”

  She had to be imagining this. “Stop talking like that.”

  “Talking like what, a lovesick dope who should have told you weeks ago how he really felt?” He looked directly at her with a smile that turned her insides to jelly. “I love you.”

  It was impossible. “You don’t mean that. You’re just feeling sorry for me.”

  “Nope. I. Love. You.”

  “No.” She shook her head, her hands gripping her thighs until they were white. “Please don’t say it.”

  “Too bad, I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me.”

  She could see it in front of her, the dream of a future with Liam and their child. It hung just out of reach, a mirage she’d never touch. “Liam, don’t.” Hot tears dripped down her cheeks and off her chin, scalding the backs of her hands. “Please stop.” Her voice caught. “I don’t want your pity.”

  “That’s good, because I haven’t got any for you.”

  A sob worked its way out of her throat, followed by another and another.

  “I love you times ten,” he said as if they were having a playground argument.

  The ice dam inside her burst wide open and she buried her face in her hands as a flood of hope swept over her.

  After a minute of body-shaking sobs, Liam touched her shoulder with a tentative hand. “Willa? I’m just wondering, is all this crying good for the baby? I mean…aw, hell. I’m sorry. I won’t say I love you anymore if it bothers you that much.” He sighed. “I’m no good at this emotional stuff. Do you think you women could get together and put out a guidebook for us guys so we know what to say when?”

  “Don’t make me laugh,” she said between sobs. “You c-can’t mean it.”

  “What’s it going to take to convince you?” Frustration punctuated his question.

  “What?”

  “What do I need to say so you’ll believe me?”

  Willa opened her mouth to tell him it was no use, but a loud alarm interrupted her, buzzing repeatedly. The plane began to stutter and shake, and she spun around to look out the window.

  The right turbo prop was rapidly slowing down.

  Her hands flattened against the door as fear constricted her lungs. “The right engine isn’t working.”

  “We’ve lost power on that side.” Liam attacked the controls. “Damn it, I can’t find a cause.”

  The aircraft’s descent increased sharply, pushing Willa’s heart into her throat. One hand covering her belly, she braced the other against the forward control panel. Panic gripped her as the nose of the plane dipped and a view of the ground filled the windshield.

  She didn’t want to die. She had too much to live for; holding her baby in her arms, Liam’s smile. The pain of regret, intense and heavy, sat on her chest.

  She forced air into her lungs. “Liam!”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Liam’s hands were white at the knuckles as they gripped the steering console.

  Willa attempted to control her breathing, but watching him struggle with the controls didn’t help. Then she realized he was talking to her.

  “…it’s okay, don’t panic. I’m trying to restart the engine.” He hit the starter. The engine coughed and sputtered but didn’t catch.

  They were losing altitude quickly, the ground rushing toward them. It was not going to be okay.

  Another alarm went off and more warning lights lit up the control board. The plane decelerated even more.

  “We’re losing power on the left engine fast.” Liam swore. “We have to land before we crash.”

  “We get a choice?” she asked, her voice high with fear. Adrenaline rushed through her and she welcomed its bite as it twisted her gut and helped her slow down her breathing.

  Using the flaps, he got the plane’s nose up slightly, but nothing he did made a difference to the defunct engine or the second one now limping along.

  “We’re not going down without a fight,” he said, determination turning his gaze hard. “Even if I have to get out and push.”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Just hang on tight.” Keeping the nose up, he set the plane on a steep descent angle. “There’s just one more thing,” he told her through clenched teeth.

  “What’s that?”

  “I really do love you. You and the baby.”

  “But…” She stared at him, shocked and happy as the ground rose up way too fast.

  “If it’s time you need, no problem. I’ll wait. Just give me a chance. That’s all I ask. I will find a way to prove it to you.”

  Willa watched Liam battle the wounded plane. Battle his own fear. She could see it on his face and in the stiff way he held his body.

  Yet he didn’t let his fear control him.

  He clenched his jaw and growled. “Damn gravity to hell, we aren’t dying today.” His eyes widened. “There! A flat area where we can land.”

  She had to tell him. Had to while there was still time. “I believe you. I love you.”

  A huge smile lit up his face, but there was no time to talk. The second engine sputtered and coughed like a chain smoker.

  “We’re going to hit dirt in a couple seconds. Brace yourself. And don’t die, you got that? No dying allowed.”

  She took a deep breath. “Same goes for you.”

  Liam took a madman’s grip on the controls and locked his elbows.

  The ground leaped up, smacked the plane, throwing their heads back against their seats. The windshield cracked and he pulled up, but the plane fought him. The glass burst inward as the plane hit earth again, this time staying connected, sliding for a long sickening moment that seemed to last for hours.

  Finally, they stopped moving. Liam pried his hands off the wheel and looked over at her. His face seemed to waver.

  He put a hand on her shoulder. “Willa?”

  She tried to answer, but all that came out of her mouth was a moan.

  Her head hurt. Had she hit it on something?

  “Willa,” Liam yelled.

  She wanted to tell him to lower his voice a little, but couldn’t seem to make her tongue work.

  He tore at his seat belt until he could get it off, then bent over her, feeling for injuries. “God, no.”

  She stared at the blood on his hand blankly. Where had that come from?

  His hands shaking, he touched her head again. “There’s a cut on your head. A good-sized bump too.”

  He ran his hands over her, looking for i
njuries. He paused at her belly. Was the baby okay?

  She wanted to ask, but her mouth still wasn’t working.

  He skimmed his hands over her abdomen. They shook. “Everything’s okay,” he muttered to himself. “Everything’s fine.”

  The radio crackled. “Liam, Liam, respond, over.”

  She watched him grab the radio while reaching for the first-aid kit strapped to the rear of the seat. “Jason, where are you? Over.”

  “Saw you land. Do you need help?”

  Liam tore the kit open and grabbed a bandage to press against her head wound. “We didn’t land, we crashed, and I need a damn ambulance. Willa’s hurt.”

  “I alerted the fire department. They should be there in a couple of minutes. How bad is it?”

  “I don’t know. She’s breathing okay, but she’s got a bleeding head wound and probably a concussion.”

  A long moment passed, then Jason’s voice echoed through the radio. “I’ve told them. You should hear them coming any second. Damn it, boy, you’re supposed to be flying my planes, not crashing them.”

  She could hear the sirens now. “You can fire me later. Just get your grouchy old butt to the clinic. I want you there for her when she wakes up.”

  He was going to leave?

  Jason must have thought the same thing, because he asked, “You planning on running, boy?”

  “Hell no, but if I know Willa, she’s going to want to get back to work as soon as she’s conscious. I need you to help me convince her to stay in bed.”

  “Heh.”

  Jason didn’t believe Liam either.

  “Fine, boy, I’ll meet you there.”

  “Thanks. Don’t be in a rush to leave. I’ve got a lot of explaining to do. And not just about a crashed airplane.”

  Liam was saying something else, she could see his lips moving, but there was a buzzing in her ears that drowned everything else out. Then the world went dark.

  Someone was calling her name.