Marriage Vow Murder

by Leslie Langtry

  "What do you have to say for yourself?" Randi nudged.

  It was an unusual dynamic. Randi appeared to be the sweet one and the nurturer. Ronni was the constantly angry one who hated everything and everyone. With the exception of Juliette Dowd, of course.

  I couldn't wait. "You gave the key to the woman who might have kidnapped him! I caught her rummaging around in the middle of the night!"

  Randi looked worried. Ronni looked murderous.

  "Juliette would never hurt Rex! She thinks you did it! I gave her the key to look for clues!"

  Her words packed a wallop, and I sat down in the nearest chair—which happened to be a grizzly bear in the seated position with his arms out. He was very comfortable.

  "That's outrageous!" Randi shrieked, turning an alarming shade of purple. "Why on earth would Merry kidnap Rex? Have you lost your mind?"

  Ronni's face went slack, and I guessed this was the first time her twin had ever blown up on her. The crushed chicken dropped to the floor as she stood there with her mouth open, gawking at Randi.

  "I've put up with this long enough!" Randi started pacing. "Juliette is out of the picture! Rex chose Merry!"

  I joined Ronni in gaping at Randi.

  "If you don't stop acting like this, I'll…I'll…" She looked around and grabbed a wooden meat tenderizer from the table. "You'll get it!"

  Ronni seemed to regain her fury, and she scooped up the mangled chicken and ran out of the room.

  I arched one eyebrow. "A meat tenderizer?"

  Randi took a deep breath and within seconds was back to being sugar and spice. "She's afraid of these." She looked at the tool in her hand. "A kid on the playground, when we were little, brought one down on her foot. I've used this for years to keep her in line. I have one stashed in every room."

  She handed it to me, and I took it. Made of solid oak, this would be a formidable weapon. I set down the armed weasels.

  "Keep it!" Randi smiled. "I've got a whole gross of them stashed in the attic."

  As I walked to my car, it hit me. Juliette was doing the same thing I was. She was looking for Rex too. She was worried about him. For a very brief moment, I toyed with the idea of teaming up with her. And then I regained my senses.

  I unlocked my minivan and sat down. Just as I was about to put the key into the ignition, I noticed an envelope on the passenger seat. It was blank. That was odd. I didn't remember it being here earlier. But then, I've been loopy these past few days. It was probably some of the girls' MISSING posters. I picked it up and tore it open. Two pieces of paper fell out. One was a blank crossword puzzle with some of the boxes highlighted in yellow.

  The second had writing on it:

  Weddings make a family out of two…Let's add in Something New.

  I froze. Very gingerly, I set down the envelope and using a pen, shoved the puzzle and clue aside. Then I called Ted.

  * * *

  "Was your van locked when you went inside?" Officer Weir held up the clue with gloved hands and squinted at it.

  I nodded. "It was. I remember having to unlock it when I came out." I shivered, but not from the cold. "I wasn't even in the shop very long. How could someone break in to my van? I can't find any damage."

  Randi and Ronni appeared when the siren came closer. Officer Kevin Dooley pulled into the lot and pulled up next to my van. We stood there, waiting for him to get out, but he didn't. For a second, I thought I saw Ted roll his eyes. Poor guy.

  "Officer Dooley." The exasperation was clear in his voice. "Would you join me, please?"

  Kevin got out of the car, holding a box of donuts that he did not share with the rest of us.

  Ronni scoffed and went back inside, while Randi remained on the porch, wringing her hands.

  "The envelope will have my fingerprints on it," I said, ignoring Kevin and talking directly to Ted. "But I didn't touch the other two pieces of paper."

  He put them into two separate baggies and ran his hands over the doors of the van.

  "This is the same guy," I insisted. "Can I see the crossword again?"

  The officer shook his head. "I'm sorry. We need to check it for fingerprints. That's the priority."

  "Yes, I get that," I argued. "But we may not have much time to solve this clue."

  "I'm really sorry, Merry. I'll get it to you as fast as I can." He set the baggies with the clue and envelope on the hood of the van and asked me to lock and then unlock it. I motioned to Randi on the porch. She came over.

  "Do you have a copier?" I whispered.

  The woman nodded.

  "I think you should bring the nice man a cup of tea."

  Randi looked at me and grinned as I slipped her the baggie with the note. Then she disappeared back into the house.

  I stepped up to the van. "Try popping the hood," I said. "Maybe they messed with the locking mechanism."

  Ted nodded and hit the button inside before walking around and opening the hood. Randi returned momentarily with the note and once I replaced it, offered Officer Weir a cup of tea.

  "You know," she offered, "my uncle was a mechanic and taught me all about cars."

  He did?

  "Why don't I help you take a look?" she asked sweetly.

  I shoved the crossword into my pocket as he closed the hood.

  "Merry," Ted warned. "I'll get it to you as fast as I can. But I really think we have a good chance of finding fingerprints or DNA. Unfortunately, it's New Year's Eve, so I don't know if anyone will be around."

  It was New Year's Eve? "Of course. I can wait." How did I miss that? Oh right, Rex and I were supposed to be celebrating the holiday on a beach.

  Officer Dooley started to dust the van for prints. Unfortunately, the powder from the donuts got mixed in with the print powder, and as a result, he found nothing.

  "I'm going back inside." I rubbed my arms vigorously. "I'm freezing."

  Ted waved me off, and I went back into the shop.

  "Here you go." Randi handed me a piece of paper, with one eye on the window.

  "Thanks." I unfolded it.

  "It's a crossword puzzle." Randi studied it. "I'm terrible at these things."

  I smiled. "That's okay, because I know someone who's not."

  * * *

  One thing that really bothered me as I drove to Linda's condo, was how the kidnapper got into my van. I didn't tell the police this, but I'd installed some extra security a few months ago, which included biometric scanning throughout the exterior of the car.

  It had been a pain in the butt when I'd made everyone I know come over and rub their fingers over the van. I'd wanted to make sure my fiancé, best friend, and Girl Scout troop wouldn't be shut out. That, and I didn't want them disabled by the high-pitched squeal the van emitted when it didn't recognize a handprint on the door.

  But there'd been no sound. Whoever'd gotten in managed to bypass my security. That pretty much ruled Juliette out. She didn't seem patient or tech savvy enough to avoid detection. So how did the envelope get into my van?

  While I'd been doped in my bed for a day, my van had been in my garage. Mom and Dad wouldn't have had any reason to go in there, and the doors had been closed and locked. In fact, I didn't think the envelope had been on the passenger seat when I drove over to Ferguson Taxidermy—Where Your Pet Lives On Forever!

  That could only mean that someone got it in there during the ten minutes I was inside the shop. Without tripping the alarm system. Without a key.

  A key! Was it someone I knew? Someone who knew about my system and had a copy of my key made? It seemed unlikely, but then again, so was the idea that my big, strong, and smart fiancé could be kidnapped.

  I arrived at Linda's with more questions than answers. She met me at the door and led me to her kitchen. If she was surprised when I told her about the break-in, she didn't show it.

  "This isn't the original?" she asked as she studied the puzzle.

  I shook my head. "It's a copy."

  She read aloud, "Weddings make a family
of two…Let's add in Something New. The clues seem easy enough," she said. "But it still might take a little while." She pulled a sharp pencil from a drawer and sat down to work.

  "What do you think it means…something new?" I asked.

  Linda looked up at me. "It's the second line of the poem. The clues are going in order." She shrugged. "Mr. Spitz was old. That's how he tied in to the clue. I'm not sure about new though."

  "Maybe it's tied to the wedding? We found Leonard Spitz in the first pew on the day of the rehearsal."

  The retired teacher thought of this. "The next clue should be about something borrowed. That might have to do with the ceremony. Do you think there's a chance that the next surprise is at the church?"

  We called Kelly on the way, and she met us there. The doors were unlocked because the pastor had a meeting. For a moment I stopped to stare at the altar in the rosy, dimming light of a winter afternoon. It really was a pretty church.

  My stomach clenched. Someday we were going to get married here. I promised myself it would happen.

  "I don't see anything." Kelly came from the front of the church, disrupting my thoughts.

  I started walking the aisle, pausing to look under each bench. Linda helped us search the rest of the church. After ten minutes, we called it.

  "I guess that would've been too easy." I sighed as we got back into my van. "I'm sorry. I got a little carried away by running off to the church. I should've guessed there were no shortcuts." I just wanted to find Rex. But it looked like this baddie wanted me to stick to his rules.

  "The kidnapper doesn't want it to be easy," Linda said. "That's why the puzzle."

  My stomach grumbled, and I realized I hadn't had any lunch.

  "Why don't we pick up some food at Oleo's," my fourth-grade teacher said. "We'll work better on full stomachs."

  "It's New Year's Eve," I said slowly. "If you have plans, I can…" Can what? I didn't have any plans. I guess I could hang out with my parents.

  Linda studied me. "I was going to go to a party, but I'd much rather stay in and help you."

  I tried not to cry. I really did. This was too much. This nice lady wanted to help me, a kid she hadn't seen in years. I looked over at Kelly as the tears ran down my face.

  She shook her head. "I don't have anything better to do either. Robert's sister and her family are visiting. They will have a great time with Finn. I'll stay with you."

  How did I end up with such great friends? I wiped the tears away and nodded. Kelly understood.

  Twenty minutes later, after dodging many drunken revelers at the restaurant, we were back at the condo. It started to snow outside as darkness fell. Linda set the table in the kitchen, and Kelly and I opened the cartons. Kelly and Linda had salads. I had the biggest burger they had—the Artery Clogger 2000. Meat always made me feel better.

  As we ate, we took turns looking at the crossword. It looked like a normal puzzle to me. Riley and I worked on them a lot when on surveillance. But some of the boxes were highlighted in this puzzle. I'd never seen that before. Solving the crossword wouldn't be enough. Linda would have a word scramble to deal with once she was finished.

  "These are such short clues," Kelly said, frustrated. "How can you get an answer out of 'egg'?"

  Our former teacher nodded. "That's the trick. And often the answer isn't what you think it is." She picked up her pencil. "For example, it could mean the way the egg is cooked, like fried, over easy, or poached. Or it's referring to the animal who lays it. Or it's a reference to human reproduction."

  "One word could mean all that?" Kelly asked.

  She nodded. "And then there are synonyms, antonyms…thousands of other options. So you look at how many letters you need. In this case, it's three. So I'm going to say 'roe.'"

  "Fish eggs?" I asked.

  "That's the only thing I can think of that has three letters. It could be 'eat,' or 'fry,' but I think that's a bit of a reach. Now I could be wrong, but we have to finish the puzzle to find out. When you find a word you know is the right answer, then you can judge connecting words."

  Kelly and I ate and watched in awe as Linda Willard started to fill in the blanks. On a pad of paper, she kept a running list of other possible answers to the clues. Every rare now and then, she'd erase an answer and try another word. She was right. This was going to take a while.

  We cleared the table. I even took out the trash, stomping through an inch of the powder. I lingered in the doorway on my way back. It was so pretty when it snowed at night. Rex and I would go out on his covered deck and curl up on a wicker sofa and watch it all come down.

  I missed him. And I was sure he missed me. I knew he was counting on me to find him. Rex wasn't the kind of guy who needed to be macho all the time. He was okay with my particular skill set—unless I used it to get in his way. Right now, I'd do anything to have him lecture me on interfering with his investigations.

  "Merry." Kelly frowned as she handed me the phone I'd left in the kitchen. "You got a message that the rattlesnake you ordered was denied because you didn't submit proof that you're a herpetologist?"

  I snatched the phone. "Oh! That! I was, um, doing some research."

  She folded her arms over her chest. "You tried to order a poisonous snake, for research?"

  "Well, yes. Of course. Why?" Always throw it back in their laps if you can't think of a good reason for doing something…like trying to buy a venomous snake.

  Kelly wasn't buying it. For a moment, I thought I was going to get a lecture, but then she relaxed and took out her phone. She was talking to Robert in seconds and chatting about things.

  Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out how I was going to break in to the zoo to milk a snake. I've never done it, but I once saw a guy in Marrakesh milk an ostrich. Of course, if I go to the zoo, I have to see Mr. Fancy Pants, my adopted king vulture. In a way, he was my therapist. Unofficially of course, for the reason that he can't give advice other than a vulturish glare.

  Then there was the small fact that the Obladi Zoo is closed for the season, and because of a lion attack in July, they've stepped up security. I used to have a key to the aviary. Okay, I had a stolen key. I visited all the time, taking the vulture Girl Scout Cookies.

  Sadly, I didn't have any, and if I did, sneaking off to the zoo would take time away from the investigation. And Susan, my human therapist, was out of town for the holidays.

  "Do you want any champagne?" Kelly appeared at my side. "Linda doesn't have any on hand, but I could run home."

  I shook my head. "No. I need to keep a clear head from here on out."

  Before I knew what was happening, my best friend crushed me in a bear hug. "I'm sorry this is happening, Merry," she said when she released me. "We will find him. I know we will. And next New Year's Eve we will have a huge party to make up for this."

  "Next year, I'll be celebrating my one-year anniversary," I mused.

  She put an arm around me. "You will. You'll be an old married woman by this time next year." For some odd reason, this made Kelly giggle. The giggles gave way to outright laughter. I was pretty sure I didn't want to know why.

  Instead, I wandered back into the kitchen where Linda was about a third of the way through the puzzle. She was really good. I remembered a day in her class when she taught us how to do word-find puzzles, where you circle the word on a graph of letters.

  Those were my favorite puzzles. The teacher kept a box of pages on her desk, and if you finished an assignment early, you could take one and solve it. Linda didn't believe in idle time in a classroom. She thought you should work the whole time you were there. But she didn't say it couldn't be fun.

  My nerves were on edge, and I felt cagey, pacing throughout the kitchen as she worked. If I annoyed her, she didn't say anything. After an hour, Linda stood up and stretched. That was when I noticed it was getting late and she was getting tired. Part of me wanted to make her work until done. But I just couldn't do it. We needed her sharp.

  "We should head out,"
I said slowly, waiting for her to stop me.

  She didn't.

  "We still have empty boxes in the puzzle," Linda said. "Some are filled with mostly vowels. Which means we're getting there."

  "Are those numbers?" I asked as I looked over her shoulder.

  "I think so, but I'm not sure. This is supposed to be a challenge. The bad guy doesn't want it to be easy. In the end, we may have to unscramble what's in the highlighted boxes."

  "I can't thank you enough." My eyes were going a bit misty.

  Linda patted my shoulder and looked me in the eyes, "It's going to be alright, Merry. You'll see. I'll call you in the morning."

  As we said our good-byes and Kelly and I drove our separate ways, I wondered who would use this kind of method to torment me? But I was tired, and my brain was begging me to sleep, so I eased into the driveway and went inside.

  My parents, as they'd promised, weren't there. They'd left a note saying they'd taken Leonard out and fed all of the animals. That was good, because it was one less thing for me to do. Philby tried to trick me into feeding her again by staring a hole through my head. She was very talented at angry, persuasive staring, and I gave up a can of tuna. Which caused Leonard to give me the begging eyes.

  Dogs and cats have very different attitudes on manipulation. While Leonard tried to look sad and dejected, Philby used intimidation. Was that normal, or was it just my pets? I wondered. I unwrapped a cheese stick, and he swallowed it without chewing.

  Getting ready for bed was a chore. It was hard to get undressed. If Rex turned up or someone wearing a sign that said he'd kidnapped my fiancé turned up outside my door, I wanted to be ready to go. So, I sat on my bed, fully dressed, and thought about what had happened today.

  Someone broke into my van. A vehicle that I'd made very hard to break into. That nagged at me because it seemed like something a spy could do. I knew Linda would solve the crossword, but I wasn't too sure about Ted Weir. He'd shown promise at first, but it seemed to me that he'd dropped the ball on the ex-cons. Maybe I should cut him some slack. He's very young and new at this. And I needed all the help I could get.