Shadow Watcher, A Romantic Suspense Novel

by Carolyn Mahony

  There was no time to prepare herself for that kiss and though her brain was shouting at her to resist, her body seemed to have other ideas as she allowed his mouth to ravish hers, drawing a response from her despite herself. And when finally she felt the pressure from his mouth easing, his lips coming to rest on hers in a stillness that was in raging contrast to the pounding of their hearts, she found herself reluctant to draw back.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

  She shifted restlessly, knowing she should be taking control of the situation. But as she drew slowly back to look up at him, trying to make some sense of what had just happened, she found her eyes mesmerised by the light in his. Excitement plucked at her gut as his gaze locked on her mouth and his head started to descend slowly towards hers again. She had plenty of time to turn away. But she didn’t. She wanted this. And this time when his lips covered hers they were gentle, coaxing a response that she was only too ready to give.

  ‘Nick...’ The word was a murmur against his mouth.

  ‘Ssh … put your arms around my neck.’ She felt his hands sliding warmly down her arms, raising them for her. ‘Like this,’ he whispered.

  For a split second she struggled with the sure knowledge that she’d live to regret this day, but the moment passed as his mouth covered hers again, pushing all rational thought aside.

  She’d never known anything like it as she kissed him back, her body exploding with a need that seemed to erupt from nowhere. And when he moulded her into his hard form, she gasped.

  ‘Christ, Grace …’

  The sound of his voice, husky with arousal, penetrated her brain just before sanity deserted her completely – and suddenly it was no longer about her and the powerful feelings he was arousing in her; but him – and memories of another time when a man’s passion had been roused to such an extent that she’d been unable to stop him.

  This was nothing like the gentle comfort of the sex she’d shared with Stuart.

  ‘No.’

  She twisted her head, breaking free of his kiss. Her eyes were haunted as they locked with his, and it was no consolation whatsoever that he was looking equally stunned at what had just passed between them.

  This time when she turned and stumbled blindly away from him, he made no move to follow her.

  She remembered nothing of her hurried walk back. Her mind was teeming as she choked back her sobs. All she wanted was the sanctity of her home where she could try to get a handle on her emotions – some understanding of what had just happened.

  But as she half ran up the path to her front door, she came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the unusual-looking bundle lying on her doorstep. A few hesitant steps more and her horrified eyes confirmed what it was – a dead cat, stretched carefully out on the lower step.

  She bit back the scream that rose to her lips, all the horrors associated with Rory storming back to her. He’d done this to her once – only it had been a dog.

  But Rory was dead.

  She looked agitatedly around the garden, her eyes skimming the trees and bushes. Night was falling but it wasn’t quite dark. Nothing to alarm her.

  She stared down at the dead animal. Maybe it had been hit by a car and had crept onto the doorstep before giving up and collapsing. Or perhaps someone had run it over and thought it was hers?

  Whatever the reason, she had to deal with it before Ellie got back.

  Pulling herself together with an enormous effort, she let herself into the house and, taking the garage key off the hook, hurried back outside to find a spade. Around her the night was closing in quickly. The garden she loved so much during the day was eerie in the near-dark, full of sounds and movements she couldn’t readily identify. She chose a spot near the shrubs at the bottom and worked quickly with her spade, the sound of it breaking into the ground, a regular resounding rhythm that helped steady her nerves.

  A twig snapped in the woods on the other side of the hedge, making her head spin up. She peered blindly into the gloom, aware that beyond the woods lay acres of open Fenland. Anyone could access her garden if they wanted to.

  Another twig snapped, and she clutched the spade tighter.

  ‘Is someone there?’

  No answer.

  Dragging her mind back to the task in hand, she continued with her work, her eyes constantly straying in all directions. She was just at the point of laying the cat gently into the hole when she heard it – a definite shuffle in the woods on the other side of the hedge. She peered into the darkness.

  ‘Who’s there?’

  Was that someone’s breathing she could hear?

  She didn't wait to find out. The cat was in the hole. She’d finish it tomorrow before Ellie got up. Spinning on her heels she fled back to the house. But a few feet short of the step, she stopped in horror.

  She’d left the front door open.

  What was she thinking? Anyone could have got in. Anyone.

  She walked slowly forward, clutching her spade as she approached the house. A sob escaped her. She needed to search it before Ellie got back – but she was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack and knew she couldn’t do it.

  The touch of a hand on her shoulder made her scream in fright. She spun round, spade swinging.

  ‘Jesus, Grace.’

  Nick reacted quickly, grabbing the spade before it made contact. ‘It’s us. I’ve brought Ellie back.’

  ‘What are you doing? You made me jump, creeping up on me like that.’

  Her eyes were wild with terror.

  ‘It’s okay, Mum.’

  Ellie stepped forward, her voice calming in the night air. ‘There’s nothing to worry about. Come inside. Come on, I’ll make you a cup of tea.’

  ‘I left the door open whilst I … I …’ Grace broke off. ‘I was nervous to go in – in case someone …’

  ‘I think a cup of tea’s a good idea,’ Nick said, putting the spade down, ‘and whilst Ellie’s doing that, Will and I will check the house from top to bottom. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. Nothing much happens around here fortunately.’

  In the kitchen she sat down at the table, trying to get a grip while she watched Ellie go through the steadying ritual of putting the kettle on, making the tea. Her hands were visibly shaking and she thrust them into her lap to hide them.

  ‘Are you alright now?’

  Ellie’s face was anxious as she asked the question and placed the cup on the table. Grace nodded, furious with herself for showing her weakness at a time when her daughter needed her to be strong.

  ‘It was silly of me. Sorry if I gave you a fright.’

  ‘I think we were the ones who gave you the fright,’ Ellie said, but the look she gave her mother was uncertain. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Mummy?’ She put her arms around Grace’s neck and hugged her. ‘I don’t like seeing you like that.’

  ‘I’m sorry, honey. It was just the dark got to me. I’m fine now.’

  ‘It’s a good thing we got back when we did, otherwise you’d probably still be out there with your spade in your hand, ready to murder someone!’

  Grace forced a smile at this obvious attempt at a joke. ‘I must have looked pretty stupid.’

  ‘No, you didn’t.’

  Another reassuring squeeze and Ellie moved away to pour herself a glass of water. Grace felt a rush of love so strong it almost overwhelmed her. She was so lucky. Ellie might champ at the bit at times, get frustrated with her for being overprotective, but if one good thing had come out of all their problems, it was the impenetrable bond they’d formed as a result. No-one could come between them or rob them of that. No-one.

  A quarter of an hour later, having checked everything was okay, Nick and Will were taking their leave. ‘Sure you’ll be all right?’ Nick asked.

  ‘Yes.’ She shrugged awkwardly. ‘I don’t know what got into me, I’m sorry.’

  ‘So am I,’ Nick said quietly, for her ears only.

  She shook her head. She didn’t want to think about
that kiss.

  ‘You did check everywhere? The cupboard under the stairs?’

  ‘Yup, everywhere.’

  Did that include all the wardrobes, the eaves cupboards?

  She wanted to ask him but she’d made enough of a fool of herself already. Later, when Ellie was asleep, she’d do her own check. Just to make sure.

  After settling Ellie down, and satisfying herself that there really was no-one in the house, Grace ran a bath. She breathed in deeply as she sank into the scented water, forcing herself to enjoy the warm, soothing sensation as it washed over her. She was mortified that she’d shown herself up like that. She must have looked pathetic.

  Damn Rory. She wouldn’t let him affect her like this for the rest of her life. There was probably some perfectly good explanation as to why that cat had been on her doorstep, and tomorrow she’d make some enquiries.

  But as some of the tension started to seep away, she found it being replaced by a different kind of tension as she remembered Nick’s mouth on hers, his hands on her body, the abandonment of her response.

  What had she been thinking? What had he been thinking?

  She groaned out loud and submerged herself in the water, hoping to wash the images away, but it was a fruitless effort. She cringed as one memory after another flooded her highly charged memory, forcing her to relive the moment. It was mortifying. She’d acted like some sex-starved maniac.

  And why had he kissed her like that when only moments before he’d been so critical of her?

  She didn’t get it. Didn’t understand men at all.

  Which was precisely why she was better off without them …

  Outside in the garden, he watched as the bedroom light went off, then turned back to the job in hand. A couple more minutes and he stepped back to admire his work.

  That would give her something to think about.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Grace awoke the next morning to the vain hope that in the light of day things might look better. But who was she kidding?

  Not allowing herself time to dwell on any of it she jumped out of bed and headed for the shower. First things first. She needed to get dressed and finish off her little job before Ellie woke up.

  But out in the garden she reeled as she stared down at the hole in the ground.

  It had been filled in – a small wooden cross marking the spot. She stared at it for a long moment.

  So someone had been here last night. Whilst she took some reassurance from the fact that she hadn't been imagining things and wasn’t going mad, it left a distinctly unpleasant taste in her mouth.

  She looked uneasily into the woods as if they’d give up their secrets of the night. But there were no clues to be seen and the garden looked as innocuous and cheerful as it always did – the early morning sound of birdsong ridiculing the notion that anything sinister could ever happen here.

  She turned and walked slowly back to the house. Maybe Nick had seen what she was doing, or had been curious as to why she’d had the spade in her hand and investigated? That would make sense. Of course he’d finish the job off for her. He was that sort of man.

  But she’d watched him and Will head off down the path.

  All the same, as she made her way to the kitchen and got her breakfast under way, she resolved to ask him the next time she saw him.

  She looked up from her egg and bacon as Ellie wandered in looking sheepish and sat down opposite her at the kitchen table. She reached for the orange juice and poured herself a glass, then looked at her mother.

  ‘I’m sorry about last night, Mum. I shouldn’t have said what I did about Dad. It upset you, didn’t it? That’s why you were jumpy.’

  Grace sighed. ‘It wasn’t your fault that I was jumpy, love; I was a bit tired and over-wrought. Do you want to talk about it?’

  Ellie seemed to wrestle with some inner conflict, before saying on a rush. ‘Will said that the way Dad was might have been sort of showing that he loved me in a weird way. Do you think that might be right?’

  Her tone was wistful and tuning into it, Grace thought carefully before answering. May she be forgiven for lying, but really there was no need for Ellie to know what a complete psycho her father had been.

  ‘Maybe. He certainly went to enough trouble tracking us down every time we moved. But he wasn’t a well man, El. His way of loving you and his resentment against me, were obsessive. I know you felt guilty about testifying against him in the court case. I did too. But we had to try and stop him somehow.’

  Ellie nodded. ‘I know. But I feel bad too because now he’s dead, part of me is glad – and that’s wrong, isn’t it?’

  The guilt in her eyes made Grace’s heart contract. She needed to reassure her little girl. ‘Well, right or wrong it’s how I feel too,’ she said gently. ‘And you know, the fact that your dad’s dead doesn’t change the way he was when he was alive, and that was something we had to live with for a long time. His behaviour was unacceptable and if there’s any guilt to be had it should be on his side, not yours. He was the adult, you were just a child.’

  She let her daughter digest that for a moment before saying. ‘I’m glad you can talk to Will. Sometimes people your own age have a far simpler way of looking at things than we adults do.’

  ‘Yeah, Will’s cool. He understands. Maybe it’s because his mum’s dead too.’

  ‘You know I’m here if ever you want to talk to me about anything? I don’t want you bottling stuff up.’

  ‘I know that. And I’m not.’ She paused before saying on a new note. ‘Will says there’s something odd going on in his family at the moment.’

  ‘Oh?’ Grace felt a stab of unease.

  ‘Yes, he says his grandmother and Nick keep disappearing off for little talks and Nick won’t tell him what it’s about.’

  Grace’s unease flipped to a sense of foreboding. She should have told Ellie about her grandmother, especially once Nick and Will’s connection had been established – and yesterday’s visit from Evelyn made it all the more imperative that she get on with it. For the first time it occurred to her that Ellie might not be happy that she’d been concealing this very relevant piece of information from her. She needed to think very carefully about how she was going to explain things.

  She jumped up from the table. ‘I need to pop down to the village to get a couple of bits, but this afternoon I thought perhaps we might go to the cinema?’

  ‘Oh yes! Can we see Kango? It’s meant to be really good.’

  When she got back from the village Ellie was in the shower and there were two messages flashing on the answer phone.

  The first one was from Keith – short and breezy, making her smile – asking if she was free to go out for dinner on Thursday.

  Grace’s heart sank when she remembered that Nick had been going to babysit. She wasn’t sure she could ask him now.

  But the next message sorted that one out. Equally brief and to the point but with none of Keith’s jauntiness.

  ‘Hi, Grace, Nick here. If you want me to have Ellie, just let me know what night. I’m at work today so you can leave a message on my answer phone at home if you like.’ A short pause and then. ‘Hope you’re okay – bye.’

  ‘Hope you’re okay?’ If she listened to that message once, she listened to it half-a-dozen times, trying to analyse the exact meaning behind those words. Okay because of her panic attack? Okay because he’d kissed her almost senseless?

  ‘Oh sod it,’ she muttered, finally deleting it with a flourish. As if it mattered anyway.

  She wandered into the kitchen and put the kettle on, and while she waited for it to boil she fingered her way through the various bits of post and leaflets that had been pushed through the door. One envelope in particular caught her eye. On the top right-hand corner, in black felt tip, was written the words: BY HAND. And beneath that in the centre, just her name, GRACE.

  She opened it. Inside was a New Home card, and inside that, simply written:

  Welcome Home �
�� I knew you’d come back.

  She stared at it, frowning. It wasn’t signed and she turned it over to see if anything was written on the back. Nothing.

  The kettle boiled and she put the card carefully down on the worktop while she made herself some tea and sat down at the table.

  Her eyes strayed constantly back to the card. The words were harmless enough but it didn’t feel right. Was she being over imaginative – worrying excessively because of what had happened last night?

  But why wasn’t it signed … and why were these things happening now to unsettle her, just when she was getting her life back on track?

  On impulse she got up from the table and dropped the card in the bin.

  There … she was taking control.

  Better than looking at it, and wondering, for the next couple of weeks.

  CHAPTER-TWENTY-SIX

  The week dragged, drawing it home to Grace that the dire state of her finances wasn’t the only reason why she needed to get a job as soon as the summer holidays were over. In the meantime, she busied herself with her new project.

  She’d given a lot of thought to Nick’s throwaway comment about doing a degree. She’d looked into doing an Open University course and the more she’d investigated it the keener she was becoming. She was beginning to realise that there was still a lot of mileage to be had out of her life.

  By the time Thursday evening came, the night of her meal out with Keith, she was almost climbing the walls. She hadn’t seen another adult all week and as she applied the final touches to her makeup, she was looking forward to the prospect of a meal out and some adult company.

  Keith breezed in looking pleased with himself. ‘I got the last reservation at the Lakeside,’ he said, refusing her offer of a drink. ‘I think we’d better get a move on if we don’t want to lose it. You ready to go?’

  They sat at a table near the window and they’d barely ordered the drinks before Keith was launching into the reasons for the break up of his marriage.