The Darkest Lullaby

by Jonathan Janz

  “I don’t know,” Ellie said. “Both, I guess.”

  Without looking up, Kat nodded. “She opened her leg with a fingernail.”

  Unable to say anything to that, Ellie pretended to be absorbed in the notebook. But try as she might, she couldn’t get the image of her sister kneeling before the woman from the forest, the younger Lillith. The vision made her both queasy and sad, the big sister she’d always idolized debased by a creature that defied human logic.

  She imagined Kat sucking at the creature’s femoral artery, and a question arose. “Did drinking her blood…change you?”

  Kat gave her a wan smile. “You mean other than the insomnia?”

  “A thirst for blood.”

  “Christ, Ellie.”

  “Well?”

  “Did she cast a reflection, did I transform into some blood-sucking ghoul?” Kat closed the album with a thump. “For chrissakes, El, why don’t you drive a stake through my heart to make sure I’m human?”

  Ellie sighed, stared dejectedly at a box of books she’d opened but hadn’t yet been through. Her sister ambled out of the faint circle of light cast by the lantern, but Ellie hardly noticed. One of the titles had caught her eye, both the words and the cheap appearance of the book setting it apart from the rest. She slid it out and read LIBIDINEM.

  Beneath that: THE LUST.

  “I think we’ve got something,” she said.

  Kat’s voice from the darkness, not a question: “What.”

  Ellie didn’t bother answering, opened the book to the table of contents and made a silent wish that the thing would be in English rather than Latin or whatever the hell language the title was in.

  Ellie scanned the chapter names, evidently made with a typewriter and then photocopied:

  Preparation and Purification

  First Death and Thirst

  Second Death and Sacrifice

  Third Death and Duality (Remnant and Ether)

  Unification and the Demonic

  Ellie read and reread the chapter names, but her eyes were repeatedly drawn to the word “Remnant.”

  She opened to that chapter and began reading.

  Another minute went by before Kat said, “What’s wrong?”

  Ellie looked at her. In a voice that shook, she said, “You have to leave this place.”

  On the way through the yard, Katherine stopped and stared at her sister. “This is crazy.”

  Ellie’s jaw went firm, the way it always used to when she was digging in for an argument. “It’s the only way.”

  Dammit, Ellie, Katherine thought. Is this our salvation or my penance? Katherine gestured toward the trees lining the forest, the inky canvas of sky above them. “Why does it have to be now, in the dark? Why can’t I just wait till morning?”

  “Chris will stop us in the morning. It has to be now.”

  Katherine glanced at the carving knife. It felt ridiculous in her hand. “What if he catches me?”

  One corner of Ellie’s mouth curved. “You said yourself, he’s not dangerous.”

  “But you don’t believe that.”

  The humor drained from Ellie’s eyes. “Explain the keys.”

  Katherine didn’t have an answer for that. The keys to her Jeep had inexplicably vanished, and she didn’t carry a spare. She turned toward the lane and shivered. “What’re you gonna do?”

  “Read more of Destragis’s book, I guess.”

  “You really think that’ll help?”

  “I don’t know if anything will help.”

  Katherine drew in a deep breath, took a step toward the lane.

  Turned back to Ellie. “You sure you can’t come?”

  Ellie’s Adam’s apple bobbed and her eyes lowered. “I can’t.”

  Katherine opened her mouth, but Ellie said, “Something will happen to my baby.”

  She felt a thickness in her throat at the desperation in Ellie’s voice.

  “The forest won’t let us leave,” Ellie went on. She ran a trembling hand over her tummy. “I’ve almost lost her so many times already.”

  Katherine smiled despite herself. “Is that what you think you’re having? A little girl?”

  The hope in Ellie’s smile did it, got her moving. Walking backward toward the lane, Katherine said, “If Chris comes back, tell him I’m ashamed of myself for what I did. Tell him I went to the woods to cry about it.”

  The last thing Katherine saw before turning and stepping onto the lane was a flicker of pain on her sister’s face.

  I’m sorry, she thought as the woods closed in around her. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Ellie.

  Chapter Four

  Katherine climbed over seven fallen trees before she stopped counting. Most of them appeared perfectly healthy—towering, robust trees that had no business lying across the lane like slain giants. And though they were a hindrance, she hadn’t yet experienced any of the physical pain to which her sister had alluded.

  Maybe it only works on pregnant women, she thought.

  More than once Katherine had considered veering off the trail and trying her luck in the forest, but one thing stopped her from attempting it.

  The woods had closed in.

  At first she’d attributed the notion to the blackness of the night, then to faulty memory. The idea that these trees, all this green life could move, could shift bodily like tectonic plates was absurd. She told herself she’d been too absorbed with seeing her sister again—seeing Chris again—during her arrival here to truly mark the distance between lane and forest.

  But there sure as hell hadn’t been branches reaching across the wheel ruts.

  In fact, the groping boughs so crowded the lane that Katherine had to keep to the grassy median to avoid being scratched. A few times her shoulders and thighs had brushed against the silent leaves, and as this contact occurred she could not escape the sensation of microscopic movement within the pale green veins. Whenever she climbed over a fallen tree, she did so in a breathless scramble because the bark under her palms felt as though it were squirming, rubbing itself against her skin with feverish longing.

  Keep moving, she told herself. Don’t give the woods any more time to work against you. Pretty soon the whole lane might be swallowed up.

  She attempted a smile, but it faded quickly. The idea didn’t seem at all farfetched. Just what would she do if the lane suddenly disappeared? If she found herself surrounded by unbroken wilderness?

  No way in hell, she thought, her steps quickening. No way I’m gonna let that happen.

  She carried the flashlight like a baton, and though her fingers itched to click it on, the idea of Chris spotting it and running her down prevented her from using it.

  You’re speedwalking down the middle of the freaking lane, a voice reminded her. You obviously aren’t too worried about being inconspicuous.

  Still, she felt safer in the dark.

  The swath of lane curved, and ahead Katherine spotted a gap. She’d reached the bridge.

  Beyond it, where her Jeep and the Camry had been, there was only that same narrow swath of lane. Had Chris moved the vehicles? Had the forest? She stifled an insane urge to laugh.

  She forced herself to maintain a steady pace. If she broke into a run, she might be heard. Though she knew this also made little sense, she believed it just the same.

  Katherine focused all her will on the black place where the bridge had once been. If she stayed focused, remained intent on her goal, she’d be there soon.

  Yes. She grinned as the distance shrank. It was heartening to feel some of her old composure return. Stay strong, she thought, and you can make this work.

  Unlike your marriage.

  Katherine walked faster, kept her body aimed at the washed-out bridge.

  You also failed as an older sister, don’t forget that either.

  Katherine’s breathing became ragged.

  You wanted him, Katherine, you wanted him so much that you mounted him in your sister’s bed.

  Shut up!
she thought angrily. Just shut the hell—

  You still want him, don’t you? You want him to carry you off to that place in the woods, the high place, the altar.

  I don’t know of any altar!

  But you do, Katherine. You do. And you’ll go there soon enough, willingly. You’ll spread yourself for him and feel his hot strength pushing inside you.

  “No!” she shouted, then flung out her hands for balance. She’d reached the verge of the drop-off, had nearly tumbled over it and landed in the shallow creek. She whipped her head from side to side, eyes darting about for

  Him

  some movement, some sign of

  Chris

  who was following her, who was about to clutch her shoulders with bony fingers.

  “Oh, this is crazy,” she muttered and started down the steep decline. The water had been up to her thighs upon arriving, and according to Chris, that had been just after the storms. The creek shouldn’t be above her knees now, and she’d cross it without problem. Katherine staggered, flailed her arms until she regained balance, then took the last few steps to the muddy bank.

  She stared at the black water. The oppressive odor wafting up from it made her think of dead things. Here and there tiny glimmers played over its gently flowing surface, but despite its probable shallowness, she couldn’t see the bottom. She stretched out a foot to test the water, but drew it back, not wanting to get her tennis shoes wet. But she didn’t want to take the time to shed them and her socks either, so that meant she’d have to slop through the creek and spend the rest of the evening with wet feet. She sighed. There were worse things in life.

  Katherine’s breath caught as she remembered her cell phone. The idea had been to make it to the road and then walk toward town until she got a signal, but what if she could get one now? There were clouds, but no storm was imminent. Perhaps, she thought as she extricated the phone from her jeans pocket, she wouldn’t even have to get wet.

  Kat flipped open the cell phone and felt her heart sink.

  No signal.

  In fact, there was hardly any battery left, which couldn’t be right. She’d charged the damn thing this afternoon. How could it already be…

  The forest won’t let us leave, she remembered Ellie whispering.

  Ridiculous.

  As ridiculous as you performing cunnilingus on a ghost?

  Touché, she thought. She cleared her throat, crammed the phone into her pocket. Then, without allowing herself time to reconsider, she stepped into the creek. The mud squished beneath her sneaker, conjured images of cattle pens and rank manure. Katherine blocked it out, took another step. Keeping her shoes on had definitely been a smart move. Even though the icy feeling of the creek soaking her socks was a bit startling, it was a small price to pay for preventing that runny, sucking mud from squirting around her bare toes.

  Katherine took another step and felt the ground drop away.

  Her strangled cry was cut short by the engulfing water, the freezing water that dragged her lower and lower in its virulent undertow, pressing against her lips, stealing her breath. She thrashed her arms, her mind a frenzy of confusion and terror, but a bump against her toes superceded all. Katherine flailed her hands at whatever had touched her foot, but instead of raking her fingers over a leering goblin face, her nails scraped painfully on stone. It was a ledge, she realized with frantic hope. She hoisted herself onto it, felt the top of her head breach the surface, and then she was thrusting her face up, spluttering and gasping. She lurched forward into the shallow water, only a couple feet deep here, and continued coughing out the nasty creek water until her breathing regained something approaching normalcy.

  Her chest heaved, but the panic was dissipating. In moments she’d made it. She leaned against the nearly vertical bank, stared down at the sable water, and wondered if Chris had known the deep place was there. Maybe he’d purposely not mentioned it, had counted on it as a snare for her or Ellie should they attempt escape.

  Yes, she realized, with new uneasiness. It was escape. Before, moving furtively down the diminished lane, she’d felt like an ornery teenager tiptoeing past her parents’ room to sneak out for some boy and a session of harmless kissing. She’d been scared, yes, but not for her mortality—simply of being found out.

  Now though…now, as she took in the trees milling impatiently on the opposite bank, the coarse leaves scraping like the flesh of carnivorous reptiles, she felt as if her momentary plunge into the freezing abyss had been her one warning. We’re not fucking around, the trees seemed to rasp. You try to leave again, you won’t like what we’ll do to your sister or her baby.

  Despite the steepness of the bank, she clambered to the top and resumed her trek down the lane. She noted without surprise how suffocatingly near the branches were the farther she went, as though the very forest had drawn in on itself while she was in the water.

  It won’t stop me, she thought. In a minute or two I’ll be out on the road, and soon after that I’ll finally get reception on my—

  She froze.

  Her cell phone had gone under water.

  A caul of doom swooping over her, she patted her pockets until she found the one with the cell. She shoved a hand inside, wiggling a little to fight the damp denim.

  With a grunt she tore it free and flipped it open.

  Its face was black.

  No!

  With a palsied hand, she thumbed the Send button, squeezed the phone until it was near breaking.

  “No, no, no, no, no…”

  She uttered a small cry of relief when the picture of Jacob, her youngest, appeared, his innocent smile a much-needed elixir for the darkness around her. Just to be sure, she pushed a couple buttons, and when they worked the way they were supposed to, she blew out pent-up air.

  Still working, then. But for how long?

  The battery, she saw, was nearly dead, would go dead any minute. She bit her lip, debating. Shutting it off might save the battery, but it might prevent her from turning the damn thing on again. One thing was certain, though. She couldn’t put it back in her pocket; her jeans were so wet it’d be like submerging it a second time.

  She clutched the phone and gazed up at a gnarled old sycamore. The tenebrous knots peppering its white face gave it a wicked, leering appearance. Are you going to do to me what you did to my sister? she wondered. Tear my insides apart?

  A rush of hatred swept through her. Damn you, she thought as she glowered at the tree. Damn you for hurting my Ellie. And damn you for trying to hurt her baby. It’s the only thing she has, and I won’t let you take it from her.

  A breeze worried the sycamore, and in the stygian gloom the tree appeared to nod.

  It got her moving again. She remembered the creek being very close to the road, and within a minute she was stunned to spot the end of the lane, the gravel road beyond.

  Of course, the thin swath leading there was scarcely wide enough for her to navigate without turning sideways. But that didn’t matter. Had she waited another day—hell, another hour even—she might not have made it. Thus far none of the branches had lashed her skin, but she no longer considered the possibility so farfetched. There was unquestionably a presence here in the forest, a malevolent will. She wasn’t meant to leave.

  Katherine started to jog.

  The end of the lane was only fifty or sixty yards away, and though she remembered there being woods on both sides of County Road 1200, she was sure passage there wouldn’t be as claustrophobic as it was here.

  Getting closer.

  Her pumping elbows brushed leaves, a wiry branch or two, but nothing more impeded her.

  Almost there.

  A black certainty exploded within her, that Chris had bided his time here at the edge of the lane, that he would step into her path at the last moment and drag her screaming into the woods.

  Katherine burst onto the gravel road, veered right and did not stop, so sure was she that Chris would appear.

  But he didn’t. Other than the d
usty stones under her sneakers and the rusted barbwire fence flanking the road, there was no indication that anyone else resided out here, as though this place were still part of a primordial world from millennia past. She shot a glance upward and saw an only slightly wider strip of sky attending her steps. Still, it was better than the suffocating canopy covering the lane.

  A stitch started in her side. She experienced a moment’s misgiving. Was it the forest?

  Take it easy, she told herself. It’s the sprinting that’s making your insides ache, not some supernatural curse. Just take it easy and walk awhile. You’re safe now.

  God, how she wanted to believe that. But how could she with the haunted forest still lurking to her right? She wasn’t remotely safe yet, and she knew it.

  Abruptly, she remembered the phone in her hand.

  She flipped it open. Her hands shook in desperation when the screen remained black. Had she turned it off?

  No. She hadn’t.

  Dead, it’s dead.

  No. She thumbed the Send button but nothing happened.

  Impossible!

  Not impossible—completely logical. You got it wet and it’s dead.

  “Please,” she muttered, mashing her thumb on the button.

  Or something else sucked the battery dead, sucked it like blood from an artery.

  She uttered a harsh sob.

  Dead, Katherine. Just like you’re gonna be.

  “No,” she growled and, whirling, held up the dead phone to the trees. “This won’t stop me, you hear? This won’t stop me!”

  And though the forest remained silent, Katherine’s skin rippled with gooseflesh. It was a mistake to provoke the presence. She suddenly felt very naked, very small.

  Hugging herself, she cast a glance down the gravel road. Town was how many miles away? Twelve? Fifteen? She’d have to walk for hours to reach it.

  Then she saw it. About a mile down, maybe farther, on the left-hand side.

  A security light.

  A kindly farmer maybe, or a reclusive old woman. It didn’t matter. There’d be a phone there, and a phone would mean salvation.

  Ellie’s salvation.