Dirty Hope

by P. Jameson

  Her cheeks flamed red and she didn’t wait for him to answer before she ran to catch up with Megan.

  “Maybe,” he whispered to himself.

  But there were no guarantees, and his anxiety reminded him of the fact.

  Chapter Five

  Barb was in heaven. If anyone had implied that the best day of her life could be had at a place called Game Palace, she would have laughed them to hell and back. Twice. But they’d also be telling the darn truth.

  Hours later, she and Megan had mastered Whack-n-win, Dart Ballz, Jumpin’ Jackpot, and a plethora of video games. And the smile that had been plastered to her face since the first game couldn’t have been taken down with a crowbar.

  She glanced at Adam from the corner of her eye. She’d never seen him this laid back. His shoulders still held that tense edge that told her he wasn’t completely okay. But he’d laughed. He’d smiled. He had danced.

  Holy cow, none of the others were going to believe this when she told them. Maybe she wouldn’t tell them. Maybe she’d keep this between him and her. At least until she saw how it would all play out.

  “You getting hungry yet?” he asked Megan.

  “Nope. Not yet. We still have so much to do.”

  “So much? But we’ve practically wiped the place out of tickets.”

  It was true. Barb and Megan had collected so many that there was no doubt who was winning his little bet. Meanwhile, Adam could hold his entire winnings between two fingers.

  Barb sighed. Man, she loved winning.

  “You know we have to do laser tag, daddy.”

  “We do?”

  “Of course. We have to see if Barb is good at that too.” Megan turned to look at her, questioning. “Well? Are ya?”

  “You know what, I’m not sure. I’ve never played laser tag.”

  Megan’s jaw dropped. “How is that possible?”

  Barb shrugged, laughing at her reaction. “That’s a great question.”

  Megan took Barb’s hand, dragging her to the laser tag line. “Well, let’s go then.”

  The line was long but moving quickly, so they stored their things in one of the available lockers and suited up.

  Barb had just buckled on her vest when a familiar voice called her name.

  “Auntie Barb!” She turned to find Kit running at her full force, arms already spread for a hug. Not far behind him were Ragan and… Mac? Well, shit. This was going to be a booger to explain.

  “Hey, buddy!” She bent and scooped up Kit to swing him around. The boy was getting so big. Not much longer and she wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. The thought made her sad. But then she remembered that he was growing up safe from the fox skulk they’d escaped. That little fact made all the difference. With so many upstanding examples, Kit would grow to be a good male who treated his female right, even if the hounds stuck around.

  “I didn’t know you would be here,” he said as she set him back on the ground.

  “Ditto, little man.”

  Barb found Ragan’s questioning gaze as the vixen caught up to her son. But she didn’t have to even ask because seconds later, Adam and Megan appeared from the weapons cache, ready for war.

  “Kit!” Megan squealed, and the two started gabbing about the laser she chose.

  Mac was a little slower to catch up, his slight limp getting in the way, but he looked just as confused as Ragan, and an awkward silence settled over the four for them. At least the kiddos were oblivious.

  “We’re going to play laser tag,” Megan said, stating the obvious as only a six-year-old can do.

  Kit’s face lit up. “Wanna be on the same team?”

  “Yeah!”

  “Can we do it, mommy?” he asked, staring up at Ragan.

  “Sure.” She looked at Adam. “As long as it’s okay with her dad.”

  “I know!” Megan interrupted. “Why don’t we do grown-ups versus kids!”

  Adam frowned. “You sure about that? It will be four against two.”

  “Not if we get in a group with other people.” Megan’s triumphant smile couldn’t be contained. As if she and Kit had already won.

  Adam sighed dramatically, inspecting his laser and setting it on his hip before he gave her a cocky grin. “Your funeral, Nutmeg.”

  She burst into giggles as she and Kit ran to get in line and Adam and Mac followed.

  “What is this?” Ragan asked as soon as they were out of hearing range. “Are you on a… date?”

  “What? No. No, it’s not like that.”

  “Adam seems… different.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t think I’ve ever seen him tease like that. Not even with Megan.”

  “Nope.” He was usually so strict with her in public. Barb would never question his parenting skills though, because Megan had such great manners. He was raising a perfect lady. Ha! No wonder he’d wanted to keep Barb far away from her.

  “What’s with you?” Ragan asked.

  “Huh?”

  “You’re short-answering me. Since when are you okay with one-word answers?”

  Barb shrugged giving her friend an apologetic smile. “I don’t know. I guess I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I’m not sure what this all means. All I know is Megan wanted me to come with them and Adam agreed. Beyond that, I have no answers, Rae.”

  “I wonder what’s going on with him,” Ragan mused.

  Barb stepped into the laser arena and charged her weapon. “I don’t know,” she murmured, shooting Ragan a hopeful glance. “But I really like it.”

  “I guess now is a bad time to tell you that Jett came by the hotel to see you this morning.”

  Barb scowled. The foxes were from her former skulk but they claimed to want a different life now, and they were in Cedar Valley to prove it. Unfortunately, they each wanted her to be part of that new life. Each of them were trying to win her like she was one of these arcade games.

  “Lalalala,” Barb sing-songed. “I’m not listening.”

  “He brought fucking flowers,” Ragan said. “Picture it, will ya. Big fox shifter carrying a bundle of roses up to the front desk. He could barely figure out how to hold them without breaking the stems. It was hilarious.”

  “If he brought me flowers, he truly knows nothing about me. Should have brought tacos.” Or made me pancakes, she thought to herself.

  Ragan charged her own weapon and Barb saw the barest hint of a grin curve her lips. Ragan didn’t believe in love, had zero reason to, aside from the unshakable love she had for Kit. But with everyone around them finding mates and therefore happiness, Barb knew she had to be questioning all those beliefs.

  “Y’all ready to show these kiddos who’s boss,” Mac rumbled. He and Adam waited at the course entrance.

  Barb’s eyebrows shot up into her forehead. “You’re going in, Mac? Lotta running. You sure you’re up for it?”

  He frowned, his gaze flicking to Ragan for a brief moment before he stared out into the arena. Wait, something was wrong. Barb could feel it, the sudden weirdness in the air.

  “Geez, Barb,” Ragan muttered. “He’s fine to play.”

  “No, of course… I just meant…”

  Shit, Mac was a tough guy at his core. He’d once been a top motocross competitor and was known for his ability to walk away from a crash no matter how hurt he was. He’d taken a lot of hits and had the limp to show it. There was nothing to be done about that, but if his gumption was anything to go by, he wasn’t through with living that adrenaline life. She shouldn’t have questioned him.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  Mac gave Barb a tight smile. “Nah, it’s fine. I usually just find a high spot and pick ‘em off down below.”

  Barb nodded. “Good strategy.”

  “It’s worked for me so far.” He pushed into the course and Ragan followed him.

  Barb shook her head. “Foot in mouth, Barb,” she muttered. “Foot. In. Mouth.”

  Adam came up behind her. “You alway
s talk to yourself?”

  “Pretty much, yeah. It’s kind of a whole… thing.”

  “What kind of thing?”

  Barb sighed. “I’m my own best bestie.” She stepped into the course, sweeping side to side and looking for the blue lights that indicated an opponent. She was looking specifically for two tiny opponents.

  “I thought Tabatha was your uh… bestie.”

  “She is. And so is Lex and Sera and Sally and Rae. I have lots of besties. But I’m my own best bestie.” She found Adam’s curious gaze in the neon lit darkness. “If you can’t be your own bestie how can you ever be a good one to someone else?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like something Ma Turner used to say.”

  “Hot Rod’s mama?”

  Adam nodded, raising his laser to shoot an opponent across the lane before continuing. “She used to say, you can’t really love someone until you learn to love yourself.”

  “Whoa.” Once again, Barb was uncharacteristically short on words. It would take some time to get used to this with him, but she was up for it.

  “Yeah. But maybe that’s bullshit, because…” He faded off as he ducked behind a wall to avoid getting shot. Barb took cover behind him, just until she could get a shot off. But all she really wanted in that very moment was for him to finish that sentence. This was the most insight she’d had into him yet. He couldn’t leave her hanging.

  Quickly she shot the target until their weapon went dead. “Awww man,” they groaned, running for a hiding place.

  Adam shot another opponent until they were out too. “Yessss. Still got it.”

  “Finish what you were saying,” Barb urged.

  “Huh?”

  “Bullshit. You were telling me why the love thing is bullshit.”

  “Oh, yeah.” His focus was on the blue light targets that filled the arena, but then his gaze found Barb and his eyes were something she would never be able to forget for the rest of her life. So haunted. This was what he kept to himself, what he hid behind that tough outer shell. The pain he endured all on his own. Her vixen reacted with a whimper inside. “It’s bullshit, because I love Megan.”

  With that, he took off for the next cover, leaving her stunned. The unsaid part of that was what mattered the most. He loved his daughter but not himself.

  Barb ran after him, dodging laser beams and other teammates. She’d found a crack in Adam’s shell. Finally, she could begin to understand how to help him. She cared too much about him to let him continue like this. Even if they never met eye to eye. Even if her affection was never requited. She wanted to ease him. Her fox demanded it. Her heart couldn’t be at peace without it.

  She crouched beside him under a plastic boulder that hung out from the wall.

  “There they are,” he whispered. He pointed across the room at two tiny munchkins all lit up with blue. “See ‘em?”

  “In my sights,” Barb confirmed.

  “Let’s follow them.”

  Adorably, Megan and Kit had no idea the ‘enemy’ was so close that they could hear them whispering plans to take out Mac first. After watching the two little ones pick off members of their team, Barb and Adam were forced to finally engage.

  Still following closely behind the kids, they made their way around to cut them off and finally end this.

  “These two are smarter than they’re letting on,” Adam whispered. “I feel like they know exactly what they’re doing.”

  Barb was just rounding the next barrier, when she spotted the tiny blue lights with lasered aimed at her. “Adam—” Her warning was cut off by a force that sharply pulled her back.

  Adam wrapped his forearm around her waist, dragging her backward out of the shot. Barb gasped at the sudden body to body contact. He was solid and warm and he smelled heavenly. Like hot metal mixed with fresh cut grass. Dear god. Being this close was torture of the best variety.

  “I saw ‘em run that way!” Kit hissed.

  The two of them froze like that, Barb’s back to Adam’s front, not daring to move or even breathe until Megan and Kit ran past the hideout. When they were in the clear, Barb let out the breath she was holding and realized the fierce grip she had on Adam’s forearm. Prying her fingers loose, she tried to step away, but his arm was like a vice, locking her in place.

  What was happening?

  His hot breath tickled the back of her neck as he lowered his head to the curve of her shoulder and breathed in. Instantly, her vixen sprang to life inside her middle. Mine. Mine, mine, miiiiiine. Holy crap, the thing was going to drive her insane before they ever got out of this arena.

  “Adam?”

  “Shh. Don’t say anything,” he whispered, and she let him turn her until they were face to face. His hand came up to curve around her cheek, his thumb brushing under her eye softer than she could have imagined him ever being.

  In the dark, she found his eyes but she didn’t know if he could see her surprise. He was touching her. And in the sweetest, most exciting way. Like he needed her. Like he wanted her. She didn’t move, terrified she’d break the spell.

  Slowly, achingly slow, he lowered his mouth to hers, brushing her eager lips once with his own before pulling back again. Her ability to see better in the dark meant she didn’t miss the way his brow furrowed as if the tender kiss had pained him.

  This wasn’t good. It didn’t matter that it meant the world to her… not if it hurt him.

  She was about to apologize, tell a joke, make a fool of herself, something to ease the awareness between them. But just as she opened her mouth, a growl vibrated Adam’s throat and he swooped in to kiss her hard and deep, his tongue diving in to tangle with hers. A moan escaped her because his desperate kiss was pure relief. As if this was the only thing that could save her from her past. From the skulk she left behind. From the memories. From the hounds that she would always say no to.

  Her arms wrapped around Adam’s neck and he pushed her against the wall, the lasers and targets completely forgotten. Angling her jaw for the perfect connection, he thrust in and out of her mouth, leaving her breathless and boneless and molten. He tasted like mint, and his pure heat bled into her, soaking all the way to her marrow.

  Yessss, her animal purred.

  They consumed each other like they were both starved. And yeah, this desire had been building in her for so damn long, but maybe he wasn’t as oblivious to her as she had thought. Because never before had a male kissed her like… like…

  His.

  Like she was his.

  An alarm sounded, causing her and Adam to break apart, both of them gasping for breath. Looking down, she noticed the target light on her vest flashing. The thing vibrated like it was going to come right off and in her lust filled daze, she couldn’t figure out what it meant. Until Adam’s armor made the same noise and Kit jumped into the opening in the wall. “Gotcha!” he said, while Megan could be heard giggling from around the corner.

  Just then, the lights came up, alerting them that the session was over. Adam cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze. “Time to go,” he said roughly.

  “Yeah.”

  He ran a hand through his hair as he walked off to find Megan, leaving Barb and her smitten vixen to bounce back from the after effects of the best kiss of her life.

  Chapter Six

  Adam crouched on the dusty floor of the Dirt Track Dogs shop. If Barb wouldn’t let him take her bike home with him, the work would have to be done here. Race day was tomorrow, and he was running out of time to get Lil’ Barb all tuned up.

  He wouldn’t be so rushed if he hadn’t been avoiding the entire world for the last four days.

  Four days since he’d kissed Barb in the dark arcade like a horny teenager.

  Four days since his world started to unravel.

  Until that kiss, his life was messy. A ratted ball of yarn batted about by something akin to kittens but a lot less cute. But now? Now his yarn was piling up in heaping tangles on the floor and he had no idea how to wind it all ba
ck up.

  He’d opened a dangerous box and he couldn’t shove the contents back inside.

  After laser tag, Ragan, Mac, and Kit joined them for lunch, and Barb hitched a ride home with them. Made it easy for them to avoid talking about what happened. He didn’t have a clue what to say to her.

  All he knew was he wanted more.

  Her taste, the feel of her body, it haunted his sleep. He was waking up sweating and frustrated, and hard as steel.

  He wanted to bring her close. He wanted to push her away. He was constantly in conflict with himself. How could he face her like this?

  Twisting a rachet, he tried to ignore Mac where he sat in the corner cleaning some tools with an old rag. The man was practically looking over his shoulder, but so far hadn’t intervened.

  “You gonna keep tightening all the shit that’s already tight?” Mac sounded bored, but he could leave any time he wanted.

  “I might.”

  “The thing is already sparkling too. You gonna shine what’s already shiny?”

  “Most likely.”

  “Well at least if you’re gonna be here, you could do something of value. Like sweep or somethin’.”

  Adam stood to switch out his tools. He smirked at Mac. “Now why would I do that, old man?”

  Mac stopped polishing and shot him a brutal look. “I told you not to call me that, asshole.”

  Oh, he’d stepped on a nerve.

  “Why does that bother you so much?”

  Mac casually went back to his rag work. “Because I’m not that old.”

  “Older than me.”

  “Not by much. What, five years? Six? Not enough to be acting like I’m fucking Methuselah.”

  Adam laughed. “I could just cut to the chase and call you that.”

  Mac pressed his lips together, ending the conversation. With a shrug, Adam returned to the bike. Mac was right. There wasn’t much to do. Barb’s bike was in tip-top shape.

  “You know what I think,” Mac mused. “I think you’re just hanging around in case she shows up.”

  Adam tensed and the wrench in his hand slipped. “She who?” He kept his voice neutral but he realized once again the man was right. This nitpicking over Lil’ Barb was just biding time on the chance that she’d come by the shop.