Sinful Biker

by Terri Lane

  “Thank you, you’re a lifesaver.”

  I clicked to end the call with relief flooding through my system, before spotting the time on my phone screen. Shit, I was going to be late if I didn’t get a move on! I was supposed to start work in fifteen minutes, I wasn’t even going to have time for a shower. I would just have to chuck on the uniform I was wearing yesterday morning and get the hell on with it. It was all right, people didn’t pay any attention to the staff anyway... especially not the housekeeping. I could get away with it, just the once.

  I checked my appearance in the mirror before I burst from the room, shaking my head in disappointment as I left. I’d barely had time to run a brush through my hair, never mind put any makeup on! This was going to be a day of keeping my eyes fixed on the ground. If I didn’t make eye contact, no one would look at me.

  Come on, just get on with it, I scolded myself. The sooner this shift is over, the quicker I can get back home. The sooner I can get back to normal.

  I raced through the hallway to grab the cleaning cart from the cupboard, my face heating up with stress the whole time, but before I could get in any of the rooms, my radio buzzed which could only mean one thing. The boss needed me, and once she saw me looking so disheveled I would have a lot of questions coming my way.

  “Jenna, can you come down to the reception desk, please?”

  Oh God, Deana had said please, that meant she was with someone important, someone I really didn’t want to meet. “Yep, sure,” I replied with a shaky voice. “I’ll be right down.”

  I was torn between taking a second to sort myself out and rushing right down to find out what was going on. In the end I decided that being late was going to be the bigger crime in Deana’s eyes, so I gave up and thundered down the stairs. As I got near the bottom, I could see Deana smiling, and the back of a man’s head. My mind whirred, trying to recall any meetings that I should’ve known about, but my brain drew a frustrating blank. Too much was going on in my life at the moment, I couldn’t think of anything.

  “Erm, hi,” I said nervously, focusing only on my manager. “Is everything alright?”

  “Yes, of course, Jenna. I don’t know if you remember me saying that the new owner is here today?” I nodded, even though I had absolutely no recollection of that conversation. I wasn't even sure that I'd been informed that someone else was buying the place! “Well, he’s here now. Adam Martin. Do you mind showing him to his room? For now, he'll be in staff room eighteen. And then once you've settled in, I will show you around myself, Adam.”

  My heart stopped dead in my chest, I felt a dizziness overcoming me, the floor almost fell away completely. This couldn’t be real, could it? This had to be another Adam Martin, there was no way that I could see him ever again. Especially not looking like this, this was a nightmare ‘bumping into the ex’ scenario. And if it was him, then he was living here too. Now I needed to get out more than ever before! I could not stay in the hotel knowing that Adam was here, especially with him as my boss. Not that it was going to be him of course...

  “Oh right, sure,” my voice was raspy now, my emotions floating to the surface. I had to still be sleeping, this was some sort of nightmare. I couldn’t even begin to cope. “Okay, Adam, would you like to come with me? I’ll take you wherever you need to be.”

  My heart raced liked a jack hammer as I spun around and ran my eyes up his body. At first I was convinced that it couldn’t be him, this body was entirely different to the boy I once knew in high school, but as our eyes connected, and I saw that familiar sparkling green, shock jolted through my system. It was him, of course he didn’t look exactly the same. Years had passed, I had changed too, but still it was a little stunning. I actually couldn’t believe it.

  This was Adam Martin, the boy I thought my whole future was shaped around, standing in front of me, staring at me with as much shock in his eyes as I felt. The limbo that I’d been surviving in shattered around me, leaving me cold, alone, and very vulnerable. For the first time in a very long time, I had no idea what was going to happen next, and that scared the living hell out of me. I’d never been so terrified in my whole damn life.

  “Erm, yeah, sure,” Adam finally coughed, deciding to take the same route as me, even if I hadn’t exactly chosen it. It seemed that for now we were going to act like strangers, until one of us braved cracking the ice. “Please, show me around.”

  As I walked him towards his temporary living arrangement, everything inside of me was freaking out. Things had been boring in the last ten years, but steady. Steady was good. Now, for some inexplicable reason, Adam was back in my life shaking everything up. When he left I assumed that I would never have to see him again, and that was the only thing that helped me to get over the heartbreak.

  Mind you, it only took one little glance for me to realize that maybe I wasn’t quite as over Adam as I thought I was. If I couldn’t do it in a decade, without him here, how the hell was I going to manage it with him in my face every single day?

  Bleep, bleep.

  I glanced at my phone as discretely as I could manage, spotting Luke’s name.

  ‘Hi Jenna, I’ve just been to check your pipes and it’s a big job. It’ll take a few days for the parts to come in, is there anywhere you can stay?’

  Shit, now I was going to be stuck here, living in the same building as my ex-boyfriend, the one who got away. Could this day get any worse?

  *

  9th May 2006

  “You don’t have long now, you know?” Sara, my rebellious best friend drawled, popping her gum loudly in my direction. “Do you really want to leave school knowing that you only ever stared at Adam from afar?”

  I glanced back over at him, my hot heart racing like crazy in my chest. Adam Martin was my dream guy, the one I spent my every waking moment fantasizing about. Of course he would never notice me, we didn’t run in the same circles, he was cool and popular, he spent his days with the other rich kids, whereas I hung out with other jocks just like me, but that didn’t stop me from creating the most beautiful relationship between us in my mind.

  “I know, but what am I supposed to do?” I sighed sadly. “He’ll never go for someone like me, not really.”

  Tiana, the incredibly beautiful, well developed for her age, cheerleader slung her arm over his shoulder, as if to prove my point. He was the hot, muscular, popular boy who could have anyone he wanted, whereas I was the invisible girl who was only ever noticed for her running records. Adam went to parties, drank alcohol, and kissed girls. My high school experience was one of training and homework. I wanted to succeed with running, but I also needed to have another skill in case things didn’t pan out in the way that I wanted them to.

  I knew I was being smart about my future, but my hormones couldn’t help themselves from desperately screaming out for the boy who would never see me.

  Adam was the most typical tall, dark, and handsome boy ever, and on top of that he had actual dimples, and emerald green eyes that pierced right into your soul. My look was far more plain; long, mousy blonde hair, boring brown eyes, and a lean, slightly gangly body. There was nothing about us that matched. Still, I wanted him.

  “Don’t you get it?” Sara chuckled loudly. “This is the carpe diem time, you need to act on your feelings now before you never see him again. So what if he says no, what does it matter? You’ll never see him again anyway.”

  For a second, I allowed myself to dream about that moment. I pictured myself being bold, standing up, stalking across the lunch room to speak to him. I imagined shoving Tiana to one side and declaring my feelings... but even thinking about it was hard. It filled my body with a hot, intense shame that I wasn’t sure would go anywhere.

  “No way, I can’t,” I stammered, scraping my chair backwards. “There’s just no chance.”

  “You can’t spend your whole life being shy and afraid,” Sara wasn’t about to let this drop, however obvious I made it that I really didn’t want to talk. “You can’t go off to college bein
g so fearful of life. You need to break free now so you can totally reshape yourself there.”

  “Oh yeah? Is that what you’re doing?” I hoped that I could switch the subject up, taking the spotlight off of me. “Are you reshaping your future?”

  “You know me, I don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks anyway.” She stalked into the bathroom, and I followed closely behind, intrigued as to what she was going to say next. Me and Sara both loved sports, that was how our friendship had formed, but that was where the similarities ended. We were definitely a case of opposites attract, which worked well. She completed me in ways that I didn’t even know I needed completing.

  “Yeah, I guess you never have,” I smiled wryly. “So you don’t need to change.”

  “Oh no, I will,” she grabbed her eyeliner from her bag and thickened it up even more, giving her eyes that signature thick look. “I’m going to be even wilder than before.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me. “We never really get invited to the parties here, but when I’m in college I’m going to be the one holding them! I want to be the center of all the social activities.”

  I cocked my head to one side and stared at my reflection in the mirror. It was difficult to picture myself as anyone other than the person I was right now, but it felt impossible. I couldn’t really see anything past high school, I couldn’t imagine myself as anywhere other than here.

  “I can imagine that,” I smiled weakly, staring at Sara in the mirror instead. “You were absolutely meant to be the center of all social activities. I can just see you as the party queen.”

  She turned to face me with a real sadness in her eyes. “I wish you would consider coming to California with me, it won’t be the same without you.”

  “I know, but that’s great for you and tennis. If I get accepted to Hawaii I have to go there.” I didn’t want to admit it, but part of the reason I was choosing a running program so far away was to see if I could make it by myself. I’d always existed under Sara’s shadow, and while I liked that, it was too comfortable. I wanted to see if I could cope without her.

  I guess in that way I was trying to reinvent myself, so why not ask Adam out on a date? Why not take that brave step while I still had the chance? What was the worst that could happen? He could reject me, humiliate me, and the whole school could laugh at me...

  No, maybe not. I’d managed to talk myself into it and out of it within about three seconds.

  “Right, I suppose we better go. Science class starts in a minute.”

  As we entered the classroom and we took our usual seats, I felt all out of sorts. My talk with Sara had my emotions all over the place, and now for the very first time I was really considering the prospect of getting out of school. I’d spent so long working towards a future, and now that time was almost here, it felt a little weird. To be honest, it was always this magical thing, right out of reach, so I wasn’t sure how to deal with this change. It felt very sudden...

  “Right class,” Mr. Wheeler, the incredibly boring science teacher started, causing about ninety percent of the room to instantly switch off. “We are about to start our new project, and for this I want to shake things up a bit. You’re all getting close to leaving school now, and you need to get used to working with people you don’t know very well. What I’m asking of you won’t be hard, you have been in school with your class for the last few years, I just want you to work with someone you might not necessarily know...”

  I glanced over to Sara who had her eyes narrowed and her lip pushed out in disappointment. She didn’t like this plan, and neither did I. Still, it didn’t seem like there was anything I could do about it.

  “So, I’m tacking a list up to the wall, I want you all to find your names and see who you’re with. Then I want you to sit with that person while I tell you the details of the project.”

  Everyone bundled up to the front of class, fighting each other off to see who they’d been put with, and I was right in the middle of it with my heart thundering in my chest. There were a lot of people that I really didn’t want to be put with, people who’d been bitchy to me during my time in high school. Mostly the cheerleaders; Tiana, Janelle, all of that gang really. I had no idea how I would even begin to work with those girls...

  “Jenna Smee,” I heard a very familiar, chocolatey smooth voice calling out, making my heart flutter anxiously. “Who is Jenna Smee? That’s my partner.”

  I had no idea how to feel about that as I slowly raised my hand. This was either a dream scenario or a total nightmare. I was going to be working for the next few months on this science project with Adam Martin. His green eyes connected with mine and I felt the shuddering in my chest intensify. I could barely stand to look at him, he was that good looking. How the hell was I going to communicate with him? Discuss things with him? Anything... this was going to be the hardest thing that I’d ever had to do.

  “Cool, let’s go and sit down.”

  Well, at least one of us thought that it was cool, because I certainly didn’t feel that way. I was shaking, hot, and freaking out all over.

  *

  16th September 2016

  “Okay, so is there anything else you'd like me to do?” My eyes remained fixed on the ground as I spoke. If we weren’t going to acknowledge that we knew each other, that we had a whole history, then I couldn’t stand to look at him. It was too odd for words. Even if I could feel a weird burning coming off of him, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

  “Yeah I think so... so do any of the other staff stay in these rooms?"

  "From time to time, when needed," I glanced and pointed towards my own temporary door which was unfortunately right opposite his. "I'm in there for a moment, until the plumbing in my apartment stops leaking."

  I wasn’t looking at him, but I felt acutely aware of every inch of his body as he neared me slightly. I was always this way with Adam Martin, magnetized to him, knowledgeable of his every move, and it seemed like our time apart had done nothing to dull that. He seemed to spark a hypersensitive prickle all over my skin, no matter where we both were.

  “Okay, thank you. And I guess I'll see you around, Jenna."

  Finally, I forced my eyes upwards to meet his again, and as I did my heart jiggled, the way it did the first time he properly looked at me. Of course back then I had no idea how important we were going to be to each other, I was far more anxious than excited, but now... now I knew everything, yet nothing had really changed. I still felt nervous, I still felt a little wrong footed, like the ball was well and truly in his court.

  Hearing my name playing on his lips was very weird too, especially when the tension in the air was so thick and strained. I could’ve said something about our past then, both of us should’ve, but we didn’t. I nodded slowly, and Adam turned away from me before locking himself inside his room.

  I checked my phone one more time, to see if there were any more updates to what was going on in my apartment, but of course there wasn’t. Luke had told me that he needed to wait a few days for parts, no amount of begging was going to change that. I just needed to accept this as my situation and get on with it. This wasn’t high school anymore, me and Adam were both hurtling towards thirty, we were adults. We could handle this, we had to.

  Yet...

  Why couldn’t I stop wondering what he was doing back here? And in this hotel of all places? He knew that I had a part-time job here, even back in our school days, so it seemed really odd to me that not only would he come back randomly after all this time, when he swore that he’d never set foot in this place again, but that he’d buy this place specifically. He probably didn’t know that I hadn’t moved on, but it was still strange... wasn’t it?

  Oh God, I needed a time out.

  I raced into my own room and I moved quickly into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I needed to calm down my pounding pulse. I had to stop this massive emotional turmoil that was going on inside. Yes, this was crazy, of course it was going to be hard, but
we both had to work here so I needed to get over it.

  I could easily achieve that by avoiding him at all costs.

  That wouldn’t be too hard, I didn’t even know the name of the last hotel owner, our paths never crossed, he was just some mysterious guy that occasionally demanded that Deana change things. I would be at work for most of the time anyway, and I was only going to be in this bedroom for a few more days.

  I stepped back, determination surging through my veins. Maybe this wouldn’t change my life too much after all! Although, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make myself look a little better. I wasn’t doing it for Adam, he’d already seen me looking like shit so it wouldn’t matter, I just had the chance now to improve and make myself more of a professional.

  I rapidly sorted myself out, and moved towards the door. Before I made my way back out into the hallway I pressed my ear up against the door. I just didn’t want to bump into him already after promising myself that I would avoid him, but luckily all I could hear was a resounding silence. Either Adam was already gone, or he was waiting for me to leave.

  I clicked the door open and slammed it behind me, trying to make it obvious that I’d left, then I tore back towards the cleaning cart which I could use as my safety net for now, a distraction from this mess. I needed to forget all about the fact that my traumatic past had just crashed back into my life, and the only way I could do that was to throw myself into my

  *

  20th May 2006

  "You are not serious?" As Adam shot me that increasingly familiar look, my heart fluttered violently in my chest. It was weird, how close we'd become so quickly, but nice too. It was easy to see why everyone liked Adam, there was something so affable and sweet about him. From afar he was the cool, well off, unattainable guy, but up close he was incredibly accessible, which just made my adoration for him grow. "That is not how it works?"