by L A Cotton
“Oh Melinda, it’s not like we have neighbors to impress.”
“Well, no, I suppose you’re right. I tried to talk to Mr. Ballatine yesterday, and I could have sworn he growled at me. Growled, can you believe that? Would it hurt people to say hello?”
Dad reached over and patted Mom’s hand. She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. The move was taking its toll on her.
“Right.” I pushed off the table and stood. “I need to get out of these clothes. I’ll be down later.”
“I’m making your favorite.” Mom’s chipper voice followed me out of the kitchen, and all I could think was not even ham and eggs would fix this.
“Oh my god, Becca, what happened?” Lilly rushed over to me like she hadn’t spent most of the last week trying to avoid me.
“I, hmm, what?”
“You were at The Vault Saturday night? Why?”
“Why?” I barked out. “Are you for real? I was there because you texted me and invited me.”
“Me?” Confusion washed over her face, but then her eyes widened with realization. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah, oh shit.” Slamming my locker door shut a little too hard, I left Lilly standing there with her mouth hanging open while I headed for class.
“Becca, wait, wait up.”
Kids were looking. She was making a scene. But I didn’t stop; I kept walking. Nothing she had to say would make any of my weekend better.
Nothing.
“Will you just wait?” Her hand caught my wrist, and I spun around. “Lilly,” I warned. “Just leave me alone. You’ve already done enough damage.”
It wasn’t Lilly’s fault; I knew that. She hadn’t been the one to set me up, but she had dropped me just like Scarlett had, and it stung.
More than that, it hurt.
“I’m sorry, okay? Scarlett said—”
“What did Scarlett say?”
The color drained from her face. “Hmm, nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing.”
“Lilly …”
Her eyes shuttered, and she let out a sigh. “She said that perhaps it would be better if we didn’t invite you to Rogues or The Vault anymore.”
“I see.” I turned to go, but Lilly’s grip tightened. “Wait, Becca. I’m really sorry; I shouldn’t have listened to her. What we did, it wasn’t cool. I’m sorry. But please know I had nothing to do with what Kendall did.”
She doesn’t mean it, a little voice in my head scolded, but I wanted so badly to believe her, to believe that I had one real friend in this hellhole. If I was going to survive Credence, I needed to toughen up. To build my walls high and make them impenetrable. So why wasn’t I walking away from Lilly?
Hope sparkled in her eyes, and she smiled weakly at me. “I’d really like us to be friends, Becca. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. Scarlett … well, I wasn’t lying when I said she’s complicated. I’m sure she had her reasons for saying what she did.”
Yeah, and I intended to find out.
Lilly took my nod as an invitation to start walking with me. Releasing my hand, we walked to class, side by side, the events of the weekend hovering over us like angry storm clouds.
“I can’t believe Kendall did that. She really doesn’t like you, does she?”
“So you didn’t give her my number?”
“As if. I felt awful all week cutting you out. It was mean. But I figured that maybe it would make you less of a target, you know. Scarlett and Kendall have always had a beef.”
We reached my class, and I grimaced at the sight of Evan leaned up against the wall, one knee bent, his black boot resting on dingy white paint. His eyes flickered to Lilly and me, and he lifted his chin slightly.
“Is he …” Lilly gulped. Evan kicked off the wall and disappeared into class. “Did he just …Was Evan Porter waiting outside class for you?”
“No,” I said too defensively.
Of course, he wasn’t.
Was he?
Lilly’s eyes bunched together. “Hmm, well, I gotta get to bio, but you forgive me, right? You’ll hang with us today at lunch?”
“I don’t know Lilly, Scarlett—”
“Can go to hell. You need us. Kendall has it out for you, and I’ve seen what happens when no one steps in. It’s not happening again. Not on my watch, okay?”
“Okay, I think.”
Her smile brightened. “Good. I’ll see you later and here.” She slid her hand into her pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. “Here’s my actual number. Put it in your cell and text me when you get to class, okay? See you later.”
I walked into math and took my seat next to Evan. My stomach fluttered, the way it always did around him, but in his usual style, he ignored me. The butterflies subsided, replaced with frustration. It was easy to pretend he was no one—nothing—just another kid at school ignoring me. But my body remembered how it had felt when he held me in the parking lot. How he always seemed to be there, lingering in the background. It should have freaked me out. The way he watched me. Showed up as if he was always around, hiding in the shadows. Everything about Evan Porter should have screamed stay away.
It didn’t.
“Come on, please.” Lilly took my hand in hers, shaking it gently. “You have to come. Please, for me.” She pouted, and I couldn’t fight the smile threatening to break over my face.
“I don’t know. After what happen—”
“Scarlett will get over it. I want you there. Jay wants you there. Right, babe?” Jay’s head whipped up with a confused expression on his face.
“Huh?”
Lilly elbowed in him the ribs. “I was just telling Becca that we want her at Rogues tonight.”
“Damn right, we do. The Vault just wasn’t the same without you.” He winked, earning him an eye roll from me. “What? It’s the truth. You could have at least asked for backup for the big showdown between you and— ouch, what the hell, babe.”
“We’re not talking about that, remember?” Lilly glared at him.
“Oh yeah, shit, my bad.”
“It’s fine. I’m over it,” I murmured, letting my eyes wander over the courtyard. They landed on Kendall and her crew sitting in their usual seats inside the cafeteria. Laughing and smiling. Not a care in the world. I envied them … hated her.
“Becca?”
“Yeah?” I turned my attention back to Lilly and Jay.
“So you’ll come?”
“I guess.” It was either go or hide in my bedroom for the rest of senior year, and I’d spent too long hiding away. Not facing my problems. It wasn’t like Kendall could do much more than throw a few death stares my way or threaten me with a few scribbled notes.
Lilly cheered with excitement just as a bag slid across the table. We all looked up, and I tensed.
“What’s up?” Scarlett dropped onto the bench and shot me a half-smile. “Heard you caused quite the scene Saturday?”
“Heard you thought I’d be better off fighting my own battles?”
“Touché. Listen, about that, my bad, yeah?”
I shrugged and dropped my eyes, but Lilly hissed my name. “Yeah, I guess,” I whispered.
“So what’s up? We at Rogues tonight?”
“I was just trying to convince Becca to come,” Lilly said a little too chipper. I knew I wasn’t going to get an apology from Scarlett, but I didn’t just want to roll over and take her shit either.
“You should come.” My eyes snapped to hers, and she nodded. “Come. It was a shitty thing we did.”
“Yeah, it was.” I held her stare, and a smirk tugged at her lips.
“You’re not going to make it easy, are you?” Scarlett chuckled.
“No chance.”
“Fair enough. I deserve that. But you’ll come tonight? Lilly gave me shit all weekend about not inviting you to The Vault, and when we heard about what Kendall did … it shouldn’t have gone down like that.”
“I’m fine. What’s done is done.”
“Kendall won’t quit.
You know that. Things will get a lot worse before they get better, but we’ll deal with her. Together, got it?”
My reply lodged in my throat. I knew she was right—Kendall wouldn’t stop until she got whatever it was she wanted. I still didn’t know exactly what her problem was with me, but with Scarlett, Lilly, and the guys in my corner, maybe things wouldn’t get too ugly.
A girl could hope.
“I’ll pick you up at six.” Scarlett rose from the bench and made her way back to the main building. Lilly smiled wide.
“See, I told you she felt bad about everything.”
“I guess.”
“Oh, come on, Becca, she has a soft spot for you. That girl doesn’t apologize to anyone.” Lilly clapped her hands together. “And it means I don’t have to sneak around with you behind her back.”
“You were going to do that?”
“Well, yeah. I want us to be friends, Becca. With or without Scarlett’s blessing.”
“Okay, I think,” I said. These girls confused the hell out of me, but I liked Lilly a lot.
“Can we talk about football or sex now? Things just got way too chickified for my liking.” Jay pressed his hands down on the table, and I laughed.
For the first time in days, I actually laughed.
“I’m not going in there.” I folded my arms over my chest, trying to avoid looking directly at the faded giant clown’s mouth as it taunted me, daring me to enter its black abyss.
“Come on, Becca, it’s like a rite of passage or some shit. Everyone who comes out here does the Funhouse. You have to do it.”
“I wouldn’t go in there if you paid me.”
“Becca.” Lilly softened her voice. “If you really don’t want to, I guess you don’t—”
Scarlett hopped down off the wall and clapped her hands together. “No fucking way, Lil. We all did it, she’s”—she pointed at me—“doing it.”
“Scarlett, come on, it’s stupid.”
“Are you scared?” Vin taunted, and I shot him a glare. He held his hands up and stifled a laugh.
“Damn right, I’m scared.” I didn’t like the Funhouse at the best of times, but the Funhouse in an abandoned fairground in the dark … no, thank you!
“What about if we go with you?”
“Come on, ladies, you’re killing me here. The rules state—”
“The rules?” I arched my eyebrow at Vin. “And who exactly made up these rules?”
He thought about it for a second. “I don’t know, but I do know I had to do that shit on my own at Halloween.”
I rolled my eyes at him. The whole thing was ridiculous, but the kids of Credence High seemed to like their traditions and rules.
“I’ll do it if Lilly and Scarlett come.”
“Done. Let’s get this shit over. I need a smoke.” Scarlett stomped toward the black abyss into the Funhouse. Lilly slid her hand into mine and whispered, “Come on, it’s not as bad as it looks.”
I closed my eyes as we stepped inside, which was stupid since the place was pitch black. Lilly gripped my hand, and the guys’ laughter and heckling trailed into insignificance, replaced with the thunderous beat of my pulse against my skull. When I finally peeked open my eyes, Scarlett’s cell phone light cast an eerie glow around the hallway, lighting up the years of graffiti.
“You have to follow the route. One way in, one way out.”
“Great,” I mumbled, holding my hands out in front of me to avoid touching anything … or worse, anything touching me.
“We’ll have to go in a line. There’s a lot of shit in here.” Scarlett’s voice echoed off the walls, and I almost jumped out of my skin.
“I’ll go first, okay? Just keep your eyes on where I stand.” Lilly followed Scarlett, and I followed Lilly. It was cramped, a narrow passageway with flaking paint. The air was stale, and I cupped a hand over my mouth to prevent me from inhaling too much brick dust.
“Tunnel.”
The light up front with Scarlett illuminated a static Barrel of Fun. By the time I reached it, I could barely make out the edge and had to use my hand as a guide. My heart ratcheted up a notch as I ducked inside and hurried out the other side, slamming straight into Lilly.
“Oops, my bad.” I clutched the material of her jacket as she maneuvered around a corner.
“Rocking floor, some panels are missing so watch your step.”
My hands found the old rail, and I guided myself across, straining to make out the missing steps all while trying to keep my balance. It seemed to stretch on forever, and by the time I made it across, Scarlett and her light had already disappeared around the next corner.
“It’s the mirror maze next. Don’t panic, okay? First time I did it, Jay had to come in and rescue me.”
Panic surged through me but eased some when Lilly reached back and took my hand again. We turned the corner, and my eyes landed on numerous Scarletts, cell phone in hand, glancing around her.
“I fucking hate this part,” she grunted. “Over here.”
“Where?” Lilly replied. “You’d think we’d remember the route.”
“I’m convinced someone comes in and switches it up.”
No. Shudders rippled through me. Not possible, surely. My eyes tracked the echo of Scarlett’s voice, and I inched closer to Lilly, nudging my head in the direction I thought it came from.
“Come on.” Lilly moved further into the maze, letting go of my hand to put out her hands in front of her. I was ready to go after her when a noise from behind me caught my attention. What was that? I strained my eyes to see, but darkness closed in around me, and there was nothing but black.
“Lilly,” I hissed, my eyes searching frantically for the real her.
“Here, Becca,” she called back, but they all did. Scarlett had completely disappeared, taking the light with her. I fumbled in my jeans pocket, sliding out my cell phone. It lit up the space in front of me, and I hissed again. “Lilly, where are you?”
“Becca.” Her voice echoed around the room, reflecting off the mirrors, but it sounded like it was getting further away. The mirrors distorted everything, making it hard to concentrate; the fact my heart felt ready to explode from my chest cavity didn’t help.
With one hand holding out my cell phone, using it as a flashlight, I used the other to trace the path of mirrors. The first route I took was a dead end, so I doubled back and went a different route. “Scarlett, Lilly?”
“Becca.” Their voices bounced around the room, only confusing me more, and I wondered if back in the day the acoustics of this room was set up to do that—confuse fair-goers even more. The path wound around on itself until my hand hooked around a mirror that gave the illusion of being two mirrors side by side. I slipped between them and found myself in another dark passage.
“Lilly?”
“Over here. Jesus, that was awful.” Her face appeared in the cloud of light. “Come on, almost there.”
Thank god.
Lilly stuck to me like glue after that, and we made quick work of the uneven stairs.
“I can smell fresh air,” Scarlett yelled from up front, causing me to jump again. Lilly laughed softly.
We spilled out of the same door we’d gone through. Upon closer inspection, I could see it was divided into two. One corridor in and one out.
“They live to tell the tale.”
“Barely,” I said, my voice a quivering mess.
“You should see your face, Becca.” Jay came over and pulled Lilly and me into a bear hug. “I’m proud of you girls.”
Pressing my hand against his solid stomach, I slipped out of his hold, letting him have Lilly instead.
“Remind me never to do that again. I swear someone was in the room of mirrors with me.”
“Yeah, Lilly and Scarlett.” Vin snorted, earning him a shoulder punch from Scarlett.
“Shut it, dickwad. We lost each other. It freaked us out.” Something flashed in her eyes as if she actually believed me, and I shuddered. I’d had enough scary
fun for one night.
“You seem different.”
Evan sure knew exactly what to say to make me go 'huh?'
“I—”
His lips quirked up. “Smiling looks good on you.”
“Oh right, that.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Things are better, I guess. I mean Kendall still wants my blood, but I have Scarlett and Lilly so ...”
“You found your people.”
Closing my locker, I clutched my books close to my chest. It should have pleased me to hear those words, but a pang of something bolted through me.
All week, I'd hung out with Scarlett and Lilly. Tuesday, I worked at the diner for a couple of hours and then met the guys at Jay's garage. Mitch had given me some spoiled burgers and fries, which Jay, Vin, and Eric had practically inhaled. And then Wednesday, Scarlett had driven us downtown so we could shop for outfits for the party tonight. Aside from the one note in my locker yesterday and the fact that Evan had pretty much ignored me all week until now, things were good.
So why did I still feel like this?
Lost.
Floating like driftwood in the ocean, like I still didn’t truly fit in Credence High—that maybe I never would.
“Hey, what's wrong?” Evan tilted his head, watching me.
I blushed. It was impossible not to when he looked at me like that. As if I was some forbidden fruit not to be touched ... or tasted. Licking my lips, my mouth suddenly dry, I said, “Nothing, just thinking. Will you be at the party tonight?”
He shook his head softly, and I noticed his hair had grown out a bit. It looked good on him.
“Nah, not really my scene. See you around, Becca.”
Evan disappeared down the hallway, and I slunk back against the locker with a soft sigh and something that felt a lot like disappointment settling in my chest.
“You look freakin’ awesome.” Lilly clapped from the back as I climbed into the front seat of Scarlett's car.
“Yeah, looking good, new girl.”
“Aren't we past that yet?” I rolled my eyes dramatically, and Scarlett laughed.
“Yeah, you're right. We need a new name for you. Hmm, how about—”
