by Terri Reed
The third time Josh stopped abruptly, Rachel managed not to ram into him. Her tennis shoes skidded on the loose dirt, raising a murky cloud of dust.
Their fruitless cries for Griff echoed back at them through the tree. Josh’s gaze traveled over her with concern. “You’re not dressed for this.”
“I didn’t plan on going for a hike in the wilderness today.” She tried for some levity, but failed.
He rubbed a hand over his face. “I should have grabbed some gear out of the truck for you. I wasn’t thinking.”
She caught his hand in hers. “You were worried about Griff. Besides, you didn’t know I’d follow you.”
Josh’s gaze moved away from her and to the wooded trail. “He should have been headed back down by now. He knows how to pace himself, how to gauge his time and distance so that at any given point he could turn back and know exactly how much time the return would take.” He held her hand tightly. “What am I going to do if anything happens to my son?” His voice was ragged and his face in the dusky light showed the signs of the terrible thoughts running through his head.
“Josh, don’t. You can’t assume anything. We’ll find him. We have to trust that God will protect him.”
“I know. I know. But the fire…”
“Remember what you asked me in the hospital? You asked if I trusted God. Now, I’m asking you, Josh. Do you trust Him? Is your faith strong enough?”
She held her breath. The last time she’d asked he’d seemed to struggle for his answer. On some level, she knew he was at a turning point in his relationship with God. Choosing to trust when things were going your way was easy, but trusting in the midst of a crisis, when only the Almighty was in control, took a step in faith.
“‘Faith’s being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see,’” she quoted softly.
He closed his eyes. Rachel could only guess he was searching his own heart for the answer, desperately trying not to let his fear overwhelm him. He breathed out and his eyes opened.
They were clearer, less panicked, more focused. “I do trust Him.”
He held out his other hand. Rachel slipped her free hand into his. She garnered comfort from his touch. He bowed his head and prayed aloud, a simple, heartfelt plea for God’s protection and direction.
When he’d finished, he slipped out of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Thank you, Rachel.”
She looked up at him in surprise. “I should be the one thanking you for the coat.”
In the fading light she saw a soft smile curve his lips. “Thank you for reminding me where my strength lies.”
His smile made her heart quicken. His eyes, hot with intensity, locked with hers. She swallowed.
A static beep drew their attention, breaking the momentary spell.
“Son, come in.” Rod’s voice came from the little box that Josh had secured to his belt.
He grabbed the instrument. “Copy, Dad.”
“Have you found them?”
“Negative, Dad. We’re almost to the summit and we’ll head down to the shoreline.”
“We’ll head toward you then.” Rod’s voice sounded strained.
Josh frowned. “Copy, Dad. Be careful.”
“You too, son. Take care of Rachel, too.”
“Copy that, Dad. Out.”
“Will your dad be okay?” Rachel asked, thinking about Rod’s age and Josh’s frown.
“Yes. He has years of experience and Chris with him. They’ll be fine. How about you? How are you doing?”
Her feet hurt and her muscles were cramping, but adrenaline kept the pain from overwhelming her. “I’m fine. Let’s keep moving.”
His expression said he didn’t quite believe her, but he gave a sharp nod and they continued on. Rachel noticed that Josh adjusted his stride so she didn’t have to jog.
She knew what that little concession must cost him in anxiety. She could feel his restrained power as his long legs ate up the ground beside her. Soon they reached the top of the small summit where the trail began to head down toward the lake.
The sight stole her breath. On the far side of the lake the fire burned hot and bright. Tall trees glowing like eerie specters rising from the ground sent a shiver sliding over her arms. Standing at the top like this, the smoke was thick and burning to her lungs.
Below them the water reflected the red glow of the flames, making the blaze overwhelming. Where could Griff be? Surely at this frightening sight he’d have headed back, unless he were hurt. Her throat constricted at the thought.
Josh yelled for Griff and she added her own cries to his. Their voices echoed across the water. Below, nothing moved; there wasn’t any sign of life.
“Where could they be?” she wondered aloud, her eyes scanning the darkness.
“I don’t know. Unless—” He broke off. His gaze traveling from the lake to the left, down an incline to the plateau where the top of an oak tree jutted out above the other trees.
She followed his gaze. “The tree?”
“Maybe.” He looked thoughtful. “Worth a chance.”
The implication that he’d told Griff about their tree left her reeling. The memories of that last visit to the old oak were etched firmly in her heart. It was the day she’d told Josh goodbye. Leaving him had been the hardest thing she’d ever done.
They left the trail and started down the hill. Rocks slid beneath Rachel’s feet. Josh grabbed her arm and steadied her. As they neared the bottom, Josh yelled for Griff again.
A faint noise from below them paused Rachel’s heart. Josh halted and called again. An answering cry filled the air. Spurred on by the tiny voice, she scrambled behind Josh. As they came out of the brush and into the clearing, a small boy came running forward. “Mr. Taylor.”
Josh ran to the dark-haired boy and gathered him in his arms. “Ben, are you okay? Where’s Griff?”
She watched as he checked the boy for injuries. Josh’s compassion for the frightened child touched her deeply.
Ben dissolved into tears, and Josh put his big, strong arms around the small boy. “Shh, it’s all right. You’re safe now. Where’s Griff?”
Over the boy’s head Rachel met his gaze. She saw fear, stark and vivid, in his hazel eyes. She stepped closer and laid a hand on his shoulder.
Ben gulped, his body shaking. “He—he fell. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to leave him. And the fire…the forest’s b-burning.”
“Show me where Griff is,” Josh said in a tight, strained voice.
The boy took Josh’s hand and pulled him toward the lone tree. Rachel saw two legs jutting out from the other side. The side that bore the marks that Josh had carved into the trunk. Was that what lured him from his troop?
Quickly they rounded the tree and stopped short.
Griff lay prone and still. Rachel rushed past a frozen Josh to kneel at Griff’s side. She fought a moment of alarm and forced her mind to focus. She immediately checked his pulse, which was strong, his breathing and then searched for injuries.
Josh knelt down beside her and very carefully took Griff’s hand. “Griff, Griff.” His voice broke.
“He’s breathing and his heartbeat’s good,” she said.
“He’s alive,” Josh breathed out, his relief evident.
“Yes, he’s alive.” She laid a reassuring hand on his arm and blinked back sudden tears. She gained control of herself and turned to the boy. “Ben, how long has he been unconscious?” Her tone was amazingly cool, despite the hammering in her chest.
“I—I don’t know. For a while.” The boy burst into fresh tears.
She looked up to see Josh staring at her intently. “His ankle’s swollen, probably broken. He has a contusion on his head. We need to get him out of here.”
“I’ll carry him back.” Josh moved to pick up his son.
Rachel squeezed his arm tightly. “You need to call for the rescue team to come take him out on a backboard.”
“No. That will take too lon
g. You said he was okay, just a broken ankle.”
“Josh, my evaluation’s superficial. We won’t know if he has internal injuries until we can get him to the hospital. You could do more damage by moving him.”
Her stern and uncompromising tone rang with familiarity in her own ears. This was the voice that got things done in the E.R. How easily and comfortably she slipped back into her doctor persona.
She could see he didn’t want to comply with her assessment, but after a moment’s hesitation, he acquiesced. From the pocket of the coat that she’d laid over Griff he pulled out a cellular phone and dialed. He quickly and tersely explained their situation.
Next he grabbed his walkie-talkie. “Dad, come in.”
“Here, son. Have you found Griff?” Rod’s voice sounded breathless.
“Yes. Where are you?”
“Just cresting the summit now.”
“Take the incline to your left. We’re here. Griff’s unconscious, but alive. Rachel wants us to wait to move him. I’ve called for the rescue team. They should arrive shortly.”
“Copy that, thank God. Out.”
“Copy, out.” He turned to her, his expression grim and full of worry. “What can we do?”
“Wait.” The one word that was so hard to do. Part of the practice of medicine consisted of waiting and seeing. Sometimes God worked miracles where a doctor never could.
Josh stood and paced. “How did he fall, Ben?”
“He was trying to climb the tree.”
Josh groaned. “He knows better than to do that by himself. How many times have I told him that without supervision he could get hurt?”
“He’s a boy exploring his world, Josh,” she stated quietly.
He whirled on her. “What do you know about it? You’re not a parent.”
She drew back at his angry outburst, hurt by his harsh words.
Immediately his expression turned contrite. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I didn’t mean—”
She held up a hand. “You’re right, Josh. I’m not a parent. I can only imagine the torment you’re feeling right now.”
Though she’d only known Griff a short time, she loved the boy and had felt the same fear as Josh. She’d glimpsed the battle Josh fought every day with fear, the fear that something would happen to his son, one of the risks of family she wasn’t sure she was up for. She forgave him his painful words. But the sting reminded her she wasn’t welcome in Josh’s life.
The sound of voices carrying down the hill was a welcome relief. Rod and Chris charged through the brush, quickly followed by three uniformed rescue personnel. Josh hastily detailed the situation.
“They snuck away from the rest of the troop and came up the hill from the shoreline,” Rod explained to Rachel as he came to kneel by Griff’s feet.
A member of the rescue team knelt beside Rachel. She gave him her evaluation. The man, named Brian, placed a neck brace on Griff. The other two members of the team brought over a backboard.
Efficiently they secured Griff to the board and splinted his ankle, then lifted him and cautiously headed up the hill. Rachel picked up Josh’s jacket and watched as Josh disappeared with the rescue team.
Rod’s arm came around her shoulders. “Shall we?”
She nodded, feeling suddenly exhausted. They followed Chris and Ben up the hill moving at a good clip.
“There’ll be an ambulance meeting us at the fire road,” Rod explained.
“That’s good.”
“Thanks for staying with Josh. I know he appreciated your presence.”
Rachel gave Rod a sidelong glance. “I probably slowed him down.”
Rod shrugged. “You two worked together and found Griff. That’s what matters.”
They’d worked together. Like a team. A couple. The pang that thought brought made Rachel stumble. Rod’s hand on her arm steadied her. They weren’t a couple. She would be leaving in the morning, going back to her life where she needed to stay focused on her goal. But the enthusiasm for the task didn’t come, didn’t fill her with the peace it usually did.
Rod cleared his throat. “You know, Josh still needs you.”
“Hardly.”
“The fire’s still blazing. He’s got a job to do. He’s going to need your help.”
Rod’s softly spoken words echoed inside her head. “My help?”
“With Griff, while he fights the fire.”
She doubted Josh would recant his demand for her to stay away from his son. He hadn’t wanted her to come on the search. He surely wouldn’t want her to stay with Griff. “They have you.”
“I’m needed out here, too. We’re going to need every hand available to stop this blaze.”
In anxiety-ridden silence, Rachel digested her conversation with Rod. Josh had needed her, but did he still? Lord, show me what to do.
At the head of the fire road, lights blazed. Two people came rushing forward from one of the vehicles.
“Ben!” called Ben’s mother. Ben hurried to meet his parents.
Rachel smiled to see the three hugging and kissing. Until recently, she hadn’t known what that would feel like. To be so glad to see someone, to hold them close and be thankful for their existence.
But she’d felt that with Griff. She loved Josh’s son, and she intended to continue to be there for him somehow, some way. Even if that meant staying a few days longer in Josh’s world where she wasn’t welcome.
Chapter Twelve
With Rod at her side, she headed toward his car.
“Rachel.” Josh’s voice brought her to a halt. He stood at the open doors to the ambulance. Inside, a paramedic worked on Griff. She knew he’d hook him up to an IV to keep him hydrated.
“Go on,” Rod urged.
She moved forward on wooden feet. “Yes?”
“Ride with us,” Josh said abruptly.
She was astonished by Josh’s request and by the thrilling glow that flowed through her in response. “Of course.” She climbed in and sat on the narrow bench next to Griff. She heard Josh tell his dad they’d see him at the hospital. The two men hugged. Josh climbed in and sat next to her.
When he gathered her hand in his, her brows rose in stunned surprise. Heat embraced her palm and traveled to her heart, making her aware of Josh’s close proximity and of the need she felt in his touch. He did need her for Griff’s sake.
“Thank you for being here.” His voice was thick and unsteady.
Her heart went out to him and a calming peace settled over her. “You’re welcome.”
What would he think when he learned that she intended to keep her promise to Mom G., and that for the next few days it wasn’t going to be from long distance?
“Can’t you go any faster?” Josh grumbled, anxiety twisting in his chest.
“We’re going as fast as we can, sir,” the ambulance driver replied with curt politeness.
Josh stared at his unconscious son. He looked so little and helpless lying on the backboard. Love swelled to overwhelming proportions, making Josh aware of how vulnerable his heart was where his son was concerned. If he lost Griff, he didn’t know if he could survive life in one piece.
Do you trust Him? Rachel had asked. Such a simple question yet not easily answered.
In placing his trust in the Lord, Josh was admitting he had no control over life. No control over whether his son lived or died. The out-of-control feeling nagged at his soul with frightening intensity. He’d had to call on every bit of knowledge he possessed about God to say yes with any conviction.
God was not some powerful being who took joy in His creations’ pain, but rather a Heavenly Father who suffered with His children.
Faith, Rachel had reminded him, was more than just believing. Faith was trusting in something intangible, placing your life in God’s care and being assured that He would work all things out for your own good.
The comforting pressure of Rachel’s hand in his reminded him of her presence. He looked up to meet her gentle, blue gaze. There w
as nothing icy in the subtle look of understanding in her eyes.
This woman amazed him. She’d been there for him when he needed her quiet strength, her steady, reassuring presence. She’d kept her cool. Her doctorly, professional cool. And he was grateful.
Why she had insisted on coming to help search for Griff, he could only guess at the answer. He supposed the bond she and his son had formed had prompted her assistance.
Any other reason… He wouldn’t go there, couldn’t go there. Surely her determination to help had only stemmed from her love of his son and her experience as a doctor, not from feelings for him. Yet, as he held her gaze, he couldn’t stop the ache that suddenly consumed his heart.
To divert his uneasy thoughts, he said, “You think he’ll be okay?”
Her expression didn’t change. “The fracture in his ankle seems to be a clean break but only an X ray will tell for certain.”
His gaze moved to the purple bruise on Griff’s forehead. “What about his head?”
“Head injuries are tricky. We won’t know what damage, if any, he has sustained until we run tests and he wakes up. But the size of the lump and the location indicate to me that at worst he may have a pretty good concussion. The forehead’s the thickest part of the skull.”
Her soft voice worked like a balm to his tightly strung nerves. Just as she’d calmly soothed his panic when they’d found Griff and for that agonizing moment when he’d thought his son was dead.
“I froze.” The admission tore from him.
She blinked. “What?”
He couldn’t meet her gaze now. If he saw disdain in her eyes it would kill him. But he needed to get the words out. His self-loathing wouldn’t permit him not to. “I froze. I saw him lying there and couldn’t function.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Even though I know what to do. I’ve been trained by the best. I’ve worked Search and Rescue. But when it mattered the most, I froze.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Josh.” With her free hand, she drew his face toward her. When he met her gaze, he didn’t see the reproach he’d anticipated. Instead he saw understanding and compassion.
“When it’s someone you love who’s hurt, it makes a difference. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the most competent doctors turn into a mass of jelly when their child or spouse is injured. Don’t beat yourself up about something that happens to everyone in your situation. Doctors don’t treat their own for that precise reason.”
