Sleep did not come as fast as I hoped it would. I was exhausted and lying in Griffin's arms as he slept soundly beside me. I felt drained, emotionally and physically. A headache was starting to come on. My nerves were tense.
Beginning to worry, I laid there and felt sick. What if this does not go the way his lawyer promised? My stomach churned at the thought of Karen indeed striking a deal and getting off. Griffin’s parents could get involved. Maybe they would take her side.
Oh, god. My stomach rolled again, and I sat up with my hand clasping over my mouth. “Griffin.”
“Mmm?” he mumbled, rolling over to his side. “I’m not snoring.”
“No.” I felt sick with worry. “What if this all goes wrong? What if the judge… What if you go to jail?” God, that was a real possibility. He could go to prison for his racing.
He turned the bedside lamp on, but I was already out of bed and rushing to the bathroom. I broke into cold sweat with tears in my eyes as I fell to my knees and threw up hard.
“Ayla.”
I felt a hand slowly rubbing against my lower back, but I could not talk. I just threw up again. I was afraid of losing him. I could not lose this man.
I turned around as I wiped my chin and mouth with the back of my hand and shook my head. “I can’t live without you.”
Crouching down, he sighed and pulled me onto his lap. I was a sick mess, yet he was not bothered. True love right here. “Pretty, you’re not going to lose me. We’re going to be just fine. I promise.”
“I’m scared.
“Me too. Me too, Ayla.”
A hot shower and I felt somewhat better, but the queasiness did not ease up until the next morning when the phone call came in, and Griffin pulled me aside. We had gotten immediate full custody, and Karen was being charged with numerous child abuse offences. She had failed to provide a safe environment for them. After the police took her into custody, they searched her home and found traces of ice and other drugs throughout the house.
The next step was to tell the boys that they would not be going back home with her. They were with us indefinitely and completely with the custody finalised. We would tell them after Griffin comes to terms with everything that had happened this past evening.
“Do you want to go away?” I suggested. Maybe that camping trip could help.
“I feel like getting back into the tattoo chair.”
“Let me tattoo something on you?” I suggested, really wanting to have a go at it.
He cocked his brow, smirking. “I don’t want a flower or something girly.”
I laughed, flicking him with the tea towel. “No, silly. I’ll make it cool.”
“Cool, huh?” He seemed to think about it. “Alright, then. I’ll set the gun up later today, and you can give me some ink. Where do you want to work on me?”
A glanced at his groin, and he shook his head. I laughed. “Kidding. Maybe on your wrist? Under your watch band?”
“Ah, I know what you’re going to put on there.”
“My name.” I nodded.
“I’ve already got that over my heart. Why do you want it there too?”
“Baby, if I could, I’d have my name all over your body for the world to see.” I would, too.
***
After breakfast dishes, I took another shower as my headache had come back on. It was driving me mad. I felt like death and put it down to the night of stress we had endured. In other words, I was blaming Karen for the hell my head was in right now.
Drying off, I pulled open my draw to moisturise my face and glanced at the blue box. It was taunting me. Pee on me, and you’ll see you’re not pregnant, it seemed to say just like last month and the month before that. I don’t know why I could not just wait until I was like a month late. Call it eagerness, but I pulled out the Clearblue pregnancy box and unwrapped the two sticks inside. I did not trust the normal tests. I needed to read the word pregnant or not pregnant. Otherwise, I would just be searching for two little lines that weren’t there but my mind was imagining.
I waited and waited, and then the word flashed up on the screen.
My heart dropped as did the tests in my hand. Quickly tossing the box in the bottom of the small bin, I took the tests and shoved them in my underwear drawer, not wanting Griffin to see that I craved and took them.
All three of them were playing on the Xbox One when I found them in Toby’s room. “Are you boys hungry for some lunch?”
“Dad said we can go out and get a huge burger.”
I smiled, leaning against the door. “Oh, yum. Can I join or is this a boys only lunch?”
“You can come. Mum’s the exception.” Mack smiled warmly.
“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe I want to spend the day at home playing the Xbox once you all leave. I could totally beat your high scores.”
All three looked at me mortified. “No, please don’t!” Toby begged.
“Yes, not again!” Mack groaned.
Griffin laughed. “Yeah, you erased like twenty gig of saved games. They’ve only just got back to where you erased it all.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “I didn’t erase anything. It asked me if I wanted to format the device. How was I meant to know that it’d delete it all?”
“Formatting is erasing, Mum.” Toby laughed, rolling onto his back and cracking up at me hysterically.
I pretended to be annoyed and scrunched my face up. “Fine. I won’t touch anything. I’m coming with you now. Screw your boy’s trip out. I’m tagging along, and you can watch me kiss your dad in public.”
“Eww. Gross.”
I just laughed. They made me smile so freaking hard at times.
***
Lunch was amazing and delicious. We had a great time. I did not know why, but when Griffin gave me that look, I had to wonder why on earth he was going to tell them about their mother here—in public and over lunch. Maybe because they looked so happy.
“I need to tell you boys something. Just don’t go screaming at us or anything, okay?”
Then I realised he was doing it in public because he was nervous. He worried that they would not be happy about this new move and that they would probably hate him. I reached over, squeezing his thigh to give him support.
They looked at us, and Toby frowned. “You’re not breaking up, are you?”
“God, no. He can’t get rid of me that easily.” I snorted. “Like I’d ever leave your dad, anyway. He’s got lots of money.”
Griffin laughed, shaking his head. “Thanks, Ayla. Glad to know that’s the big thing you like most about me.”
“Not the only big thing I love,” I whispered with my hand playfully moving closer to his groin region. He stopped me by taking my hand in his and lifting it, placing a kiss.
“Your mother has been arrested. There’s a good chance she’s going to jail,” he told them in a shaky voice.
All humour was gone. Mack just looked at him. “How long for?”
“No less than five years. There were some other things that has become known, and she’s in a lot of trouble.” Drugs. “She didn’t fight the charges and has admitted to everything.”
Toby nodded, picking up his burger. “I don’t want to see her ever again. I hate the bitch.”
Griffin sighed. “You can’t say that.”
“Me, too!” Mack added. “I don’t want to go anywhere near her again.”
“Do we get to stay with you still?” Toby asked as if that part had not been made clear.
I reached over with my free hand and squeezed his forearm gently. “Of course, you are. We wouldn’t have you live anywhere else.”
“Ayla’s right. It’s just going to be the four of us from now on.” Griffin assured them but then seemed to realise his choice of words. “No matter what, you boys will always have a home here with us. If you don’t want to see her again, then I won’t push you to do so. It’s your choice, but at home, we have rules and expect you to follow them. Ayla’s not going to be pushed around, and
you have to treat her—”
“Dad, we know this already.” Toby rolled his eyes. “She’s our mum. We love her.”
“Duh.” Mack retorted.
I could not help but get in on it too. “Yeah, Griffin, duh.”
“Cheeky,” he leant in, ignoring the boy's groans of displeasure at the sight of us having a quick kiss. It was nothing over the top, but it definitely left me wanting more. That would come later once the boys are in bed and fast asleep… after I give him the best tattoo he would ever receive.
***
Griffin sat back down on the sofa in the shed after cleaning himself up as I straddled his lap again, taking hold of his hand tighter and getting a firmer grip on him. The gun was in my other hand, and I felt nervous but excited.
“You know, we could have done this when you were riding my cock.”
“I wouldn’t be able to focus.” I smiled, trying to concentrate as his fingers slipped into the fabric of my panties. “Stop it.”
“Like you told me to stop it half an hour ago? You begged for it.” His voice was once again husky.
I pried his hand away from slipping into my underwear. “Stop it. You distracted me.”
“I could distract you once again,” he said, trying to pout. “Fine, I give up, but I want you afterwards. You’re really sexy holding that in your hand.”
I raised a brow. “Hmm, that’s exactly what I thought when you first inked me. Maybe that’s why I slept with you again.”
He laughed as he leant forwards and kissed my nose. “Thanks pretty. I love you, too.”
“Close your eyes.” I urged him. “I need to focus, please.”
He smiled an adorable grin but complied with my request. “Don’t you dare draw a cock in there.”
I laughed. “We’ll, there goes my surprise.” One eye opened, and he just shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’m not. It’s not going to say Ayla, though.”
“No?” He seemed confused, and I just shrugged. I could not ruin the surprise.
The ink hit his skin, and of course, he faked a huge scream which scared me and almost had me falling off his lap. I could have injured us both with that. My heartbeat returned to normal once he promised to never do that again.
It took me a little longer. I was scared to go in too deep and hit some vein. He had told me about that once—blood everywhere and a man passed out on his floor. Not the image I would enjoy having in our shed.
“Okay. It’s finished now.” I set the gun back and admired my work of art on his left wrist.
Opening his eyes up, he lifted his wrist up and looked at it.
1+1=3
He stared at with a confused expression, scanning his eyes over the letters I had inked there. “I don’t get it. Isn’t it meant to be two? Not three?”
My smile did not falter. “Griffin, think about it. Really think about it. In this room, there’s you, me and…” I lingered the huge hint in the air for him.
His eyes widened, and his mouth parted in a half-smile as he darted those blue orbs of his between us, directly on my stomach. “No…” I almost did not hear his gasp.
“Yes.”
“Say it,” he begged in a soft, pleading whisper.
“Best tattoo ever,” I said through laughter.
Glaring at me, his hands slid to my hips and held me tight. “Yes, but not what I meant. Say it, Ayla.”
“I’m pregnant.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“It’s so small.”
“Tiny.”
“Like, that is really, really small, Ayla.”
Smiling hard, I fought to keep my mouth shut and inner thoughts clean right now. Just a subtle yep was all that was needed.
“That’s your baby, growing healthy for eight weeks.” The doctor pulled us out of our battle over how little the baby is. “How have you been feeling?” he asked.
Griffin did not let me have a word in. It was obvious how excited he really was about the pregnancy. “She’s been sick, a lot. Like pulled-over-twice-on-the-drive-here sick.”
“I’m fine.” He was making me out worse than I really was. “It’s just morning sickness.”
“She’s throwing up all day and night. Is that normal?” Griffin asked, ignoring me.
The doctor nodded, straightening his glasses back up. “Of course, some women experience morning sickness that lasts all day. It should start to fade towards the second trimester. Just make sure you keep your fluid intake up, and once again, if there’s any sign of cramping of bleeding, please call my office immediately, just in case.” Just in case lose another baby. “Other than that, you’re good to leave.”
As happy as I was, I was also terrified, constantly worrying that maybe I would lose this baby at any moment. It was a normal thought, so Griffin kept trying to tell me as he comforted me. It may be normal, but it still scared the shit out of me.
Paying the bill, we made our way back to the car hand in hand. Griffin silently beamed beside me as I looked up, and I wanted to shake my head and laugh. It was pretty cute. He was really happy. I had not seen him this happy since I married him.
After all the shit that has happened lately, he could be as happy as he wanted. Hell, I was on cloud nine and ready to shout it from the rooftops that I had his baby growing in my tummy.
A slight breeze picked up and blew my hair around. Letting his hand go, I tied it up. His hand did not move and only went to my ass as we kept walking to the car. He closed the car door, and I could have just burst into tears when he pulled out our ultrasound picture and stared in awe at it.
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
“I know.” I was pretty damn excited myself. “I can’t believe I’m eight weeks. I thought probably four or five.”
He looked up, giving me an adoring smile as he gazed at me. Reaching his hand up, he cupped my cheek. “Yeah, considering you only took a test a week ago, I have to agree.”
One week ago, I had shocked the hell out of him with that tattoo. There was not just him and me in the shed; There was also a little baby inside me, making it the three of us. Too bad if it turned out to be nothing, and I had just inked that on Griffin’s wrist for the hell of it.
Luckily, I was pregnant, and our baby was going strong.
“When do you want to tell the boys?”
We had not really talked about that much. I did not want to throw too much at them at once. I was not sure how they would take the news that they were going to be big brothers to a baby fifteen years younger than them. Oh, god, what an age difference.
“How about tonight once they get back from school? We can have a family dinner?” He suggested, dropping his hand and starting the car up.
“What if they get mad? Maybe they’ll hate the idea.” I asked, almost afraid of their reactions.
“I doubt that. Mack will probably be more excited than Toby. Toby will just be grossed out knowing we had sex.” He went to pull out but hit the brakes and pointed. “Is that Harvey?”
My nausea picked up again as I looked to where he pointed. There he stood with a woman beside him—a heavily pregnant woman who, of course, was all sorts of beautiful. He looked happy, but in a way, he looked different. His hair was much longer, and the piercings were gone from his face. There was no facial hair or tats showing. He looked, well… not like the guy I knew.
A pang hit my chest. It was no jealousy that I felt. It was hurt for the friendship lost between us. I felt as if he only wanted me when Griffin was treating me badly. Then when Griffin came back, I was pretty much dropped for the new woman—the woman he was in love with.
“Are you okay?” Griffin asked, giving my thigh a rub.
I nodded. I really was okay. “Yeah, just wish he did not turn out to be such a dick.” For making a move on me while I was suffering a broken heart.
“I ought to go over there and introduce him to my fist, fucking wanker.” There was no love lost between those two.
I jus
t laughed as he began to reverse once again and drove us home. There were no pit stops needed. I made it just in time to throw up in the kitchen sink.
“Are you okay?” Griffin came rushing over, his hand rubbing my lower back. Yeah, because that was going to help. “Fuck,” he muttered as I threw up once again.
“Water,” I mumbled, between hurls. This really was not fun, but in a way, it soothed me. As long as I was throwing up, I could be eased that my pregnancy was going well.
Cool liquid filled my mouth, and I swallowed, relishing the comfort it gave me. Griffin had not left my side and was all eyes on me. “Do you want to have a lay down?”
“Not really.”
“What about on the couch? I could put a movie on for you?”
I did not feel like watching anything, really. “Maybe just turn the TV on.”
“I’ll get the hard drive and put on Greys?”
He knew me well. “Please.”
“Anything for my pregnant wife.”
Snuggled up on the couch, a water bottle plus a bucket was beside me with a towel in case I needed to throw up again. I swear, he was more concerned about my vomit hitting the new couch than anything else. His body was behind mine, holding me closely.
“Griffin… pause the TV.” I told him, yawning and reaching for my phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, doing so.
“Nothing. I just need to make a phone call.” I could not hold off any longer.
Mum burst into tears when I had called her on the phone. I was going to wait, but in the end, I could not. We would tell others when I was further along, but for now, the kids and my parents were the only ones who would know.
Speaking of the boys, they still did not know. I could not wait to tell them either.
My bladder also could not wait, and I darted off to the bathroom.
I was standing in our bedroom, holding the photograph in my hands and smiling like a dork.
Griffin came up behind me. With a hand, he brushed all my hair from the side, leaving my neck exposed. “Am I allowed to be extremely turned on, knowing that you’re pregnant with my child inside of you?”
Breaking Old Habits Page 27
