by L A Cotton
“Becca, yes, that works,” I interjected, unsure I wanted to hear any of her nicknames for me.
Scarlett smirked, pulling back onto the road. One of the football players was throwing the party, and since Eric played on the team, he got invitation rights.
“Talk me through it again. How did someone like Eric end up playing football?”
“What you trying to say, Becca? Us Emos can't play sports?”
“No, not at all. He just doesn't scream football player.”
“People change, I guess. He used to run with that crowd. All jocked up and then Mischa got sick, and things changed.”
“Scarlett,” Lilly warned.
“Chill. I'm not telling her anything people don't already know.” She glanced sideways at me. “If you want to know the ins and outs, you'd have to ask Mischa.”
I watched the town roll by. Eric and Mischa weren't around much, and when they were, they tended to stick to themselves. It seemed like everyone at Credence High had something going on. I was still unsure whether that made me feel better or not. We moved out here to leave behind the secrets and lies, yet since I’d arrived, it seemed my life was drowning in them.
It was just the little things.
What was it like growing up in Santa Barbara?
What were your friends like?
Did you have a boyfriend?
Do you stay in touch?
Mostly, I just smiled and deflected the questions with a vague answer. It was Kendall who bugged me the most. The way she watched me from across the hallway or the cafeteria. It was as if she knew. Knew that my life here in Credence was fake. Built on white lies and half-truths. Of course, it was impossible. She was no one—just a girl who took an instant dislike to me because I was different from her.
“I look okay, right?”
Mom had screwed her face up when she saw my outfit—a denim dungaree skirt that finished just above my mid-thigh—but I think it was the calf-length black boots, my latest thrift store purchase, that almost gave her a heart attack.
“You look amazing. The guys are going to die when they see you. Especially Vin.”
“I’m not interested in Vin,” I said, twirling the bangles lining my wrist.
“Well, he’s sure interested in you. He doesn’t shut up about you in history.”
“Oh.”
Lilly and Scarlett laughed, but I didn’t find it amusing. Vin was … well, he was a lot to take in, always watching me and making suggestive comments. It didn’t freak me out too much because he’d passed the ‘Scarlett seal of approval,’ but I didn’t want to have to deal with him, either.
“I love what you’ve done with your hair.” Lilly pressed her face between the gap of the two front seats and twirled a loose curl around her fingers. I batted her away.
“It’s just a messy bun, Lilly.” I’d spritzed it, piled it on top of my head, and tied a length of black material into it.
“Yeah, but it looks awesome. Do mine like that next time?”
“Sure.” I smiled to myself, feeling a spark of pride that my outfit lived up to their standards. I knew it was silly—seeking validation like that—but after my rocky start at Credence High, I needed to know I fit somewhere.
“Holy crap, everyone is here.” Scarlett let out a low whistle, and my eyes widened at the sight of what looked like our entire class gathered on the side of a dated house. It was bigger than many of the houses in Credence, with a huge yard that started at the side of the house and disappeared around the back. Cars lined the street and music blasted from hidden speakers.
“This is crazy; won’t he get into trouble?”
“The nearest neighbors are all the way back down the street. It’s the perfect party place, sista. C’mon.”
My stomach swished with nerves and excitement. When Lilly had first mentioned the party, my first thought was whether Kendall would be there. I wanted to go, either way, but when Scarlett told me she’d heard Kendall was out of town for the weekend, I actually felt excited about the party.
I’d missed this. Dressing up, hanging with my girlfriends. Mom had even agreed to let me sleep over at Lilly’s after meeting her earlier in the week. But it was surreal, and a part of me still had a hard time believing that I was here in this place at this very moment dressed the way I was.
But I’d earned one night of drama-free fun. Hadn’t I?
Jay presented us with another two beers. “It’s getting crazy back there. You should probably stick with bottles. I’m pretty sure I just saw someone spike the kegs.”
I smiled, accepting the drink. We’d found a quieter spot of the house. The yard, kitchen, and living room were crowded, full of drunken people dancing and partying. Scarlett had disappeared earlier, issuing me strict instructions to stay with Lilly and Jay. Vin had loved that.
“Ready to dance with me yet?” He searched my face, and I rolled my eyes, causing Lilly to snicker. “Seriously, Becca, you’re ruining my cred.”
“What can I say? It’ll take more than a few lame lines to snag a dance with this girl.”
Jay sprayed a mouthful of beer into the air, clutching his stomach. “I didn’t know you had it in you.” He high-fived me like a proud older brother, and I smiled, pleased with myself.
Vin, on the other hand, didn’t look impressed. He pouted dramatically, folding his arms over his chest. “Oh, it’s like that, is it?”
“It’s exactly like that,” I replied, throwing him my best ‘I mean business’ stare. A smug grin broke over his face, and his eyes glistened with mischief. “I never back down from a challenge.”
“Even if you know you’ll lose?” My eyes narrowed.
“Oh, baby, I never lose.” He winked before chuckling to himself as if I didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into.
Maybe I didn’t.
For me, it was all a bit of banter. Vin seemed harmless enough, and I felt safe with Lilly and Jay. Scarlett reappeared with Eric and Mischa, and the seven of us chatted and laughed over the music while the party went on around us.
“Good to see you here, Becca,” Eric said, and I said hello, making sure to acknowledge Mischa too. She smiled but didn’t speak, and I remembered what Scarlett had said on the ride over. I could see it now—his protectiveness over her. The way he guided her around, his hand on the small of her back. Their intimate conversations. The way he looked at her like she was precious. Fragile. They were obviously deeply in love, but it was more than that. They interacted like two people who had gone through something awful and come out on the other side. It made my heart ache.
Jay and Vin left to get more drinks, and Lilly came to stand with me. “Are you having fun?”
I nodded. I was, I really was.
“I’m so glad you came.”
“Me too, Lilly. Thank you, for everything.”
She hip bumped me and smiled. “Please, you were one of us from day one. It just took us a while to realize that.”
Scarlett slung her arm over my shoulder and slurred, “Damn right, you’re stuck with us now.” She had that sloppy post-high grin on her face. “Let’s dance.”
We went via the kitchen, grabbing new drinks from the guys before heading for the living room, a larger open space. The couch and armchair had been pushed back against the wall, and a guy stood behind a small turntable while a row of lights cascaded lines of neon around the room. Unlike my reluctance at The Vault that first time, I couldn’t wait to dance. My body moved to the beat instinctively, swaying and popping. Scarlett’s eyes were closed, her head thrown back, as she danced in circles, bouncing on her feet. Lilly reached for me, entwining our hands, and we danced close. Not close enough to attract too much attention from guys, unlike some of the other girls dancing. But with Jay standing guard over by the wall, it was unlikely anyone would try and make a move.
“I like this new you,” Lilly yelled over the music.
“I like this new me too,” I grinned back, feeling the energy pulse through me. I hadn�
�t felt this way in a long time. It was different from when I used to party back in Montecito—stuffy mixers and pretentious pool parties—but I liked it. Apart from the odd look, no one seemed to pay me much attention. Tonight, I was just one of the gang, not the new girl who didn’t fit in.
Lilly tipped her head back and drank the rest of her beer, waving the empty bottle in my face. “You want another?”
I nodded without reservation. The slight buzz I felt was nice. It made me want to keep dancing, keep partying.
“Awesome. Jay,” she yelled. “More beers.”
He was by us in a second, taking the empties and winding through the crowd. I looked over at his space, and Malachi stood there now.
“Are they always like this?” I’d noticed the way they looked after the girls. If it wasn’t one of them, it was another. Although since giving him the cold shoulder, Vin had yet to reappear.
“Yeah.” Lilly leaned in close. “You can’t be too careful at these things. Scarlett got spiked pretty bad once, ended up at the emergency room.”
My eyes went wide, and Lilly laughed. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything serious. But some people’s idea of fun isn’t the same as ours.”
At that stark reminder of just how different Credence High was from my old school, I reconsidered whether another drink was a good idea, but when Jay returned with two new bottles in hand, Lilly’s voice turned reassuring. “Becca, it’s fine. Let your hair down for once. You deserve it. The guys are taking it easy so we can enjoy the night. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise.”
“…what the fuck happened?”
“Chill, grumpy. You know how these things go sometimes. She’ll be fine. Someone probably slipped her a roofie.”
“And you think that’s funny? Shit, Peters. This was a bad idea.”
“She’s fiiiine. Now go, get out of here. She’s going to wonder where I went.”
My stomach roiled, making the faint voices disappear. I gagged into the bowl again, my whole body drained. “Ugggh. Water, I need water,” I slurred, reaching out behind me. A door opened and closed. There were footsteps and a bottle pressed against my hand. “Here, sip this.”
I rocked back onto my butt and lost my balance, but someone caught me. I peeked my eyes open. Through the haze, I could just make out Evan staring down at me. “You should try and drink.”
My head bobbed as I tried to sip the water. It hit my stomach, and I retched again. “I don’t feel so good,” I groaned.
“Come on.” Evan hooked his arms underneath mine, hoisting me up. My legs refused to cooperate, and I stumbled, but he held me firm.
When did Evan arrive? I couldn’t remember him being here, but then I couldn’t remember much past dancing. Lots of dancing. And then a black abyss.
“See you tomorrow, new girl.” Scarlett lifted a hand as Evan slid his arm around me, guiding me out of the house. He was so strong. I liked how small he made me feel—and I wasn't that small.
Not really.
“You're not as scary as you make out.” My voice was garbled.
“You think I'm scary?” He sounded half-amused and half … well, scary.
I bobbed my head forward. “Sometimes. You look all mean and dangerous and—”
His grip tightened around my waist as he cut me off. “I'd never hurt you, Becca.”
“I know.”
I did.
It was weird. We didn't know each other, not really, but my gut instinct told me I could trust him. He'd proved it more than once.
“For a small girl, you weigh a ton,” he grumbled, searching his jeans pocket for his keys. The Impala bleeped, and he made easy work of holding me up while opening the passenger side door and shoving me inside.
I plopped into the seat, and my head rolled limply against the leather. It smelled of Evan, the whole car did, and I inhaled deeply, letting his scent fill my lungs. Leather and coffee, or maybe it was cocoa.
“Did you just smell my car?” The almost playful tone was back in his voice, if a guy like Evan could be playful.
“Maybe.” I grinned like a fool. Maybe it was the alcohol or the fact I was here in Evan's car again, but tonight had been a good night. Except for the black hole when I tried to remember the rest of the night. But I didn’t want to dwell on that, not while I was with Evan.
Evan’s here. I dragged a hand to my face. “My face feels weird.”
“Close your eyes. It'll wear off.”
“Ugh,” I groaned, pressing my head into my hand to try to relieve some of the pain splintering through my skull.
“I think she's awake,” a voice, far too excited for my current mood, chirped.
“She looks pretty out of it to me,” another voice said.
I groaned again, rolling my tongue around my gross tasting mouth.
“See, there, she moved, Ev. She's awake, so can I make her coffee now? Preeeease?”
I peeked an eye open. Evan ruffled the source of the high-pitched noise’s hair. The boy smiled up at him, holding out his arms. He leaned down and swept him up, causing baby laughter to fill the room. “Make the noise stop,” I grumbled. “Please.”
They both laughed, and I said, “Evan?” My voice cracked, dry from the night before. The beer. The shots. Was I that drunk? Obviously out of it enough to forget how I’d ended up here.
Oh god, how embarrassing.
His eyes narrowed as he mouthed 'I'll be right back.' “Let's get you to the kitchen.”
The boy cheered, and they disappeared. I sat up, testing my coordination. My head thumped. My body felt heavy. My mouth was gross, and everything ached. The memory of how I’d ended up here—in Evan’s bed—was missing from my mind. I almost didn’t want to look under the comforter, but relief washed over me when I peeked an eye underneath and saw I was dressed.
Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the unfamiliar room. The walls were a dark gray color—the color of Evan's eyes when he was annoyed—with lighter stripes running around the top. There was a white desk and a dresser and the bed. It was only small and sparsely decorated, but somehow, it completely suited Evan.
Voices filtered through the room, and I sat up a little straighter, smoothing down my hair and checking my breath. As if it wasn't mortifying enough waking up in Evan's bed, I knew I had to look a total mess, but I was too hungover to care.
“We made coffee with marmallows.” The little boy raced into the room and jumped up on the bed, causing my stomach to lurch.
“Oh, wow.” I forced a smile. “That sounds …” My eyes collided with Evan’s, and I cocked an eyebrow fighting back the urge to gag. “Delicious.”
“I'm Eli.” He held out his hand eagerly.
“Nice to meet you, Eli.” I wiped my hand down my leg before taking his small hand and shaking. “I'm Becca.”
“I know. Ev told me all about you.”
“He did, huh?” I peeked over at Evan who stood by the door in silent mode. His expression giving nothing away.
“Right buddy, go play with your Legos. I need to talk Becca.”
“But we didn't eat the marmallows yet. You promwised,” Eli's bottom lip dropped, and I stifled a giggle. He was so damn cute. Evan approached the bed, hoisting Eli up and over his shoulder. “I know, bud; I'll get you extra, okay? Just don't tell Mom when she gets home.”
“Yay. See you later, Becca.”
I slid back down the bed and stared up at the ceiling, willing the memories of last night to return.
“How do you feel?” Evan leaned against the doorjamb, his arms folded across his chest.
“Like I'm dying.”
“You really should drink something. Maybe not the coffee but there's some water on the side.”
I glanced sideways at the bedside table, and there was a bottle of water. “What am I doing here, Evan?” I still wasn't looking at him. I couldn't. I didn't have the cute kid to disguise my embarrassment now.
“You don't remember?”
I shook my head slowly to avoid making
the pounding worse.
“Scarlett thinks you were roofied. You were pretty wasted.”
Roofied?
“Oh.” My stomach churned again, distracting me from the reality of what he was saying. “I didn't—did I do anything...”
“Besides puking your guts up in Bannam's toilet?”
“Ugh. Why would someone do that to me?” I pulled the sheet higher until it covered my face because I didn’t want to consider the possible answers. Evan moved closer, his hand gently tugging it away. He stared down at me. “People are dicks, but nothing happened. You’re okay.”
Because you saved me … again. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them. Instead, I asked, “How did I end up here? I didn't see you at the party.”
I definitely remembered that. I'd looked enough, hoping that he might show. He dropped down onto the edge of the bed and cupped his jaw. “I was passing by.”
“Passing by, right,” I murmured to myself.
“You should probably call your mom; your cell has been bleeping all morning.”
Oh, shit. Mom.
Evan reached over and handed me my cell phone. I groaned when my eyes landed on the five missed calls and two texts.
“She's a little protective, huh?”
“Something like that.”
“When you're done, wash up. The bathroom’s across the hall. And then come find us.”
I lied to Mom.
The party was great.
Lilly’s was great.
Everything was great.
Everything was not great. As my thick head lifted a little, the events of the night before weighed down on me.
Someone had drugged me.
It couldn’t have been Kendall—she was out of town—which meant it was someone else. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the night could have ended much differently if Scarlett, Lilly, and the guys hadn’t been watching out for me. How Evan figured into the equation, I still didn’t know, but I was glad he did.
I slipped out of Evan’s room and into the small bathroom across the hall. It was clean and tidy but sparse, just like his room. After scrubbing the makeup stains off my face and gurgling a blob of toothpaste around my mouth, I went in search of Evan and Eli. It wasn’t difficult to find them—all I had to do was follow the giggles. Eli was sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by toys eating marshmallows from a bowl while Evan sat on a small couch.
