Houseboat

by Paul Shadinger

  “The second piece of paper is a birth certificate showing Mr. Rockingham and Alice Rose Rockingham had a daughter, Jennifer Rose. Because we anticipated this meeting would take place, we also carried out the liberty of performing several tests. We took DNA samples taken from Mr. Rockingham’s body during his autopsy, and then from Miss. Rockingham. The third page you are holding has the test results from those samples. They show beyond any shadow of a doubt that Miss. Rockingham here is the daughter of Elmo Fester Rockingham, also known as ‘Slim’ Rockingham.”

  I thought to myself, “Oh my God! This is not what ol’ Audrey thought was going to happen.”

  Chapter 21

  The room erupted in pandemonium. I was as stunned as anyone. I had no idea Richard had arranged to have any of the documents for this meeting, and since the last two pieces of paper were ballbusters, that he had them so fast was incredible. My estimation of Richard has always been extremely high, but it had just increased. Immeasurably! This gunfighter just made a bullseye.

  Four of the five people at the end of the table were all shouting, each trying to be heard over the others. The nephew still just sat there with his arms folded across his fat gut. I heard Bottomsley wailing, “Ridiculous! It’s obviously a fraud!” I watched as Galante reached over and tried to grab the birth certificate out of Green’s hand. However, since Green still had a firm hold on it, the paper ripped in half. Richard wasn’t worried. He had several more copies of the birth certificate and the test results if anyone wanted them. Of course, nobody heard a word over the ruckus at the other end of the room.

  Finally, Bottomsley managed to raise her voice loud enough that everyone heard her. She screamed, “Shut up. Goddamn it! Will all of you just shut the fuck up!” And she slapped the table several times with her open hand. Somehow her language didn’t surprise me much. When I first saw her I thought she was a vulgar woman and her speech only proved it. “What does this shit mean, Green?” she screamed at the poor little man. He cringed under her onslaught.

  Before any of the others could speak, Richard smiled and replied, “May I have your attention? Quiet, please!” The din faded and Richard continued, “What it means Miss Bottomsley, is that Miss Rockingham is definitely the daughter of Elmo “Slim” Rockingham. And, as his closest relative, his only living relative, she will inherit his estate. That is, unless a will is found that dictates the distribution of the estate. Such an instrument has yet to be produced.”

  The nephew stood, looked at his aunt, and spoke, “Fuck this shit. I’m outta here. I’ll see you around.”

  Bottomsley told him to sit down, but the kid ignored her and started to leave the room. Green surprised all of us when he looked at the fat twerp, and told him, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll sit down. Now.” The porky brat scowled at Green and then waddled back to his seat and slumped down again.

  Chaos reigned. Jennifer and I sat quietly, but Richard remained standing. I don’t remember when it happened, but I noticed that Jennifer’s hand had found mine again, and she was now holding on tight.

  Finally, Richard rapped his knuckles on the table. “Please, quiet down!” He repeated himself several times. Finally in the most commanding voice I’d ever heard him use, he shouted, “Be still…all of you…now!”

  The room quieted down and Richard spoke again. “If everyone continues to talk at the same time we’re never going to get anywhere. Mr. Green, since you called for this meeting, why don’t you go first?”

  Green had a smirk on his face as he asked, “What proof do you have that this birth certificate is real?”

  Richard glowered. This was not the first time I’d seen him angry. To date, I’d never been on the receiving end of his anger, and I wanted to keep it that way. The room was silent as he stood there glaring down at Green. He leaned forward and when he finally spoke, his voice was low and menacing. “Are you suggesting that I’d bring in a counterfeit birth certificate? Are you implying that I’d cook up a false DNA report? Are you calling me a crook? Mr. Green, if your comment means what I think it means, I’d suggest that you tread very carefully. Because if you don’t, you might find yourself facing the biggest lawsuit for defamation you’ve ever seen, and it will be against you!”

  Richard continued to glare at the little lawyer and when he continued his words were clipped and tinged with anger, “As you can plainly see, there’s an official seal from the city of Santa Fe, New Mexico. Are you accusing me of faking that? If you’d like, I will be happy to give you the name of the person I dealt with and the phone number of the City Registrar’s Office.” Richard’s voice had never risen in volume during his whole tirade, but the effect was the same as if he’d screamed at Green.

  Green held up both hands, as if to ward off Richard’s comments. He actually seemed to shrink in his chair as he tried to apologize. “Mr. Silversmith, I apologize if you thought I was impugning your honesty. Perhaps I misspoke. We weren’t aware of this certificate and it’s a total surprise to us. I, no, that’s wrong. What I meant to say is that we, Miss Bottomsley and I, had no idea that her brother had a daughter until a few days ago. To my knowledge he’d never mentioned it to her.”

  Green glanced over at a very red-faced woman who vigorously shook her head negatively. The daisy on her hat bobbed as she shook her head. Every time she moved her head I had a hard time not laughing aloud. Green then looked at the two other men who were with them, “Were either of you aware that Mr. Rockingham had a daughter?”

  As he spoke, Galante shook his head. His voice was one of total distain, “Of course not, Don. You know that.”

  For a moment, Epstein sat quietly, and then cleared his throat. “Well, ah…I…well, um…”

  Galante turned on his partner, and in a disbelieving voice asked, “Julius, do you know something about this?”

  For a moment, Epstein fidgeted in his chair and then replied, “Well, a few years ago, when Slim and I were chatting he mentioned it was the anniversary of his wife’s death. I asked him what happened, and he told me she’d passed away a few years before, and every year he tried to go and visit her gravesite but this year he wasn’t going to be able to do that.” Epstein was now wringing his hands as he tried to explain. “I asked Slim if they had any children, and he said he had a daughter, but they hadn’t spoken in some time. He said for several years he’d had no communications with her, and he believed she lived in Europe. Slim’s comment to me was as far as his daughter was concerned, she was just as dead as her mother.”

  “And you waited ‘til now to bring this up?” Galante growled.

  Epstein was starting to become angry and retorted, “You said this whole thing was just a hoax. You said there was no way he could have a daughter without you knowing about it.” Epstein paused, as he recalled the specific incident with Slim. “Slim only mentioned it once, and if I recall the time it happened, well we were having dinner and there had been a lot of drinking and I…well, I kinda forgot about the discussion. Besides, what was I to think, you seemed so positive.”

  As I looked at Galante, I felt some concern because his face became very dark. He was so upset when he spoke spittle sprayed from his mouth. “Damn it, Epstein, you should have told me about this before now!” I watched as Galante visibly pulled himself together. He looked at Epstein a few moments more, and then muttered, “This isn’t over by a long shot. We WILL discuss this further. Later!”

  Green looked helplessly between his client and Galante. At this point, I decided to bring up a question which had bothered me since the first time I talked to Jennifer. “Excuse me, but I’d like to ask a question.” I’d aimed the question at Galante. He nodded his head, and he seemed somewhat grateful for the break in the tension.

  “Jennifer told me that each month she receives checks from her father, and she also said that your firm handled all of his affairs.” I paused, waiting for Galante to agree or disagree.

  Fin
ally he spoke, “Well, most of his affairs, but not necessarily all of them.”

  I continued, “If that’s the case, why is it that your firm had no idea he was making regular payments to her? If you handled the majority of his affairs, should you not have known?”

  Galante tented his fingers in front of his face. He seemed to stare in to the void between his palms. When he spoke, it was slow and very deliberate. “Slim was a very private man and there were several areas of his life he chose not to share with us. We were aware he had several bank accounts. He had several trust funds and some other holdings which he chose not to share with us. I know on several occasions that both Mr. Epstein and I tried to convince Mr. Rockingham to put all of his affairs with us. We requested that he do that for the ease of handling and all.

  “I know this sounds very self-serving, but if we’d been privy to all his affairs, this unfortunate situation would never have happened.” Galante pulled his fingers apart and motioned with open hands toward the people sitting around him at his end of the table. He continued, “We’d have known about Miss Rockingham.

  “In a way, I do understand why Epstein might not have thought it important to mention this to me. When I think about all the dinners Slim and I had together, and he never mentioned it once. There was nothing, not a thing about any children.” I thought that Galante and Slim’s relationship had been close, and perhaps this disclosure was both surprising and troubling to him. After a few moments he took a deep breath, and spoke, “Well, where do we go from here?”

  Bottomsley piped up, her voice whining, as she asked. “What’s to become of me? All these years I’ve watched over my dear brother. I’d always thought he’d take care of me in my declining years. He always told me that he’d make sure I’d not have any worries about my future. What will I do?” She turned to Green, “Does this mean I’ll not be getting any more checks?”

  Richard and Galante spoke in unison, “What checks?”

  Again, I watched, as Green seemed to shrink in his chair. He motioned for Bottomsley to lean over, and he whispered something in her ear. She pulled back, and glared at him. Between clenched teeth, she hissed back at him, “Tell them if you must.”

  Green nodded his head at Galante, “You mentioned you were aware Mr. Rockingham had several trusts and accounts you were not privy to. Well, I’m afraid this is another one. When Slim started in business, he set up a small trust fund to provide an income to Audrey. At that time, she was the closest thing he had to family. As his companies grew, the size of her checks grew. Many years ago, she came to me when she found out that he was getting married. She, Miss Bottomsley, wanted to have something in writing to insure that she’d continue to receive support from her brother but she felt uncomfortable speaking with him directly about the matter. So Mr. Rockingham arranged a trust fund, which he funded and the two of us administered. This provides Miss Bottomsley with enough of an income to cover her monthly living expenses and a little extra. Since he started this trust outside of his estate, I can’t see a reason why it should be part of it, or have to go through probate.”

  I was surprised when, out of nowhere, Dudley piped up, “How much more will we be getting then?”

  Richard answered, “Unless Miss Rockingham wishes to provide some portion of the estate to your aunt, only the money from the existing trust that your aunt receives will continue.”

  Dudley looked at his aunt, “You told me when the old fart croaked we’d be rich. You told me I could buy a new car and we’d have a huge mansion to live in. How come? What happened, you lied to me?”

  Bottomsley turned beet red, and she tried to reach over to pinch the young man on the arm to make him stop talking. As she reached out he pulled back, obviously this was something she’d done before. “Shut up!” she commanded him. “We’ll discuss this at home.”

  “I won’t shut up.” Dudley turned to Green and asked, “Is it because of that bitch,” and he pointed at Jennifer, “that auntie has to wait for her money?”

  Green replied, “Dudley, listen to your aunt, you need to keep still now.”

  “I will not, and you can’t make me.”

  “Dudley, shut up now! Shut up now or else.”

  I had no idea what Green had over the kid, but at least Dudley shut his mouth and slid down further in his seat. As he slid down, he pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, crushing the hair spikes. This kid may have been in his twenties but he acted like he was a toddler.

  Richard looked around the room, and asked, “Is there anything else?” It was obvious from the looks on all five of their faces that the meeting hadn’t gone as they had expected. When no one spoke up, Richard smiled and said, “Good, then it looks as if this meeting is over.”

  Bottomsley reached over, grabbed Dudley by his hood, and yanked him to his feet. “Come!” she commanded.

  As they left the room, I heard Dudley say, “You had better find some money real soon. I already ordered the new car, and it will be here next week.”

  All four of the adults spoke at the same time, “Shut up, Dudley.”

  As the door closed, Jennifer started to laugh. Suddenly the three of us couldn’t hold it in, and we all erupted in peals of laughter. Richard had tears running down his face from laughing so hard, and I did, too. Jennifer looked very relieved now that the meeting was over.

  When Richard finally had a grip on his laughter, he spoke directly to Jennifer. “Please understand I’m not trying to tell you what you should do with your money.” Jennifer nodded her head, and he continued, “But, if I were you,” Jennifer nodded her head again for him to continue, “I’d suggest that you look over your situation and make an offer to give her a small—a very small, portion of the estate.” He paused waiting for a reply that didn’t come, so he continued, “I doubt if they can win this in court, but on the off chance, if you can make it large enough, I’m sure she’ll take the money and run. This way she can save face, and maybe even buy little Dudley his car.”

  With the mere mention of Dudley’s name, I couldn’t resist any longer, “What an obnoxious little shit. He looked like he was in his twenties, but he acted like he was six or seven. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I really feel sorry for poor Bottomsley.”

  Richard smiled, “I’ll admit, his toothpick didn’t go through the olive.”

  With that comment, Jennifer started in once more in gales of laughter. When she finally could speak, she said, “I’d never heard that one before. He seemed almost a bit retarded.” Looking at Richard, she continued, “I can see why Matt has such high regard for you. Why don’t you come up with a number that you think will satisfy both Green and that woman? I hate to call her a woman, and then realize she and I are the same sex. What a mean vile person.”

  Richard looked at Jennifer and smiled, “This afternoon, I’ll have papers drawn up for you and delivered so you can examine them first thing tomorrow morning. If you approve, sign them and call me and I’ll have them couriered over to Green’s office by noon. That should more than likely remove any obstacles which might hinder us from settling the estate. Without the offer, all I can see Green doing is delaying the inevitable. However, this way it should go without any problems.”

  “How long will I have to stay in America?”

  Richard glanced at the calendar on his desk for a moment, “I think we can have this done in two to three weeks.” Looking back at Jennifer, Richard continued, “If it takes longer, you can go back home, and when it’s finally resolved, I’ll come to you with the papers for you to sign.” With a big shit-eating grin, Richard winked at her and said, “I never turn down a chance to visit Europe and I’m sure you know a lot of interesting places you can show me.”

  She smiled at both of us. “Actually, I’d love to see both of you. You know, if I wasn’t engaged to be married, I’d think one of you would be an excellent choice.” Her comment stunned me. I knew she li
ved with a couple, but this was the first she time she mentioned that she was considering marriage. I never had even thought to ask her if one of her lovers was her significant other. My only hope was that whichever of the two she planned to marry was worthy of her. I asked her if she needed a ride back to her hotel and she told me she’d appreciate it.

  On the way back to her hotel, she seemed at ease with the situation, but I still had a feeling something was eating at her. Finally I asked, “Why do I get this feeling there’s still something?” I paused, “Care to talk about it?”

  Jenifer continued to stare out the front window of the car as she took a deep sigh. “Well, yes there’s one small item. I can’t help but wonder who killed my father and why.”

  I snorted and responded, “You aren’t the only one. A lot of us are wondering what happened. At the moment the police are stymied, but if I ever find out I’ll tell you the whole story.”

  She smiled at me. “I know this is off the subject, but I’d love for you to come and visit me in Europe. Would you come?”

  I thought about the three of them for a moment, it would be interesting to observe first hand. “Yes. I think I’d like that.”

  “Then, it’s a date.” And Jennifer leaned over and kissed my cheek.

  I found I rather enjoyed that.

  I dropped Jennifer in front of her hotel and then headed home. My suit was starting to become rather confining and I knew BJ would be ready to go outside and visit the back lot when I got home.

  Chapter 22

  Even though it was a cloudy Thursday morning, I was still in a great mood because of the way the meeting between Richard and Bottomsley’s people had turned out. In addition, every time I thought of that funny little blue hat perched on top of Audrey’s blue curls, and the way the fake daisy would swing back and forth as she moved, I broke out laughing. When I considered how frightened Jennifer had been about the meeting beforehand and how well things turned out, it had been a great day.