Free Indeed

by Bailey West

  “Yes, in prison.”

  “Yes, Torrey and I were waiting for Samuel to come into the visiting room but Reggie made it to the table first. He was just as handsome as the last time I’d seen him. I knew it was time, to tell the truth because he knew Samuel was his as soon as he looked at him. He couldn’t deny him even if he wanted to. Samuel looks exactly like him.”

  “That’s what I said when I met him. Samuel carries himself like Reggie and everything.”

  “He does,” Vivian laughed. “But after Samuel found out, he never treated me any differently. He still treats me like I walk on water and can turn water into wine. He is so special to me.”

  “Me too,” I rubbed Samuel’s hand and it felt a little cold, so I put it under the blanket, “I don’t know what I would do without him, Vivian. He has to get better.”

  “He will, sweetheart. He will.”

  Averie

  Four weeks after the shooting…

  “Hello?”

  I opened my eyes upon hearing someone entering the room. Torrey and Vivian had left to take care of some things leaving me alone with Samuel. I must have dozed off.

  “Hi,” I stood to my feet recognizing the two people who entered the room.

  “Averie?”

  “Yes?”

  “I am Zanetta, Xavier’s sister.”

  “I know who you are.” I was trying my best not to fangirl on her. I’d just listened to one of her podcasts earlier in the day. “I listen to your podcasts all the time.”

  “You do?”

  “I do. I love them. They have helped me so much. Especially lately,” I said while rubbing Samuel’s arm.

  “I’m a hugger. Can I hug you?” Zanetta asked.

  “Sure.”

  She stepped closer, and we embraced.

  “This is my husband, Roman.”

  The pictures I’d seen of Roman did him no justice. His smooth dark skin and brown eyes were magazine cover worthy. Zanetta was beautiful as well. She wore her hair up in a top knot, her dimples appeared even when she wasn’t smiling, but the most beautiful thing about her was her energy. She emanated a calming wave that made her feel like my friend instantly.

  “Hi,” Roman said extending his hand.

  We shook.

  “How is he doing?” Zanetta asked looking past me at Samuel.

  “He’s getting better every day,” I smiled.

  I looked at Samuel. The bandages had been removed from his head. His skin had changed from the gray, ashen color it was when he first arrived back to the cappuccino color it was before. I made sure his hair was being cut once a week by his barber from Fade barbershop, Ced. We, Vivian and I decided not to shave him. His beard had started to grow in, full and dark. Ced lined it up and groomed it as well. Samuel was looking more and more like himself, but he still wasn’t awake. We knew from the tests that the doctors had performed recently, that there was a lot of brain activity consistent with dreaming and understanding. There was no known medical reason for him to still be in a coma, but he was.

  “I met Samuel for the first time at our wedding. We became friends almost immediately,” Roman said.

  “Samuel has been family for a long time, even before Xavier started working for him. But, he almost got disowned when he sent our son an entire Stars wardrobe. I know he’s part owner of the Stars but he is very aware of my Cardinals allegiance. My baby is a Cardinals fan as well,” Zanetta chuckled.

  “Or RJ may be a Yankees fan,” Roman amended.

  “Babe, not in front of company,” Zanetta said while rubbing Roman’s back.

  I laughed because I’d listened to a podcast where she talked about her love of sports. Her family knew how to get under her skin by challenging her on her sports teams.

  “Anyway, Averie, we came down to visit with Xavier. You know to check on him again. We came down the day after the shooting and saw Xavier, but we didn’t want to intrude since Samuel was still in critical condition. We’ve been praying for him and getting updated from Zay.”

  “Thank you. They took him off the ventilator a while ago, so he is breathing on his own. His wounds are healing, but he just won’t wake up.”

  “I hear you are playing music. More specifically songs of healing?” Roman said.

  “Yeah, JD told me the story of David and Saul.”

  “Music has a healing quality for sure. I went through a time in my life where I didn’t know which way was up. It felt like God had forgotten me and I was just in the middle of life, wading alone. I quit music altogether. I didn’t want to hear any or play any. My healing was delayed because of that decision. One thing I learned in that time is that God never leaves you. He’s always there, so lean on him now. Let him carry you and El through this. He will.”

  I wiped my tears while Roman spoke.

  “Is it okay if we pray with you?” Zanetta asked.

  “Yes, please.”

  Roman walked to the opposite side of Samuel’s bed and held Samuel’s hand then reached for Zanetta’s. She held my hand, and I used my other hand to hold Samuel’s hand.

  She started speaking in a language that I didn’t understand, but I knew from church that she was praying in the Holy Ghost. I closed my eyes and listened.

  “Before I pray, Averie, I hear the Lord saying that he hasn’t forgotten about you.”

  My eyes popped open to look at Zanetta. Her eyes were closed, and so were Roman’s. How could she know that I’d just asked God if he’d forgotten about me? I’d just prayed and asked Him if he was at all concerned about the troubles that I was facing.

  I knew that my life choices and moves didn’t always line up with what I’d been taught in church but coming to this hospital day after day and seeing Samuel in this condition made me wonder if God wasn’t punishing me. I’d asked him when all of this would be over? How much more could I handle?

  “He sees you working daily to be a good person and an asset to your community. He says your love for Him is evident in the way you love His people. Your heart is one that will never be too full to take on another person to love, another person to care for. He said, no, you don’t disappoint me. You make me proud every day. You are special to me, Averie. I have plans for you. Plans to prosper you. Plans to make your name great and expand your borders. This is but a season in your life. A season of growing, learning and understanding. You asked me when. My answer to you is, in due time. You will not walk through this life alone.”

  I fell to my knees sobbing uncontrollably. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. I’ve been praying since I was a little girl and was never sure if God ever heard me. I needed the encouragement today because it started feeling like this was never going to be over.

  Roman prayed while Zanetta consoled me on the ground.

  After Zanetta and Roman’s visit, I had a renewed hope. I woke up looking forward to the day that I would walk into the hospital, and El would be awake.

  Today was not that day. I walked into El’s room and found Torrey sitting in the chair next to his bed.

  “Hey, Torrey.”

  We embraced.

  “How is he today?” I asked while kissing El on his lips and checking his hands to see if they were cold. He felt fine.

  “The same. I was just telling him about my plans to redo the deck on the back of my house. I feel like I need to change somethings around. I can hear him asking me which contractor I am going to use and if I’d gotten recommendations from some of their former clients. He thinks he is my big brother instead of the other way around.”

  We laughed.

  “But did you get those recommendations?”

  “I’m still in the planning stages, but I will make sure I do that! I miss hearing his voice. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without some sort of communication with him. When he was locked up, mom and I visited him at least once a month. He called when he could, and we wrote each other a lot.”

  “I miss his voice too. I didn’t think I would fall in love. I thought lo
ve was for people who weren’t as busy or driven as I am, but all it took was meeting the person who matched my busyness and my drive. He’s everything I wanted in a man but didn’t know it until I met him.”

  “He told me about you the first day he met you in his office. He said that you were bullheaded and had a slick mouth. I laughed because he was describing himself. I wasn’t positive at first, but when he changed his whole day to come to the We Love the Community event, I knew you would be my family.”

  “He told me he some free time that day!”

  “He did after he volun-told Raymond and me to come with him and made Ulysses push back the time of his chef tasting.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I smiled.

  “Then it felt like it took you both forever to finally admit that there was something between you but I’m glad you did. You are great for him.”

  “Thank you, Torrey. I love him so much.”

  “I know you do. If I didn’t know it before this, I definitely know it now.”

  We sat silently and watched Samuel sleep before I asked, “Why are you single?”

  In the time that I’d known her, I’d never seen her date or even mention a guy’s name.

  “I’m like you in a sense. I married my career. I have a Master of Public Administration degree that I received while Samuel was locked up. I wanted to create programs to help the community which segued into my philanthropy work. I love what I do and don’t want anyone coming into my life trying to change or interfere with that. So, I’m single. For years, Mom asked me when I was going to marry or at least give her a grandchild. After I turned forty, she stopped. I never wanted children even though Samuel always felt like he was mine. It was like I and Mom raised him together.”

  “Maybe you will be blessed like me and find a guy that you fit with perfectly.”

  “Maybe but I’m fine with me.”

  Bzzzz…bzzzz.

  The sounds of muffled vibration coming from my nightstand alerted me to the incoming phone call. Seeing the clock read two forty-five in the morning, my mind quickly filled with the absolute worse scenarios. Was Samuel okay? Are my parents okay? Did something happen to one of my sisters? Did one of my clients get locked up? No one ever called this late unless something was terribly wrong. I quickly grabbed the phone and saw a local number that was not programmed in. I shakily swiped the phone icon to connect the call.

  “Hello?”

  “Vee?”

  I sat straight up in my bed and pressed the phone closer to my ear.

  “Hello?” I said again and held my breath. I didn’t want any noise distorting the voice on the other line, and that included my breathing.

  “Vee…Baby…it’s me.”

  This time there was no confusion on what I’d just heard. I looked around my room to make sure I was actually awake and not dreaming. I’d had these types of dreams before, although, he never spoke to me in them, so that’s new but still…

  “Samuel?” I said just above a whisper. That’s all the sound I could muster.

  “Yes?” his baritone voice answered.

  “Baby? Is this really you?”

  “It is. I asked for you when I woke up. The nurse told me you went home a few hours ago.”

  I hopped out of bed and grabbed the first thing I saw to throw on.

  “Ms. Patterson?” I heard the nurse say.

  “Victoria, please tell me this is happening,” I said while pulling on my sports bra and t-shirt.

  “It is! I saw the call light come on in here and thought there was a malfunction. I walked in and saw him sitting up in the bed. The doctors are in here now looking at him. Doctor McIntyre was on call tonight. I paged him, and he came right up.”

  “I’m on my way. Did you call Vivian?”

  “I will call her as soon as we get off the phone. He asked for you as soon as I came into the room.”

  “Vic…”

  “Yes, Ms. Patterson?”

  “I’m awake, right? Like, this is not some elaborate extended dream?”

  “No,” she chuckled. “Both you and Mr. Valentine are awake.”

  I wiped the tears that had started to fall.

  “Okay. I am on my way. Tell him I am on my way!”

  I zipped up the jacket to my Adidas jogging suit. Without breaking my stride, I grabbed my purse, threw my phone inside and walked out my front door.

  I made the ten-minute drive to the hospital in approximately five and a half. I don’t remember seeing any red lights. They bore some semblance of green to me; greenish-red, dark green or greenish-yellow, so I went through them.

  Thoughts ran through my mind like, what if this is an isolated thing and he is asleep when you arrive? You didn’t ask her how he looked or if he was okay. What if you walk in and don’t recognize him or maybe he won’t recognize you. The latter was quickly dismissed because he asked to call me, so he knew who I was. Victoria would have mentioned memory loss.

  I quickly found a space in the same area I parked in every day. I smiled and waved at the evening guard who’d become very familiar with my face. I trotted to the elevator bank and pushed the button for Samuel’s floor.

  I took that time to examine myself in the mirrored elevator doors. I wasn’t sure if what I’d chosen to put on even matched but luckily for me, it did. I also had on sneakers to complement it. It was a miracle that I wasn’t in my nightgown, braless, in a pair of jogging pants and some furry slippers.

  My heart began to race as the elevator doors opened. Muscle memory propelled me forward and down the hall to Samuel’s room. I had made this journey every day for four weeks. Every day I prayed for a miracle or some sign that he was getting better. I prayed for a sign that he would come back to me, an eye flutter, hand squeeze, something. Every day was the same prayer and every day was the same result. Now, I didn’t need to pray that prayer. He was awake.

  I heard voices as I approached the door to his room. I took a deep breath before I pushed the door open and saw several nurses and doctors all milling around in the room. I could see Samuel’s bottom half, but I couldn’t see around the doctors that were examining him to see his face. I moved slightly to the left just as Samuel looked around the doctor standing in front of him. The corners of his full bearded lips curved upward into a smile. Instinctively I moved past every obstacle, machines, nurses, and doctors to get to him. I can’t recall if I said excuse me or if I just pushed my way through. Either way, they moved.

  I dove into his awaiting arms and nuzzled my face into his neck. I felt his strong arms wrap around me securely holding me in place. I pulled away to look into his chocolate eyes. He pulled me to him and gently kissed me.

  “Um, can someone find my real girlfriend. This one is crying. My girlfriend never cries,” he chuckled.

  “Shut up!” I laughed through my tears, “I cry when it’s really important. I missed you, El.”

  “I love you, beautiful.”

  “I love you, too.”

  We kissed again.

  “How do you feel?” I asked while tugging on his beard.

  “I felt this,” he said rubbing his face full of hair.

  “We didn’t want anyone trying to shave you. Are you in any pain?”

  “I feel weak but good.”

  “That’s to be expected after being in a prone position for so long,” Doctor McIntyre answered.

  I jumped a little because I forgot we were not alone.

  “Oh, my goodness. Doctor McIntyre, I’m sorry!”

  “Don’t be sorry. I understand. We are all happy to see Mr. Valentine awake.”

  “I will move over here out of your way.”

  “Don’t go far,” Samuel said before releasing me.

  “I’m standing right over here,” I pointed to the corner of the room where I could still see but be out of the way.

  I remembered standing in that corner when the doctors rushed in that first night to save him. Now the doctors were examining him, and he seemed to be okay.

/>   “Blood pressure is one twenty over eighty,” Victoria called out as she removed the blood pressure cuff from Samuel’s arm.

  “That’s perfect. Are you experiencing any double vision, headaches or aches of any kind?” Doctor McIntyre questioned.

  “I have some pain in my side. My leg hurts some,” Samuel answered.

  “Those are your wounds. They are still healing, but the staples and sutures have been removed. On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain in those areas?”

  “Maybe a three.”

  “Good, that means…”

  The door burst open. Vivian, Torrey, and Roc all spilled into the room. All three doing exactly what I’d just done and pushed past every obstacle in their way to get to Samuel.

  “Hey Momma,” Samuel smiled at Vivian who made it to him first.

  “My baby!” she cried while she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

  She released him and did a quick once over.

  “Are you feeling okay? Does your head hurt? Are you cold? Did they feed you yet?” Do you need…”

  “Momma,” Samuel interrupted her. “I’m okay. I know my name, what year it is and everything. I’m just behind a few weeks on current events.”

  “Okay. You sure?” she looked at Doctor McIntyre.

  “He seems to be okay. We will run some tests in the morning to be sure.”

  “Hey Sis,” Samuel smiled at Torrey.

  “Hey, Bro. I’m so happy you’re awake,” Torrey choked out before hugging El.

  “I got all the ladies in my life crying. Stop crying. I’m okay,” Samuel soothed.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Didn’t you just hear Momma run down that laundry list of questions?”

  They both chuckled.

  “Nigga! Yo’ street cred is on a hun’ed. You’ve been locked up, in a fight in jail, stabbed and shot! You on G status for real!” Roc said as he moved in to hug Samuel.

  They laughed and hugged.

  “What’s up Roc. You good?”

  “Couldn’t be better. Imma try to keep my G card and stop talking now,” Roc said while backing away and clearing his throat.

  “You lost that when you tried to sing that song to ole’ girl at the club and she walked away, angry!”