Ambition and Alavidha

by Candy Rae

  For a few days more the rearguard would remain, keeping the border closed, allowing the last wagons to reach the rendezvous then they too would slip away. She imagined herself standing forlornly on the Stronghold ramparts watching them run away, never to return,

  That entire day Tara remained in her cubicle. She listened to the Senior Cadets upstairs clattering about as they got ready to leave. She tried not to listen to their excited voices. There was a last flurry of noise above her and then silence.

  Tara was alone in the barracks. She didn’t mind. She didn’t care.

  Nothing mattered any more.

  * * * * *

  It was mid-afternoon when Davad found her.

  His grey haired head peeped in. Tara knew who he was. He had been one of the Vada weapons instructors once, before he had retired.

  His blue old brown eyes were compassionate as he spied her lying in her misery.

  “Well,” he said, swinging open the door and entering, “Tara Josensdochter isn’t it? Sister of Thalia and Hal?”

  Tara gulped.

  Davad said nothing, he was watching.

  At last Tara raised her face to look at his.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.

  “I understand,” he said in as a gentle a voice as he could manage, how is ex-students would have marvelled, “that’s why I’m here.”

  “You are?”

  “I’m here to help.”

  “No-one can help. It’s all over.”

  “Don’t say that young one, nothing is over until it’s over, do you hear? You’ve still got your health don’t you? You’ve got brains. There’s still a lot you can do with your life.”

  “I wanted to be like Thalia,” she gulped.

  He sat down on the foot of the bed.

  “I shall tell you a story,” he said, “lie back and listen. I was very like you are, once. I came here to the Stronghold when I was about twelve, desperate to life-bond with a Lind and to join the Vada.”

  “You did?” Despite herself, Tara was getting interested.

  “Jumped ship as a matter of fact. Was a cabin boy on the old Malinon, she were a trade lugger that plied her trade between Port Wylie and here. I’d always been fascinated by stories about the Lind so I jumped. I hid around the town for a while picking up odd jobs here and there. One day I met a man, Weaponsmaster Alkin’s predecessor he was. Don’t know why, maybe he felt sorry for me or maybe it was something else but he took me back with him here to the Stronghold and set me to work in the salle, keeping it tidy, cleaning weapons and the like. Even made me attend lessons, I never had much lessoning before I got here. He taught me how to use the weapons I was looking after and told me I showed promise. Told me that if I worked hard over the years I could become very good. So I worked hard. I always hoped a Lind might find me suitable so that I could become a cadet but it never happened. I was upset at the time but I got over it. So will you.”

  Tara had her doubts about that.

  “I got very good and in my early twenties I joined the weapons staff here as an instructor. I trained cadets, the militia and others and kept on doing it. It’s been a long and happy life. I met a girl, got married and had children. I’m a grandfather now, eleven times over.”

  Tara was sitting up, her eyes fixed on Davad. She had stopped crying.

  “Where are your family now?” she asked.

  “Here, every blinking one of them. They have farms all around here, none of them ever did take to weaponry.”

  “They didn’t go with the rest.”

  “Why should they? Their homes are here, that won’t change. No Lind has even sniffed around any of them looking for a potential life-mate. Empathic we are not.”

  “But didn’t you want to go?”

  “My family are here.”

  Davad got to his feet.

  “Now young lady, no point lying here wallowing in self pity. You have to keep busy. Tell you what, you go get a wash and a clean up. I’ll wait for you. Then we can go down to the salle and I’ll give you a lesson in swordsmanship. You never know, you might be a natural. Your brother Hal was good.”

  “Not Thalia?”

  “Average,” he replied, “but good enough. She wasn’t a natural, had to work at it.”

  “I’m probably a dunce,” Tara said but she was a mite cheered at the prospect of a lesson in using a sword. “I’ve never held a sword in my life.”

  “You’ll not know until you try,” he said, “now be quick, I haven’t got all day.”

  Tara realised he expected her to follow and right quickly. His last words had had more than a hint of command in them so she got up and hurried to the ablutions annex. A quick splash and she felt a lot better. Towel wrapped round her body she scudded back to her cubicle and began to dress. The only clean clothes she had were the ones from the stores, cadet uniforms, a bit worn round the edges but they’d have to do. She put them on and slipped her feet into the boots, also of Vada make and rushed outside.

  Davad nodded but said nothing. He began to walk as if he expected her to follow. Tara did, trying to match her step with his but not succeeding. She took three steps for his every two.

  When they reached the salle and stepped inside Tara stopped and looked around. So this was where Thalia had learnt how to use the sword she carried. Thalia had said in her infrequent letters that on wet winter days sword lessons were taken indoors, un-mounted weapons practice she had called it.

  “We’ll being with the simple moves,” announced Davad, handing her a wooden practice sword. He had a similar one but it was older, well worn, it’s grip dark with age. “I’ll demonstrate and you try to copy me.”

  The next bell had Tara wondering what she had let herself in for. This was more than hard, it was hard. Her sword arm grew tired and her wrist became like sap oozing out of an allst tree. Her back began to hurt and her legs? The jelly feeling was indescribable.

  At last Davad called a halt

  “That’s enough for the first day,” he said and directed her to the area where she was to rack her sword. “Always put your weapon away,” he instructed.

  Obediently she did as he ordered.

  She got a surprise when he said, “same bell tomorrow. You did well for a first attempt.”

  He nodded and left, the salle door swinging shut behind him.

  * * * * *

  Tara spent the next bell exploring the salle. Davad hadn’t said she couldn’t after all. She began to feel sad again. The weapons practice had been sore but fun but such bells couldn’t, wouldn’t last forever. Soon she would have to go home and her time here at the Stronghold would become a fading memory.

  * * * * *

  It was sunset when a panting Kolyei arrived at the outskirts of the township of Vada.

  Now, where is she?

  The emotive emissions were less strong than the day before but they were still there. Using his innate ability Kolyei opened his mind and let their thread lead him to her.

  * * * * *

  Tara was eating a meal with Davad in the Lazy Lind. He had realised that eating in the almost deserted cookhouse in the Stronghold would be bound to upset her so he had invited her to dine with him.

  “It’s a great eating house,” he had described it.

  “I’m not that hungry,” Tara had said but he had insisted.

  “Not good not to eat. Come.”

  So Tara had.

  Now she was sitting in a comfortable chair in front of a scarred but well polished table, eating a slice of spicy kura roast with roots and salad. There would be greenfruit and cream to follow she knew. She had heard Davad had ordered it.

  She was surprised at herself for actually being hungry and eating but supposed that her exertions in the salle had whetted her appetite.

  She was drinking her gingrootbeer when she felt the jolt.

  She stopped drinking and looked around, not understanding.

  She felt the jolt in her mind again and she snuck a look at Da
vad. He was talking to the chef and it was obvious they had a lot to talk about. Neither man was paying any attention to Tara.

  It’s as if my mind is expanding! She was staring at her plate. All of a sudden she no longer felt in the least bit like eating any more.

  * * * * *

  Kolyei sauntered in the direction of the Lazy Lind. The streets were emptier that when he had been here before but he had expected that. The last, long wagon train had gone. The few people he did meet greeted him with a quiet courtesy mixed with sadness. There were so few Lind left and very soon there would be none.

  Eight hundred and six years the Vada had lived here.

  Even the children Kolyei met were quiet.

  He padded through the streets, following the emotive beckoning. He knew he was close.

  He stopped at last and looked up at the sign which read the Lazy Lind. Kolyei could not read but he new the building for what it was when he sniffed at the air. He smelt the stale beer-spills, his nostrils wrinkled then his tail began wagging as he recognised the aroma of well cooked food.

  Now he began to push the awareness of his inner self out, a chela length at a time. There was no point scaring her out of her skin. His awareness entered through the door and began to range round the room as he sought the mind contact.

  There, there it was. He homed in on Tara and latched on.

  * * * * *

  Tara felt his mind enter hers. Her eyes opened so wide that Davad later said he thought they would pop out of their sockets.

  : Tara : ‘said’ the awareness and Tara knew in that instant that nothing would ever be the same again.

  “Tara?” queried Davad with concern, “what’s wrong?”

  She didn’t answer, she couldn’t, the words refused to form.

  : Tara : Kolyei telepathed : come with me :

  In a daze Tara pushed her body up until she was standing.

  “I have to go,” she told Davad, “you understand, don’t you?”

  Davad did. He may not have experienced a vadeln-pairing personally but he knew this dazed look of old. He had after all spent the best years of his life amongst vadeln.

  “He is outside?” he whispered.

  Tara’s face broke into a smile of pure, undiluted joy. He described it later like it was as if the sun had come out after a month behind clouds.

  “Go to him Tara and Lai bless you,” he said. “Take him back to your cubicle. I’ll let Susa Malkum know. It’s a pity, for me, I’d have liked to have kept you on as a pupil. We of Vadath will have great need of good warriors in the years ahead of us but go. What is his name?”

  Tara thought about that. Helpfully, Kolyei supplied the information.

  “Kolyei,” she answered, “his name is Kolyei.”

  Davad half led her towards the door, she was unsteady on her feet; he opened it and pushed her with gentle hands outside.

  * * * * *

  And so it was that to Davad Talanson went the honour of being present as the last ever vadeln-pairing was accomplished.

  Tears came to his eyes as he watched Tara put her arms round Kolyei. He kept watching as the two of them, Tara holding on to Kolyei’s neck ruff as if she would never let it go, turned and began walking away.

  Tara would not be staying in Vadath. She would leave with the last.

  No more tears.

  He was full to the brim with satisfaction as he closed the door and asked for his bill.

  Davad Talanson felt so special and privileged in that moment that someone could have told him he was a hundred feet tall and he would have believed it.

  * * * * *

  -61-

  THE STRONGHOLD OF THE VADA - VADATH

  Tara sat at the desk in her cubicle sucking the end of her pen.

  What should she say? What could she say? How did a daughter explain to her parents that she wouldn’t be coming home, not ever? How did she say that she wouldn’t even be living on the same planet as they were?

  “Don’t belabour the issue,” Davad had advised when she had asked his advice. “Stick to the facts and write them down. You can write, can’t you?”

  “Yes I can write,” she had answered, “but saying what I want to say is so horribly difficult.”

  “Keep it simple, tell them you’ll always love them and leave it there. They’ll hear all about it all soon enough.”

  Tara sighed, dipped her nib into the inkwell and began.

  ‘Dearest Father and Mother’, she wrote, ‘when you get this I will be gone. Sorry I didn’t say goodbye when I left but when you get this I hope you’ll understand. I had to go. It’s not that I don’t love you both, I do. I will miss you, I promise and I’ll not let Thalia and Hal forget you either. It’s not that I didn’t want the life you’d planned for me, it was just. Well, it wasn’t enough.

  Davad Talanson, he’s a Weaponsmaster here at Vada, except that he’s retired now says too that my name will be very famous soon because he thinks I am the last ever human to bond with a Lind here, especially because of my name and also the weird co-incidence that the name of my Lind is Kolyei! Tare and Kolyei were the first ever to life-bond.

  Kolyei is lying beside me now, watching as I write this letter. I don’t even need to read it to him, he already knows what I’m writing.

  I’m sad because I won’t ever see you again but as well as that I’m happier than I have ever been.

  I’m sorry if you were worried when I disappeared that night but I was frightened to tell you in case you tried to stop me. This letter is developing into a bit of a scramble. I’m sorry about that too but there’s no time for me to sort out. I’m just putting the words down as they come to me.

  As I said, I’m very happy so you mustn’t fret about me.

  Kolyei and I are leaving the Stronghold first thing tomorrow morning. We’re leaving with the Susa and the last Ryzcks who have been guarding the borders which have been closed.

  We’re going on a spaceship, just like our ancestors did when they came here. Me and Kolyei, sorry, Kolyei and I have been told that it is a very large one. It’s already here actually, about a half day’s travel away and we’ll be among the very last to board. Kolyei’s rtathen (that’s his pack-mates) are waiting for us on it. I think there are other spaceships waiting too, in the Rtathlians of the Lind and to the north and even in the southern continent.

  Now, you mustn’t worry about me. Kolyei will keep me safe. He sends his love by the way and wishes there had been time for him to meet you.

  We’re going to a simply huge planet too. Susa Malkum showed me pictures, not drawings or paintings but actual exact images of some of the places on it. It looks absolutely amazing! And there will be no bandits or pirates to fight so not danger of what happened to Hal’s Lind ever happening to Kolyei.

  I will miss telling you all about it when we get there but Susa Malkum says we won’t be able to. The planet is a long way away.

  I’m going to have to finish this now. We’re to take all our letters to the Susa’s office so that he can put them in the pile for sending after we’ve gone. No Express Service any more so it might take quite a while to get to you.

  So Mummy and Daddy, this is farewell or in Lindish, Alavidha (I’m beginning to learn Lindish though Kolyei’s Standard is quite good, as he comes from north Vadath). I’ll be keeping up with my studies.

  Alavidha.

  Tara.’

  * * * * *

  -62-

  THE STRONGHOLD OF THE VADA – VADATH

  The building stood on its own in the midst of a small garden where in the summer grew hundreds of the sweet smelling dalina flowers. Inside the light was dim. There were celestery windows but they were shuttered most of the time.

  The building was octagonal in shape as was the roof and the interior walls were of varnished wood.

  One of the eight sides held the door. On the other seven walls were boards with names written on them in silver leaf. The names were those of all the Susas who had commanded the Vada.
<
br />   The room said ‘peace’ to all its visitors though its contents were a commemoration of war service.

  On the centre table was set a large book called ‘The Book of the Fallen’. In it were recorded all the names of those who had died performing their duty. It was not the first book that had lain there. The present one was the ninth.

  Beside that book was another, a blue one. It was the ‘Honour Roll’. In it was inscribed all those who had been awarded the Honour Star for bravery in the face of adversity.

  There was also lettering inscribed on the wooden ceiling.

  The letters read, ‘Truth … Duty … Courage … Honour.’

  It was the Vada motto.

  * * * * *

  Susa Malkum picked up his pen and opened the book.

  This was the current volume of what was known as the Vada Roll, the list of all the vadeln-pairs who had joined and served with the Vada.

  He wrote down the final two names.

  Tara Josensdochter and Kolyei of Rtath Lindya

  It is fitting.

  Tara Sullivan and Kolyei of Rtath Afanasei had been the first two names entered; in volume one; eight hundred and six years ago.

  So many had served throughout the centuries, so many had lived, fought and died to protect the freedom of those they loved and even those they did not.

  He closed the book and laid it with the others on the shelf. He would add the final names to the copies that had already gone later. It was right that the originals should remain here, on the planet where the vadeln-pairs had fought and died.