Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters

by Christa Avampato

  All the storms of our lives have a purpose. Some show us how strong we are. Others show us what we care about and how much. And others are just there to show us how wonderful life can be when the storm has passed. Whatever the reason, they all matter, and the goal isn’t simply to survive the storms, but to thrive in their aftermath and delight in what remains once they’re over.

  If you’re facing storms now—and who among us isn’t?—I hope you find some comfort in the idea that no matter what the reason for your particular storm, there is something to learn. It may be buried deep; you may not see the lesson until long after the storm ends. But it’s there; like the sun and the moon and the stars, it’s always there.

  All storms eventually give way to brighter skies.

  Emerson got out of bed and walked over to the wall.

  “Kondo?” she asked. “Are you there?”

  She needed to ask him a question, but he didn’t appear. Her heart felt heavy.

  “Why is life so hard, Kondo?”

  The only answer was the sound of the waves going out to sea and then crashing back in.

  ‹›

  CHAPTER 43

  LOSE THE TRAINING WHEELS

  “Em, it’s time to get up,” Skylar said as she gently jostled Emerson’s arm.

  “How long was I asleep?” asked Emerson.

  “Long enough,” said Skylar.

  Emerson sat up in bed, rubbed her eyes, and adjusted her glasses. Her book was still on her lap, and she was wearing her clothes from the day before. Friday stood next to her bed wagging his tail in anticipation as Skylar rummaged through the drawers of the enormous bureau opposite Emerson’s bed.

  “I don’t remember that piece of furniture being there,” said Emerson.

  “It wasn’t,” said Skylar.

  Emerson thought about asking where it had come from, but her mind was too full to process another surprise. Things and people came and went too frequently around here to keep track of them all.

  On a tray next to her bed, there were muffins and a giant mug of hot tea. She said a silent thank you and picked up a muffin.

  “What are you looking for?” asked Emerson.

  “The vanderscope.”

  “The what?” said Emerson through a mouthful of muffin.

  “Here it is!” Skylar exclaimed. “Ready?” she asked as she turned back to Emerson.

  “For what?”

  “For a little adventure.” Skylar smiled wide and ran out of the room.

  “She’s back to her old self,” Emerson said to Friday. She grabbed another muffin and followed Skylar as she hurried through the Atrium.

  From the top of the stairs that led to the Lake of Possibility, Skylar called, “Come on, we’ve got all day!”

  Emerson looked at Friday. “Did she just say, ‘We’ve got all day?’” He barked in response. Emerson shrugged, and they went after her.

  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, the walls and lake were lit in emerald green. Truman was paddling around on his back in the lake, but on the ceiling was a picture of him on a cliff looking out over a golden canyon. He headed for the shore to meet them.

  “I’ve been dying to show this to you,” Skylar said to Emerson. She held a set of shiny gold binoculars that had several gears and knobs on either side.

  “Stand right over there,” said Skylar as she pointed to an area on shore about five feet away. Emerson did as she said, and Skylar looked at her through the binoculars. Emerson’s confusion grew. She had no idea why Skylar needed binoculars to look at her. She was right there.

  “It makes sense that you’re confused,” said Skylar.

  “How do you know I’m confused? Do those binoculars read minds?”

  “In a way,” said Truman as he pulled himself onto the rocky landing, completely dry.

  “Can I see them?” asked Emerson.

  Skylar handed her the device. “It’s called a vanderscope. When you look at someone through it, you can see their emotional state even if they’re not openly expressing it.”

  Emerson was dumbfounded as she turned the device over in her hands. Was it a good thing or a bad thing to always know what someone was feeling? She shuddered to think that someone could look at her through this and know things she didn’t want them to know. Then again, no one would be able to lie to her ever again so maybe it was worth learning how to use it.

  “I’ll show you how it works with the lake in a little while,” said Skylar. “Now it’s your turn to choose where we go from here.”

  For the past week, Emerson had spent all day every day in the lake with Truman and Skylar. Each day, one of her friends started their adventure by taking them through all kinds of landscapes and situations created by their imaginations. It was a game that tested her ability to stay calm and focused in challenging situations and to shift the situation in her favor by controlling her mind rather than having her mind control her.

  They faced off against charging rhinos on the African savanna. They swung through the forests of the Amazon and crawled along the floors of the jungle to find a safe path. The lake gave Emerson the chance to immediately see the results of her imagination and to see how her imagination could mesh with Truman’s and Skylar’s. What she thought in her mind manifested in the world created in the lake. She learned that she could change her reality in an instant just by changing her mind, for better or for worse.

  The lake was a time capsule of real-world events and imagined ones. Once Emerson made a choice and played through a scenario, the lake recorded it so that she could refer to it later and learn from her thoughts and actions.

  Today was her first time in the driver’s seat. She’d decide where they’d go and what they’d do. This was her chance to show Skylar and Truman the power of her imagination, the strength she had to build a world of her own. Her exhaustion melted away.

  “Are you ready?” asked Skylar.

  “I think so,” said Emerson.

  “If you get stuck, we’ll jump in and help,” said Skylar.

  “Okay,” said Emerson. “Let’s go.”

  The three of them sat on the edge of the lake and closed their eyes. Emerson imagined them on bikes at the top of a mountain. At the top, they’d find fresh, powdery snow. As they wound their way down the mountain, the air would get progressively warmer until they reached the tropics.

  “1, 2, 3,” she said.

  They plunged into the lake with Friday right behind them. The water’s balance between support and gravity now felt familiar to her. She opened her eyes and enjoyed the gradual floating down to the ground she’d imagined. Three bikes were waiting on the mountaintop. Everything had a soft glow about it, which stood in stark contrast to the scene of her mother and Cassandra struggling all those years ago. Those lines had been sharp and unforgiving.

  Once safely on the ground, Emerson felt the snow crunch beneath her feet. The wind whipped around her, and she smiled into the pale sunlight. She could see clear to the base of the mountain, where the ground was dotted with tropical flowers bursting with oranges, reds, pinks, and yellows. She looked out over the crystal blue sea and the sugar white sand that encircled the mountain, which was richly layered in trees and wild vegetation. It felt strange to be in the midst of winter and see all the other seasons swirling below her. Up here, everything felt untouchable. For a moment, she wished she could stay here forever and never have to deal with Cassandra. Would that be such a terrible choice?

  Emerson looked down at her hands in their perfectly fitted gloves. She was bundled in a warm hat and jacket. She looked at Friday, Truman, and Skylar, and they were all properly attired.

  “Emerson, it’s beautiful,” whispered Skylar. “Where are we?”

  “Hawaii. It’s the only mountain in the world that contains all seven climate zones. We’re going to ride these bikes all the way down t
he mountain until we get to the beach.”

  “Where’s this guy going to ride?” asked Truman as he ruffled Friday’s velvety ears.

  “He’s going to ride with you,” said Emerson. Starring intently at Truman’s shiny silver bike, she imagined a perfectly sized sidecar for Friday, and it slowly emerged into existence.

  “Whoa!” said Truman. “Skylar hasn’t been giving you enough credit, Em.”

  “Oh really?”

  “I just...I didn’t know if you could...yet...” Skylar stammered. “Em, I can’t believe you imagined all this. You’ve come such a long way in such a short amount of time. It’s amazing!”

  “Imagination’s a powerful thing, right?” asked Emerson with a smile.

  She had to admit that she felt more confident in herself than she ever had. She made this. All of this. Out of nothing but her mind. And she was just getting started. She had big plans, and now she had all the tools to make them possible. She’d had them all along.

  Emerson loaded Friday into the sidecar of Truman’s bike and then climbed onto her bike.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  “Lead the way,” Skylar said. Emerson could hear the pride in her voice.

  With her mind, she carved a path in the snow to make their trip down the mountain even and safe. She looked back at Truman and Skylar one more time to savor the moment and then faced forward. With a clear mind, she started to pedal. The crisp air filled her lungs and made her feel alive, refreshed, and renewed. She was beginning to understand the profound nature of peace through focus.

  They weaved down the mountain at a gentle clip, taking in the sights as they went. She’d never left the confines of New York City, so to be in a place where she could travel anywhere felt freeing. Life crackled inside her like a flame.

  If she could just find a way to make Cassandra and the In-Between disappear, she could spend her days reveling in nothing but her creativity. Was that too much to ask for?

  She still had no idea how she would deal with Cassandra and neither did anyone on the Council. Maybe she wasn’t ready; maybe she would never be ready. And even if Cassandra was gone, someone else from the In-Between might rise up to take her place. There had to be others who would carry on in Cassandra’s name, the way so many people had carried on after her mother. How would Emerson ever be able to have a real life as beautiful as the one in her imagination?

  Dark clouds formed overhead and drifted down onto the path. She tried to chase them away, but they multiplied and surrounded her.

  “What’s happening?” Skylar said.

  “Emerson, remember to breathe!” Truman yelled.

  Friday howled. Emerson tried to calm down, but her fears spiraled out of control. Up ahead, a figure loomed in the mist, shrouded in black. Emerson couldn’t see the face, but she didn’t need to. She knew who it was.

  The figure started to run directly at her. She swerved to avoid it and ran off the trail deep into the woods. She couldn’t hold the bike steady. She lost control and careened into rocky terrain. It felt as though someone else was controlling her thoughts and actions. Her legs were as heavy as lead, and she heard a screech as she fell hard onto the ground. Skylar and Truman were yelling, but she couldn’t make out their words.

  She lay in a heap on the ground sobbing and gasping for breath. Her stomach was burning, and her vision blurred. Friday nudged her face with his nose, and Skylar and Truman were beside her now.

  “Em, can you hear me?” yelled Skylar, her voice like a faraway echo in Emerson’s ears. She nodded. Her voice was gone, and her body felt like jelly.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Truman said.

  “I don’t know,” said Skylar. “I tried to jump in to help her, but I couldn’t. Something wouldn’t let me. Go get Jasper and Irene. Take Friday with you. Hurry, but be careful.”

  Emerson’s head was pounding.

  “Emerson, stay with me. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay. Truman went to get help. Jasper and Irene will be here soon. They’re going to help you. Just stay with me.”

  Emerson opened her eyes slowly. Skylar held her head, and up ahead, back the way they came, the dark figure loomed. Steady. Unmoving. Hands folded. Emerson pointed at it.

  “There,” she mouthed.

  “There’s nothing there. It’s just the path. It’s okay. There’s nothing there.”

  “Don’t you see it?” Emerson whispered.

  “See what?”

  “Don’t you see her? Looking at us?”

  “What does she look like?” asked Skylar.

  Emerson began to cough. Something broke in her lungs, and a salty taste filled her mouth. Blood.

  “Emerson, close your eyes,” Skylar said. “Imagine the figure turning around and walking away. It’s just someone walking by. Doesn’t mean any harm. Just let it go away. Let it go.”

  Skylar was crying. Emerson tried to calm down, but her face was burning. She started to shake, and then she felt the heat completely drain out of her.

  “It’s nothing, Em. No harm. No harm. No harm.”

  Footsteps rushed toward them, and tree branches snapped.

  “What happened?” asked Irene. She pulled Emerson’s eyes open from the eyebrows.

  “Look,” said Skylar as she handed Irene the vanderscope.

  Irene glanced through it. “We have to get her out of here—quickly,” she said.

  Emerson felt her lip pulled open, and a thick, cold liquid was poured into her mouth. It coated her teeth and tasted like sweet ginger. The cold filled her from head to toe in a matter of seconds. She felt a gentle rocking and then everything disappeared.

  CHAPTER 44

  THE HARDSHIP OF TEACHING

  Skylar watched as Emerson’s body went limp. Truman picked her up, and together they rose up through the lake and climbed onto the shore. The stunning world that Emerson had created through her imagination faded away as she did, into a deep and dreamless sleep. Raymond and Jasper were waiting for them.

  “Take her to her room,” Irene said to Truman.

  He carried Emerson up the stairs, and Friday padded behind them, forever her guardian and companion.

  “Is she going to be okay?” Skylar asked Irene.

  “That remains to be seen. An event like that can destroy her confidence and focus, and without those, this won’t work.”

  “What scared her so badly?” asked Skylar.

  “What she manifested in that figure is her deepest fear. Without a face and without a name, she looked into the abyss of her own doubts about her abilities.”

  “But she was so confident at the top of the mountain.”

  “On the surface, she is confident, but she doesn’t yet fully believe in herself,” Irene said. “She still feels less than enough. And there is nothing we can give her to remedy that. She will have to fight her way back.”

  “There must be something we can do to help,” said Skylar.

  “Fear is very dangerous, lethal even, for her,” said Raymond. “She must have absolute confidence in her capabilities. She cannot waver or question her skills. She must believe she is worthy.”

  “And how will she do that?” asked Skylar.

  Raymond scowled at Jasper. “I told you we were pushing her too hard,” he said. “She isn’t ready for all this responsibility. We cannot risk having Emerson meet her end the way Nora did.”

  “Raymond’s right,” said Irene.

  Raymond arched his eyebrows. “Can I get that in writing?” he asked, but Irene ignored him.

  Instead, she turned to Jasper. “We’re going to have to find another way to slow down Cassandra for now,” she said. “Emerson needs more time, more strength, more training. That’s not something we can force.”

  “Should Truman and I keep working with her?” asked Skylar.

  “No,” said Ra
ymond. “She needs to rest. Time is her best elixir now.”

  “But time is something we don’t have,” said Jasper. “We have to make a decision now. Either we commit to preparing Emerson or we commit to getting her to safety and find another way to stop Cassandra.”

  “Emerson is too young for this,” said Raymond. “She’s still a child, and no child should be asked to do what we’re asking of her.”

  Jasper’s face was gaunt, a look Skylar barely recognized on her grandfather.

  “Oliver must take Emerson and leave the city,” said Irene. “We’ve got to protect her at all costs.”

  “And those costs may be us,” said Raymond. “But we have to get her out of here.”

  Jasper knew Raymond and Irene were right. They had to get Emerson away from here as quickly as possible and develop another plan. They climbed the steps up to the Atrium, and Skylar and Irene went to check on Emerson. Jasper and Raymond stopped in front of Nora’s flame.

  “Are we doing the right thing, Nora?” Jasper asked.

  Nora’s flame hissed, startling Jasper. But Raymond remained stone-faced and unmoving.

  CHAPTER 45

  DIGGING FOR REDEMPTION

  Emerson pushed her way through a thicket of tangled branches as if she were opening an unruly curtain. Ahead of her was a clearing of golden grass laid out like a visual feast. The velvety sky above wrapped her in comfort. Her bare feet bounced lightly on the ground as she made her way across the grass. Her full-length crimson silk dress was trimmed in the same gold as the field and swirled around her, weightless.

  A handful of stars floated down from the sky and onto the clearing. They joined forces, and from them sprang a white winged horse. It galloped toward her, and she was captivated by its grace. It slowed as it got closer, stopping just a few inches away. It lifted her hand up with its soft muzzle and guided her to the middle of the clearing.

  The horse stopped and pawed the ground with its hoof to create a small fountain of water. The clear water caught the light, and shone as if it were polished silver.