Breaking Old Habits

by Melissa Bender

  “Sweetheart, I know I’m above average, but there’s no way I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand back, but he reached for it again.

  “I like that I’m the only man to ever be inside you… to make you come.”

  “I like that too.” I smiled, then a dreadful feeling went through me, kind of like guilt. “Harvey kissed me.”

  “What?”

  Yeah, I should have mentioned that earlier.

  “I didn’t kiss him, just so you know. I made my feelings very clear that I wasn’t into him.” I sighed. “Actually, that’s a lie. I thought that maybe you had moved on, and well, I went to take him up on his offer to move in and maybe start dating.”

  He did not say anything and just lay back and stared, watching the ceiling in the darkness. When he finally spoke, he was not yelling, but I knew he was fighting to stay calm. “When did he kiss you?”

  “The night before I lost the baby.”

  “Four, five days after we’d taken a break?”

  Baby, we’d broken up.

  “How did he kiss you? What did you say? Where did he sleep?”

  So many questions. I sat up and leant over him. “He slept in the spare room, and honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t want it.” That did not offer him any comfort. “Want me to show you?” I offered.

  Raising a brow, he smirked. “Please do.”

  “You can’t kiss me back. Keep your lips still.” I leant further forwards, cupping his cheek and pressing my lips to his the same way Harvey had done. When I pulled away, he looked at me and burst out into laugher. “What?”

  “Ayla, you’re fucking kidding me. That was a peck, not even a kiss. I think I’ll let that slide, but from now on, if he even looks at you the wrong way, and I’ll lose my shit with him.” He sat up, splaying his hand over my stomach. “Now, I’m going to show you how a real man kisses the girl he loves.”

  “You’re up for that? Again?” I asked, with a wicked grin.

  Oh, he was more than ready. He was close, and his balls were heavy as they slapped against my ass. My tits bounced with each thrust. I raised my hips up, creating a faster friction against him. He once again brought me to orgasm, and I came clutching his arms. Our eyes locked in on each other, and I knew he was seconds away from blowing.

  “Pull out.”

  His voice strained. “I will.” He promised. He would not forget not to.

  His thrusts grew faster, and the head of the bed banged into the wall behind us. Oh, shit. He was fucking me, restraining me with his strong arms. He pinned my arms above my head and wrapped his other hand around my throat, squeezing gently. I could not move. I was crying out—sore, tender, and craving more. I did not need to guide him; my moans told him where to take me.

  He took me to a blinding white place of pure heaven.

  My eyes fluttered open, and I tried to talk. Instead, whimpers mixed with a jumble of words came out. I could not form a sentence.

  “Griffin… pull out…” I grabbed his hip with my free hand, digging my fingers into it. I was trying to slow his thrusts down, but he kept pounding. We were pelvis to pelvis, animalistic—raw. His fingers gripped mine as he fucked me… until his cock twitched and pushed even deeper with three strong thrusts. His cock pulsed, spilling his fluid in satisfaction.

  He came inside me unprotected with one hell of a guttural groan.

  Oh, god. He was going to realise soon once the glory winds down and realise that he well and truly just fucked himself into the direction he did not want.

  His ragged breathing calmed down after a few seconds. “I love you.”

  “You came in me.” I felt the need to state it very obvious.

  “I love you,” he repeated, ignoring me as he pushed himself up on both hands, hoovering above me. He looked worried. “You didn’t enjoy that? You look annoyed.”

  Of course, I enjoyed it, moron! “You know I did, but I told you I wasn’t on any birth control, and you got carried away, then came.”

  “It was one hell of an orgasm.”

  I groaned with frustration. “Griffin.”

  “Ayla.” He mocked back with a laugh. “Did you not come? Three times? You want a fourth? Shit. I’ll fix that for you now.”

  He went to move, and I tightened my thighs around him to make him stop. “We just had unprotected sex.”

  His strong jaw tensed, and he leant down. Keeping his weight off my body, he spoke, “Our love is the type of love you don’t just throw away. You fight for it, and I’m fighting, Ayla. I’m fucking fighting for it, for us. For everything you want, I want that too.”

  I had not expected it, but he was not mad at himself or me. He seemed normal, unfazed, and not bothered in the slightest.

  He was gazing into my eyes. Each word that came out was like a promise, a promise of a new path for us both, a different direction of a future, a future I had dreamed of with him: marriage and babies.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “I have a question.” I said to him as I lay naked in his arms, my fingers playing with his light spread of fine chest hair.

  We have done nothing but lie there and talk after our love making. Both exhausted and slick with sweat, we tangled our legs and stole little kisses in between conversation. I could not stop touching his face. It was so soft and silky, smooth and clean. I could not believe he had a face underneath all that wire of hair before.

  He had told me about the microwave dinners he had tried cooking for the boys, forgetting to peel off the foil wrapping, and then needing to buy a new microwave after it blew up.

  I laughed. It felt so good.

  It felt wonderful to lie in his arms and just feel happy again.

  We talked more about Harvey and Karen, his plan to have the boys on a more permanent basis, and even of a weekend away to his parents. He was really trying. I could not wait to tell people we were engaged. However, I was not too sure if people would be impressed that Griffin had proposed on the bathtub floor in a seedy motel room, where we then proceeded to have some dirty, horny sex. Oh, well.

  He stroked my hair softly. “What’s that, pretty?” I loved when he called me that. It was more personal.

  “If you were at the bar tonight, and Karen too… where are the boys?”

  His answer was not immediate, but it was as if the wheels in his head began to turn, realising that they were both out without the kids. “That’s a good question. She was meant to have them tonight.”

  “She’s been at the bar every night this past week.” My hand paused. “She wouldn’t leave them alone, would she?”

  “She’s had the kids every night. I’ve been flat out at work. I kind of threw myself into it.” He sat up, searching around for something and then sighed. “I left my phone at the house. I can’t call them.”

  I looked at him cautiously, knowing that he was beginning to worry. I had to put aside my bitter feud with that woman and do this for him. “Do you want to go back there?” I asked.

  He turned to me, raising a brow. “You hate that house if I remember correctly.”

  Point taken. “You know why.” The ogre from across the road was the reason why. “But we’re technically engaged.” Things will be different this time.

  “There’s no technical about it, pretty. We are engaged.” He lay back down, pulling the blanket over us both. “Let’s get some sleep. There’s nothing much we can do at four am, anyway.”

  “It’s that early?” Time went by fast. I liked this bubble that we were in, just us.

  His arm slid underneath the pillow my head laid on as he turned to his side, pulling me flush against his front. My back was to his front, and my ass was against his groin. Both of us were very naked. “I don’t want to sleep.”

  “Me either,” he whispered back, and I turned in his arms again.

  “You’re not going to regret it, will you?” I asked timidly.

  “No.” He knew what I was referring to.

 
; I closed my heavy eyes as I lay against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat underneath my ear. Today, last night... It was hitting me all of a sudden. I was utterly exhausted. “You didn’t pull out.”

  “I was going to,” he said, brushing his lips against my forehead. “But then I couldn’t stop picturing you pregnant and how beautiful you’d look.”

  “Mmm.” I smiled. I liked that. I really liked that a lot. “Promise you won’t change your mind when I wake up?” I was afraid it was all just a big dream.

  “Promise. Now go to sleep.”

  Peeking through one open eye up at him, I tilted my head back and held him tighter. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I fell into a deep, completely sated sleep. Nothing felt so good to lie here, completely relaxed and at peace. It felt as though all my previous worries were vanishing away. We had grown so much in the time we spent apart, and I was not the only one who suffered. He suffered too in his own way. I can only hope that from here on out, we grow and take the steps forward to keep our relationship strong.

  ***

  My body was not awake yet. It wanted to stay asleep, but someone had other ideas.

  “Wake up. We’ve got to get up.”

  “No…” I moaned, not wanting to move. “Sleeping… Too tired..” I was so not a morning person especially when I did not have coffee around.

  “It’s almost check out. Come, and you can sleep back at the house.”

  My eyes flung open but closed again. I was trying to force myself to wake up. This happened at least four times. Each time, Griffin was still in the same spot, watching me.

  Trying to pull the cover up to just below my chin, I gave a little pout. “I don’t want to get out. I’m nice and snuggly.”

  “And here I thought you were excited to see this ring I’ve brought you. Very well. I’ll go pay for another night then.”

  “No.” I was up. “I’m getting dressed.” I was not moving, just grinning at him. “I want to see the ring.”

  We beat check out by three minutes. Griffin drove us back to his house—our old home together. I had spent the drive staring into the mirror, looking at the awful bruising forming around the top of my cheeks and underneath my eyes. Thank god I was a girl who had concealer at home.

  She was not out the front when he pulled up, and when we walked up to the front door, she still was not outside. That was new. Maybe she did not feel the need to pry on him because she assumed we were still broken up and over.

  Oh, if only she knew.

  Standing in the living room where we had had our last huge fight, a flood of memories surfaced again, and I swallowed, trying to pry them away. This was a clean start. We were starting over. We were both on the same page.

  “You okay?” His arms slid around my waist, pulling me back against his chest.

  Nodding, I rested my head underneath his chin. “I am. Tired, but I’m ok.”

  “Let’s get you back to bed.”

  Without warning, he picked me up and carried me down to the bedroom. Everything was the same here. Nothing had changed except for me. I moved out and was gone for a while. Other than that, there was no sign of us ever living together or a girl being in the house.

  Once I sat down on the edge of the bed, I smiled, watching as he walked towards his bedside table and pulled open his drawer. Searching around, I noticed a bottle of lube being taken out. He reached further in and pulled out something else.

  A red velvet box.

  Turning towards me, he paused, looking clueless. “Now? Or do you want me to propose again? Maybe over dinner? Romance… I should do it that way.”

  I stood, my smile not once faltering. “Griffin, put the ring on my finger before I go crazy waiting. You proposed perfectly.” I did not want him to ask me any another way. The way he did it in the shower... it was perfect, full of emotion and so him.

  The lid on the box opened, and I began to feel nervous. My eyes dropped down, and I felt every ounce of emotion I carried spring to life as he began to take out the ring with his large fingers.

  “Hold out your hand,” he whispered. His voice was showing his nerves. “If you don’t like it, we can take it back. You don’t wear rings, and we’d never really spoken about them. I didn’t know what you would like, so I just went for pretty and expensive, and I remember you wanted sparkles.” Sitting the box back on the dresser, he reached for my hand and slid the ring onto my finger.

  Perfect fit.

  Perfect ring.

  Perfect man.

  “I love it.” It was stunning: rose gold, pear-shaped, and covered with little glistening diamonds. “You chose really well.”

  “Are you sure? Tell me if you don’t like it, though. You said white gold, but I liked this one.”

  “Oh, I definitely love it.”

  A squeal escaped my throat as I held my hand up and wiggled my fingers, making it sparkle even more. My arms flew around him, and he picked me up and carried me back to the bed.

  “I can’t wait to marry you.” I could not wait.

  He grinned back. “Me either. Now, I want to fuck you wearing only that ring.”

  I laughed at that. With my back securely on the bed, he began tugging down my jeans and throwing them on the floor. “I want to see how good my ring looks as I’m holding your cock in my hand. Up here, baby!”

  His cock looked amazing.

  ***

  I called my parents, letting them know that I was alive and safe. I left out the staying with Griffin part, which was a conversation for when we are in person. I could not spring it on them over the phone. There was also our engagement, but I wanted to tell them that in person too.

  Standing in the kitchen wearing a shirt of Griffin’s and none underneath, he walked in as mum was talking about some cake she made that did not rise. Mid-conversation, my fiancé walked in wearing just a pair of tight boxers, and I looked up then back down. He was rock hard, again.

  Arousal was taking over me as he came at me like a predator, pushing his body against my ass. His hands were starting to slide underneath his shirt. I had to end the call now. “Umm… Mum, I’ve got to go.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay, honey?” she asked. Jesus, yes. More than freaking okay.

  “Promise, I’ll see you both later.”

  Ending the call and placing my phone back on the bench, I leant forwards as he ran his hard length up between my folds and slammed inside me. We both cried out in pleasure.

  “Your mum… you told her?” he asked, easing back out again.

  Don’t stop. “No.. I have to go back later today.”

  Only the head of him was inside me, so I tried to move backwards, wanting to engulf him completely, but he would not let me. “You’re going back?”

  “Mmm… Please, can we discuss this when I’m not twenty seconds away from coming?”

  His hot breath blew against my ear. “Move back in. I can’t stand being away from you any longer.”

  “Griffin…” I don’t want to live here. “It’s just...”

  “Fuck me.” A deep thrust, and his cock was buried to the hilt. “We’ll move.”

  And that was how we decided to move and buy a house together.

  I was sore and tired, and my thighs were killing me. We had fucked, fucked, and fucked some more. I was absolutely fucked and literally unable to move. I passed out once we had our second shower for the day, and did not wake up again until his room was dark, and it was quiet.

  Wandering into the living room, I saw him sitting on the couch with his legs propped up on the ottoman, cradling a laptop on his lap. Thank god. I could not do another round. My legs ached too much.

  “Hey, you.” I smiled, still half asleep. I took my spot beside him.

  “Slept well?” he asked, turning to place a kiss on my forehead.

  “Mm, I did. When did you get up?” I never heard or felt him move.

  “Under an hour ago. I ordered some Chinese for us a
nd then thought I would reply to emails before you wake up and drag me back to bed.” He smiled.

  Chinese. Yum. “I’m starving, and maybe we could look at houses?”

  Eying me, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around my shoulder. “Ayla, you do know what I do for a living, right? Why don’t we look at styles and build?”

  “I work in a café; I can’t afford to build a mansion.” I pointed out. He knew this already.

  “Stop worrying about the price and just look. You might see something you like. There is a lot of nice houses to design that doesn’t cost a fortune.”

  Easy for him to say. “I’m only worrying, because—”

  Sighing, he went back to his laptop search. “You’re not like her. So stop thinking you are and get the door. Dinner’s here.”

  I laughed. “How do you know that?” I asked just as there was a knock on the door. Dragging myself back up, I called out and walked around the couch to the front door. “Fine. Make sure there’s a walk-in pantry, and I want an en-suite for us with a huge bathtub!” If he wanted a list, I’d give him a list.

  “Money’s in my wallet,” he added.

  My head bowed, searching through his wallet for a fifty as I pulled open the door. I went to hand it over—until my eyes locked with the ‘delivery man.’ It wasn’t a man, nor was it our Chinese. She looked surprised to see me and shot me a glare. This would be interesting to see.

  “Griffin,” I called out. My nose could not handle another hit. “It’s for you.”

  “What?” he asked and peered his head over the couch. “Shit. Karen, what are you doing here?” He was up and off the couch in seconds, heading to us at the door.

  “I… I… Oh, I came to talk about the custody arrangements.”

  She was not here for that; I could tell.

  “Now isn’t a good time,” he replied. “We’re about to eat.”

  Speaking of food, the delivery guy turned up. About time. She moved aside as the young guy handed us two bags of food, and I eyed Griffin. How much food do you think we’re going to eat? He shrugged and took the bags as I handed the money.