I nodded, a soft moan escaping. “Mmm, course you are. Am I allowed to be lazy and not get on top this time?”
I shivered slightly, and my eyes closed on their own accord as I felt his lips against the nape of my neck, trailing soft kisses down that left a tingle of goosebumps right down my spine. “I’ll be gentle.”
“Oh, yeah? Like when you said you’d pull out, and you didn’t?” I laughed, remembering that moment.
He laughed, turning to face me. “I didn’t pull out because I wanted you pregnant, and mission is accomplished. I’m going to go slow because I don’t want to hurt you or our baby.”
Aww, so sweet. “Hate to break it to you, babe, but as big as you are… it kind of isn’t that big, and it’s definitely not going to touch the baby.”
“I know that,” he muttered, shaking his head at me. “I just… I want this baby, Ayla. I really want this.”
As I went to undress, he stopped and reached for my hand. I was confused as he stood in front of me, halting my movements. “Did you not want to? We don’t have to... I’m okay to just cuddle.”
His eyes locked on mine. Taking a step closer, he shook his head. “Let me do this. I want you to feel it, Ayla… feel just how much I love you right now.” Slowly, he began to continue undressing me.
As he promised, I felt it. I felt the love and need he had for me. His mouth took its sweet time bringing me to that glorious O, twice. It felt like forever when he hovered above me. His teasing thrusts filled me with satisfaction as I wrapped my legs around his thighs and locked him in close.
He really did want it gentle, slow, and tender.
Lifting my head up, his arm slipped underneath my neck, and I moved in against his chest. His arm curled around my face, and I traced a finger over his wrist. The tattoo has healed almost completely. “Are you sure you like it?”
“I do.” Pausing, his voice changed, and he was leaning over me once more. “What’s wrong?”
“Why would you think something is wrong?” He knew me well, that was why.
“You keep asking if I like it. Are you not happy with it?”
“I should have added the boys into my calculations. It’s not just us. It’s them, too.” I had been kicking myself about that. “Maybe I could—” My words were cut off by a chaste kiss.
Pulling away, his hand grazed over my temple and down my cheek. “Yes, it would make things five, but pretty, this baby is ours first… just you and me.”
“But it’s not just us. It’s them, too.” I would hate for them to feel neglected and put out just because there was a baby coming along soon.
His chest rose and fell with a deep sigh. “When Karen told me that she was pregnant, I asked her to get rid of it. I’m not proud of that, Ayla.” I did not think I would be either. His admission did not shock me as much as it should have. I understood, in some crazy way.
“You were young.”
“I was too busy getting high and pissed to bother with the check-ups.”
I nodded, not sure what else I could do. “That doesn’t make you a bad father.”
“I told her I didn’t believe her, that I wanted to break up, then went on a boys camping trip.” A mocking laugh rumbled through his chest. “Came back, and she had the pregnancy test and ultrasound out on the table. Realised that, fuck yeah, she’d gotten pregnant, and my life was pretty much over.”
“You’re a wonderful dad to them, Griffin. It’s okay that you were afraid at first. You’ve always put them first. Everything you do is in some way for them, to provide and protect them.” He could not be judged on a thing that happened over a decade ago. He needed to let go and forgive himself.
“Wish I had met you back then.”
“Creeper, I was like four back then. Are you trying to tell me that you want me to call you daddy and ask for a spanking?”
He laughed. I finally got a smile from him. “If I want to spank you, then I will.”
“Shall I bend over?” I suggested, wiggling my brows. “Can I count, or would you like to gag me with my panties?”
“Pretty, I’d rather gag you with my cock, but you’re off oral duties until you stop throwing up.”
I pretended to pout in frustration. In actual fact, I could not be happier. That was the last thing I wanted in my mouth. I knew I would definitely throw up. I could barely stomach brushing my teeth without heaving over the sink and having my eyes water.
“So the tattoo is okay, then?” Time for a change of subject.
“The tattoo is more than okay. This is a baby between us. It’s something you and I created.”
“Oh, when you lasted like ten seconds?” I grinned, brushing my fingers through his hair.
He laughed softly. “I apologised for that. It had been awhile.” His hand splayed out across my naked stomach, rubbing softly as he leaned over my body and smiled down. Looking into my eyes, he went to kiss me, skimming his lips across my jaw and whispering out those three words I adored. “I love you, crazy woman.”
I would show him crazy when I was eight months pregnant and moody. “Crazy woman who’s pregnant with your baby.”
***
Dinner was in the oven, and my nerves were like a tornado inside my stomach. Toby and Mack were sitting at the table waiting to be fed while Griffin was opposite them, asking about their day at school.
“Why are we having dinner early?” Toby asked, drumming his fingers on the table with a yawn. “I have Halo that I wanted to play.”
“You can play after we’ve eaten. We wanted to speak with you both. What’s a better way than when there’s food involved?” Griffin said, smirking as he stood up and made his way to the oven just before the timer went off.
Okay, since when did he ever help with cooking and dinner? He was really outdoing himself with all of this, letting me take it easy. I did not mind, but he better not get me used to it and then all of a sudden ditch the helpfulness.
“Griffin, I can do that.”
“No lifting.”
Oh, god. He could not be serious. “It’s a casserole. Not ten kilos of spuds.” I sighed, giving up and reaching for the ladle to dish the chicken curry over the rice.
“Why can’t Mum lift?” Mack asked, taking his plate once it was ready.
“I can. Dad’s just being ridiculous.”
Sitting down, Griffin cleared his throat. “Ayla’s pregnant. She can’t lift, and I need you boys to make sure she doesn’t pick anything heavy up.”
Both boys, including myself, sat wide-eyed, shocked and staring open-mouthed at Griffin.
“Griffin!” I kicked him in the leg “What happened to easing into this lightly?”
“Ayla, we’re having a baby. There’s no going into this lightly. It’s a good thing.” He smiled, taking my hand and squeezing it gently.
“Gross. You two..” Toby pushed his plate aside, gagging. “That’s just… I can’t even eat knowing you and Dad took a trip to pound town.”
“Pound town?” Griffin looked more impressed than disgusted. “Never heard of that one. May have to take another trip after dinner.”
“Please stop,” Mack begged. “I beg of you.”
I laughed. “Yes, let’s stop, but you still have to eat your food. So sit back down, Toby, and eat.”
Mack cocked his head to the side. “When will the baby be here?”
“Just after Easter next year. Are you okay with that?” I began to feel nervous again. Maybe they were not happy about all of this.
Griffin and I shared a nervous glance. “You do know, that this doesn’t change the way we feel about either of you.”
“Chill, old man,” Toby scoffed. “We get it. We kind of expected it. I mean, Ayla, doesn’t have any kids of her own, and you’re always banging.”
“Do you have an ear at the door? We aren’t always doing that.” I defensibly said, my cheeks burning up.
“No.” He shot back, looking equally embarrassed that I could suggest such a thing. “Just saying that you and
Dad were going to have kids of your own. It’s okay.”
I wanted to believe him. I badly did. “Are you sure?”
Mack grinned. “Yeah, a baby! I bet it’s a girl. I want a sister.”
“Put some money on that, nerd, and you got yourself a bet,” Toby said, smirking. In no time, he and Mack began to bet on whether our baby would be a boy or girl.
“Wait, it could be twins.” I pointed out. “Maybe one’s just hiding.”
The cough of shock beside me was well worth it. Griffin cleared his throat with a glass of water. “Twins?”
I played along. “Sure, I mean, there’s always that chance of one hiding. Two sets of twins could be fun.”
If he weren't shaking his head so fast, I would probably be able to see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “But we saw just one today. He said just one.”
“Dad’s about to have a heart attack.” Toby snickered, and Mack grinned.
Putting him out of his misery, I rubbed his arm. “Don’t look so ecstatic about it. There’s only one. Relax.” Although there were those cases, I thought it was best not to scare him anymore.
“Yeah, not funny,” he muttered, shooting me a glare.
My smile did not falter even once. This was fun. “Aww, I think you’re losing your sense of humour in your old age, baby.”
Mack laughed. “Dad, can you imagine how cool that would be? Two babies.”
“Be fucked if I’m buying a minivan,” Griffin exclaimed. “I refuse to buy one of those, Ayla.”
Oh, this was his concern. “Oh, truth comes out now. Don’t worry. No minivan for us.”
Blowing out a breath of relief, he winked. “Even if we did, you’d be the one driving it.”
I laughed hard. “Afraid you’ll lose your bad boy cred, huh?”
“You know it.”
The boys finally passed out, and that meant we could go to sleep. I did not like going to bed before them. You never know what could happen. Pulling the covers up over our bodies, I yawned, rolling to my side as Griffin turned the lamp off.
“Sweet dreams, baby.” I yawned, half-asleep already.
I felt his lips against the nape of my neck as his arms slid around to their usual place: one underneath my neck and the other around my waist. Only this time, his hand was holding protectively over my belly.
With a whisper, he softly spoke, “Told you they’d be happy.”
Yes. He sure did.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Yawning as I rubbed my growing bump, I managed to open both my eyes and keep them open for a few seconds before they slowly began to close again. This was every morning for me: a struggle to get up and get out of bed to start the day.
Pregnancy had really kicked me in the ass and knocked all the energy out of me these last couple weeks. I blamed Griffin for the size of our daughter. I was going to be pushing out a good-sized baby and tearing my vagina to shreds in the process.
Walking out from his shower, naked and not a care in the world, Griffin shook his head, just laughing. “You know, you don’t have to get up yet. Stay in a little longer.”
“I need to clean, cook, and hide all those sex toys you brought.”
“They’re in the cupboard. No one needs to be in our room, so they’re safely hidden from everyone except us,” he said, pulling on a pair of boxer shorts. “I must say, I’m surprised you were up for that last night.”
I would have rolled my eyes if I were not too tired. “What can I say. I was in a horny mood and just wanted to feel your cock fucking me.” Pushing the covers off, I slowly started to get up, glaring at him. “Just be grateful that you got laid.”
“True. Pussy has been on lockdown lately.” He teased, walking towards me and helping me up out of bed.
I yawned again and flicked his arm in response. “My ass is on lockdown. Trust me, your cock in there is the last thing I feel like.”
He roared in laughter. “I’m just kidding, pretty.”
Doing his usual morning routine of dropping down to both knees and running his hands over my bulging bare stomach, he placed a string of kisses against my skin and talked to our child. It melted me every morning to see this, hearing him reading stories to the baby or just talking about his day and how much he could not wait to meet him or her. He had no idea that the baby was a girl.
I showered, and almost forty minutes later, I was joining the others in the kitchen. Seven months pregnant, I felt like it took me forever to do something as simple as walk from one room to another. I was expecting to see everyone, but it was only Mack inside eating a bowl of cereal.
“Where’s your brother and Dad?” I asked, opening the fridge and pulling out the bacon. I could eat bacon all day long and be a very happy woman.
“Outside, they’re cleaning up the barbie for lunch today.”
That was another thing that had slipped my mind. His parents were joining us for lunch after a surprise trip announcement. They knew I was pregnant; They just did not really comment on it. It was the elephant in the room. It was there, but we didn’t talk about it. It’s sad, really. My parents, on the other hand, could not contain their excitement, and Mum often came to visit with little gifts for her grandchild.
The nursery was almost complete. Actually, it was complete, but I was buying little things online when I had insomnia. Our mailman must love me and my weekly packages.
“Why don’t you see your friend anymore?” he asked, out of the blue as I sat down with my food. “You know, the one Dad hated.”
That took me by surprise. It was hard to keep my shock hidden. I felt the need to point out an actual fact. “He still hates him.”
Mack laughed, nodding. “Yeah, but only because he’s jealous. Did you two have a fight?”
Harvey was not someone who I really felt like talking about. I have pushed it under the rug for so long, trying to forget about him and not care. It was hard, knowing he had become a father to a boy. He never reached out or tried to make contact, so I did not see the point in extending the same branch.
“Harvey moved on. Sometimes, people change and grow apart. It happens. Anyway, enough about that. Is Samuel coming over for lunch too?” I asked. It was normal for his boyfriend to join us. It was not a bother. They had been dating for quite some time, and he was always here.
His eyes widened. “But, Nan will be here.”
Yes, she was not too thrilled knowing that her grandson was dating a dude. “So?”
His voice went quiet. “She won’t be happy.” Griffin’s mother definitely did not like Samuel.
“I don’t care. Invite him. He’s part of the family.”
Being heavily pregnant, my conversations were also limited. Before long, I began to feel puffed out and tired. I hated it. I needed a nap when I had not even started the day. Unfortunately, today was not a day that I could just lay down and rest. I needed to get stuff down and work like a boss around the house.
Pulling out the mop, I scowled as I filled the bucket with hot water and waited. A pair of arms sliding around my waist and a smile took away the annoyance I was feeling.
“You look tired, baby. Go lay down. I’ll do all this.”
Not a chance in hell. “As much as I would love that, I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“Ayla, you’re exhausted. Go rest. You need to rest, remember? The doctor told you to take it easy.”
I hated that he brought that up. At four months, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find blood. I screamed murder. Not quite but almost, and Griffin rushed me to the hospital. I was having a threatened miscarriage. The baby was safe and sound, but there was a small bleed, and it could still lead to me losing it—my worst fear. From then on, Griffin had set me a rule to follow: When I was tired, I rest. Actually, I was to rest all the time and not do much.
It became boring after a while.
“I’m okay to mop.” Turning around in his arms, I pushed my belly against his stomach and rested my head on his chest. “I don’t wan
t her to think I’m lazy.”
“Pretty…” His finger brushed underneath my chin, tilting my head back as he placed his hand over my burgeoning stomach, spreading his fingers out. “You’re close to giving birth. Rest now. It’s an order.”
This time, I rolled my eyes and cocked my head to the side. “I’m only thirty-two weeks or thirty-three, Griffin. I’m good for a couple more months.”
Pulling away, he frowned and looked at me with an odd expression. “Ayla, you’re thirty-eight weeks tomorrow.”
I laughed. He was taking this too far by trying to trick me. I tilted my head back. “No. I’m not, I’m…” I started to work it out in my head and panic seeped in. My breathing increased, and my lips formed an O. “But… No, no…”
“Yes. You’re due at the end of the month. See? You’re so tired, you’re forgetting everything, Ayla.” He was not scolding, just grinning because he was right. “Now, ass on that couch and relax.”
This time, I did listen. I walked in a daze to the living room and sat down on the charcoal sofa. It was big enough to be used as a bed. We wanted a lazy couch, and this was definitely one. Yawning, I tried to get comfortable despite my restless legs. How could I have forgotten my own due date? Closing my eyes, I heard Griffin quietly giving out orders for the boys to clean their room and help tidy up as I slowly drifted to sleep.
***
I jerked awake when I felt a hand against my stomach. “What time is it? Your parents—”
“Are an hour away. Housework is all done, and you can rest up easy.” He leant in, kissing me softly.
“You know,” I smiled, making myself more comfortable. “How about we call the baby by her name?”
“You’ve picked out a unisex name?” he laughed, looking unconvinced. “No offence, but I’m not naming my baby a—Wait, you said she?”
“I found out last week. I’m sorry, the doctor slipped up and said she was growing well.” I grinned. He did not want to know, but I could not help myself.
“A girl,” Griffin said to himself. His eyes were watching me closely in case I was going to tell him I was kidding. I did not, and he broke out into a huge smile. “Well, shit. I think I owe the older kids two fifty bucks each.”
Breaking Old Habits Page 28
