A Place to Call Home

by Sharon Sala

  “Trouble?” Judd asked.

  “No, I just have to play jailer tonight. Tell Charlie I’ll call in the morning.”

  Judd frowned. “I could do that for you,” he said.

  Wade gave him a cool look. “Want to explain to a federal marshal why you’re pretty much AWOL from your own department?”

  Judd grinned wryly. “Not really.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Wade said. “It’s no big deal, and it’s not like I haven’t done this before. There’s a cot in the office. I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, but if you need me…”

  Wade nodded. “I’ll know where you are.”

  Judd walked him to the door, then locked it behind Wade. He stood, listening until the sound of Wade’s cruiser was no longer evident. Then he reached down and turned on the old family lamp, smiling to himself as he turned to go. But the smile died on his face, leaving him weak-kneed and suddenly breathless.

  Charlie was standing in the shadows, and even though her nightgown was decent enough, the vague outline of her body beneath the soft, worn fabric made him ache for what she could offer.

  “I didn’t see you,” he muttered.

  “Where was Wade going?” she asked, ignoring his remark.

  “Said something about having to play jailer for some federal marshal.”

  She sighed. “He needs more help,” she said. Then she glanced at the lamp. “So you know,” she said softly.

  “Wade mentioned the family tradition the other day.”

  She nodded and looked away, rubbing her hands against her arms, as if she were suddenly chilled.

  “Charlotte.”

  She looked up, drawn by something in the tone of his voice.

  “What?”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?” she asked.

  “For leaving that light on for me.”

  She sighed, as if giving up some internal struggle.

  “You’re welcome,” she said softly.

  He started toward her, and to her credit, she stood her ground, but when he got closer, he could tell she was trembling. He stopped.

  “Hell, Charlotte, please tell me you’re not afraid.” “I can’t,” she whispered.

  Her honesty pierced him, sharper than any knife could have done. He shook his head in disbelief.

  She was visibly shaking now, so much so that Judd thought she might faint.

  “You can’t think I would hurt you?”

  “I’ve already told you, I know you will hurt me, Judd Hanna. But not in the way that you mean.”

  “Then what are you afraid of?”

  “That someday I’ll think of you and won’t be able to recall your face.”

  Her words were like a kick in the gut. Without thinking, he reached for her, thrusting his fingers through her hair and tilting her face to his.

  “God help us both, lady. If you intend to run, do it now.”

  But Charlotte didn’t run. On the contrary. She took a step forward, and then another, until she could feel the warmth of his body against the thrust of her breasts.

  “Are you going to make love to me?” she whispered.

  “Only if you want me, Charlie.”

  She sighed. “I must be out of my mind.”

  “Not yet,” Judd said. “But you will be.”

  He lowered his head.

  It was nothing like Charlie had expected. Having based her entire experience on making love with Pete Tucker’s gropes and kisses, she wasn’t prepared for this man. Somewhere between their first kiss and her next heartbeat, she lost her voice and what was left of her mind. The heat of his mouth pulled at her senses. His hands, moving upon her breasts, then across her shoulders and down her back, lay claim to all that they touched. He moved, pinning her between the wall and his body, then lifted the hem of her gown and cupped her backside with both hands. The hard ridge of him rode between the juncture of her thighs, and as she arched against the pressure, she thought she might die. So long—it had been so long.

  In the midst of their passion lay a truth Judd couldn’t ignore. He wanted to make love to this woman more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, but he wasn’t prepared to protect her. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, willing himself not to explode, yet when she wrapped her legs around him, he buried his face against the curve of her neck and groaned.

  “Oh, Charlotte.”

  Her breath was little more than brief gasps. Her head was tilted back, exposing the slender column of her throat. The knowledge that she was so far gone this fast was almost more than he could bear. But while he wouldn’t let himself take that last step with her, there was no way he was going to deny her the ride. He slid his hand between them until he heard her gasp.

  Seconds later, she let out a soft moan as she followed the path of his touch, and when, moments later, she collapsed in his arms, he scooped her up and carried her down the hall to her bed.

  The aftermath was uncomfortable for both of them. Judd was still aching to the back of his teeth, needing a release he wasn’t going to get, and Charlie was stunned by her uninhibited response to a man who’d given her pleasure while taking none of his own. The moment he laid her down on the bed, she covered her face.

  “Why?” she whispered. “Why did you let me do that alone?”

  Judd moved her hands, forcing her to look at him.

  “I wasn’t prepared to protect you,” he said. “And I damn sure wasn’t going to leave you in the same condition Pete Tucker did.”

  She groaned. What must Judd think of her? She was the one who would have suffered the consequences, yet one touch from this man and her good sense had completely disappeared. She rolled over, then sat up on the side of the bed, smoothing her hair and her gown at the same time, too embarrassed to face him.

  Judd sighed.

  “Charlotte?”

  She stilled, waiting for the rest of his question.

  “Look at me…please.”

  She bit her lip, then looked up.

  “For the love of God, don’t be sorry that happened.”

  She shook her head in disbelief.

  “How can I?” she asked. “You gave me more than just a physical release. You made me remember something I’d almost forgotten.”

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “That I’m not just Wade’s sister, or Rachel’s mother. You gave me back my sense of self, Judd Hanna, and for that, I will be forever thankful.”

  Judd groaned, and then took her hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing the curve of her palm before he pushed himself off of the bed. He was halfway to the door when he stopped and turned.

  “There’s just one other thing you should know,” he said.

  She held her breath, almost afraid to listen.

  “The next time you experience that sense of self you were talking about, I’m going to be so deep inside you, you won’t know where you stop and I start.”

  It wasn’t until he closed the door quietly behind him that Charlie realized she was still holding her breath. With his promise still echoing within the silence of her room, she exhaled on a slow, shaky sob and then lay down and pulled the covers up over her head.

  Long after Charlie had gone back to sleep, Judd was still in the shower, standing beneath the pounding of a cold, steady spray. Oddly enough, when he finally made it back to bed, he fell asleep almost instantly, sleeping without dreaming until the sun coming in the window woke him to the day.

  * * *

  Judd smelled the coffee and stretched, reveling in the luxury of getting up to something other than the strident peal of an alarm. Yet when he rolled over to pick up his watch to check the time, he remembered he didn’t have a watch anymore. He’d given it to Davie Dandridge. He made a mental note to stop in at the pharmacy today and pick up another one. It didn’t have to be fancy. All he needed was for the darn thing to keep time.

  He heard the phone ringing as he was getting dressed. Probably Wade. He’d promised
to call. He stomped his feet in his boots and headed for the bathroom to wash his face, tucking his shirt in as he went. A short while later he was reaching for a towel when he realized he was no longer alone.

  “Well, now, good morning, little girl. Did you get out of bed by yourself again?”

  Rachel nodded sleepily, then draped her blanket over one shoulder and lifted her arms to be held.

  Judd reached down, lifting her into his arms and cuddling her close to his chest. Still sleepy, she snuggled, laying her head on his shoulder and shifting until the crown of her head was directly beneath his chin. In spite of the bony jut of his collarbone, that seemed to be her favorite spot to lie.

  “You’re sure something, you know that?” he said softly, and because no one was looking, he gave himself permission to snuggle her back.

  Her tousled curls tickled his nose, and once again, he felt her latch on to his shirt with her fist. He knew if he looked, she would probably be sucking her thumb, too. Sweet baby moments. Who would share these with her when he was gone?

  Then he sighed. Wade, of course—and Charlie. Who better to watch her grow up than a doting uncle and a loving mother? He started out of the bathroom with her still in his arms, but the closer he got to the kitchen, the more anxious he became. But what if she needed someone and Wade wasn’t around? What if she got away from Charlie again as she had before? Who would rescue her then? By the time he got to the kitchen, his gut was in a knot. Last night, he’d held Charlie in his arms and felt this same damn way—this gut-wrenching panic that they would one day need him and he wouldn’t be around.

  But before he could sort through his feelings, Charlie saw them and smiled. After that, the knot in his gut took another hitch.

  “Good morning,” Charlie said. “Did she wake you again?”

  “No, she just came to watch me shave.”

  Charlie’s smile slipped a bit. “I used to love to watch my daddy shave,” she said, then reached for a cup. “Ready for some coffee?”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said softly, and then he cupped the back of her head, forcing her to look at him. “About last night…”

  “Don’t,” Charlie said. “Don’t apologize. Don’t make excuses. Just…just…don’t ruin something that was special to me.”

  He hesitated, then Rachel squirmed and the subject was changed.

  “‘Mallows?” she asked.

  Judd grinned as Charlie shook her head.

  “No, baby, we don’t eat marshmallows for breakfast,” Charlie said. “How about some scrambled eggs and jelly toast?”

  Her lower lip slid forward. Just as she was beginning to argue, Judd interrupted her train of thought.

  “That sounds good to me,” he said. “Can I have some of your scrambled eggs?”

  The idea of sharing food with this man was intriguing. They’d shared ‘mallows. Sharing eggs should be okay, too.

  “Ekks,” she said, nodding her okay. “With toas.”

  Charlie giggled. “Ekks and toas it is,” she said. “Judd will put you in your high chair while Mommy fixes your breakfast, okay?”

  “Do you care if I take her with me to the barn instead? We need to see if that old mama cat had her kittens yet, don’t we, baby girl?”

  “Let me take her to the bathroom first, and you’ve got a deal,” Charlie said.

  Judd poured himself a cup of coffee while he waited for them to come back. And all the while he was sipping and staring out the window, he kept trying to picture himself in this role for at least the next fifty years. Oddly enough, the thought didn’t panic him as it once might have. What would it be like, he wondered, to go to bed and wake up beside this woman for the rest of his life? To laugh with her and cry with her and even grow old with her?

  “Here you go,” Charlie said. “One busy little girl, ready to start your day.”

  Judd picked her up and started outside. The moment they got off the porch, he swung her up on his shoulders, letting her straddle his neck.

  “Hang on tight, baby girl,” he said, and planted both his hands in the center of her back to keep her steady.

  Rachel laughed aloud and fisted her hands in his hair to hang on.

  “Ouch, ouch, ouch,” he yelped. “Don’t pull Daddy’s hair.”

  The moment it came out of his mouth, he groaned, thankful that no one had heard the Freudian slip.

  The word daddy was foreign to Rachel, and the notion of being this high off the ground was too exciting for anything else.

  “See da cows?”

  Judd sighed. “Yes, honey. I see the cows. Now, if I could only see what was wrong with this mess inside my head, we’d all be a lot better off.”

  A short while later, they headed back to the house to tell Mommy that the Franklin homestead was four kittens richer than it had been last night.

  But when they got inside, Judd learned that Charlie had some news of her own. Once Rachel was eating, Charlie served them, as well.

  “Looks great,” Judd said. “I feel sorry for Wade, missing out on all of this.”

  Charlie shrugged. “He’s used to my cooking. It’s nothing special to him.”

  “If he had to live on his own, he’d think differently,” Judd said. “By the way, didn’t I hear the phone ring earlier?”

  Charlie was shoving her eggs around on her plate, trying to think of a way to bring up the idea she’d had. His question gave her just the right spot.

  “Yes, it was Wade. Said he’d be home to shower and change after nine.” Then she pushed her plate aside and leaned forward, ready to state her case before Judd could change the subject. “I had an idea this morning.”

  Judd started to smile, but the seriousness of her expression changed his mind.

  “Oh? About what?” he asked.

  “I’ve overheard you and Wade talking about Raymond. You know, about the fact that maybe someone from his past is responsible for what happened to him.”

  “That’s right, although it is just a theory,” Judd said.

  “And a good one,” Charlie added. “Which brings me to my idea. I wondered how you were going to check that out? Are you going to interview people he grew up with, or just talk to Raymond again?”

  “Probably a little of both,” Judd said. “Although, to be honest, I doubt we’re going to get much more out of Shuler. I get the feeling he’s not telling us the whole truth, but he’s definitely not ready to talk about it.”

  “I could help,” she said.

  Judd looked startled. The idea of putting Charlie in any sort of danger, however remote, wasn’t happening.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” he said, and then the disappointment on her face made him add, “What did you have in mind?”

  “The library.”

  “What?”

  “The library. There’re more than fifty years of newspapers on microfiche, and I think there’s a copy of every Call City Cougar since 1907.”

  “What’s a Call City Cougar?” Judd asked, intrigued in spite of himself.

  “The school yearbook. I know it’s a long shot, but maybe it would be a place to start.”

  Judd started to smile.

  Charlie sighed. “Don’t laugh at me,” she said.

  “No, you misunderstand,” Judd said. “It’s a damned good idea. In fact, it’s better than the one that I had. So how about we do this together?” Then he remembered Rachel. “What about her? I don’t think she’ll do too well in a place where she’s supposed to be quiet.”

  Charlie was so excited that he’d agreed that she was almost giggling.

  “Oh, we have a neighbor a couple of miles down the road. Mrs. Miller? You know the place. She lives in that green-and-white house with the two cedar trees in the front yard. She loves to baby-sit for me. I’ve already called her…just to make sure she was free.”

  “Okay, then, Nancy Drew. It’s a date.”

  Charlie looked a little surprised, and then chuckled. Nancy Drew, indeed. Granted, her idea to research the town’s written h
istory was hardly on the same level as the renowned fictional sleuth, but it was heady stuff just the same.

  Chapter 10

  “Wow,” Charlie muttered as she and Judd entered the library. “Would you take a look at Wilma!”

  Judd looked at the woman behind the check-out counter. “I see her, but what am I supposed to be looking at?”

  “That red hair used to be mousy brown with some big streaks of gray. And I don’t ever remember seeing her dress like that.’’

  Judd still didn’t see anything particularly unusual. “You mean that purple flowered thing?”

  “It’s so short!” Charlie hissed. “I can almost see her knees.”

  Judd grinned. “Now, Charlie, you’re complaining to the wrong person. I’ve always been a leg man.’’

  Charlie blushed. “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “I wasn’t criticizing her, I was just surprised, that’s all.’’

  At that point, Wilma looked up, then smiled and waved.

  “Good morning, Charlotte,” she said. “Did you come to pick out some more books for that little sweetheart of yours?”

  “No, ma’am,” Judd said. “I thought I’d pick them out for myself this time.”

  It was hard to say who looked more shocked, Charlie or Wilma. And then Judd grinned and Charlie regained enough sense to introduce him.

  “Wilma, this incorrigible man is Judd Hanna. He’s acting deputy while Hershel is on his honeymoon.”

  Wilma’s eyes suddenly rounded. “Oh! I know who you are,” she cried. “You’re the man who saved little Rachel from that awful bull.”

  This time it was Judd’s turn to blush. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, then quickly changed the subject. “We need to look at everything you might have pertaining to Call City and its citizens over the past twenty…maybe even twenty-five years.”

  Wilma pivoted sharply, patting her hair as she went, just to make sure it was all still in place, and headed for the microfiche. Her step was light and there was a slight sway to her backside that hadn’t been there before. The changes in her appearance were to be expected, of course. After all, she was no longer a virgin. She’d looked upon the naked male form and survived. She was now officially a woman. As for her hairdo, Audie Murphy, the World War II hero-turned-movie-star, had always been her idea of a real man. The change in color was her own personal “red badge of courage” for seeing Raymond Shuler naked.