When She Falls

by Jez Strider

  He’d shoved his hands in his pockets. His gun was in the truck and he was out of uniform. The last thing he wanted to do was bring another gun into the house. Candice had once told him she understood the need for guns, but that the images they stirred in her mind were too violent. The door was opened and he invited in before he could lift his hand to knock.

  “Hi, Jay.” She gave him a friendly hug.

  “You look nice today. Did you do something with your hair?” Already, he was veering away from the conversation he planned on having.

  “Trimmed the ends a little, washed it, and actually used the hair dryer. Thanks for noticing.” She smiled.

  In the nearby room, Jay could see the bouquet of roses. He wondered if he should have been bringing flowers the entire time instead of food and other necessities she had needed. A frown had spread across his face.

  “Are you still upset about yesterday?” Candice asked cautiously when she saw his expression.

  “I care about you. I think you know that. In the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been that long since… you know….” He wasn’t sure how to continue. Mentioning the tragedy was a quick way to upset her and that was the last thing he wanted.

  She nodded. “I care about you, too. Without your help, I would be in an even worse state than I am now.”

  “In truth, I am still upset about yesterday. Not because of how you reacted to the gun or anything like that. I can wait forever for you… until you’re ready for something more.” He stole another glance toward the gift from Sawyer. “What upsets me is how quickly you seem to be taken with that criminal.”

  Her hesitation in responding was enough to reaffirm his suspicions. There was no shock or immediate denial.

  Candice backed up a few steps and leaned against the wall with her head bowed. “It’s too soon for me to have feelings for anyone. I mean, you’re a catch, don’t get me wrong. As much as I want to lie to you right now, it would be unfair. Besides, I’m a terrible liar.” She gave an awkward laugh. “That Sawyer guy, seeing him made me feel like Logan was home. I don’t know why. They don’t even look alike, but I had this feeling I can’t explain.”

  “He’s not a good guy. I am not saying this for my own benefit or to convince you I’m the man for you. He is bad, plain and simple.”

  “I know. I did an internet search. It wasn’t hard to find out some unsavory tidbits. He doesn’t seem like he’s a terrible person. Maybe he’s changed.”

  Jay stepped closer, squeezing her arm a little with his hand. He wanted to grab her and shake her, but he didn’t. His touch was caring. She lifted her eyes to gaze at her friend. “That’s what con artists do. They find out about the victims and casually slip into their lives. It’s not difficult to find out information about a person. He’s after your money.”

  “You’re right. I trust your judgment. I will probably never see him again after yesterday, but if I do, I won’t open the door.”

  “You haven’t left this house in what seems like forever, yet you walk out onto the porch for a stranger. I’m not confident, but it is your life.” He said with a sigh.

  “Where does that leave us?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Candice shrugged. “Are we still going to be friends if we never have an intimate relationship?”

  Jay gave a curt nod. “Yeah, of course. I like your coffee too much to bail.” He was the one lying now. If she fell in love with another man, he knew their friendship would suffer.

  “Speaking of which, I’ll get you a cup.”

  It was a strained smile, but Officer Kershaw put his best effort into one for her. All he could think of was how much he hated Sawyer Verin and Candice’s infatuation with him. He planned on protecting her, if it meant following Sawyer around until he discovered a crime he could arrest him for. One more offense and the bastard would be locked up for a long time.

  All the work to get back to Candice had been hard. Logan was not giving up. He refused. A glance back over his shoulder told him the officer was still tailing him. His shift was going to be grueling if he was being watched all day. Logan kicked his brisk pace up another notch. He’d walked to work to save gas.

  “You look like shit, man. Were you up all night?” Matt asked as he pulled chairs down off the tops of the tables and sat them on the floor.

  “I didn’t get much sleep.” Logan mumbled shortly.

  “Anything I can do? If you’re jonesing for a fix, maybe we can hang out later to keep your mind off of it.”

  Logan shook his head quickly and held up his hands. “No, nothing like that. Girl trouble.”

  “You’re on your own there. My last girlfriend threw all my clothing out the window and when I came home it was all over the yard.” Matt laughed. “Crazy bitch.”

  “What did you do?” Logan was laughing as well.

  “Gathered up my shit and moved back in with my parents.”

  “I mean to make her that angry.”

  Matt gave a small shrug. “Man, I didn’t do anything. She was a wacko.”

  “My girl has always been a little crazy, but she is a great woman. Maybe today will go better.”

  Matt tossed Logan an apron. “Hope so. If not, I know plenty of chicks I can hook you up with.”

  “I will keep that in mind.”

  The work day went by faster than Logan had expected. He filled a box with leftover pizza from the evening shift. It was a mixed batch, but it was free. He hoped it would be better than showing up empty handed at Candice’s since he was literally broke again after buying the roses.

  He hung his apron in the back and started the walk back to get his car. Looking around thoroughly, he saw no sign of the stalking policeman. About two-thirds of the way to his car, a torrential rain started pouring down. Lightening flashed and thunder rumbled the ground beneath his feet. By the time he’d reached his car, he was drenched from head to toe.

  The ignition took a couple of tries, but the car finally kicked to life. A distorted voice over the radio sent out a weather advisory telling everyone to stay inside unless travel was absolutely necessary.

  Great. He thought, shifting into gear and heading out. It was dark before he finally pulled into Candice’s driveway. He’d had to drive slowly. I need to replace these windshield wipers when I get paid.

  Grabbing the wet cardboard pizza box, he shoved open the car door and took off running onto the porch. In a matter of seconds, he was soaked through again. Not that he’d had a chance to dry off from the first time he was caught in the rain.

  He took off his work cap and ran a hand through his messy hair before taking a deep breath and knocking on the front door.

  Candice bookmarked the page in the book she was reading and tossed it on the end table. She’d read it before, but it was her favorite comfort paperback with a tattered cover and worn pages.

  “Coming!” She called out, tripped over the corner of the rug, and toppled into the door, barely catching herself with her hands. Company wasn’t expected, but she figured it was Jay checking in on her. Wrong. Her breath left her when she saw Logan through the much used peephole. “What do you want?” She finally managed to say.

  To tell you that I’m still here and I love you. His inner voice answered, but he called out, “I had some pizza leftover at work and I thought maybe we could share it.”

  “Leftover pizza?” Her fingers squeezed the lock on the door between them, but she didn’t turn it. “Why are you bothering me? I don’t have any money. My fiancé….” For a moment, her voice caught in her throat. “He died and I don’t have anything left but this house. I’m behind in payments on it, so there’s nothing you can get from me.” Jay had said Sawyer was after money, so she was pretty proud of her lie.

  “I don’t want any money. Ever since we spoke, I can’t get you off my mind. I want to get to know you. That’s all. No obligations.”

  Giving in, she unlocked the door and opened it for him. “You know my boyfriend is a cop, so don’t try
anything stupid. He’ll be here at any moment.” She was getting good at this lying thing.

  “Candice, right?” He gave her the most uplifting smile she’d ever seen. Why was he so happy to see her? With a lifted eyebrow, he looked her over. She had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing her favorite pajamas with sheep. “Sorry about the wet box. It’s crazy out there.”

  He was still talking when she finally remembered to step aside and let him in. “Candice Harworth is my name.” Another lie. She’d never had the chance to get married, let alone change her name.

  “Like the jewelry place?” Logan asked, trying to remain calm when he really wanted to grab her, hold her close, and kiss her until neither of them could breathe.

  She took the pizza box from him and carried it into the kitchen. “Yeah.” After putting a few slices on a plate and grabbing drinks, she returned to the living room. “I was going to watch TV. My favorite reality show is on tonight.” They started to take a seat, but Candice held up her hands.

  “The shows are kind of comforting. Nice to see people are more screwed up than I am.” Logan laughed. “What?” He asked, noting her hands indicating for him to stop.

  “Let me get you something to wear and a towel.”

  “You don’t have to….” He started, but Candice shook her head.

  “It’s fine.” She went upstairs and pulled out a few drawers. Eventually, she found an unopened pack of white t-shirts and pulled one out. Then, she grabbed a towel out of the linen closet before heading back downstairs. “Here you go, Sawyer.”

  “Thanks.” He turned his back to her and right there in her living room, lifted his work shirt off. Muscle on top of muscle filled her vision. When he turned to face her, she barely looked away in time. She could feel her face burning red hot. “A little tight, but it fits.”

  “Good. It was new.” She gestured toward the sofa and picked up their plates.

  As he had always done, Logan picked off the mushrooms on his pizza and placed them on Candice’s plate. Slowly, she chewed on her food as she watched him perform the familiar action. If he was a con artist, he was good. When he caught her staring at him, he realized his mistake and stopped. “Sorry. I always did that with my ex-girlfriend.”

  “Lot of guys must not like mushrooms. Weird. I forgot you said you didn’t like them or I would have given you a different slice.” She turned on the television to be greeted with only the sound of static. Another flash of lightning lit the house and then the power went out. “Shit. I know I have some candles somewhere.”

  “Be careful. You could fall in the dark.” He stood up, following behind her as she headed to the kitchen and started rummaging through a junk drawer.

  Candice knew she should be scared. It was storming and there was a strange man in her house with an unflattering reputation. Oddly, it was the first time she’d felt safe in a long time. She couldn’t understand it, but it was too much of a relief for her to analyze. Her hand wrapped around a candle and she found a lighter. “Got it. Let’s go back in there.”

  “Okay.”

  She lit the candle and placed it on the table in front of them. It was small and did little to light more than the immediate area. “Better than nothing.”

  They ate without talking for a long time, the sound of thunder, lightning, and hard rain the only noise. Logan tried to think of the perfect thing to say, something to make her fall in love with him, a sentence profound and moving. Nothing came to him except the pounding of his heart.

  “You’re only the second person I’ve let in my house, heck even talked to, in forever.” Candice said.

  “Why is that? You’re afraid to go outside?”

  “Ever since the shooting. I’m sure you heard about that.” She said and Logan nodded. “I’ve fallen to pieces. Right now, I feel like I’m making progress, but it’s hard.” She gave a short laugh to cover her embarrassment.

  Logan started to reach out and pull her close, but when he lifted his arm toward her, he changed his mind and let it fall to his side. “I’m sure it is. The world can be an awful place, but there are great things out there you’re missing.”

  “Like what?”

  “Traveling, campfires, stars in the sky, and shopping. You’re a girl. You have to love to shop, right?” He asked.

  “Wow, could you stereotype me more?” She asked, but with a good natured smile. “Shopping….” Her eyes rolled quickly.

  “It was a bad joke, I guess.” He returned the smile.

  “No, it was true.” She laughed, but it turned into a squeal when a loud crack of thunder made her jump.

  “You can come closer. I promise I won’t try anything.” Logan offered.

  “Sawyer… what was it like when you died? I read it in the paper.” Candice asked, scooting a bit closer.

  He leaned forward, putting his plate on the table. “Peaceful. I had this vision of a beautiful girl in my mind. Like you, telling me it was okay. When I woke up, now that was painful.”

  “Was there a light? Why didn’t you go?”

  “I overdosed, you know? I guess it wasn’t my time. There was a light, yes.” He answered truthfully.

  “If I tell you something crazy, will you promise not to freak out?” She was full of questions.

  “I promise.”

  “You remind me of my fiancé.” She leaned in and inhaled Sawyer’s scent. “You don’t smell like him. Although, you do smell good. I can’t pinpoint it and it’s driving me nuts.”

  Logan had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her the truth, or try to anyway. “Maybe it’s a similar attraction. Pheromones, is that what they’re called?”

  “Yeah. Maybe. Can you hold me for a while? God, that sounds pathetic.” Candice covered her face with both hands.

  He reached out and gently tugged her hands away. “Hey, I know what it’s like to be alone in the world. Trust me.”

  Trust him? She wanted to, wanted him. “I’m afraid. I don’t want to cheat on my fiancé. I know he’s dead and he’s not coming back, but I feel terrible. I don’t even know you.”

  “You do know me. Some people know each other when they first meet.” He placed his hand over his chest and patted where his heart was. “In here.”

  Silent tears streamed down Candice’s cheeks and she had to look away. Logan’s hand went up to her cheek and he wiped one away with his thumb. “I don’t know.” She repeated over and over.

  “It is okay, Candice. There’s nothing you have to do. We can sit here and listen to the rain. Alright?” He said.

  Now, she was shaking her head. “Kiss me. Just one. I… need to know.”

  Logan leaned forward. Her lips were trembling as he carefully pressed his against hers. She’d said only one, but he found himself unable to stop caressing her soft lips with his own. It was a moment he’d been waiting months and months for. Even the storm seemed to stop for a moment and the only sound was the steady rain.

  “Do you know now?” He asked, not entirely sure what she’d meant.

  “Yeah. I know.” She whispered. “Did I taste like pizza?”

  He looked directly into her eyes before answering. “Tasted like love.”

  The confused, but loving expression on Candice’s face made Logan’s heart leap. Did she really know? Had he made a mistake by not playing the role of ex-addict Sawyer Verin more convincingly? He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. She needed to know he’d come back for her. That he always would.

  Candice’s hands went out and rested on either side of his head as she peered deeply into his eyes. She was exploring his face as if to find evidence of who she thought he was. Logan didn’t move, but closed his eyes when she ran her hands through his hair.

  “Are you really in there, Logan? Is this you?” Her questions were low, but the intensity of her voice held a hint of mania. “This is where I lose my mind completely. Or maybe this is a dream.” She pinched herself hard and winced. “Ouch!”

  “It’s me. Nothing could keep me away. Not even
death.” He was afraid she would really lose her mind after the revelation. What if she kicked him out of the house and never spoke to him again?

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and burst into tears. “I am so mad at you for leaving me.”

  One hand went up to the back of her head, cradling it softly against his chest as the other stroked her back. “I’m sorry you went through this. I have suffered waiting to come home. They made me go to rehab because the guy’s body I needed was an addict. It was the only way back to you.”

  “Never leave me again.”

  “No matter what happens, in the end we will find each other. It may not be in this world, but somehow, we will always be together.” He sighed deeply in relief, his own tears falling. “I didn’t think you would believe me.”

  “My heart recognized you. Kiss me again.” She said, still in a hushed voice, as if their supernatural reunion was forbidden. Her lips brushed across his neck, his cheek, then pressed against his mouth once more.

  Logan wanted to wrap her in his arms, embrace her deeply, and never let go. “We should make sure this is what you want to do. I don’t want you to decide I’m lying in the morning. You would hate me, or worse, yourself.”

  “When have we ever been successful at being prudent around each other?” She grabbed him by the pants and unbuttoned them. “You’re home. We love each other. That’s all I need to know.” Every short sentence came between kisses. “Convince me this is real.”

  “You’re right.” He helped her strip out of her pajamas and dropped them to the side of the sofa in a small pile. It had been a long time since he’d touched her soft flesh, tasted her skin, or seen her expression while lost in ecstasy. He covered her body with his, taking his time to lick and kiss her sweet spots. Every inch he knew by heart. She was writhing beneath him before they’d even joined. “I love you.”

  Her body arched beneath him. Logan could hold back no longer. He’d been lucky to focus solely on her pleasure for as long as he had. As they were making love, he knew he was home where he belonged. When they released together, he bent down and kissed her lips for a long time. He refused to move away and the way she was clinging to him told him that she didn’t want to let go.