Just a Little Sincerity

by Tracie Puckett

  “You’re leaving?”

  “I can’t stay,” he said. “Lonnie and I don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye. Grace let me in this morning, but he doesn’t know I’m here and it’s probably best if it stays that way.” He rubbed his thumb across the scar on his lip before turning back to me. “Get home safe—”

  “Luke,” I said, stepping a little closer to him. “You don’t have to respond to this, okay? Just know that… I do understand that I’m not a cat; and you’re not a mouse,” I said, beginning to recycle Derek’s speech. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop chasing you…because I love you, Luke. And when you love someone the way I love you, you don’t give up. I left the school last night because I let an idiot make me believe that you didn’t care for me. I let Derek convince me that you were never going to come for me. And up until about… five seconds ago, I really believed that. But I know you care, despite it all. And no, I don’t know what you’re running from, but I’m here to help you. And if you don’t want my help, that’s okay. I’ll wait. I’ll keep waiting… until you tell me to stop.”

  “Jules, I….”

  “Do you want me to stop, Luke?”

  “No….”

  “Then I’ll wait,” I said. “Until you’re ready.”

  Luke took a step back into the room, opening his arms up, and pulling me to his chest. He wrapped me in the warmth of his arms, holding me as close as he possibly could without snapping me in two.

  A creak at the top of the steps sounded and I sensed that we were no longer alone. I opened my eyes and smiled at a red-faced Lonnie.

  “Good morning,” I said, reluctantly pulling away from Luke’s hug.

  “Julie,” Lonnie said, tearing his eyes away from Luke long enough to smile at me. “Charlie is here.”

  I nodded. “Thanks, I’ll get dressed and be right down.”

  “Don’t bother,” he said. “You can take the clothes. We don’t need them here.”

  “Are you sure?” I said. “It won’t take but a minute—”

  “They belonged to my son, sweetheart,” he said, throwing a glance back at Luke. “He’s dead to me. Keep ‘em.”

  Lonnie disappeared back down the steps. I turned to Luke; he stood still, staring expressionless at the floor.

  “Luke?” I asked, trying to meet his gaze. “Luke, is Lonnie your—”

  “Yes,” he said, finally meeting my stare. “Lonnie’s my dad… this is my old room… and those….” He brushed my hair behind my shoulder and smoothed a wrinkle on the shirt. “Those used to be my clothes.” He tried to mask his hurt with a failed smile. “And now I guess they’re yours.”

  “Luke,” I said, lifting his chin. “Do you want to talk about this?”

  “No,” he said, standing tall, his demeanor changing completely with his posture. His red eyes were the only indication left that he’d had a momentary lapse into normalcy. Now, he was back to his fake, forced smile and unnecessarily distant attitude. “Don’t keep Charlie waiting.”

  And with that, he was gone.

  Chapter Five

  Saturday November 03, 4:00pm

  “I heard that, Carrie,” I said, my voice carrying across the gym. “This room echoes like no other, so please watch the name calling.”

  I could only imagine that Carrie rolled her eyes, along with every other member of the dance committee. All morning they’d been whispering behind my back, gossiping, and complaining; I got the message, they didn’t want to be here. None of us did. But the decorations were still incomplete with only four hours before the Fall Ball was set to kick off.

  “Julie,” Kara Bennington, the junior class introvert and the school’s biggest sweetheart, tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and smiled, ready to help her however I could. “I have an appointment to have my hair done in twenty minutes and I was wondering if I could—”

  “Go,” I said, urging her toward the door. “You’ve done great today. Thank you for everything—”

  “Thank you,” she said, smiling. “I’ll get back to help as soon as I can.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Just get your hair done, go home, and get ready for the dance. I’ll see you tonight.” I turned to the rest of the committee. “All of you,” I said. “Just go home and get ready. There’s no sense for all of us to be here. I’ll take care of the rest. Have a good afternoon and come back ready to party!”

  My classmates couldn’t have moved toward the exit faster.

  After they were gone, I spent the better part of the next hour putting the centerpieces in place. The faux-crystal bowls were filled with water—some bowls with orange liquid, some red, and some yellow; a white leaf-shaped candle floated in each one.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  I turned to find Derek standing at the door on the far side of the gymnasium.

  “No,” I said, turning back to adjust the final centerpiece. “I think I’ve got it under control.”

  “Okay,” he said, taking a few reluctant steps in my direction. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

  “I really don’t, Derek,” I said. “I’m almost done here and then I’m pressed to make an appointment at the salon—”

  “I won’t take much of your time,” he said. “I just need a minute.”

  I pursed my lips and gnawed on the inside of my cheek. “Okay.”

  Derek pulled two chairs from under the table. “Have a seat—”

  “I’ll stand,” I said, having no intention of giving him more than the one minute I’d promised.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his blue eyes full of remorse. “I should have never said those things to you last night. I was hurt and upset. I didn’t want you to know just how much Luke was getting to me. But… I took some time this morning, and I really thought about what I said… and here’s what I came up with.” He took a deep breath, adjusted his glasses, and swallowed hard. “I care about you, Julie. And because I care about you, I hate to see you hurting the way you do because of Luke. He toys with you, he uses you, and he keeps you hanging on to his every word. I know it may be hard to believe, but I don’t resent him because you have him on a pedestal. If he’s the one you want, great. But my problem with Luke comes from the very fact that he takes you for granted. He should worship the ground you walk on, Julie.”

  “I don’t want him to fall at my feet,” I said. “I just want him here—”

  “And I get that,” he said. “It’s Luke. It’s always been Luke, I know. And I know you’re holding on to hope, so I’m going to respect that. Friends support friends… I don’t want to lose what we have, Julie. I was wrong last night… that was my anger talking—”

  “You haven’t lost my friendship, Derek,” I said. “It would take a lot more than a sharp tongue to make me angry enough to write you off.”

  A faint smile crossed his lips. “Friends, then?”

  “To the very end, baby.”

  Saturday November 03, 7:20pm

  I took one final look in the mirror. With only ten minutes to go before I'd have to be out the door and on the road, I took a step back and assessed the final ensemble. The gown was burnt orange, strapless, and free flowing to the floor. My gloves, shoes, evening bag, and shawl were a dark shade a brown... the color of Luke’s deep, dark, beautiful eyes.

  The doorbell rang and I checked my clock. Charlie was home, Matt was down the hall putting the final touches on his outfit for the night, and no one was expecting company. The only thing I could imagine is that Charlie’s takeout had come earlier than expected; if that was the case, Charlie was busted for ordering junk food—and Matt would be engaging in a nice little lecture with his father about the importance of healthy eating.

  I left my room and moved toward the front steps, stopping dead on the landing when I heard Charlie greet the visitor.

  “'ey, Trigger,” he said. “Lookin’ dapper, kid. Come on in.”

  “Chief,” Luke replied, formal in tone.

  “What’s go
ing on?” Charlie asked. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes sir,” Luke said. “I only dropped by because I need to steal a minute of your time.”

  “Well come on in,” Charlie said, his voice moving further away. “The kids are upstairs getting ready for the dance. I just ordered some Chinese— don't tell Matt— so you're more than welcome to stick around for dinner.”

  The men moved through the house, and from what I could tell, were now in the kitchen. I shot across the upstairs hallway as quietly as I could, stopping short on the landing at the back stairway. I tiptoed down the first three steps and took a seat on the fourth—just out of sight, but in perfect earshot.

  “Are you sure?” Charlie asked. “I ordered more than enough.”

  I was glad to hear that all I'd missed was Luke declining a dinner invitation.

  “Thanks, but I can't stay long. I just stopped by to have a quick heart-to-heart.”

  Silence lingered on the floor below.

  “Well?” Charlie asked after a few long beats. “What can I do for you?”

  “Can we sit?” Luke asked. For the first time since Charlie let him in, I sensed a bit of nervousness in his voice.

  “You’re serious,” Charlie observed. “Yeah, go ahead. Have a seat.”

  “I came here tonight to talk to you about Julie,” Luke said, barely masking the sound of the chair sliding out from under the table.

  “Julie?” Charlie asked. “Why? What’d she do?”

  “Nothing, sir,” Luke said. “I came because I believe there are some things that you should know.”

  “Bad things?”

  “That’s debatable….”

  “Well?” Charlie asked.

  “When you brought Julie to the station a couple of months back, you didn't force her on me. You asked me if I'd consider taking her on patrol, and I respected you for taking my feelings and opinion into consideration.”

  “I do my best to keep everyone happy—”

  “Which is why I feel like I owe you the same, sir,” Luke said. “I was amused by Julie the moment I met her. Granted, I thought she was way out of her league. She was outspoken, feisty, and a little too immature to get any kind of takeaway from the project. Still, something about her intrigued me.”

  “Julie's a good kid,” Charlie said. “She's just been through a lot—”

  “And I failed to recognize that right away,” Luke admitted. “But as I got to know her, things started to change. I saw her for who she really is. And I'm afraid my admiration for her character started to show through, because she ended up developing a crush on me.”

  “Didn't check your ego at the door, did you?” Charlie teased.

  I imagined Luke smiled at the joke, but it was simply impossible to tell. I could’ve moved down another step or two, but not without the risk of being seen.

  “I overheard a conversation she had with Matt at the sidewalk café shortly after she started the shadowing project,” he said. “She openly admitted to him that she had feelings for me, but even she was still unsure as to what those feelings were. And while she took the time to sort them out, it would have been best for me to keep my distance. But I couldn't. Knowing she had interest intrigued me even more... because deep down, I felt something too.”

  Charlie’s groan filled the room.

  “Time passed,” Luke continued without prompt. “And the more time I spent with Julie, the more I wanted to see her again. And when Derek and Hannah moved to town, I knew something wasn’t right. Hannah took to Matt too quickly, and Derek always kept Julie in eyeshot. I’d promised you on day one that I’d take care of Julie, and that’s just what I intended to do. So, I started making calls; I even visited a few cops down in West Bridge. And the moment I knew Julie was in danger, I busted my ass to get back here to Oakland and get her out of harm’s way. I knew what I was walking into that night. I didn’t care. And it wasn’t the cop in me that cared about her safety. I legitimately cared that she walked away unharmed. I was ready to die for her, sir.”

  “Luke,” Charlie said, his voice low and stern. “Don’t make me regret the decision I made to put you in charge of my niece—”

  “When I took that bullet,” Luke continued, ignoring Charlie’s warning. “The only thing I could think about was Julie. And it killed me; because all I could think was… if I die... someone else will end up with her. Some other guy would walk in, win her heart, and she'd forget I ever existed. I should have died—the doctors will tell you that; but it was the thought of losing her that kept me breathing. Julie was the only thing that kept me holding on.”

  “Luke—”

  “I’m not here to make you regret your decision, sir,” Luke said, still refusing to give Charlie a chance to speak. “I’m not here to make you uncomfortable or angry. I just respect you too damn much to lie to you. I’m crazy about your niece, Chief. And I came here tonight to ask you for your permission—”

  “Permission for what?” Charlie asked. “For crying out loud, Luke, she's a child—”

  “She is,” Luke agreed. “By age, Julie is a child. She's seventeen, I'm twenty-three. And I know that's a problem, but you know as well as anyone... Julie isn't a typical seventeen-year-old girl.”

  “What do you want with her, Luke?”

  “For tonight, I just want to take her to her dance.”

  My heart melted into a warm puddle and slowly trickled into my belly.

  “I’m sorry, Luke,” Charlie said. “But the answer is no. There are a million other girls out there—go pick one of them. But not my Julie.”

  “Sir—”

  “No,” Charlie said again. “Julie is destined for a wonderful life, but it’s not in this town. And it’s not with you.”

  Nothing but silence filled the air. When two long minutes passed without even the tiniest sound, I stood tall on the fourth step, and slowly descended down the rest. I wore my best poker face, pretending to have no idea that Luke was there—let alone that I’d heard his entire conversation with Charlie.

  When I reached the kitchen, Luke was seated at the table, but Charlie was standing against the center island. Neither of the men looked at the other, but they both turned to me.

  “Hey,” I said. “What’s going on?” Luke pulled himself up and stared at me, his mouth hanging ajar. He bit his bottom lip as I turned in a full circle. “You guys like my dress?”

  “It’s nice,” Charlie said, his eyes darting to Luke.

  “Yeah,” Luke said. “It’s uh… it’s nice.”

  I smiled at both of them before turning my full attention to Luke. “Look at you all dressed up,” I said, walking over to straighten his brown tie. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Just another Saturday night,” he said, casting a sideways glance at Charlie. He gently lowered my hands from his tie and backed away. He looked past me and stared at Charlie without as much as a single blink. “I’m going to hit the road now. Chief… I’m truly sorry we couldn’t come to an agreement. I hope you’ll have a change of heart.” He turned back to me. “Have a great night, Julie.”

  As he disappeared to the foyer, Matt came down the staircase and joined us in the kitchen. Moments later, we heard the sound of the front door opening and then closing. Luke was gone.

  “You ready to go?” Matt asked, adjusting the cuffs of his jacket. “I have to pick Kara up in ten minutes—”

  “Sure,” I said, staring across the kitchen at Charlie, who refused to make eye contact. He kept his arms crossed at his chest and his eyes fixed on the floor. “Good night, Charlie.”

  “Night dad,” Matt called as we walked out of the kitchen. As we reached the foyer, Matt took my arm and stopped me. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, why?” I asked, trying to mask the range of emotions surging through me.

  “I know you heard everything… I was right behind you on the stairs,” he said, caressing my arm as if I were a wounded child. “You’re holding up better than I—”

  “I’m fine,” I
said, smoothing the lace on my gloves. “Let’s just go.”

  Chapter Six

  Saturday November 03, 8:40pm

  May I have this dance?

  It was a question I’d heard a thousand times that night. Every boy in the freshman, sophomore, and junior class had approached me with bright eyes and hopeful stares; the senior boys showed no interest. And while their offers were flattering, I couldn’t imagine spending my evening in anyone’s arms but Luke’s—no matter how innocent it would have been.

  And despite dodging invitations to the dance floor—in addition to all the events that unfolded in the previous twenty-four hours—I somehow managed to wear a smile. The gymnasium had survived an incredible transformation; I was proud of what we’d pulled off.

  “May I have this dance?”

  I turned to decline yet another youngster, but I turned right into Luke’s arms. I stared at him in disbelief, yet there he was. I couldn’t even muster a surprised why are you here? I simply eased into his embrace, resting my head against his wounded chest. I closed my eyes as he led me into a mass of dancing couples. And there, in that moment, we shared the beginning of our first dance.

  I lifted my chin and held his gaze. “Why… why are you here?”

  “You don’t have to understand,” Luke said, resting his head on top of mine. “Just go with it.”

  “But I want to,” I said, never breaking his stare.

  “Julie,” he whispered, tucking a curl behind my ear and brushing my cheek with his thumb. “Not every action has to come with an explanation.

  “With you it does,” I said. “If you don’t explain, I may misinterpret. I may think we’re having a moment, and then you’ll accuse me of having irrational expectations.”

  A small smile crossed his lips before he lowered his head to mine. Without a word, he pulled me closer and we swayed quietly to the music, neither of us taking any notice of the couples nearby. It was a moment of complete serenity; I can’t remember ever feeling so loved and protected. But I was quickly reminded that every time I let Luke get this close, he bolts without explanation. And then I spend days trying to figure out why he’s running. And it was a game I just couldn’t play anymore….