Wilde Like Me

by Louise Pentland

  Last year, though, was different. Last year I found that I didn’t need to do all those things. Letting go of all my misconceptions freed me from being my own biggest critic. Theo wasn’t the answer; no man is. I worked my (a bit untoned but who really cares?) arse off at work and it paid off; I didn’t always send Lyla in to school with the right sodding socks and she didn’t die; the PSMs aren’t what I thought they were (except maybe Val, who’s probably a lost cause); and the only person who was judging my mothering was me.

  I’ve spent all these years looking for the answer, the thing or person to rescue me, but ultimately I just had to do it myself, for myself. It just had to be me.

  This evening, as I gently removed each delicate glass bauble from the now sorry-looking Christmas tree and wrapped each one in newspaper ready for next year, I found big, hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

  Lyla gently stroked my arm and asked me: ‘Are you sad, Mummy?’

  I smiled at my beautiful little girl, and answered: ‘No. I’m so, so, happy.’

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Ahhh the Oscar moment of book writing, except here I’m minus a stage, a golden statue or a dress. I’m actually writing this at my kitchen table wearing a giant sweater and eating a packet of Wotsits – who says being An Author isn’t glamorous?

  I wouldn’t have this oh-so-glamorous life if it weren’t for some key people so, much like a lengthy but heartfelt speech at the Oscars, I’m going to share them with you now.

  My first thanks are to Maddie Chester and Abigail Bergstrom from Gleam Futures. Maddie is my Manager and from the very first moment I said, ‘I want to write a book about a single Mum and be totally realistic,’ she was on my team, telling me I could do it and not to give up, even that time I rang her crying after eating an entire bag of chocolates and doubting myself – she’s a good egg, the best egg actually.

  Abigail joined Gleam as my Literary Agent and sat with me in the early days, listening to how I wanted the book to pan out and reading countless drafts of my first proposals and putting me in touch with the best publishing houses out there, most notably Bonnier Zaffre, of course. She has been a gracious soundboard, calmly replying to messages day and night (sorry for that 1 a.m. one Abi!) and without her, I don’t think I’d have pushed through with my initial idea.

  Thank you, thank you Maddie and Abi.

  Through Maddie and Abi, I found the wonder that is my Bonnier Zaffre team. I knew instantly they were the team for me when Eleanor Dryden (my Editor Extraordinaire) took an idea I had for book two seriously and didn’t try to ‘fluff it up’. I have been continuously impressed by Bonnier’s gusto for Wilde Like Me and the never dwindling energy of everyone involved. Particular thanks must go to Emily Burns, Stephen Dumughn, Georgia Mannering, Nico Poilblanc, Vincent Kelleher, Angie Willocks, Ruth Logan, Sarah Bauer and Alex Allden for being top notch all round.

  On days when I’ve felt lack lustre and unenthused, I’ve remembered that there is a team of happy book bods working on the cover design and the promotion and the distribution (and forty-five thousand other things) and have been reminded that this is a team effort.

  A couple of other people I feel important to mention for all their hard work are Tara, Jamie, Nick, James, Asmaa, Felice, Eleanor (a different one to Eli The Editor) Kate and Mark plus Jenny H, Jenny P, Katie G and Kati N. I’m so grateful to be working with such marvellous people and to be part of their world.

  Eleanor Dryden, my Editor. Big, huge, wet sloppy thank yous. If I could stand on the spare pillar in Trafalgar Square and shout ‘thank you’, then I would. Since the day we rolled out a sheet of wallpaper over my lounge floor and scribbled all my ideas over it, to the day we sat in a swanky London hotel ‘love suite’ (long story) and said, ‘that’s it, it’s finished’, Eli has been incredible.

  Eli has forced me to go deeper with Wilde Like Me than I thought I could and it’s that pushing that, I think, has brought the very best out of Robin’s first story. There have been a lot of highs (ever drank too much wine and had a disco in the vaults of a ye olde building? We have!), a lot of over-sharing (poor Eli, I’m sorry for the time I graphically described that thing to you) and, a tiny few, but worth mentioning, lows (a call in December when I thought I was writing rubbish and Eli told me to shut my laptop and go out for the day – thank you).

  Through all of them, Eli has been steady, supportive, professional (we’ll not speak of the wine and disco again) and positive. Eli is more than the editor of this book, she’s also my friend and a joy to have in my life. Thank you Eli.

  As well as my professional marvels, my friends deserve a firm and loud ‘thank you’. Countless times I’ve declined invites for mooches around John Lewis (my favourite thing) or drinks at our tatty local pub (my second favourite thing) in favour of saying, ‘Sorry, the book’. They’ve never rolled their eyes or been annoyed, but instead offered playdates with their children for Darcy so I could focus or told me they’re looking forward to reading it.

  Special thanks go to Clare, Esther, Vicki, Emma and Auntie Judith.

  Thank you to Liam, the love of my life and man who has spent countless evenings sat next to me watching awful smashy action films whilst I typed and typed and typed. He’s spent so much time with me as I’ve written this that he now says he finds the sound of my keyboard soothing! For every achievement (the first chapter written, the first twenty thousand words submitted, the first draft fully printed out etc.), Liam has celebrated with me. He’s never complained that I can’t come out to play and never begrudged the days when my laptop has seemed more important than him. I hope that one day Robin Wilde will find a man as good as him, just like me.

  And finally, a funny thank you really because she can’t even read the words I’m writing yet, to my daughter, Darcy. Having never sat down and expressly told her I was writing a book, I didn’t think Darcy was paying my work life much attention. Why would you at that age? Occasionally she’d ask what I was doing and I’d say, ‘just writing, my love’ and she’d skip off to do something else. At her last parent’s evening I was invited to look through her work and on one of the pages I saw something that almost blew me over. The children had been asked to describe their parents and Darcy had written, ‘My Mummy is clever because she wrote a book’. I sat on the tiny made-for-kids-chair and cried. All these months when I’ve felt guilty for pouring so much into Wilde Like Me, she’s known and instead of resenting me, she’s been thinking I was clever.

  Reading that gave me the boost I needed to continue giving Wilde Like Me so much and has given me such pride. Darcy, when you’re older and you can fully read – thank you for thinking so highly of me. All of this is for you.

  I’m all emotional now and I’m out of Wotsits, so this feels like a good place to wrap up my Oscar speech. Robin Wilde is everything I want her to be. I love her dearly and I’m so thankful to all the other people who love her too.

  Coming soon

  Our heroine Robin Wilde returns in the hilarious – and a little heart-breaking – sequel to Number One Sunday Times bestseller Wilde Like Me

  Be the first to pre-order your copy and hear all the latest news about Louise Pentland’s novels at www.louisepentlandnovel.com

  Dear Reader,

  If you’re reading this then you have a copy of my first novel in your hands and frankly, that thrills me!

  Every word and page and chapter of this book has a piece of my heart in it. Aside from my actual human daughter, I don’t think I’ve ever poured so much love and time into one single thing in my whole life!

  There were times when I didn’t think I would ever finish this book or ever manage to write anything worth your reading. There were times when I felt so elated from finishing an amazing section that I actually fist-pumped the air. Alone. Haha, how sad!

  The thing that got me through those moments of self-doubt, though, was you. You holding this book in your hands (and, remember, thrilling me) and taking pleasure from reading it. I can’t wait for Robin
Wilde to be in more people’s lives than just mine. I can’t wait for more people to become her friend and love her for all her foibles. I can’t wait for people to want to give Auntie Kath a big cuddle or give Lyla a tight squeeze. Most of all though, I can’t wait for people to feel the warmth I hope this book exudes.

  If ever you’re feeling a bit low, if you feel like The Emptiness is knocking at your door, if you just fancy some company on a quiet evening or if reading is your happy place, remember you can always return to this book, visit your friend Robin and know that you, like her are surrounded by people who love and care for you.

  I want you to finish this book knowing that you are your own hero and you can do anything you set your mind to, just like Robin Wilde.

  Remember that you can, and should, always reach out to your friends when you need support. Or you can get in touch with me @LouisePentland (Twitter and Instagram), #WildeLikeMe

  I always love to hear from wonderful people like you!

  Big kisses and hugs,

  JOIN MY READERS’ CLUB

  Thank you so much for reading my debut novel!

  If you enjoyed Wilde Like Me why not join my Readers’ Club* where I will tell you – before I tell anyone else – about my writing life and all the latest news about my novels.

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  First published in Great Britain in 2017 by Zaffre Publishing

  This ebook edition published in 2017 by

  Zaffre Publishing

  80-81 Wimpole St, London, W1G 9RE

  www.zaffrebooks.co.uk

  Copyright © Louise Pentland, 2017

  Cover design by Alexandra Allden

  Cover illustration by Sinem Erkas (mother and daughter)

  The moral right of Louise Pentland to be identified as Author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN: 978-1-7857-6292-5

  Hardback ISBN: 978-1-7857-6293-2

  This ebook was produced by

  Palimpsest Book Production Limited,

  Falkirk, Stirlingshire, Scotland

  Zaffre Publishing is an imprint of Bonnier Zaffre,

  a Bonnier Publishing company

  www.bonnierzaffre.co.uk

  www.bonnierpublishing.com