Rebirth

by Valerie Willis

  “Never past a month.” Hotan buried his face in his hands, feeling agonizingly sick. “It’s been over three months since this all started back when I passed out in the church. How many more times have I failed to take heed of the warning signs? How ignorant of me to put everyone at risk and letting my emotions trip me up. I’m so blind…”

  “If imminent danger became of concern, I would have said something sooner, Hotan.” Mr. Piedmont stood up, staring out the window at students running the track. “We all have come to the conclusion that our beloved leader is no more. Talib never told us, but considering what we do know he isn’t with us anymore. For how long? We can’t say, but, I may be able to help you if you’ll let me. We are running out of time, and I can’t help but feel that Geliah will not hold up to his own promises to leave you alone.”

  “Help me?” Pulling his head out of his hands, he stared at Mr. Piedmont’s back. “Do you know something that I can use? How can you help me?”

  “I must apologize. The help I can provide you with is not in terms of having information nor the ability to help you discover what powers that lay dormant.” He turned, his face tight and gaunt. “I can use my power to help you control what abilities you do have, make you more aware of what you do possess thus far. Being the element of the Mind, I can enhance one’s comprehension to beyond the normal limits. I guess that explains why I ended up being a principal of a school. Watching all of the kids explore the world around them and evolve in the way they think, it feels good to me. Ironically, I can say it has helped me regain my strength, my confidence even, in my own abilities.”

  “Your power, the element of the Mind, one of the three elements that make up a person as a whole, right?” Glaring into Mr. Piedmont’s eyes, Hotan realized this was not only his own burden anymore. “How bad of a hit are you going to take to do this? How dangerous is it for you use your power? Are there recoils for using them on another immortal? Have you even done this before?”

  “In the past, the answer to these were no. I may pass out for some time after this, but I do not know what the overall reaction will be for us both.” The old man closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “None of us knows what condition your powers are in, and even though I have helped others, Rebirth has always been much more than our own. In fact, it was powerful enough that Hotan could easily overtake all of us. There was never an instance where any of us ever dare attempt to use our powers towards him, that I know of. I don’t think I ever recalled Hotan using his element against any of us, other than casting the reincarnation spell.”

  “He was that strong.” Rubbing the back of his neck, Hotan attempted to lay the hairs back down as chills trickled across his spine. “Mr. Piedmont. Don’t do this if it will be a risk to your life. I’ve seen Lilly push her limits, and I know it’s a painful ordeal. Rebirth is a power no one but the former Hotan understood, and I can’t promise my own control or understanding of it. My power is about life and death, and-”

  “We need you to figure this out for that reason. You have a strong enough mind and will for it, but you need help getting it on track. I am doing this not only for you or myself; this is for the sake of everyone. The last thing we want is you using your power without knowing and aging someone forward or worse. I know very well this would be one of the many concerns you had weighed over and over in your mind. You’re smart. Causing someone’s untimely death is a possibility with that unstable power you hold.” Mr. Piedmont’s voice shook he continued, “Let me do this. It’s the least I can do for you. You are suffering the most in all of this and I want to do my part to help you. I truly think Hotan did not realize that things would go so sour. He took all the burdens upon himself and gave us centuries of living out normal lives over the centuries. Now it’s my turn to return the favor, and if I can at least help you prevent-”

  “Where do you want to do this at?” Hotan cut him short as he made his decision on the matter, “I don’t think here is a good place for it.”

  “No.” The old man released a chuckle. “Of course not here, goodness. I have talked to Jake. We will go to his office when you are ready. Do you want some time to think about it? There’s no rush.”

  “Let’s do this tonight.” Grabbing up his book bag, he gave a hard look at Mr. Piedmont. “I will meet you at Jake’s office tonight. That will give me time enough to settle my nerves. I can’t afford to delay this any further. And more importantly, thank you.”

  “Thank me when the deed is done.” He sat back into his office chair, exhausted. “Thank me when I’ve done my job.”

  Hotan walked out of the office, firm on the decision he had made.

  I can’t pretend that this whole ordeal is my problem alone. I am only a piece of a much larger puzzle and need to take advantage of any help. Amazing, Mr. Piedmont is one of us. How many more do I already know? Who has already attempted to show themselves to me in hopes that I would remember and recognize them? Never more than a month. A month had gone and passed three times. There was no hiding the fact that something is wrong and they all are very aware of the bitter situation. Talib knows more, but he hasn’t clued anyone on what is going on. Why was he making himself so distant over this? Was he mourning the loss of his brother? How much more complicated could this be? What were he and the others not seeing that Talib was aware of?

  From habit, he found himself walking into the cathedral aiming to clear his head. As he entered, he could hear the distant sounds of school ending for the day. He wasn’t here to see Talib, and he was very relieved to not see him or anyone else. All he wanted was to feel safe for a moment, gather his nerves.

  Tonight is going to be intense. No one knows what kind of outcome will come of Mr. Piedmont’s power. What had volunteered himself for? What was the end goal from this?

  He sat down in the front row, slumping his head back. Staring endlessly at the towering ceilings above, many questions were filling his head. He needed answers, not more riddles. Worse off, Hotan was no more. There were no memories coming to his rescue and worse, Geliah wanted his head. Cassandra was by his side. Poor Callan needs help getting out of there. He could communicate, but obviously, he was being watched.

  The best I can do is blast my own thoughts out like a public service announcement.

  He knew Talib, Piedmont, Jake, Kyle and Lilly were immortals. That left it to nine, including himself.

  No ten, there was Tina too.

  That was half of the Tribe according to the book. There are 20 in total and he had 10 so far as a head count. That wasn’t a bad start, but how many more did he encounter and not realize who they were? Fear, Earth, Metal, Water, Fire, Lust, Mind, Insanity, Judgment and Rebirth were all accounted for.

  Taking in a deep breath he almost missed the old musky smell that previously filled the cathedral. This heavenly place had laid in ruin three months ago, and the mystery of how it looked in its prime solved. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he gazed up at the statue. Today it gave him a stone cold face. No hope, no smile, no frown, no clue of emotion on that face for him. He was starting to indulge in the fact he would see something different in that face. Then again, he was trying to harden his nerves in time for tonight.

  Is that what I see being reflected now? An encouragement to be stone-faced about the ordeal I am about to endure?

  He smirked, silently hoping he could look that regal tonight. The queasy feeling in his gut had not given up.

  “Hey man! You alright?” Kyle was walking down the aisle way towards him. “I was a little worried when you weren’t leaning against the tree.”

  “How long has it been?” Hotan’s jaw tensed as his mind echoed one fact, never pass a month. “How long have you remembered everything, Kyle? You remember who you are, right?”

  “I…” Kyle was silent for quite some time as he stood there, his head low. “I woke up remembering a lot. A day or so after the marking showed up on my back. I, I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to know…”

  “So you’ve had
all your memories back for almost a good three months.” Staring deep into his reflection on the marble floor, Hotan was unsure of how he should feel. My friend has been missing this whole time…

  “Hotan, I’m so sorry.” Kyle’s tone drastically shifted to one that sounded of maturity and experience. It was beyond the point of being out of character for the Kyle he used to know. “I’m still your friend. I didn’t want to take that from you, nor did I want to lose such a wonderful treasure of being your closest friend. You’ve done so much for me...”

  “I’m not that Hotan.” His throat tightened as he fought back the boiling upset that clawed at him. “I’ve done nothing.”

  “I’m not talking about that past.” Kyle’s feet stopped in front of him, but he couldn’t face the stranger that stood before him. “I am talking about all the times you went out of your way to help me. From saving me from being bullied to being a good friend when there wasn’t anyone else for me to go to. I may remember everything, but I’m one of the few who have the pleasure of truly knowing who you are. In my eyes, you’re neither the old Hotan nor a remake of him. You’re the friend I grew up with, someone who cares for those around him. I will never ask you to become anyone other than yourself.”

  “Kyle…” Gathering his nerve he looked up at Kyle. He was shocked to see the tears that streamed down his cheeks, as he stood there solemn faced. “You-”

  “Please understand,” Kyle cut him off as he continued his emotional plea, “I had no intentions of being misleading or deceptive. My aim was to return the friendship you’ve given me. It breaks my heart to see you going through this. Losing your only friend would have left you feeling alone, I know you well.” Kyle rubbed the tears from his face, desperate to maintain what little composure he had. “I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. It’s not fair to you. You’re an infant in the terms of who we are. We mourn losing our leader, but the hardships laid upon you tug at our heart more so, my friend.”

  “I just wish you had let me know.” He felt like he was drowning as he placed his hands on his Kyle’s shoulders. “Thank you. Thank you for caring about being my friend above everything else. You’ve always been the one I felt closest to.”

  “Are you going to take Piedmont up on his offer?” The words that fell from Kyle’s lips were awkward to Hotan’s ears. The tone, accent, and presence of that voice had made a drastic shift. It was a stranger’s voice, and it failed to bring him the comfort he once enjoyed in the past.

  “Yea, we’re going to give it a try tonight.” They sat down side-by-side on the pew. “We’ll be meeting at Jake’s office around midnight.”

  “I want to come. I want to be there to help.” It was a command, not a request for permission. “What time will I be bringing you there?”

  “I,” Hotan tripped on his thought, stunned at the taking charge attitude. “I’ll most likely need a ride depending how this goes. I’m thinking eleven or so. It should give me enough time to settle my nerves.”

  “I’ll see you at your place then. None of us know how this is going to work.” Kyle gave him a few hearty pats on the back and left him in peace.

  Sitting there in the cathedral, collecting his thoughts and feelings was the only thing he could do. That was no longer the friend he knew. No matter how much he comforts him, that is not his Kyle. He was as gone and dead as the real Hotan himself now. A gaping hole and sickening feeling is all this Hotan had left of the world he knew. It came down to him embracing this new reality. It had officially taken over. His depression sunk lower as his emotions screamed inside him. The pain that tugged at his heart competed with how he felt the night he lost his mother.

  I am so tired of all the hurt…

  Hotan had made up his mind. He would milk what was left of his normal. The remainder of his mortality achieving his diploma and competing with his band. After that, he would enjoy his last day of his old existence. He deserved to say farewell to the life he thought he led before switching to the path of being an immortal.

  Tonight he would accept the help offered to him. It felt as if he would be drown into the deep black abyss that was currently swallowing his soul.

  I need to control the element of Rebirth. If I can do that, I can figure out what my predecessor did that was so wrong. I have to become the replacement Hotan’s people needs me to be. Talib has failed to step in and the rest of them can only lend me a hand when they can. I am the key. Some place within me, I have the answers that none of us know. All I have to do is manage to turn on that light and see it.

  Hotan kept Shellie in the dark again. As a treat, he took her out to a fine dining restaurant for dinner. Enjoying the moment, he allowed himself to lose track of the time. All he could tell her was that he may be disappearing for some time to take care of things, not to worry. As usual Shellie simply smiled and gave him encouragements to not be gone for too long. Hotan couldn’t help but think that this may be the last time anyone would see a smile or hear a laugh come from him. Not that he ever did much of either, but she always managed to get it out of him.

  How much am I going to change after this ordeal tonight? Will it be like Kyle? A completely different personality?

  It was a silent ride with the strange new Kyle. Even his driving habits had changed. It felt so wrong and foreign to him sitting in that same car with his friend’s doppelganger. Hotan couldn’t even make eye contact with him, but Kyle’s heavy body language spoke volumes. He felt guilty for not being that friend for Hotan anymore. The silence had grown too suffocating for Hotan. Desperate to drown out the thoughts, he turned on the radio. It avoided any talking as well. The painful emotions that boiled within him wanted him to act out, but he was stubborn. Hotan lost his thoughts to the lyrics as the rain on the highway grew thicker. Lightning started to shout loudly over all the sounds of the traffic. Seether’s 69 Tea was starting, and his panicking thoughts started seeping through…

  I won’t die in there.

  I don’t care if I’m lost.

  I just want her to be safe.

  “Hotan, we’re here.” He jerked as Kyle shook his shoulder, waking him up. “You ok? You don’t have to do this tonight. We can wait as long as you want.”

  “I’m fine.” Rubbing his face, he marveled over the fact he fell asleep on the ride over. “It’s not like I’ve been sleeping much lately.”

  “Sorry, come on. Let’s get this done and over with.” Kyle patted him on the back as a silent form of inspiration. “This will at least keep you from broadcasting your thoughts like a radio station.”

  “Heh,” He finally looked him in the eyes. “Is it really that bad? You really still hear everything?”

  “Hate to say it but, yea man. You’re very loud.” Paying no heed to the rain falling around them, they grinned at each other. The front of the Police headquarters was unlocked and after flashing their badges, security waved them by. “It’s been very clear that this whole ordeal. It has weighed heavily on your mind and other than that, Shellie. I never knew you put so much thinking behind everything you do.”

  “Oh man.” He felt his cheeks go hot as they walked onto the elevator.

  “Don’t worry. No one would dare say anything about it to you.” Hotan was starting to relax; maybe this new Kyle wasn’t as bad as he had thought. “And if you decide to back out at last minute, there’s no shame. We’re all nervous about this.”

  “The quicker we do this, the more likely I can focus on the next step.” They stared at each other in silent reserve. “If it even works.”

  Hotan took a slow, deep breath as they came to a stop on the top floor. As they walked off the elevator, he could feel a tingly feeling in his joints as his nerves began to unwind. It was making each movement feel almost painful, even unstable. The dark, empty receptionist area was not helping the gloomy atmosphere. An experiment was about to take place in the back room. The test subject was going to be him. Hotan walked through the valley of shadows that the hallway cast.

  Feel
ing miniscule as he stopped in front of the doors to Jacob’s office, he thought, This is it.

  He had made up his mind. There was no turning back. He needed all the help he could get, no matter what form it came to him in. Kyle laid a heavy hand on his shoulder and pushed passed him, entering the office.

  “Hey there, Hotan.” Jacob turned to face them. “If you want to back down for the night, don’t be shy about it. This is no time to play it tough, kid.”

  “There is no telling what will happen when I use my powers to help your mind focus. I aim to enhance your perception, your comprehension of the power you can access.” Mr. Piedmont had a solemn look on his face. “No one has ever used their powers towards Hotan in the past. I have used it to help others master their powers before, but, that’s as much as I have ever dared to try.”

  “I understand.” It was getting harder to hold his composure as he walked over to the chaise lounge where Mr. Piedmont stood. “Let’s see if this does anything.”

  In silence, he laid down as Jacob pulled up another chair for the old man to use. Hotan closed his eyes, too anxious to watch the taut faces that surrounded him. Feeling the clammy, shaking hands gently touching either side of his temples made him jerk. He desperately tried to keep his heartbeat steady and calm. The thoughts in his head were running rampant as they spilled forward.

  How bad is this going to hurt? How bad of a shape will Mr. Piedmont be in after attempting to dive into my mind? How much of my mind do I not know exist? Will this even work?

  Hotan could feel himself drifting, almost as if he was freefalling into an empty void. It was startling sensation and broke his thoughts free of their despair. He felt disconnected with his body besides the faint warm sensation coming from his temples. Floating there, he still asked himself a billion questions. It echoed in the empty space, his mind gave no reply. Looking about in the floating gray, nothing was there. He was by himself in this vast span of haze that he assumed was his mind. Far as he could tell, nothing was happening. It was going nowhere.