Finding the Sky

by A. M. Burns

  “We’ve got a small gym in the basement. If you want, you can start joining me in my workouts.”

  Dillon looked at Scott. “I didn’t realize that you work out.”

  Scott held up his cowboy hat and pulled off his T-shirt. It took him a little contorting to do it without taking off his backpack too, but he managed. The moonlight at the pond hadn’t done justice to his sculpted body. “I didn’t get this body by just handling birds. I spend half an hour or longer most days down there. You cut into my workout time a bit, but that’s okay. I don’t think a little cutting down is going to impact me too much.”

  “You’ve never mentioned if you play sports. I bet they want you on all the teams.”

  “It’s a small school… they do.” Scott tucked his shirt so it hung out of his right front jeans pocket. “I played football a couple of years ago, but my dads decided they don’t like the possibility of me getting a concussion or anything major broken, so we decided I wouldn’t participate anymore.”

  “Mom never wanted me to get hurt either. Most kids’ folks don’t seem to really care, as long as their kid is a sports star.” Even though he tried to keep his eyes focused between Dusty’s slightly curved ears, Dillon kept finding his gaze drifting back to Scott’s bare torso. I’ve never looked at a girl like this before, not even at the pool last summer when all the pretty girls were trying to spend time with Robbie. I keep wondering if I’m really drawn to Scott, and everything keeps screaming at me, yes!

  “My dads would rather me be a doctor than a player. Schoolwork comes first when school’s in session. It gets maddening sometimes, particularly when the other kids are going to Corsicana or Athens for events and I’ve got to come home and make sure I keep my grades up, but in the long run, it’ll pay off.”

  “I hope so. Mom was always more worried about the gangs getting their hooks in me than me keeping up my grades. But she did want me to do good and get out of the hood.”

  “She loved you.” Scott reached across the small distance between the horses and squeezed Dillon’s shoulder. “Don’t ever forget that. And hey, you’re out of the hood now. It’s probably not the way she wanted, but you’re out.”

  A sad lump rose in Dillon’s throat, and he swallowed. “I guess you’re right.”

  They paused as the road they were on teed into another dirt road. Scott angled them to the left.

  “So how comfortable are you on Dusty?” A wicked gleam sparkled in Scott’s brown eyes.

  “He’s being fairly easy on me.”

  “Good.” Scott kicked Rusty in the ribs and grabbed his cowboy hat. “Yee-haw!” The blood bay horse shot forward in a cloud of dust.

  Dusty quickly moved from a gentle walk to a gallop in Rusty’s wake. Dillon gripped the saddle horn harder and held on for dear life as the horse sped down the road.

  The wild ride didn’t last very long as they topped a rise and the blue vista of the lake spread out ahead of them. The road turned from dirt to pavement right before a long bridge that spanned the lake. At the pavement Scott slowed to a walk and angled Rusty off the road to walk sedately down the entrance to a small parking lot with a couple of trucks parked near a boat ramp.

  Dillon was out of breath as he and Dusty caught up with Scott and Rusty. “You couldn’t give a guy a warning?” he huffed.

  Scott looked over his broad shoulder with the same playful look in his eyes. “You kept your seat. I would’ve stopped if you fell off. It’s cool to ride a horse at a gallop for a few minutes, don’t you think?”

  As his heart slowed to its normal pace, Dillon had to agree. “I guess. Okay, yeah, it was cool, after it stopped being scary.”

  “I think the scary part can be really cool the first few times. Then the scary goes away, and it’s just cool.” Scott steered them out the north side of the parking lot, down a narrow uneven trail. “We’re almost there.”

  18

  AN ARM of the lake pushed toward the east, and the trail followed it around. They rode as the lake narrowed, eventually to the point that they could easily see across the water, and the open space of the main body of water was out of sight. Scott reined in and brought Rusty to a stop. Dillon followed suit. When he mirrored Scott’s dismount, Dillon’s legs wobbled under him, and he held on to the saddle for a moment as his blood returned to its normal course and he found he could stand easier.

  By the time he felt like he could walk, Scott was at his side. “Let’s tie the horses to this tree. There’s a bit of grass they can reach. Before we head back, we’ll let them get a drink.”

  “Why not now?”

  “Not so soon after a run. Give them a couple of minutes to cool down.” Scott pulled the backpack off and opened it. He pulled out what looked to be a couple of pairs of shorts and tossed one to Dillon. “Here, I wasn’t sure if you had a bathing suit or not, and we’re about the same size.”

  “We’re going to use clothes when swimming this time?” Dillon looked at the tag in the swimwear; it was the right size.

  “It’s daylight, and we never know if someone’s going to come by or not.” Scott started to undo his jeans.

  A rush of self-consciousness washed over Dillon. When they’d been at the pond, it had been night. Scott’s right, someone might see us. He moved to put the horses between him and the lake. There were a few heavy bushes on the far side of them too.

  “I’m heading in!” Scott shouted right before a loud splash came from his direction.

  Dillon hurriedly changed. On his way to the lakeside, he spotted Scott’s clothes lying on top of the backpack, and he dropped his there too.

  The lake water was cooler than the pond had been weeks before. There was also a slight fishy smell to it. Slick rocks covered the lake bottom, forcing Dillon to walk gingerly out to where Scott’s head bobbed just above the gentle waves.

  Right before he reached Scott, the lake bottom dropped sharply, and Dillon was forced to swim. He sputtered water at Scott. “I guess I should’ve expected that.”

  “Yeah, some of the drop-offs around here are a bit unexpected.” Scott swam closer to Dillon. “It definitely gets deeper than the pond does.”

  Dillon dropped below the surface, letting the murky water cover his head. He couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of his face. Slight movement in the water right in front of him drew his attention. That must be Scott. He swam that direction and was soon sure of his deduction. He grabbed Scott’s waist and yanked him down, then swam back to the air.

  Scott blew water at Dillon as he surfaced. “What’d you do that for?”

  “Getting back for the galloping.” Dillon gave him a wicked grin. “I think we’re even.”

  “Really?” Scott lunged at him, caught him around the chest, and pushed him under water.

  They rolled together for a minute, before Dillon pushed away from Scott and swam for the surface. He laughed and sputtered as he made it to the air.

  Seconds later Scott caught his leg, and Dillon drank a mouthful of lake water as he got yanked back down. They swam and played until Dillon’s arms and chest hurt, the latter as much from laughing and shouting as swimming.

  After they dried off, Scott spread a large beach towel with Tweety Bird on it over a spot near the water’s edge that was clear of large rocks. They took a moment and let the horses get a drink before they settled on the towel. The sun blazed down on them, but with a soft breeze blowing off the water, it didn’t feel extremely hot.

  Dillon was more at ease than he could remember ever being. He looked at Scott reclining on the blanket next to him. I’m relaxed and happy because of Scott. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he hadn’t been here. I’d probably still be in my room surrounded by boxes full of stuff and not out trying to keep going with my life. I know Mom would want me to keep living.

  “What are you thinking?” Scott asked.

  “How nice it is to be out here and not in my room.”

  “Yeah, being outside is definitely an improvement to inside.�
� Scott paused and stared into Dillon’s eyes. “Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?”

  Heat that had nothing to do with the sun rose in Dillon’s face. “No.”

  “Well, you are. You have a nice strong face, gorgeous eyes, and your skin. I’ve never met anyone with skin that’s so close to the color of caramel.” He reached out a hand toward Dillon, but stopped just inches from his chest. “Do you mind if I touch you?”

  Thoughts zinged through Dillon’s head. Do I mind? No I don’t mind. Can I touch you? If you touch me and I like it as much as I like your hugs, then maybe I really am gay. If I don’t like it, what do I say? “No.” A long slow breath escaped him. “I don’t mind.”

  Warm tingles erupted on his chest as Scott’s fingertips traced along the slight definition he had in his chest. Part of him wanted to lie back on the towel and just let Scott explore him, but a larger part wanted to feel Scott’s body. This is different than hugging. This is more intimate. His fingers feel really good on me.

  “Can I touch you?” Dillon forced the whispered question out.

  “Please.” Scott breathed huskily.

  It was all Dillon could do to not let his hands shake as he touched Scott’s chest. It was harder than he expected, but silky soft with a thin sheen of sweat on it. Dillon’s heart pounded, and for a moment, he felt Scott’s pulse too.

  “Your heart’s really working hard.” Scott had his hand flat on the center of Dillon’s chest. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

  Dillon shook his head. “No. Not with a guy or a girl.”

  “If anything gets too intense, we can stop.” Scott moved his hand over Dillon’s nipple, causing a more intense wave of pleasurable energy to shoot through him. “I’ve played around with a couple of the boys at school, but afterward they decided they liked girls better than me.” There was a slight hint of bitterness in Scott’s voice.

  “You hold my attention like no girl ever has.” Dillon rubbed his hand over Scott’s nipple, hoping that the sensation he felt would be like what Dillon had. He was a little surprised by the hard, almost rubbery feel of Scott’s nipple and by the two small dark hairs there. “I don’t know for sure if I’m gay or bi, but you’re the sexiest thing I think I’ve ever seen.” The more Dillon talked, the more relaxed he got and the easier the words came out.

  Scott grinned at him. “Good. I think you’re sexy too.” He leaned closer to Dillon. “Can I kiss you?” The words were low and husky.

  “Please.” Dillon closed the last inch or so that separated them.

  For a moment it was like his whole body was on fire as their lips touched. The smell of lake water mingled with the clean smell of Scott that he was used to when they hugged, but there was more. Scott wrapped an arm around Dillon’s shoulder and pulled them closer together. Dillon hugged him back as their kiss lengthened. When Scott plunged his tongue into Dillon’s mouth, it was like a fleshy molten Popsicle.

  Dillon gasped, then pushed his own tongue into Scott’s mouth. Scott’s teeth raked across his tongue as he explored inside.

  The sound of a small motor interrupted them. Scott broke their kiss and looked toward the lake. “Shit, there’s a boat heading this way.” He moved a few inches away from Dillon and frowned. “If either one of us was a girl, we wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”

  “I know. But I’m happy that you aren’t a girl. That felt amazing.”

  “Yeah, it did. If he stops over here and fishes, we might as well be on our way.”

  “You’re turning a little red anyway.” Dillon pointed at Scott’s bare shoulder. “Plus we’ve got to feed critters when we get back.”

  “You don’t have to help me.” Scott started to get up.

  Dillon caught his hand and pulled him down for a parting kiss. “I want to help.”

  “Thanks,” Scott whispered as their lips parted. “Now, let’s at least get our jeans on before that boat gets too close. He’s trolling slowly, but it won’t take him too long.” His gaze passed over Dillon as he stood.

  Their damp bathing suits didn’t leave much to either’s imagination. Dillon knew he was excited and for the first time in his life, it didn’t make him blush.

  “I think you really enjoyed that.” Scott nodded at Dillon’s crotch.

  “You too.” Dillon walked toward the pile of clothes on the backpacks. He grabbed his jeans but didn’t head behind the horses. He just turned his back to the lake as he yanked down his swimsuit.

  “See, even your cock is nice.” Scott also yanked down his suit. “Maybe one of these days, if you want, I can show you how to make it feel really good.”

  Dillon pulled on his black cotton underwear. “Only if you show me how to make you feel good too.” He tried to not stare at Scott’s exposed hard dick in its thick nest of brown hair.

  “Plan.” Scott grabbed his clothes, and they both managed to get their jeans on before the boat slowly got close enough that they could easily make out the overweight man steering it.

  They finished getting dressed and mounted the horses as the man stopped the boat and cast his fishing line into the water where they’d been swimming.

  DILLON TRIED to find a comfortable position in the saddle as they rode toward home. “Scott, can I ask you a question?”

  “If it’s when did I know I was gay, I’ve kind of always known. Having Alex and Paul around helped me realize it easier.”

  “No, not that. You asked permission each time before we did anything. Why did you do that?”

  “It’s only polite. I think more relationships, or even brief encounters, would go better if folks asked first. It’s respectful, don’t you think?”

  Dillon paused for a moment before answering. “Yeah, I think it is. Where did you learn that?”

  “Believe it or not, school. Kerens doesn’t teach the abstinence nonsense some of the other schools teach. But they make a big deal about getting permission before you do anything. I talked to my dads about it, and they agreed, especially since I’m gay. If I don’t ask permission and there’s a misunderstanding about someone’s intentions, it might not end well.” He gave Dillon a long searching look. “I wasn’t completely sure that you would be receptive. I figured you would, after our hugs and hand-holding, but for anything more, I wanted to be sure. I also didn’t want to scare you off.”

  “I don’t think you can scare me off now, but thanks for worrying about how I would react.” Dillon reached across the open space between them and patted Scott’s leg. “I really appreciate it.” I don’t think I have any doubts now. I want to explore everything Scott can teach me. Just kissing made me feel so great. I hope his dads and Uncle Bryan will be understanding. A happy silence settled over them as they rode along the dirt road toward the house. Dillon wished he could’ve kept his hand on Scott’s leg the whole time, but the horses didn’t cooperate, and they kept moving farther away, then closer. But it didn’t matter. The warm giddy feeling that welled up in Dillon flowed through him.

  19

  “UNCLE BRYAN, I have a question.” Dillon sat at the table and looked at his dinner plate.

  “Okay, shoot.” Uncle Bryan carried a plate of steaks from the counter to the table.

  “We said a couple of weeks ago that we were going to be open and honest with each other, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Good.” Dillon stabbed a steak and hauled it to his plate. After the afternoon ride, swim, then chores when they got home, he was hungry. He swallowed and his heart pounded nearly as hard as when Scott had kissed him. “So would it be okay for Scott and me to have sex here?”

  The bottle of steak sauce in Uncle Bryan’s hand crashed to the tile floor, shattering and spilling strong-smelling, thick sauce across the tan tile. “Shit.” Uncle Bryan dashed to the sink and grabbed a towel.

  Dillon surged out of his seat and began delicately picking up the pieces of the broken bottle. “I didn’t mean to startle you like that.”

  Uncle Bryan knelt d
own carefully and started swabbing up the heavy brown mess. “I guess I should expect questions like that. I just wasn’t expecting them so soon. That’s what I get for saying I wanted us to be honest with each other.” He paused with sauce dripping from the towel back down on the floor and stared at Dillon. “Are you sure about this?” Then he glanced down and frantically cleaned up the rest of the mess.

  Dillon carried the bottle shards to the trash. “I think so. We kissed today. It was incredible.”

  “And you think that you’re ready to move right from kissing to sex?” Uncle Bryan took the towel full of sauce and rinsed it in the sink.

  “Maybe not right from.” Dillon returned to his chair. “I don’t know. I’ve never kissed anyone who wasn’t family before. I know Scott makes me feel… great and awesome just don’t seem to do it justice. There’s so much more to it than words can describe.”

  Uncle Bryan walked into the pantry and came out with a new bottle of steak sauce. “With as much as you read and you’re at a loss for words, this must be serious.” Uncle Bryan took his seat. “I’m glad that you and Scott are exploring things. I’m really thrilled that you and I can talk about stuff like this. As long as you are both sure this is what you want to do, I’d much rather have you doing it somewhere I know where you are than out in some bushes somewhere that might get you into trouble or worse. A couple of things.”

  Dillon cut his steak. “What things?”

  “First, if I’m home, be conscious of your noise level. The walls of this house aren’t that thick.”

  Nodding, Dillon swallowed his bite. “Okay. And?”

  “Make sure it’s okay with Alex and Paul. I doubt they’ll have a problem with it. It’s not like either one of you can get pregnant. I think they’ll feel the same way I do. Better at home than out and about.”

  “I don’t know if Scott’s planning on talking to them or not. He says he’s fooled around with some of the guys from school. So he has some experience.”