Linda Ford - [Three Brides, Three Cowboys 02]

by The Cowboy Father

  Leila stayed for supper and then he took her home, letting Ellie ride along. The pair whispered and giggled together on the trip.

  Later, after he’d returned, put Ellie to bed and retired to his own bed, he lay staring in the darkness.

  God, I have a long way to go yet, but I think I’m ready to start a journey of trust with You. I want to take the journey hand in hand with Louisa.

  Would she forgive him for turning away from her pain? All he could hope was she would give him a chance to explain.

  He waited until Ellie went to school the next morning, then headed for the Morgan place.

  Their vehicle was missing. But perhaps she was home alone. That would be good. But no one came to the door to answer his knock.

  His nervousness tripled. He had to speak to her as soon as possible. Perhaps Judd and Madge knew of her whereabouts. He jumped into his truck and raised a cloud of dust in his hurried departure.

  At the Kirk place, he veered toward the barn where Judd stood in the doorway, a hunk of iron in his hand.

  “What brings you out here in such a rush?” Judd asked.

  “I need to see Louisa.”

  Judd leaned against the door frame and studied him. “You hurt her. I don’t much appreciate that.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah? That girl is well worth loving even if she can’t have children.”

  “I don’t care about that. I was only upset because—” It sounded stupid now, but he explained it as best he could. “I know now I have to trust God for things like life and death and everything in between. I want to tell Louisa. Hopefully she will give me another chance.”

  “I certainly hope you mean what you say, but I’m not sure—”

  “I love her, Judd. I want to marry her.”

  Judd laughed. “I was about to say I’m not sure where she is.”

  “What?”

  “She left a few days ago to visit an uncle. She plans to go to Normal school and become a teacher. Hear she was good at the work.”

  “Yes. But—you don’t know where she is?”

  “No. But Madge does. Let’s see if you can convince her she should tell you.”

  Emmet followed Judd to the house.

  Madge glanced up, and when she saw Emmet she frowned. “I’m not sure I want you here.”

  Only his determination to find Louisa and explain his reasons for turning away from her gave him the courage to face her displeasure. “I need to talk to Louisa.”

  “Seems to me you’ve said and done enough already.” She stepped closer.

  He gave a wary glance toward the big wooden spoon she shook at him. “I’d like a chance to change all that.”

  Madge hesitated. “How is that possible? You made it clear you want nothing to do with a woman who can’t give you children.”

  “That wasn’t my intention.”

  She crossed her arms, the spoon clearly evident in her grasp. “So what was?”

  “She cried when she told me.” His words were hoarse as his throat tightened. “I couldn’t bear her pain.”

  Madge’s expression softened. “So what’s changed?”

  “Me. I realized I can’t protect everyone I love from life and its challenges.” He wouldn’t tell her more. That confession belonged to Louisa. “I think she would want to hear what I have to say.” He didn’t care that he sounded desperate. “I’m prepared to plead.”

  Madge turned to Judd and they communicated silently, then she moved to Judd’s side and wrapped her arms around his waist, the wooden spoon hanging from her free arm. “I’m prepared to give you one chance, but if you hurt her again…” She brandished her weapon.

  “You’ll have the whole family to answer to,” Judd added.

  For a moment, Emmet hesitated. “I can’t be responsible for her response.”

  Madge snorted. “I think you’ll find my sister most reasonable.”

  The next day, address tucked in his pocket, he headed for Edmonton. He didn’t explain to Ellie where he was going or why. Just in case Louisa rejected him.

  God, I’m trusting You.

  Of course, as Leila said, he couldn’t begin to understand God’s ways. That’s why trusting was hard. And required faith. If he knew everything and understood all the reasons, there would be no need to trust anything but his own wisdom.

  Louisa sat in a wicker rocker on the veranda of Uncle Peter’s home. She had enjoyed every minute of her visit and planned to extend it until she must return home to pack for Normal school. Uncle Peter said but of course she would live here while she attended classes. She welcomed the idea. God willing, she would even find a job in the city when she graduated.

  She turned her attention back to the sketchbook before her. Her intention had been to draw the flowers surrounding the veranda. Clematis crept up the side, almost blocking the view of the street. Yellow rosebushes stood grandly on each side of the entrance.

  In the trees around the yard, birds sang. She’d identified the song of the vireo and even caught a glimpse of the shy bird. She’d seen an oriole, a tanager, robins, several species of sparrows and two kinds of hawks. She’d begun a journal of bird sightings, sketching them as often as possible. Maybe when she was a teacher, she would use this information.

  Most of all, she enjoyed listening to the birds sing. She was getting her own song back, though it had a mourning quality to it. She would never stop missing Emmet. But she was learning to find peace in the midst of her pain.

  One thing she had decided she would do was to pray for both his and Ellie’s happiness. Bless Emmet with happiness and peace. Bless Ellie. She wasn’t yet able to pray that Ellie would be blessed with a mother. But perhaps someday she would be able to.

  A vehicle stopped nearby. She paid it little attention. Uncle Peter had gone to his office, and she knew no one who would call on her in the city. Perhaps one day she would feel ready to contact old friends, should there be any left living nearby. For now she was content to heal and prepare for the future.

  A step sounded on the sidewalk, and she jerked about to see who approached the house. Through the canopy of leaves she almost thought it was Emmet. How many times would she look up at a man his size and build and feel her heart explode with hope?

  She watched the man draw closer. Reach the step and mount to the porch. “Emmet?” Was she dreaming?

  “Louisa. I’ve found you.”

  “I didn’t realize I was lost.” It was a silly thing to say, but she couldn’t let herself believe he’d come for any special reason. “What business brings you to the city?”

  “I’m not here on business. I’m here to see you.”

  She sat with her feet curled up beneath her and now dropped them to the floor. “Is something wrong? Mother? Sally? Madge? Did Madge get hurt helping Judd?”

  “No one is hurt.” He snagged a chair from the opposite side of the veranda and pulled it close. He sat facing her. “I’ve come to see you.”

  She stared. She would not hope. She would not try and guess what he wanted.

  “Louisa, I want to explain.”

  “No need.” She did not want to hear how he simply couldn’t give up his dream of a big family. Something she could not give him. No excuses, please. Please do not say it’s not personal. Because it is.

  “You once asked me about how my parents died. You even suggested there was a big lump of something that stopped my heart. You were right. I just didn’t realize it.” He told the story of his parents’ death. Of feeling he was to blame. His father’s unfair accusation.

  Long before he finished, she leaned forward, pressing her hands to his.

  “I realize that I have always held myself responsible even for things I have no control over.” He looked into her eyes, searching beyond the surface, exploring her heart.

  She too sought the deeper meaning in his words at seeing his eyes fully unshuttered for the first time ever. Hope sprang fully bloomed, even though she warned herself she still could not give
him what he wanted.

  “Louisa, when you said you couldn’t have children and I saw the pain in your face, heard it in your voice, I knew what a disappointment it was for you. I knew I couldn’t fix it. All I could think was how could I see this pain in you every day and be able to do absolutely nothing about it? I failed before I started.” He shrugged. “Talking about it, I realize how little sense it makes, but it made so much sense to me at the time. I couldn’t think of how I would live with a pain I couldn’t fix.”

  “I’m sorry, but I will never be able to give you the large family you’ve always wanted.” She sat back slowly, pulled her hands to her lap.

  “I don’t care about that. Don’t you see? It isn’t not having a large family that matters. It’s knowing I can’t keep this pain from you.” He grabbed her hands, knelt at her feet. “I love you, Louisa Morgan. So much that your pain seemed unbearable. But I realize I have to leave life and death and a whole lot of other things in God’s hands.” He told her how he’d overheard Leila and Ellie playing, and the words Leila spoke that made him realize he could do nothing but trust when life seemed unexplainable.

  She chuckled at the picture he created of the girls playing with the dollhouse. “I’m so glad they are getting pleasure out of it.”

  Emmet still knelt before her, and she wished he would sit down again. He was making her nervous.

  “Louisa, I love you. You are worth more to me than a dozen children. I want to share my life with you. I want you to be my wife and Ellie’s mother. Please say you’ll marry me.”

  She studied him, watched his eyes flash from blue to green. “Are you sure? There will never be children. The doctor was quite certain of that.”

  “Louisa, I would rather share my life with you than with anyone else. We have Ellie. We can love her.”

  She had to be sure. She had to know he was certain. “Ellie will be an only child.”

  “We’ll see she has lots of companions.”

  “No sons. No babies. And me, an unhealthy specimen.”

  He lifted his head and roared with laughter. “You are anything but a weak, shrinking violet. You are strong as steel.” He touched her chin. “Gentle as velvet. I know what I want, and it is you. Marry me?”

  She smiled from a heart overflowing with assurance of his love. Free to open her own store of love, she spoke words that she had for so long ached to say. “Emmet, you are all I need. You are my sunshine and my rain, my heart’s joy and contentment. You have filled my life to overflowing with love. If you are one hundred percent certain this is what you want, then yes, I will marry you, Emmet Hamilton. I love you and will do my best to make your days happy and—”

  “My heart glad.” He finished, pressing her palm to his chest. “Together we will face life walking at God’s side. Whatever comes our way, we will stand together.”

  “Strong in God’s strength.”

  His murmur of agreement burred against her lips as he pulled her into his arms. He kissed her soundly, as if to make sure she understood all he felt.

  By the time he finished and pulled away, she had no more doubts. They sat side by side, holding hands and kissing often as they discussed their future.

  “I want to go back to the ranch.” He sounded doubtful.

  “I can hardly wait. Do you mind if I make the house ours?”

  “It’s been a long time since anyone has done much in the house. I’m afraid you will find it sadly in need of a woman’s touch. I hope you will make it yours in every way.”

  “Ours.”

  “Ours,” he echoed, kissing her again for good measure.

  Uncle Peter returned a while later and stared at the pair of them.

  Louisa jumped to her feet and introduced them.

  Uncle Peter gave Emmet a hard look. “I’m not sure you’re welcome here. You’re the young man who broke my niece’s heart.”

  Emmet faced the older man with dignity. “I don’t blame you if you think I should be shot for that, but I plan to do my best to make up for it in the future. Louisa has agreed to marry me.”

  Uncle Peter’s brows knit together. “Louisa, is that true?”

  “Yes, Uncle Peter.” She knew her happiness sounded in her voice. “It’s an answer to a prayer.”

  “I have grown rather fond of my niece.” He indicated they should all sit, and for an hour grilled Emmet on his plans, as if he hoped to detect some note of falseness in his affection.

  Louisa’s insides glowed with happiness at the way Emmet continued to speak of his love for her and how they would find their joy in loving each other and Ellie.

  Finally, Uncle Peter relented and turned to Louisa. “I only regret that this means you won’t be spending the winter with me.”

  “Uncle Peter, you must promise to come and visit us often.”

  “And you must come here as much as you can.”

  She looked up into the face of the man she had come to love like a father. “Will you come to my wedding and give me away?”

  His eyes glistened. “I would consider it an honor.” He kissed her cheeks. “Now go entertain your young man.”

  Emmet and Louisa had agreed to get married and return to the ranch as soon as school ended in June.

  Emmet spent the night in one of Uncle Peter’s guest rooms, and he and Louisa returned to Golden Prairie the next day.

  “We need to speak to Ellie before we tell anyone else.” Louisa wanted the child’s approval.

  “She’ll be ecstatic. In fact, she figured I didn’t know how to ask you. Blamed me that you said no.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to his shoulder, keeping one hand firmly on the steering wheel. “I never told her that I turned you down too. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  She kissed his chin. “I forgive you. I believe God used our time of separation to help each of us grow in faith.”

  They arrived back in town just as school got out and waited for Ellie outside the school. She saw Louisa and squealed. “You’ve come back.” She shot a glance at her father and grinned. “Ohh.”

  Louisa chuckled. Ellie was much too smart for a seven-year-old. She and Emmet would have their hands full as this little one matured.

  They had agreed to wait until they were alone to talk to her. They returned to the house and slipped to the backyard. Auntie May, smart woman that she was, stayed out of the way.

  “Sit down, Ellie, we want to talk to you.”

  Ellie gave each of them a hard look and refused to sit. “Are you getting married?”

  Louisa laughed at her demanding tone.

  Emmet answered her. “Yes, we are.”

  Ellie squealed and threw her arms about Louisa. “I knew you’d be my mommy the minute you said you loved me.” She squinted at her father. “I didn’t know if you’d ever get it right.”

  Louisa grinned at Emmet, who shook his head sadly. “What did I tell you?”

  Ellie backed away. “Can I have a sister?”

  Louisa staggered back. She hadn’t known Ellie would have the same dreams as her father.

  Emmet caught Louisa’s hand and pulled her to his side. “Ellie, Button, we can’t promise a sister. Our future is in God’s hands, but there might never be a baby.”

  Ellie made a noise of disgust. “I don’t want a baby. I want Leila for a sister.”

  Louisa glanced at Emmet. At the look on his face, she knew he’d already thought of this.

  “I’ll see what we can do.”

  Ellie raced away to play.

  Emmet took Louisa’s hands. “What do you think of adopting Leila?”

  She grinned. “I think it’s a most excellent idea.” Two little girls was more than she’d dreamed possible.

  He caught her chin then and turned her face toward him. “You are one special lady. Have I told you that?”

  She giggled. “Not recently. Besides, I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of hearing it.”

  “You are special and I love you.”

  “I love you too,�
�� she managed before he kissed her.

  Epilogue

  Emmet checked the back of the truck, making sure all the gifts and extra furniture that Mother Morgan had donated, plus clothes for his growing family, were all secure. He tightened the ropes holding the canvas tarp in place. “It looks like it will hold until we get home.”

  He faced the crowd. Auntie May. Louisa’s mother and sisters. Judd, of course, who had given him all sorts of advice for a married man. As if Emmet hadn’t been married before. But this time was different. He was different. He had begun a walk of trust. And Uncle Peter, standing close to Mother. Louisa had commented how protective he was of her, and hoped they would now become friends.

  “Are we ready to go?” Ellie demanded.

  “We’re ready.”

  Louisa circled her family, giving each a hug and receiving a whispered goodbye and, he suspected, a parting word of advice. Who’d have guessed everyone had so much to say about marriage and ranching? He couldn’t remember such generous tidbits when he married Jane. Of course, he’d married away from home.

  He followed at Louisa’s side, getting hugs and goodbyes. He paused before Auntie May. “I can never thank you enough for raising me.”

  She chuckled and patted his face. “I wish I could take credit for the man you’ve become, but we all know I can’t. Now you behave. You write often. Send pictures and don’t forget to visit.”

  “We plan to come back for Christmas, and all of you are welcome to visit us anytime.”

  They had been married only a week. He hated to take Louisa from her family, but it was time to start their life together—with his two daughters. Leila’s adoption had been easy and rapid. The judge signed the final papers two days ago.

  “Let’s go home.” He helped Louisa into the truck and lifted two chattering little girls in beside her.

  Judd joined him at the window. “The way you’re loaded down, it reminds me of the people moving out of the country, sick and tired of drought and poor prices.”

  Louisa leaned over to speak to Judd. “The difference is we’re not running from the drought. We’re headed to the future, with two precious little girls and a man who loves me. It’s more than I asked or dreamed for.”