The Ranger's Texas Proposal

by Jessica Keller

  “Wow.” Josie’s whisper held a hushed awe. “So many of them came.”

  Did she know what was going on? Why hadn’t she told him about danger at the ranch?

  Adrenaline flushed hot through his veins and the muscles in his back coiled as he tossed the truck into Park. If someone had done harm to the boys or destroyed property, they would have to answer to Heath. His heart pounded. His hands shook.

  If he had to—if duty called—he’d die for this place. Without hesitation.

  As his father had exactly fifteen years ago, to the date.

  He shoved his gun into his holster and threw open his door. “Stay here. I don’t know if it’s safe.”

  “Heath.” Josie reached across the cabin and latched on to his wrist. “Take a breath. Nothing’s wrong.”

  Couldn’t she see? Law enforcement didn’t show up in mass when everything was dandy.

  He was so focused on Josie and trying to make sense of her words, Heath startled when he heard Stephen speak behind him. “There you are. I’m here to escort you to the service.”

  Josie let go of him and scooted out of the passenger side.

  Heath pivoted to face Stephen. “What’s going on?”

  Red crept over Stephen’s pale cheeks. “We found out that there was never a service for your dad. After everything. Your mom had a private ceremony. No big honors?”

  Heath’s mouth went dry and refused to form words, so he nodded, only once.

  “Today we’ve changed that,” Stephen said.

  A dull ache spread through his chest. “You’ve what?”

  Josie slipped her arm though his and place her hand on his forearm. “Come on. Everyone’s waiting for you.” She propelled him forward.

  Rows of officers in their dress blues saluted as the three of them walked down the center of the aisle. At the front of the large gathering of people, which included all the boys from the ranch, the staff, many of the members of the Lone Star Cowboy League and a few familiar faces from around town, stood the major of Company F alongside Finn and his new wife, Amelia, and Heath’s sister, Nell, her boyfriend, Danny, and her daughter, Carly.

  Stephen went to stand beside Diego and Pastor Walsh.

  Nell handed Carly to Danny and ran to Heath, wrapping her arms around his middle in a fierce hug. “Can you believe this?” She was crying already. “Your friends are amazing.”

  “Did you know?” He hugged her back.

  “They told me last week, but they wanted you to be surprised.”

  Surprised was putting it lightly. Heath was overwhelmed to the point of having a hard time stringing together words.

  Heath took her hand and slipped it through his arm so he had Nell on one side and Josie on the other.

  Chuck, the major of Company F, made a motion for everyone to sit. “Last week I was contacted by two exceptional young men who wanted to right a wrong that had been done to one of the heroes from our very own Company F. Fifteen years ago a Ranger laid down his life while he was protecting the boys ranch and his sacrifice was never properly honored. Well, today, thanks to the dedication of his son—” Chuck gestured toward Heath “—to not let the case go cold, and to two boys—” at this he wrapped his arms to include Diego and Stephen “—who worked tirelessly to see this memorial happen, we can finally pay honor to a man we will never be able to thank enough and, moreover, will never forget.”

  Chuck motioned forward the honor guard, dressed in their pressed uniforms and white gloves. They marched until they were standing in front of Heath and Nell. They did an about-face and held a salute toward both siblings.

  Chuck stepped down from the small stage. “Customarily we would present you with the flag from the burial, which we do not have. However—” he motioned Stephen and Diego forward “—the boys ranch was able to produce the flag that has been flying at the old site for the past twenty years.”

  Stephen and Diego handed a huge, faded, torn and beat-up flag to the honor guard. When they started to walk away, Heath snagged both boys and had them stand in front of him, one of his hands resting on either of their shoulders.

  How could he have ever though badly of the boys here?

  God, forgive me. I misjudged this place—these kids. I was wrong.

  Chuck took a ragged breath over the microphone, evidently struggling with emotions, as well. “So you see, this very flag was flying fifteen years ago on the very day—this same day—that Ranger Marcus Alan Grayson paid the ultimate sacrifice.”

  In the distance, taps started to play as the honor guard turned and began folding the flag into a perfect triangle. Taps—even when he didn’t know the downed officer—always pulled at him...but being played for his father? Emotion balled and lodged itself into Heath’s throat. He swallowed a few times, but it wouldn’t go away. His eyes burned with tears—tears the fifteen-year-old boy had refused to shed.

  The honor guard turned to attention and held the flag out to Heath. “On behalf of the great state of Texas and the Department of Public Safety, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s distinguished service.” The man pressed the flag into Heath’s hands. “God bless you and your family, God bless the state of Texas and God bless the United States of America.”

  “Amen.” Pastor Walsh took the stage. “Today we honor the sacrifice of a remarkable man, but may it also remind us that those who love God are all called to do the same. In the Bible, the book of John tells us ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’”

  Diego turned around and looked up at Heath. “But you don’t have to die to be a hero, do you?”

  Heath bent a little and whispered, “I don’t know, son.”

  “I think you’re a hero. I don’t want you to die. That doesn’t have to happen.”

  Not knowing what to say, Heath put his hand back on the boy’s shoulder and straightened to his full height again.

  The pastor stepped off the small stage and continued down the aisle. “How much more so a man like Ranger Marcus Grayson, who was willing to lay down his life for people he didn’t know? Men like his son, our friend, Heath Grayson, who still answers the call by going into law enforcement.” The pastor stopped in front of Heath.

  Sacrifice.

  Lay down one’s life.

  From the beginning, that was what Heath had committed to, hadn’t he? He should be ready to lay down his life any second. Moments ago he’d been willing to do just that when he thought he’d have to protect the ranch.

  He shifted in his boots, moving closer to Nell and placing a gap between himself and Josie.

  Andrew climbed back onto the stage. “Jesus tells us that a good shepherd will lay down his life for his sheep. These men and women in uniform here today have taken a pledge stating they are willing to do that, but if you claim to be a Christian, that means you have also taken a pledge. One that says you are willing to sacrifice whatever you need to in order to honor God and point people toward Him. Please join me in prayer and then the boys have something to present to Heath.” Pastor Walsh bowed his head, but Heath’s ears were roaring so loud, he couldn’t make out the words to the prayer.

  I’ve taken a pledge to be willing to lay down my life.

  Both as an officer and as a Christian.

  Heath filled his lungs with a rattling breath. He’d asked God for guidance, and this was it—wasn’t it? He had no right being involved with Josie. Especially not with her being pregnant. She deserved a man who would be around for the long haul. He would not allow Josie or her child to suffer another loss. Flint was right. Leaving her—letting her be so she could find another man—was the only loving, sacrificial option on his table.

  * * *

  After the seven-gun salute, the boys presented Heath with a box they had decorated and
filled with notes each of them had written saying what they admired about him and how much they appreciated what his father had done.

  Heath left her side to mingle with some of the officers in attendance, but Josie kept an eye on him. Something was off, but perhaps he was simply feeling mixed emotions because of the significance of the day and, being a man, it caused him to clam up instead of process. Even though she’d known what he was struggling with, on the drive over she’d given him multiple opportunities to confide in her, and he’d chosen not to. That hurt, but Heath seemed to need to work things out alone for a while before he spoke. It wasn’t how Josie was wired, but she could respect that.

  As the crowd thinned and staff members began heading back to their daily chores, Josie found her place at Heath’s side.

  His smile was false. Frankly, he looked exhausted. “I wanted to thank you.” He didn’t meet her eyes. “From the get-go you told me this was a place of healing and I didn’t believe you. But you were right.”

  “Heath,” she whispered his name and stepped closer. After the other day at Dale’s grave site, where she’d prayed for God’s guidance...she’d known the truth. How she felt about Heath... Those kind of feelings shouldn’t be fought. They were worth every risk and danger in life.

  No one else was around. Go ahead, tell him now.

  She slid her hand onto his chest so it rested over his heart. “Heath Grayson, you deserve to know, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  “Please. Don’t.” As if she had sucker punched him instead of professing feelings, Heath’s face fell. He stepped back, removing her hand from his chest. “Please don’t say that.” Anguish laced his voice. “That makes what I need to say really difficult.”

  Did she hear him wrong?

  “I don’t understand.” The baby rolled. Josie hugged her stomach. “All this time. Me and you. I thought...”

  “I can’t be with you.” The muscle that ran along his jaw popped. “You shouldn’t want to be with me.”

  “Why not? Don’t you care about me? What’s wrong? Why have you been so kind if you didn’t have feelings?” She was tossing out every question she could think of. “How you’ve been acting, it sure feels like you care.”

  “I do care,” he said loudly, then lowered his voice. “But don’t you see? That’s why this can’t ever happen. I could die today. Tomorrow. Just like my dad.”

  “So could I. So could all of us. I could die in childbirth.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “Please, Heath.” She didn’t even care if her tone came out like a whine. Every action had proven that he was in love with her. Why was he denying it?

  Heath grabbed on to the fence and looked away. One of the goats trotted over and nuzzled him. He jerked his hand away, as if the goat offended him, too. “Josie, you’re wonderful and you’re pregnant and you deserve a man who—”

  “I want you.”

  The goat bleated long and low.

  Heath’s shoulders slumped. “We can never be together. Don’t you see that?”

  “Is it because I’m pregnant?” Irrational, but at the moment she was willing to toss out anything.

  “I can’t have a family. I’ve always known that. I lost sight of it because...” He closed his eyes and shook his head, unwilling to go on.

  She started sobbing. She couldn’t even blame pregnancy emotions this time.

  “Josie.” His voice broke. He made a movement to reach toward her, but then fisted his hand and let it drop back to his side. “Please. It’ll be okay. I just— You were right. All along. You need a man who doesn’t work a job like mine. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let us get close. This is best for you. For your child.”

  Now there were three goats with their heads rammed through the fence links watching them.

  “Are you leaving?” Josie choked out. If he didn’t want her, if he wasn’t in love with her, she couldn’t bear being around him.

  “At the end of the—”

  “I think it’s best if you leave. Now.”

  The chorus of goats bleated along.

  Heath glanced down at the goats and then back at Josie. “Now?”

  “Now.”

  “Yes, ma’am. If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.”

  He hesitated, but then tipped his hat and headed straight for his truck and left. Along with her heart.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Josie yawned and rubbed at her eyes.

  Unable to turn off her mind and uncomfortable both because she was pregnant and because her heart ached about Heath, sleep never came last night. Not for long anyway. When Katie swung by her house in the morning to pick her up, she’d urged Josie to stay home for the day and rest, but Josie hadn’t wanted to be alone.

  Alone would be the rest of her life.

  Sure, there would be her baby, but Josie realized that raising a child on her own might be even lonelier and more difficult than being a hermit. Her child was a blessing, of course, but a child asked questions about a missing parent. Questions that would remind her again and again that she wasn’t meant to be alone. One day—a day that would come sooner than she wanted to acknowledge because that was how time worked—after her baby grew up and moved out, Josie would truly be on her own. Forever.

  Because she didn’t want to fall in love again. Not unless she could be with Heath.

  Admittedly, Josie wasn’t much help at the boys ranch today. Diego had side-eyed her until he finally got Abby to convince her to come inside and talk. He promised to see to the calves if she stayed and visited with the ladies until she felt better.

  Sweet child. She wanted to hug him and promise that everything would be okay. That his calf buddy would be smiling again soon. But a woman didn’t just say a few words and feel better when her heart had driven off with a lawman in a truck the day before.

  Josie scooped up the decorative pillow on the couch and held it to her. It wouldn’t make the sharp pain in her chest go away, but it did help to hold on to something.

  Abby scooted closer, wrapped her arm around her shoulders and tipped her head so their temples were touching. “I don’t know what to say, but we’re here. We’re all here for you.”

  Marnie eased to the front of her chair so she could rest her hand on Josie’s knee. “Maybe he’ll still come tomorrow for the buffet.”

  Josie loosened her hold on the pillow so she could swipe at her eyes. “I told him to leave. I don’t think he’ll be back. I don’t even know if I want him to come back.”

  “What can you mean, sweetie?” Marnie asked.

  “I’m in love with him.” Wow. That hurt to say. Would it always? “And he doesn’t want me. I don’t think it gets much worse than that.”

  Abby lifted her head. “Did he say that? Those actual words? Did he say he wasn’t in love with you?”

  “He didn’t have to.”

  “Because sometimes men do strange things,” Abby said. “Before John and I were married, we once broke up for a week because he decided I should be with a man who made more money since my parents are wealthy and that’s how I’d grown up. Silly man. It was the worst week of my life.”

  “I think this is different.” Josie hugged herself again. She hadn’t felt this badly broken since finding out about Dale’s death on the heels of his saying he was leaving their marriage. Was that how her life would be? Men leaving her?

  First Dale left because he didn’t think she was capable of giving him a family. Now Heath was gone because she could give him a family.

  “He...he doesn’t want a family. Because of his position. He doesn’t want to be attached to me and the baby and have us face him dying in the line of duty like his father and Dale did.”

  Marnie picked up the teakettle sitting on the coffee
table and refreshed Josie’s half-gone cup of mint tea. “Well, I’m no expert in these things, but that right there sounds a whole lot like love to me.”

  “Him leaving? That’s love?”

  “No.” She batted her hand. “That’s plain foolishness. But the thought behind it—he cares about you and your child so much that he is willing to hurt himself in the present to save you from possible pain in the future. That, honey, is what we call sacrificial love.”

  “If that’s love...I don’t like it.”

  Abby moved to snag her cup of tea. “What I think Marnie is trying to say is that Heath’s actions are not love—he’s going about it wrong and he’s confused—but the motive behind them proves his love.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Marnie pursed her lips. “Confused is a good word for that man. He somehow thinks he can tell the future and that’s something only the good Lord is capable of doing. Heath’s borrowing tomorrow’s troubles instead of treating today as a gift. That’s the wrong I see.”

  “Can this year just be over already?” Josie closed her eyes tightly. “I’m so sick of hurting. That’s all this entire year has been.”

  Marnie clucked her tongue. “When all is said and done, don’t let temporary situations allow you to question God’s goodness or what He’s been doing in both your and Heath’s lives. I know this year’s been tough on you—between Dale and finding out you’d have a baby alone and now this mix-up with Heath.” She narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips and wagged her finger at Josie. “But I’ve watched you both over the past month. God has done great work in both your hearts. I believe He brought you two together for a very special purpose. What is that purpose? That’s not for me to know or say.”

  “I wish it was for you to say.” Josie stared at the ceiling as if she could find answers there. “It would be easier if the answers would fall into my lap.”

  “Maybe we’ll never see Ranger Heath again. There’s a chance of that. But how God moved in your heart because of that man? That you will always have and you’re responsible for holding on to and continuing the growth that started in your heart and spiritual walk.”