Knocked Up by Brother's Best Friend

by Amy Brent

  “Uh, well, we had burgers and fries for lunch,” I said, exhaling loudly at my still-full belly. “She said she was a pretty basic kind of girl. She won’t eat anything she can’t pronounce.”

  “Okay, so no French or anything fancy I’m guessing,” Amy said. “And I assume there’s no need to impress her with your money.”

  I smiled. “No, I don’t think she’s that kind of girl.”

  “Okay, well you had burgers and fries for lunch. How about seafood for dinner? A nice lobster? Shrimp? Salmon. The fresher the better.”

  “That might work,” I said. “I’ll bet she loves seafood. There’s a Captain Dee’s near my house…”

  “Uh, no.”

  “No?”

  “No, you don’t take a girl like Andrea Nichols to fucking Captain Dee’s on a first date,” she said as if she were scolding me for saying something totally ridiculous. I loved Captain Dee’s. I didn’t see the big deal.

  She said, “It really has been a while since you had to impress a girl with anything other than your money, huh.”

  “Yes, so shut up and help me.”

  “Fine, okay, how about Fisherman’s Wharf? It’s wonderful and you can sit by the ocean and watch the tide come in while you eat.”

  “Great,” I said, turning toward my computer to pull up Fisherman’s Wharf’s website to make an online reservation. “What then?”

  “What then?”

  “Yeah, after dinner. What do we do?”

  “Well, Sam, do you think she’ll want to go back to your place?”

  I felt my cheeks getting hot like a little boy caught beating his meat in the locker room (don’t ask why that analogy popped into my mind). “Well, Amy, I don’t know. I mean, do people do that on a first date?”

  “Do what?” she asked. I could tell by her voice that she was smiling, fucking with me.

  “Do that,” I said. “You know, have sex?”

  “Jesus, Sammy, have you been going to Club D so long you’ve forgotten how to treat a woman who’s not on your payroll?”

  I huffed in her ear. “Well, technically, she is on my payroll.”

  “You know what I mean, you big dope,” Amy said, clicking her tongue. “I don’t think Andrea Nichols is going to give up the goods like those freak shows you guys have working at Club D.”

  It wasn’t hard to detect the disdain in her voice when it came to the topic of Club D. Even though she and Isaac hooked up there when Amy snuck in a guest, she did not hold the place in too high esteem. Even Denny’s girl, Serena, who was working her way through college as a waitress at Club D, kept harping on Denny to sell his interest. We had already agreed to turn over ownership of Club D to a charitable trust. Obviously, it was not happening fast enough for Amy and Serena.

  And that led to another thought…

  Hmmm, wonder what Andrea would say if she knew we owned Club D and spent my weekends frolicking with the likes of Carina the Great… That was a secret she’d never have to learn if I had anything to do with it. Besides, if things worked out between us, I might never go back to Club D again. Other than to say goodbye to Carina one last time… Or two…

  “Okay, so dinner at Fisherman’s Wharf, then we just play it by ear,” I said.

  “There you go,” Amy said, her voice pleasant again. “And after dinner maybe you take a walk along the pier or go for a nice drive.”

  “Or go back to her place and fuck each other’s brains out!”

  “What the…” I held the phone away from my ear for a moment, scowling at it. I tapped the speaker button and growled into the phone. “Jesus Christ, Amy, is Isaac there with you? Am I on the fucking speaker phone?”

  “He made me do it!” Amy said, giggling again.

  “Hey there, big guy,” Isaac said, his amused voice coming through the little speaker. It made me want to crush the phone in my hands like it was his head. “Sorry, couldn’t help but overhear. Sounds like your lunch with Andrea went great! I was the one who suggested that Denny hook you up with her so you two could start your very own Land of the Giants. You’re very welcome!”

  “Fuck you very much,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Hey, if you need a condom there are some hefty bags under the sink in the kitchen,” Isaac said. “Use the ones with the draw string.”

  “You’re an asshole, Isaac,” I said, holding the phone close to my lips. “I’m gonna kick your ass the next time I see you.”

  “I’ll get help and kick your ass if you screw this up with Andrea,” he said. “This could be your one shot at a girl who can truly make you happy.”

  “Whatever,” I growled, knowing he was right.

  “Don’t whatever me, young man,” he said, cracking himself up.

  “Sammy, just ignore him,” Amy said.

  “I will,” I said angrily.

  “And Sam?”

  “Yes, Amy?”

  “Go on home and take a shower and put on clean underwear. You never know where this night might lead.”

  Chapter 11: Andrea

  Talk about being a nervous wreck. I was usually cool as a cucumber (there’s that word again), but by the time I trudged through my afternoon of meetings and phone calls, rushed to the spa to have my cooch waxed (I left a little line of red curls just in case Sammy didn’t like his women totally bare, I know, presumptuous), then rushed home to shower and change (what the hell should I wear???), it was nearly time for Sammy to pick me up for our date. In fact, when the doorbell rang, I was still trying to get my hair to behave. I gave up and pulled it into a tight ponytail at the crown of my head, checked my reflection in the mirror one more time, then rushed to the door.

  Whew, that was a lot of rushing…

  When I opened the door, my heart nearly skipped a beat. There was Sammy Branniff in all his glorious flesh, all six-foot-six of him, shoulders almost as wide as the doorway, holding a bouquet of roses and a big smile on his face.

  “Hi there,” he said, holding out the roses like he was passing the Olympic torch. “These are for you.”

  “I assumed they were,” I said with a grin, taking the flowers and leaning in to give him a friendly hug. I had to get on my tiptoes to peck him on the cheek. It felt so weird. He was even taller than Pete. “You really didn’t have to bring me roses.”

  “Well, my dating coach suggested that it would be a nice gesture,” he said, stepping inside so I could close the door behind him.

  I smiled and frowned at the same time. “Your dating coach?”

  “Coaches, actually,” he said, giving his eyes a little roll. “Isaac and Amy.”

  “Ah, the lovebirds,” I said, holding the roses to my nose so I could gaze at Sammy like a peeping Tom hiding in the bushes. He looked great, casually dressed in a blue button-down with the collar open and the sleeves rolled up. His shoulders were broad and round, his chest thick and full. The cotton of the sleeves stretched against his forearms and biceps. He was wearing loose-fitting jeans that hugged his muscular thighs. And there was no mistaking the outline of his… you know… bulging against the denim like another oversized muscle struggling to pop free.

  “You look great,” he said, following me into the kitchen so I could put the roses in a vase with water. I could practically feel his eyes burning into my ass as he followed close behind. I had put on a pair of black slacks and high heels, with a sleeveless turquoise top that showed off my own tanned guns. I was planning on putting a waisted black jacket on to match the slacks. For some reason, the way Sammy was looking at me made me think that I was not going to need the jacket. Or the top. Or the slacks. Or the bra. Or the thong…

  He put his hands behind his back—there was that bulge again—and rocked on the balls of his feet and gave me a look that started me melting in my panties.

  The little voice in my head started screaming at the top of its lungs. Oddly enough, the little voice always sounded like my mother.

  What are you thinking, Andrea?

  Stop looking at his penis, f
or goodness sake.

  You are not a slut.

  You are not like those skanky cheerleaders you used to hate.

  Stop looking at that.

  Andrea?

  Are you listening to me?

  Andrea?

  ANDREA???

  Mom’s voice suddenly turned deep.

  It was Sammy speaking now.

  “Andrea? You okay?”

  I realized that I had overfilled the vase at the sink and water was flowing over my hand. I shook away the little voice and turned off the faucet and reached for a towel.

  “Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Just had a mild brain fart.”

  “Happens to me all the time,” he said, stepping closer. He took the towel and dried my hands off for me.

  Little sparks shot up my arms when our fingers touched. My nipples snapped to attention. My mouth went dry as every ounce of liquid in my body rushed to my pussy.

  Sammy looked me in the eye.

  He smiled.

  I got onto my tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

  He kissed me back.

  Then, I told the little voice in my head to go screw herself.

  It was time to have a little fun.

  Chapter 12: Sammy

  If I told you that I thought I’d be having sex with Andrea five minutes after walking through her front door, I’d have been lying. There was no way I thought we would be fucking that quickly. NO WAY! I mean, I was glad that we were, but boy oh boy, what a surprise. What a great fucking surprise. Maybe it was the roses… hmmm…

  I figured I’d take her to Fisherman’s Wharf for dinner. Maybe take a moonlight stroll down by the pier. Drop her off back at her place, maybe get a peck on the cheek at her front door, and that would be it.

  A girl like Andrea, I figured I might get to first base on the first date, second base on the second, then if I was a very good boy and didn’t do anything stupid, I might get lucky the third or fourth time up to bat.

  Boy, was I way off base, literally.

  It happened so quickly I almost missed it. I gave Andrea the roses just like Amy told me to. I was polite and didn’t say or do anything dumb. I did watch her ass as I followed her into the kitchen, but come on… I watched her fill up a vase in the sink for the flowers. She overflowed the base. I helped her dry her hands.

  And then… BAM!!

  She kissed me. And I’m not talking about a first date hello kind of kiss. I’m talking about a full on, lip smashing, tongue thrashing, “Katie bar the door because we’re gonna have a throw down” kind of kiss.

  So, I did the polite thing. I kissed her back.

  Andrea hung her arms around my neck and swirled her tongue around my lips. I opened my eyes to see her baby blues staring into mine. She started to pull back, but my arms were around her now. She wasn’t going anywhere.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, cheeks turning red. “I don’t know what got into me.”

  I pushed Amy’s advice about going slow and being the perfect gentleman out of my mind and let Sammy the Sausage take control. He had served me well all these years. I saw no sense in ignoring him now. I had an opening, no pun intended, and I didn’t plan on letting it close.

  I rubbed my nose to hers and sighed. “I have something that I would like to get into you.” My cock was already hard as a rock, pushing against the jeans so hard it hurt. I slid my hands down to Andrea’s tight ass and ground her against me. I heard the breath rush past her lips.

  I waited for a second, praying that I had not done what I usually did, and that was shove my size 15 into my mouth. Maybe Amy was right. Maybe Andrea was the kind of girl that needed to be wined and dined. Goddamit, I had spent so much time with Carina that I didn’t know how to treat a real woman. I mean, Carina was a real woman, but… fuck, you know what I mean. I started to pull back, but Andrea kept her arms locked around my neck and pushed her cunt into my hard on and smiled.

  “Is that a cucumber in your pants or are you just happy to see me,” she asked, her eyes narrow and dreamy. She kissed me again and whispered in my ear. “If you don’t fuck me soon, Mr. Branniff, I’m going to file a complaint with HR.”

  “Well, we can’t have that now, can we?”

  We both laughed, then she released her hold on my neck and held out her hand. I put my hand in hers and let her lead me down the hall to the bedroom.

  Chapter 13: Andrea

  Fuck it.

  That’s what I told the little voice in my head.

  I have a gorgeous, hot man in my arms with a huge… you know… pushing against my belly. There was no way I was going to back out now and chalk it up to some awkward moment.

  Damn the torpedoes (is that a torpedo in your pants)!

  Full speed ahead!

  “Come with me,” I said as I took Sammy’s hand and led him to my bedroom. Thank God, I had a king-sized bed and an oversized shower, both large enough to accommodate the Amazon and her Giant, because I had a feeling things were about to get wild. In every sense of the word.

  So fuck it.

  And I’ll fuck him…

  Sammy sat on the edge of the bed and I moved to stand between his legs. I kissed him again as I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his round shoulders. He was a mass of muscles, from his arms to his shoulders to his back to his chest and abs. His chest was covered with dark fur. It made me want to pull it with my teeth.

  Sammy tugged my blouse over my head and tossed it aside. I was wearing a strapless, black lacy bra that made him smile. He cupped my tits and pressed his nose to my cleavage, then started planting little kisses along the tops of my breasts.

  I reached around to unhook the bra and it fell loose in his hands. He let the bra fall to the floor so he could replace it with his huge hands. My tits are not humongous, but my nipples are long, like the end of your finger long, like big pink thimbles. Sammy groaned with desire when he saw them, then started slathering them with his tongue. They responded by getting plumper and harder between his lips. He suckled by breast like a two-hundred-fifty-pound baby.

  Sammy’s hands moved to my pants. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband and slid them down my long legs, leaving me naked except for the black lacy thong that was now soaking up the hot juices that were gushing from my cunt. The smell of my pussy filled the hot air.

  “You have an amazing body,” Sammy said, his hands on my hips, looking me up and down. “I could just eat you up.”

  I pushed the throng down my hips and stepped out of it. He licked his lips when he saw my freshly-waxed cooch with the line of red curls. I put my hands on his ears and said, “Eat me up then.”

  “With pleasure,” he said, growling. He got off the bed and turned me around, then pushed me back so that my ass was on the edge of the bed. He got to his knees and looped my legs over his shoulders. “My, Red Riding Hood, what a beautiful pussy you have.”

  I giggled as I gushed. “And what big teeth you have.”

  He lowered his mouth to my pussy and blew out a hot breath. “The better to eat you with, my dear.”

  “OH….” When Sammy’s tongue touched my clit, it felt like my entire body had caught fire from the inside out. Sparks shot from my pussy, down my legs and back, up my stomach, across my tits, and into my brain. I literally gushed juices into his mouth. Sammy hummed like a happy camper and lapped it up.

  Chapter 14: Sammy

  Andrea’s pussy tasted like soap and strawberries with just a hint of salt. I did an internal high-five when I saw the line of red curls growing above her long clit. I usually preferred a bare pussy and hated a thick bush, but I was counting on seeing those red curls. They made me smile.

  I got to my knees and spread her pussy lips with my fingers and went to work, swirling my tongue around her clit, up and down her pussy lips, across her taint, to her asshole and back again. I circled the tip of my tongue around her hole to taste her gushing juices. It was pouring out of her like a stream flowing from a hot spring. I could smell her even before
I tasted her. Her scent made my cock strain against my jeans.

  “Fuck… Sammy… that’s…” Andrea cooed. I glanced up with my lips pressed to her clit. Her head was back, eyes closed, mouth open. She was massaging her tits and tugging her long nipples. Did I say long nipples? I meant really long nipples. Holy shit. I’ve seen some big nipples in my day, but Andrea’s were huge, the largest I had ever seen. I would get well-acquainted with those babies shortly. For now, my mouth was busy drinking from her juice box.

  Andrea moaned when I stiffened my tongue and started fucking her with it, bobbing my head in and out, in and out, my nose pressing against her clit. I used my fingers to pull back the skin so my lips could get to her clit nub. It glistened with juices, hot pink, like a little pearl waiting to be sucked and kissed. So I sucked and kissed the fuck out of it.

  “Oh… shit… I’m… cumming…” Andrea bucked her pussy to my lips as the orgasm tore through her. She moaned and panted like a dog as my tongue drove deep inside her, her clit rolling between my thumbs. Her body jerked against my face for a moment, then she fell still and gave out a long breath.

  She blew out a long breath and moaned. “Fuck me… that was… whew…yeah…”