The Only One

by Melissa Ellen

  I sat on the pier, watching a father with his daughter. He was so caring and gentle with her, reminding me of my dad. I missed my dad more than anything in the world, and I wished he was here to give me some words of wisdom. I could really use them right now. I sat there for an hour, lost in my thoughts before finding my way back to my apartment.

  It was already nine, and I realized I had no idea where I was supposed to meet Rhett in a few hours. I sat down at the table, pulling up my work email on my laptop, hoping he had sent me the address. I had no emails from him. I wondered if maybe him seeing me leave with another man last night had convinced him to back off. I felt a momentary wave of remorse but quickly pushed it down and went to take a shower.

  After my run and a shower, I was feeling better. I needed to put my feelings for Rhett out of my mind. I went out onto the balcony of my apartment, drying my hair with a towel while staring at the ocean view.

  I had rented this apartment for its view and proximity to the beach. I fell in love with it instantly and spent many nights on the balcony, letting the sound of the ocean waves soothe me. After a few moments of reflection, I walked back inside to get dressed.

  I put on a pair of faded, worn jeans, rolling them at the bottom with a loose, white shirt. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and then put on my brown sandals. I kept my makeup minimal. I grabbed my purse headed for the door, deciding to go into the office to catch up on some work.

  I exited my apartment, locking it behind me. I turned to walk down the hallway of my complex, coming to a halt, seeing Rhett walking up. He slowed his progress, stopping a few feet away from me, putting his hands in his pockets as he gauged my reaction.

  He looked casual with his denim jeans and black t-shirt. Both hugging his body in all the right places. His face was worn and tired, but otherwise impassive. I figured he must have had a hard time sleeping after I left him at the bar last night. Neither one of us spoke. We both just took in the other.

  “I thought maybe you changed your mind, since you never emailed me,” I finally broke our strained silence.

  He shook his head no. “I told you I’d pick you up at eleven.”

  “I’ll drive separate.”

  “No,” he said firmly. “I’m not going to argue this with you, Ava. You’ll get in my car, or I’ll carry you to it and put you in myself,” he commanded. We both knew he would follow through with his threat, so I relented.

  “Fine. Let’s go. I’ll need to stop by the office to grab a few things, first,” I stomped past him. He turned to follow me, keeping his distance.

  The drive to my office was quiet and tense. As we headed to Malibu, I wanted to scream just to break the silence and release all the pent up emotions in me. I glanced over at him. I could tell he was seething with anger as he tightly gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. I turned back to look at the road as we drove along the winding Pacific Coast Highway.

  “Are you going to give me the silent treatment all afternoon?” I grumbled, frustrated. I wasn’t sure I even really wanted to talk, but anything was better than the intense silence we were suffering through. He turned his gaze on me momentarily and then back to the road.

  “It’s not very professional of you to ignore your client’s calls,” he scorned, looking at me angrily.

  “I didn’t realize you called. Your number must still be blocked in my phone.”

  “Don’t you think you should remedy that if we’re going to be working together?” He was pissed. He had a point. I looked over at him apologetically.

  “I’ll take care of it. Was there something you needed, when you called?” He didn’t respond for a minute. I could see he was struggling to maintain control of his emotions.

  “Did you sleep with him?” His words came out in a tight gruff voice. Maybe I should have suffered through the silence.

  “That is none of your business. I don’t inquire about all your conquests.” My lips tightened, trying to keep my temper in check. “Besides it’s not an appropriate conversation for me to have with a client.”

  “Damn it, Ava!” His voice boomed through the car. “You have every right to ask me. And just so there is no misunderstandings, I haven’t touched another woman since you.” He was breathing heavily. He was crazy mad.

  I knew he was likely telling me the truth. In moments of weakness through the years, I tortured myself by googling him. I hadn’t seen him in any photos with the normal blondes that always graced his arm before. I hadn’t even seen him with Serena. He was lately photographed at social events alone or escorting Valerie.

  “There is only you, Ava. There will only ever be you,” his voice softened. I could hear the pain and anguish. The same pain and anguish I was feeling. I couldn’t look at him. I focused my eyes downward, seeing for the first time the keys dangling in the ignition. The keys I gave him years ago hung on the key ring. I looked out the passenger window to hide the tears surfacing in my eyes.

  “No…. I didn’t sleep with him.”

  My words came out in a whisper but they were loud enough for him to hear. I heard him let out a sigh of relief, relaxing his body. The thought of me sleeping with someone else was driving him to a nervous breakdown. I didn’t know how to feel about that. I felt relief and fear at the same time.

  We pulled up to a vacant piece of property a few minutes later off the Pacific Coast Highway. It was three acres of untouched land with a gorgeous view of the Pacific Ocean. The property came with deeded rights to a private secluded beach cove below.

  I got out of the car, breathing in the salty sea air. I closed my eyes, soaking in the sun rays and then opened them, walking deeper into the property to take in the view. It was breathtaking. I knew it had to cost millions just for the land. Rhett came up behind me as I stared out at the ocean, placing his hand gently at the small of my back. I felt my body instinctively relaxing into his touch, until his voice broke me out of my reverie.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, whispering across my ear.

  I moved away, breaking our connection. I gave him a frail smile, not wanting to start another argument but needing to get control of the situation.

  “It is a gorgeous view. Give me a few minutes to take some pictures of the property, and then we can go over your thoughts for the home,” I tried reminding him this was a business meeting.

  I walked back to the car, picking up my camera. I worked my way around the site, taking pictures from different angles. All the while, Rhett had his eyes on me, watching me work. When I was about done with the photos, he moved to the trunk of his car, pulling out a picnic basket. I gave him a curious look.

  “You have to eat, Ava. We might as well do it on the beach while we go over our thoughts for the home.”

  I wanted to argue that a picnic on the beach was not appropriate, but I was hungry. It also worried me how he said his words almost implying this was our home. We hiked our way down to the beach cove. Rhett set up a blanket and pulled out the picnic lunch that he packed with some bottles of water.

  As we started to discuss his visions for the home, my worry became warranted. He kept insisting I tell him what I would want for the home, if it were mine. I kept reminding him it didn’t really matter what I wanted. This was his home and his money.

  A few times, I gave in as he is a hard man to deny. The few times I shared my thoughts, he immediately agreed and suggested we move forward with those ideas. I would give him my look of frustration. He would just give me his sexy smirk in return.

  When we finished going over his specs for the house, we started talking like old friends as we ate our lunch. He asked me about my job, keeping the conversation light and I asked him how it was to be the head honcho at Blackwood Industries. I actually found myself enjoying the conversation and even laughing as we exchanged stories. I was relaxing more than I thought possible as we sat next to each other, watching the ocean tide come in.

  The breeze blowing across the sea cooled the air around us as the sun sta
rted to set. I pulled my knees to my body, hugging them with my arms, feeling a sudden chill. I hadn’t realized how long we had been hanging out. Rhett instinctively moved closer, tucking me into his side as his arms enclosed me to protect me from the cool air.

  His touch sent heat coursing through my body, contrasting with the shiver that was running through it. I looked up at his strong chiseled jawline, losing myself in the moment as I locked my eyes with his. His eyes hooded over as he leaned in, brushing his lips with mine. The instant they touched I panicked. I moved away quickly, scampering to my feet. I looked down at him in shock as he looked up at me confused.

  “Ava,” he spoke my name cautiously as if he was trying not to scare a timid animal.

  “We should go,” I looked away from him. “I need to get home. I have work to do.”

  “Ava,” my name a plea on his lips. “Why are you fighting this? I know you feel it. I know you want this just as much as I do. I know you still love me.”

  His words hurt. I felt the tears prick at the back of my eyes. I wasn’t going to be able to hold them in. I spun around, running away.

  “Damn it! Ava. Wait!” I heard him yell from behind me. He caught up to me with just a few long strides. He grabbed my arm, turning me into him as he smashed me into his strong chest. He hugged me to him, comforting me as I cried uncontrollably into his shirt. “I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry.” He kept repeating, whispering softly as he held me.

  I cried in his arms what felt like forever before he finally picked me up, carrying me to the car. I let him. I was too emotionally confused and exhausted to fight or argue with him. He put me in the car, leaving me momentarily, retrieving the blanket and basket that was left on the beach. I stared out the passenger window lost in my thoughts.

  When he returned to the car, I felt his eyes look over at me, but he didn’t say anything. He turned over the ignition, pulling the car onto the highway, driving us back towards Santa Monica. I closed my eyes, letting the exhaustion from crying overwhelm me as I fell asleep.

  I woke to his voice and hand floating across my forehead, skimming down my cheek. “Wake up, beautiful. We’re here.”

  My eyes fluttered open as I sat up sleepily, looking around. We were outside my apartment building. I looked over at Rhett as he stared at me fondly, taking in every inch of me. It made me wonder if we had been sitting here awhile before he woke me.

  “I’ll walk you to your door,” he said opening his car door to get out.

  He walked around the car to open my door, helping me out. We walked silently through my apartment complex. He stood there, waiting as I unlocked the door to my apartment. I cracked the door, halting from opening it any further. I didn’t know what he was expecting, but I wasn’t ready to let him in, not into my apartment and not back into my heart.

  I turned, trying to figure out how to explain. Before I could say anything, he spoke, “Will you join us for dinner tonight?” I assumed his “us” included Valerie and Riley. I would have loved to see Valerie again before she left, but I just couldn’t handle anymore turmoil for the day. I could only take so much.

  “Rhett,” I paused, trying to figure out what I wanted. “I think it’s best, if I don’t.”

  I didn’t know if that was what I really wanted, but I needed some space. I couldn’t think as long as he was near me. His words on the beach were still wreaking havoc on my perseverance.

  I could see him struggling to accept my answer as his brow furrowed. His eyes became more intense as if trying to read me. “I don’t like leaving you like this.”

  “I’ll be fine. It’s what I need right now,” I begged for him to understand. After a few more seconds, he nodded his head, relinquishing the control I know he needed.

  “We leave in the morning to fly back to New York.” He paused. “Fix your phone,” he commanded.

  “I will,” I promised. He stepped closer to me, brushing the pad of his thumb across my lips.

  “Get some rest, beautiful.” He leaned forward. I held my breath and closed my eyes as he kissed me on the forehead, and then he was gone.

  I walked into my apartment, closing the door, sliding my back down it until I hit the ground. I sat there, staring in front of me wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

  I finally pulled myself up off the floor, deciding to change into some more comfortable clothes. I opened a bottle of wine and poured myself a glass. I picked up my phone and scrolled through it, unblocking Rhett’s number and adding it back into my phonebook.

  I took my wine, phone and a blanket, going out to my balcony to sit. I called my mom, needing to hear her voice. It had been a few days, since I checked up on her. I tried to call her and Nana at least once a week, if not more.

  She answered in a jovial mood that was almost contagious, “Hi, honey!”

  “Hi, Mom,” I smiled through my tears that were running down my cheeks.

  I missed my family daily. It was hard being so far away from them, but it was a necessary evil. My mom, always in tune with me, asked, “Ava, honey. Is everything okay?”

  “Yes,” I lied. “I just miss you, and it’s really good to hear your voice.”

  “I miss you too, honey,” she said in her sweet motherly voice that made me want to cry more. “Maybe I can try to make a trip out there soon? Or you could always come home for a weekend? I know everyone would love to see you.”

  “That sounds good. I’ll try to figure something out,” I promised.

  We continued to talk about nothing in particular. Mostly just catching up with each other. After about thirty minutes of random conversation, we said our goodbyes.

  “I love you Mom. Tell Emily, Jackson and Nana I love and miss them.”

  “I will, dear. Take care of yourself. And, Ava….if there’s something you need to talk about, I’m always here for you.”

  “I know, Mom. Love you. Have a goodnight.”

  “Love you, too. Goodnight, honey,” she said before hanging up.

  Not wanting to be left alone in my thoughts, just yet, I tried calling Lizzie, but she didn’t answer. I stared at my phone after I hung up. I had the sudden urge to call Rhett. I fought the impulse and put my phone down, looking away from it.

  I drank my wine and pulled my blanket tighter while looking out at the stars in the night sky, listening to the ocean. I kept thinking about what Rhett had said on the beach. His words in my head like knives in my heart, tormenting me. They hurt deeply and I knew why. There was so much truth to them. Truth I didn’t want to admit to. I would always love Rhett, no matter how much he had hurt me.

  I was afraid and angry at the same time. Afraid that I would never love anyone as much as him. Angry that he had that power, and I could do nothing about it. I couldn’t choose not to love him as hard as I tried.

  Riley’s words from last night were weighing heavy on me, too. The way he accused Stephen of knowing something I didn’t. It had me almost calling Stephen to find out, but things had been strained with Stephen and me since he left California.

  It turned out Rhett was right about Stephen wanting more with me. We spent a few weeks together in California. I was continually suffering from the pain of losing Rhett and my father. Stephen tried comforting me. After holding me in his arms one night, he leaned in and kissed me.

  At first, I kissed him back just wanting to feel anything but grief. But I quickly pulled back. None of it feeling right. My grief was combined with guilt instead of pleasure. I was in no place to start another relationship so soon, and I was afraid of losing our friendship. I didn’t exactly have a great track record, and my heart couldn’t handle another loss.

  He poured his heart out to me, trying to convince me we were right for each other. I couldn’t reciprocate his feelings, though. He went back to Wellesley a few days later with a bruised ego, and no matter how hard we both tried at staying friends, things have never been the same.

  I poured myself another glass, letting the wine flow through my body
to warm and numb me. I remained outside on the balcony, finishing the bottle over the next couple hours. I had a pretty good buzz when my phone chimed with a new text. I picked it up, staring at the screen.

  R: Goodnight, beautiful. Be back as soon as I can. x

  I knew his words were a promise. I just wasn’t sure if they were a promise I wanted him to keep. I didn’t respond to his text. I put the phone down and closed my tired eyes. I let the sound of the ocean waves lull me to sleep as I dreamt of another life where I could be his girl.

  Sunday morning, I woke and headed into the office to work. I needed to focus on anything but my disastrous love life or lack thereof, so I threw myself into my work. I spent the whole day at the office and made a lot of progress on my projects. I was more productive than I had been in a while.

  At the end of the day, I stopped to pick up some sushi to take home and relax for the evening. I had just finished eating, while catching up on some shows, when my phone rang. I picked it up off my coffee table, expecting it to be Lizzie finally returning my call, but it wasn’t.

  Owen’s name and phone number lit up on the screen. I hesitated for a moment not sure if I wanted to answer it. Just before it rang off, I answered. “Hello.”

  “Ava, hey. It’s Owen. The guy who took you home the other night.” I laughed inwardly at him for feeling the need to clarify who he was.

  “Yes, I remember you, Owen,” I replied, the amusement coming through my voice.

  “Oh. Good,” he said, sounding relieved. “Well, I thought I’d call and see if you wanted to go to dinner this week. Or we can just do coffee, whatever you are more comfortable with,” he sounded nervous. It was kind of cute.

  “I would like that Owen. How about dinner? Wednesday night?” I suggested.

  “Perfect. I will pick you up?”