by Terri Lane
Maybe it was me that she liked, the real me, not the me that the rest of the world got to see.
“You open me up and spill me everywhere…”
As I twisted, I spotted the shadow of a figure watching from behind the curtain. It was a female figure backstage, which could only be one person. Thea. Daphne was supposed to come along on the tour with us too, but she got sick or something at the last moment and she hadn’t caught up with us just yet.
Thea was the only one, and she was watching me.
I kept singing, I didn’t let that drop, but it was on autopilot. I wasn’t focused on the crowd anymore, although luckily I could still hear them having a good time. Instead I was watching Thea watching me. I couldn’t see her face but I could tell from her body language that she wasn’t sure what she was feeling inside.
Something had definitely changed between us.
I already knew that I was falling for Thea, I’d been aware of it for a while now, but it seemed that she was finally accepting that she had feelings for me too. I felt like she did, but that she wasn’t sure how to deal with them.
Thank God.
Relief flooded me. Maybe now, finally something could actually happen between us. We could explore what we might actually mean to one another. I had a feeling that we’d be great together, that we might actually bring out the best in one another, but without actually testing the waters we’d never know.
“…we both know that they cannot tear us apart.”
As the song came to end and I was forced to turn away from Thea to address the crowd, I already missed having her in my sight line. I enjoyed being able to see her, I loved knowing exactly where she was, it felt awesome to have her eyes upon me too…but the people had spent a lot of money to see a good show, and that was what I would damn well give them.
“How are you all feeling tonight?” I screamed with a smile. I felt so great myself, because tonight I felt like things would be different between me and Thea. I was excited to get this show done because I wanted to see what was going on with her. “What song would you like to hear next?”
I couldn’t hear any of the answers, not that it mattered. Whatever was next on the set list would’ve been yelled out by someone out there. Each of our songs had its own little fan base, we were safe in that department.
“Right, then let’s get rocking.”
I gave the performance my all. In fact, I gave the whole show my all. Whatever city we were currently in got the absolute best of Playing Hard. I sung until my throat was raw, I jumped until my legs ached, I chatted to the crowd like they were my best damn friend. My excellent performance helped the other boys too. Liam and Clint bounced off my excitement and they gave it their all too. The crowd freaking loved every damn second of it.
It. Was. Awesome.
I was on top of the world, and everyone knew it.
Thea wasn’t there anymore, she wasn’t backstage watching me but it no longer mattered. Her meaning was clear to me. She was in.
***
Thea
What am I doing?
I paced James’s dressing room waiting for him to join me. The gig was almost done, and I needed to speak to him as soon as he was finished singing, before I lost my nerve. Every second I spent on the stage I thought about James, I considered my idea to get rid of the sexual frustration, and I’d gotten to the point where I had actually convinced myself that it’d be a good thing to do.
Rationally, I knew that I was wrong, but I’d gotten too far past that now. As I watched him up there, looking like a freaking sex God, I knew that I was done. All I could do now was cave to sensations and to have him.
My heart raced in my chest, my mouth was cotton dry, I couldn’t stop myself from trembling. This was crazy, utterly insane, but for the first time ever I wanted to be undone, I wanted to throw caution to the wind.
By the time the door swung open, and James’s sticky, sexy as hell body appeared, I was a real shuddering mess. I opened my mouth, ready to say something, anything, but as it turned out I didn’t need to speak at all. James just had to look at me to know what I was feeling.
This time as he swooped me up for a kiss, James literally claimed my mouth. There was no other way to describe it. There was no tenderness this time, no romance. Only passion and pure desire, and I loved it. As his arms circled me and his hot tongue slid between my lips, I fell happily into his embrace. My brain switched off and I became nothing but hot bliss.
This…this was exactly what we both needed.
“You taste amazing,” he whispered against my mouth. “Oh God, kissing you is even better than I remember.”
As James moved his mouth down to my neck. I slid my hand down his body too, passion getting the better of me. I usually was a much better behaved girl, I never felt compelled to act so bravely, but the weeks leading up to this moment had me completely unhinged. I was raw, dangerous, too excited to wait.
I gasped loudly and lolled my head to one side as I brushed over his taut abs. He was so muscular, so damp from all the rocking out on stage, his skin burned hotly. He felt phenomenal, this was better than any damn fantasy could ever be. He was like an orgasm wrapped up in a male body.
“Oh, Thea.” As James groaned noisily I grew even braver. I dipped my hand lower until I brushed against the thick erection he had underneath his trousers with a happy gasp. “Just feel what you’re doing to me.”
He shuddered violently, my touch was driving him crazy and that turned me on more than anything else ever could. I wanted more, I wanted to really feel him, so I slid my hand into his underwear and wrapped my fingers around him. His cock was hot to the touch, and as I slid my hand up and down him it boiled. This powerful man who had everyone under his spell only moments before was now under my complete control and I loved it.
“You’re killing me, Thea,” he warned as his teeth nibbled on my earlobe. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to explore that wonderful body of yours.”
Lust vibrated through my entire body at that statement, so when James moved his hand off me, I allowed him to do it. Then as he grabbed onto my butt and he placed me on his dressing room table, I didn’t resist at all.
This had been a long time coming for me as well. Everything was happening so quickly, yet not fast enough. I needed everything.
James fell to his knees between my legs, leaving him gaping at the black lacy panties I had on under my dress. His fingers trailed up my thighs, leaving a fizzing sensation all over me. I wanted to squeeze my thighs together, to contain the wet heat that pulsated there, but I couldn’t because he was in the way. I was vulnerable for James, exposed to him, and I actually didn’t mind. I liked the way that he was looking at me.
“Oh my God,” I rasped, tossing my head backwards with desire. “Oh, James.”
I rolled my hips towards him, showing James my desperation, and thankfully he responded just as I needed him to. We’d spent too much time dancing around one another, there was no more room for teasing and games. James grabbed onto my panties and he tore them away in a heartbeat before burying his face into my flesh.
“Oh fuck!” I screamed as his tongue flickered all over my slit. “Oh, James!” His mouth was everywhere, he was inside of me, all over my clit, around me…my head was everywhere with it. “Oh my God, it’s too…too much.”
My head flew, my heart pounded, my pulse raced. I was totally losing it already.
James yanked his head away, and for a second I almost screamed at him with frustration, but as I witnessed him tugging his trousers right down and rolling a condom over his thick length, any complaint fell away. The pressure was building, but I hadn’t yet gotten my release, and I couldn’t imagine any better way. I needed him inside of me now, it had been too long.
James was slow as he pushed himself into me, but I was needy. I wrapped my legs tightly around him and clawed at his body to increase the intensity of his thrusts. Now that this was happening, I needed every damn inch of him. I wante
d to experience it all.
“Oh God, James, you feel…” I didn’t even know how to express how good James felt inside of me as he moved, hitting every single right spot in the best way possible.
If I was honest with myself as the tension filled my spine, I could really fall for this man. This hadn’t gotten rid of any sexual tension at all, it had just reminded me that I actually liked this guy, and not just in a physical way. The physical was freaking amazing, but there was more, there was something deep, and as the bliss built those thoughts wouldn’t leave my brain alone.
But then the tsunami of pleasure rolled off of me in waves and I forgot about absolutely everything. The orgasm was so powerful as it shattered through my body that I could just barely focus enough to cling onto James’s neck to stop me from falling.
Falling…
***
James
“I cannot wait to go back home, I don’t know about you,” Clint declared wearily while rubbing his forehead hard. “This tour has been really hard on me. It’s been fun, but…you know, a rest wouldn’t go amiss.”
“I don’t know,” Liam replied with a smile. “It’s better now that Daphne has joined us.”
Usually I would have smartass remark to make about his soppy, sickly comment, never mind the googly eyes that he was giving his girlfriend, but today…I kind of got it. This tour had only been so good for me because Thea had been here the whole time.
Although…I still wasn’t sure what was going on with me and her. Once we got back on the tour bus we seemed to have a silent understanding that we wouldn’t talk about us until we were alone again, and we hadn’t had a moment to ourselves since.
“Get off me, Liam,” Daphne joked as she shoved him away. “Where’s Thea? I already need some non-business chat. I adore you lot but sometimes you’re so boring.”
“Oh, I think she’s in her dressing room,” I replied lightly, trying to act like I didn’t know where she was the whole damn time. “I saw her going there earlier on…”
As Daphne wandered off, I wondered if Thea would talk to her about what had happened between us. I wanted to listen in to hear what was being said, but I couldn’t. For so many reasons.
“So, things seem better between you and Thea,” Liam announced as if he could read my mind. “Even I’m starting to believe that there might be something between you.” He started off laughing, but as he noticed my expression the sound fell away. “I mean, there isn’t…is there?”
“I erm…” I didn’t know how to answer that. I couldn’t admit to it, but I didn’t want to deny Thea either. She was far too precious for that.
“Oh my God, is there?” Liam leaned in and squinted his eyes at me. “Is that why you haven’t been a nightmare this tour?”
“What do you mean?” Focusing on that part of his statement felt much safer than discussing my emotions.
“Well, you know, the drunken antics, the hangovers, the angry women…”
Oops. I guess I never realized how much my behavior affected everyone else. I really had been selfish in my pursuit for empty happiness. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up.”
“I always told you he just needed the right woman,” Clint jumped in with a smug smile.
“Oh God, you guys, will you stop it?” I needed to talk about something else now before it drove me mad. “What are we going to finish with tonight? Maybe we should turn things up a bit since it’s the last night of the tour.”
“You realize that it’s the last night of the tour, don’t you?”
I gave Liam a blank look. “That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”
“So how are you going to ensure that things last with Thea? It won’t be the same when you aren’t seeing each other every single day.”
Uh oh. I’d thought about that in passing, but never seriously. I guess I didn’t realize that the day would come around so quickly, I thought I had plenty of time, but it was actually here. It was happening now, I needed to act fast.
“I…I don’t know,” I admitted, giving the game away completely. There was no point in keeping things to myself anymore. “I guess I didn’t really think about it. What do you think I should do?”
“I dedicated a song to Daphne…” Liam started, before spotting my expression. “Oh, of course you can’t really do that. People already think you’re together so it’ll lose some of its meaning. Hmmm…”
“Maybe you shouldn’t play any games at all,” Clint replied, sounding wiser than he had done in a very long time. “Things have obviously been very confusing for you both up until this point. Maybe you should just be honest about your feelings.”
“Yeah…true…” The times that Thea seemed happiest around me was when I was being honest and truthful. Maybe I just needed to ask her out on a date. Just ask her to go out to dinner with me, no big deal.
So why did that feel so damn scary?
“Well?” Clint shoved me in the direction of Thea’s dressing room. “What are you waiting for? Go and do it now. Don’t let yourself think too much. That’s when you start making a fool out of yourself. If there’s one thing I know about you, James, it’s that your brain does you absolutely no favors at all.”
My pulse raced with nerves, but I listened to my bandmate for a change. Mostly because he seemed to have my best interests at heart and he actually wanted me to succeed here. I knocked lightly on Thea’s door and waited for her soft, sweet voice to answer me.
“Come in.”
I stepped inside with terror coursing through my veins, and gave Daphne a meaningful look. Luckily it seemed that Thea had been discussing what was going on between us because she scurried out without a millisecond of questioning, leaving me and Thea alone.
As I looked at her, the girl that I was falling so deeply for, my chest swelled hotly with happiness. She was so gorgeous, she made me a better person, and if I played my cards right she might just be mine. I never thought I’d be in the position where I wanted someone to be mine, but now I was desperate for it. What a difference a short amount of time could make.
“Are you okay, James?” she asked quietly. “You look a bit stressed?”
I automatically wiped my forehead as if I was trying to get rid of any sweat. “Oh yeah, I’m good. Just thinking about how it’s the last night of tour, you know?” I was so nervous, what the hell was going on with me? Thea had such a power over me and she probably didn’t even realize it. “And…well, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to see what this could be between me and you.” I could feel my whole body heating up. I needed to say this quick before I completely fell apart. “I guess what I’m trying to ask is…would you…maybe like to go on a date with me? Afterwards?”
Thea looked up at me under her eyelashes with an adorable smile on her face. I could feel the whole room still around me while I waited for her answer. I hoped and desperately prayed that she was going to say yes, that I hadn’t misread all the signals, but I couldn’t be too sure…
“Yes,” she finally whispered, calming down any panic. “I think I would like that very much.”
My face burst into a grin and I couldn’t resist wrapping my arms around her if only for a moment. Her warm body in my arms felt right, this was what I really wanted.
Thea was the one for me.
***
Thea
I had to admit, it felt a little bizarre to be sitting across from James in such a formal setting that wasn’t staged. It wasn’t him that was weird, it was the formality of things after such a long time of things being so confusing. He’d picked a small, intimate place for our first proper date and I was grateful. It was the sort of place where we wouldn’t get photographed, and so far we hadn’t even been recognized. It couldn’t be more different from the staged situations if it tried.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” James commented thoughtfully. “We’ve put ourselves in all kinds of romantic situations, then we’ve—well you’ve done a lot of avoiding.” I blushed brightly at the
very accurate accusation. I didn’t even bother to defend myself because I felt certain he knew why I’d done it. “Then there was…well, we got together.” That was clearly his coy way of saying we hooked up, which was sweet. “And now we’re actually doing things properly.”
“To me it’s weird that it doesn’t feel weird,” I mused as I sipped my wine. “Probably after everything that we’ve been through this should feel a bit…I don’t know, stilted or something. It just feels really nice.”
My stomach twisted and churned happily as he gave me an intense look. Now that I was allowing him to properly see me and I was gazing at him too, it was almost like ‘oh of course, there you are!’ I couldn’t explain it, there were so many reasons why me and him shouldn’t work, but we really did. If I ever imagined my future husband when I was younger he looked totally the opposite to this slightly scruffy, muscular rock star, and he certainly wasn’t an ex-playboy, a party boy with plenty of notches on his bed post.
But now James Ward occupied every damn inch of my mind. His past didn’t matter, nor did mine. All I cared about was the here and now.
I was trying not to get carried away, I didn’t want to open my heart up too much just to get burned, but my emotions kept getting the better of me. Every time I looked at him my heart pumped hot blood rapidly through my body. Every time I thought about him a dance party exploded in my stomach. I really hoped that my instincts were right, that this could actually be something real.
“Ooh look.” James leaned back in his chair and smirked. “Desert is coming, and it looks lovely.”
My eyes widened as I saw the chocolaty mess that was coming over to our table. I had absolutely no idea what it was, but it looked delicious. I didn’t think I’d be able to eat it without making too much of a mess of myself, but again it didn’t seem to matter.
I felt so comfortable with James that none of it mattered.
“I’m really glad we did this!” I declared happily while tucking in.
