If he only knew the truth, he’d be far from worried. But I still hadn’t told him about the millions I had in a separate account. “I won’t use any of it.”
“You don’t have to. Just,” he pulled, drawing me closer, “take this next step with me.”
My smile was automatic. “Is that what this is about? A step?”
The side of his mouth lifted. “Is it so bad that I want you mine in every way there is? You being on my account just helps me accomplish that even more. Plus, it does make me feel better. You’d have everything at your control. I trust you. I’m trying to show you that. I want us to share our life together in every way.”
Fluttering tickled my stomach. I wanted it too, more than anything. “Alright,” I said lowly. “You can add me. Doesn’t mean I’ll use it, but I think I’d like to take the next step with you.” Trapped in his stare, I would have done anything he wanted. To say I adored him was putting it lightly. I was falling in love with him. Maybe already had…it was scary the lengths I would go for him while we were in the moment.
“It’s settled then.” His hand grasped to my throat gently, pulling me forward until my lips connected with his. I drank him in, moving against the hardness under his pants as our pace became fevered. Michael’s hand gathered the back of my lace panties, pulling up with just the right amount of pressure to tease my clit.
“Sir,” I purred, not sure exactly what I was asking for. Pleasure? Pain? A delicious mix of both? All I knew was I needed him with everything I had. I was consumed by a man for the first time in my life and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
Fingers gripped into the back of my thighs as he lifted me. I held around his neck, crushing my breasts into him. When he started walking in the opposite direction of our room, I knew exactly where he was taking me. Only three times had Michael unleashed the extent of his monster, but each time he did, it’d been in what he’d referred to as his dark room.
Shivers raced down my body, a slight tingling that crept up my spine like a ghost of a sensation. There, yet hidden deep within. To say I wasn’t scared would have been a lie. Even though I welcomed the pain, the fear was always present. Not concerning him, but myself. That I’d beg for more than I could take. Plead for things a rational person wouldn’t.
The door swung open at his push and I turned. Black walls made the space look dim even with the light on. A Saint Andrew’s cross rested in the back, a spanking bench not far away. But, he didn’t head in that direction. We swept passed the stocks and my eyebrows drew in, confused. I was stood to rest against the wall as he began lighting candles. Nothing around gave me a hint as to what I’d be undergoing.
“You asked me what I wanted out of our future. I never got around to telling you.”
My gaze rose to meet his, but I kept quiet.
“I love you, Anne. I think I have from the beginning.” He unbuttoned his jacket, taking it off and tossing it on the bed behind him. “Do you love me?”
The hammering of my pulse was deafening, but not so much so that the confession escaped my attention. I swallowed hard, testing the words in my mind that I’d never said to any man before. “I do love you. I…”
The cool wall behind me made a shiver race down my body, sinking the temperature down to my bones. Even with as cold as I felt, sweat began to surface.
“To hear you say that...”
He walked back toward me, all predator, ready to devour me whole. I was lifted, my legs spread wide as he pinned me with his weight. The burn that traveled down the outside of my thigh from his nails had all of my anxieties disappearing. The passion we’d had minutes before resurfaced with each mark he inflicted.
“We’re going to make things official right now,” he breathed out. “A forever vow, no looking back. No breaking it. Before you know the terms, you have to accept.” Pain flared as his fingers dug in. Even though he was talking, I still tried moving against him.
“A vow?” I breathed hard, trying to focus, to wade past the lust induced fog I was drowning in.
Teeth nipped at my neck and shoulder as he nodded. Only after he was done sucking along the sensitive area at my throat did he lift his head. “You’ve told me you’re views on marriage. Engagements. They may be for some people, but we’re different.” He licked his lips. “I’m not saying I’ll never marry you. I will. But, this is more than that. This will seal our bond more than any ring or piece of paper, Anne. This will be forever.”
Forever. So final. And yet, I didn’t dread the thought concerning Michael. But, did I want to make a vow to him? I knew what the phrase implied. He’d never let me back out of it, if it was what he wanted. Something in that thought triggered excitement. A sick, twisted form, but a true thrill that surpassed anything I could think of.
“I’ll vow myself to you.”
With the words came such a true sense of happiness from Michael. How many people got married? Tons, probably hundreds, if not thousands a day. I always said I wouldn’t do it, but wasn’t what he and I were doing basically the same thing? Just…privately? Yet, here I was, ready to agree to be his forever. Reality flickered for the briefest moment, disappearing as he swung me around and walked over to his rack that held all of his tools. At the knife he pulled from the top shelf, my breath caught and I gripped around his neck tighter. What had I gotten myself into? Even as I asked, the part of me that craved the pain latched to the idea like it was heaven. I’d never been cut and suddenly, I wanted it more than anything in the world.
“You’re positive?” He walked me back over to the wall, setting me down. “I want you to know what this means.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off the blade as I listened. What did he plan to do with it? “It means I’m yours, no matter what.” The handle was thrust into my hand, the weight heavier than I’d expected. “Good. You do understand. And, I’m yours.” His shirt was ripped opened, causing buttons to fly to our feet. The scene was so surreal that I almost couldn’t believe it was really happening.
“Make your mark, Anne. Right over my heart. And I’ll make mine next.”
My hand hesitated. I may have wanted the pain, but I hadn’t considered giving it.
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “I’ll bleed for you.”
Our eyes connected and I was back home. Lost. His. The hard muscles of his chest drew me in and I raised the tip of the blade, fascinated as I zeroed in on the defined peck I’d raked my nails down so many times. The scratches hadn’t lasted, but this would.
Over and over, the word, forever, pounded into my brain. It was all I could think as I dragged the knife down and carved an A into his skin. The three inch cut held me in a trance. Blood poured from the wound and I heard or saw nothing but what I’d just done. What I’d made mine.
The knife was eased from my hand and, still, I stared. “I love you.” Muffled, I’d heard him speak, but it didn’t register until my shoulder was clamped onto and pain like I’d never experienced had me reaching out and sucking in air at the same time. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.
“No moving, baby. To be there, always, it’s going to hurt, just like the ups and downs. That’s why we have each other.”
A loud cry fell from my lips at the next cut. I noticed he dragged out each line. Taking his time. Making me feel what he was branding me with. Tears trailed down my cheeks, but the wetness didn’t compared to the arousal I was slammed with as his hand pressed between my legs. I nearly came on contact, and it only grew more intense as his finger slid deep inside of me.
“God…” The knife dropped to the wood floor, echoing loudly in my ears. His touch disappeared and I was pulled into his arms, our chests sliding against each other with what we’d just done. “Forever.” The taste of his mouth took me over and the pain only brought my needs forth, more. I clutched to him like nothing else mattered and, in that moment, it didn’t.
Chapter 8
Michael
Something was wrong. I couldn’t shake the feeling that had my fists clenched
and my head swirling. Five days in Hong Kong. Five long fucking tortuous days and each one had been worse than the next. I looked down at the phone. Anne’s number was on the screen. I’d called it a million times this morning and no answer. What had happened between talking to her last night and now? She’d seemed fine, if a little distant. She said she was happy for me pulling through the deal and closing in record time. So, what? Was she hurt? I couldn’t imagine someone breaking in. Did she get in an accident on the way to the post office…run into Liam? I growled, pissed that I’d neglected to have my own talk with him yet.
My bags stood at the door to the room, ready to go. In less than twenty-four hours, I’d be home. Again, I hit her number. Hi, this is Anne. Sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back with you. Beep! “Anne, it’s me. I’m about to head to the airport. Call me as soon as you get this.”
I hung up, wanting to toss the phone against the wall. Instead, I called the front desk to my building. A woman answered, one I wasn’t familiar with.
“This is Michael Barnett, penthouse. I need someone to go up and check on my girlfriend, see if she’s alright. She’s not answering her phone.”
“Oh, Mr. Barnett, I do believe you’re referring to Ms. Johnston.”
“Yes,” I breathed out.
An uncomfortable silence had me pulling at my collar.
“I’m sorry, Sir. I was told to deliver a message to you if you were to call.”
My heart nearly stopped at her tone. It didn’t sound like good news. All I could think was that my Anne had somehow hurt herself and was in some hospital somewhere. Or, worse. And here I was, halfway around the fucking world with nothing to do but wait out the flight.
“The message reads: Michael, my cell is off. This is intentional. There’s a letter for you on the bar.”
My lips separated in utter disbelief. “I bet your pardon? Are you sure that message is for me?” Even as ridiculous as I sounded, I knew it was. After all, she had addressed me. “Listen, forget that question. When did she leave?”
There was a slight pause and then the woman cleared her throat. “Half hour ago. Maybe a little more.”
“Was there anyone with her? Was she carrying anything? Did she look okay?” My mouth was moving just as fast as my brain. What in the hell was going on?
“I’m sorry, sir. Other than a small suitcase, Ms. Johnston was alone. And, yes, she looked fine. I mean, her eyes were a little red, but she didn’t appear sick or injured in any way.”
Crying. Why?
“Thanks.” I hung up, hitting Anne’s number again. Voicemail immediately kicked on making the anger and fear even worse. “I just got the message you left for me downstairs. Call me right now. I’m serious. You need to tell me what is going on. You. Not anyone else.”
A knock sounded at the door and I hung up, stalking toward my exit. I threw open the barrier, barely looking at the boy who’d come to collect my bags. “Take them to the car.” My voice was almost unrecognizable, thick with toxic rage. Adrenaline skyrocketed, every scenario I could imagine pushing to the forefront. A secret lover? Money…my breath caught. No. Anne wouldn’t. Even as I knew that, I pulled up my account from my phone. Other than my bills and withdraws. Nothing. Not a dime was missing concerning her.
Fuck. I felt like yelling that one word at the top of my lungs and smashing my fist against the glass wall of the elevator that surrounded me. Why wouldn’t she call? How come she hadn’t told me she wanted to leave?
I lifted my hand to run my fingers through my hair, pain flaring in my chest at the sudden movement. My hand went right to where she’d carved the first letter of her name. No, she loved me. She’d said the words. Vowed to be mine forever.
The elevator opened and my steps ate the marble floor beneath my feet. A man jumped out of my way as I nearly barreled over him. The driver of the limousine opened the door, not missing my approach. The moment I climbed in, I grabbed a miniature bottle of Scotch, downing it. I didn’t stop until the five bottles were gone and I was racing up the steps to get on my private jet.
“You get me back as fast as you can,” I snapped as I passed the pilot. Even as I said it, I was dialing Anne’s number again. I froze when it actually rang. It hadn’t the last time I’d called. That meant she’d turned it on. She knew I wanted to talk. She fucking owed me the truth of what was going on.
“Michael.” A sob echoed through and my anger receded.
“Fuck, Anne. You have me scared half to death. What’s going on? Did you leave me?” My hand came out, motioning Gilbert, the co-pilot, to hold on.
“I’m so sorry.” A sniffle rang out loudly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t do this anymore.” She paused. “I panicked.”
My knuckles turned white as I gripped the tan leather cushion of the sofa I sat on. “Don’t panic. Just go home. You’re mine, remember. Things are going well. Don’t run from what you know is right.”
“Right or wrong, I’m not sure. God…” Another long sob tore itself from her and I felt my own heart break. What had happened in the few days I was gone? Jesus, everything was perfect when I’d left. “Anne, do you hear me? Go back to the penthouse.”
Another sniffle. “No.” There was a strength in her voice. A tone I knew well. “I’m not going back.”
“Yes, you are,” I said, anger once again taking over. “You can’t leave me. I’ll find you. You will come home.”
“Goodbye, Michael. Don’t forget about the letter on the bar.” The phone disconnected and with it, my fist slammed down next to me.
“Fuck! Let’s go,” I shouted.
The phone clattered across the table at my toss and I lowered my head, rubbing my temples. I needed more Scotch. Or, Brandy. Hell, something. This was going to be one flight I’d never want to remember and I was about to try my damnedest to make it so.
****
Dear Sir,
I want to start off by saying that I don’t take what I’m doing lightly. I’ve never lied to you. I do love you. I love what we share. But I can’t continue down this road. Not like this.
I’ve always been afraid of what I held inside, but you taught me to embrace it. I have. Maybe too much. When we said our vows, I made a huge mistake. Not the vows themselves, but letting my need for you to hurt me overpower the significance of our beautiful moment. For that, I’m the sorriest. I’m ashamed of the person I’ve become. I think I’m truly out of control.
This may all seem confusing to you, and I’m sorry for that, too.
Just so you know, my family thinks we’re out of town, so unless you want them to know we’re having problems, please don’t contact them. And don’t bother going to my apartment. There’s a new tenant renting my old place. Finding me will be impossible. Your best bet will be to not even try. Again, I’m sorry.
Love, Anne
What the hell? I tossed the note down, my head throbbing with each step I took to our room. If she was leaving me, why not tell her family? Why pretend we were out of town? Nothing made sense and only caused the headache to increase.
I pushed the bedroom door open, scanning the clean space. One look at the nicely made bed sent me into a rage. I didn’t even get the satisfaction that she’d been sleeping in our bed. A growl tore from my mouth and I ripped the white comforter off. Pillows went sliding from both sides and I narrowed my eyes as a paper fell from the nightstand, right at my feet. I leaned over, groaning at the pressure behind my eyes.
A list of names and addresses had me shaking my head. It was her postal list. Had she already mailed the packages off, or had she forgotten it in her rush to leave?
I backtracked back to the living area, sweeping to the back room where Anne kept all of her merchandise. The paper fell from my hand and I felt more confused than ever. Had she taken anything with her? It was like she didn’t plan on staying gone. Maybe she knew I’d find her and bring her back. Maybe that’s what she wanted. I shut the door and walked over to my laptop, punching in her
website address.
Not taking orders at this time.
How was she planning on making it? If she didn’t have money coming in, how would she survive?
I needed answers, to figure out where I should even start searching for her. Dallas was big, but I couldn’t see her going too far away. She had said she’d told her family she was out of town. If I called, they’d know something was wrong. Not that I had any of their numbers anyway. But, Anthony…
My phone was in my hand and I was dialing before I knew what to say.
“It’s almost midnight,” he said in greeting.
I looked down at my watch, surprised. I hadn’t even considered the time. “Sorry. I…” My hand ripped the tie loose. “Anne’s gone. I need to find her.”
There was a pause. “Hold on.” The sound of rustling was followed by a feminine response. My interest piqued while I tried to place it. I knew that voice. After a few seconds, I heard a door shut and wind was suddenly making the phone sound muffled. “Michael, I can’t talk long, Sarah’s here. Now, what’s going on?”
I impatiently pushed the curiosity aside. It wasn’t relevant. “Has she said anything about Anne?”
“Well, yeah. She’s said lots of things, but nothing about her leaving you. Are you sure she’s gone, because I think Sarah would have mentioned it. Hell, they were talking not two hours ago.”
My hand rubbed down my face and I walked over to the sofa, collapsing. “She’s gone. I’ve already talked to her. This just doesn’t make sense. Everything was perfect. Then, she ran. I don’t understand it.”
Anthony lowered his voice. “What do you want me to do?”
He knew me. Knew I loved her. I’d told him as much in our random phone conversations throughout my and Anne’s relationship. “Find out how I can locate her. I’m going to bring her home.”
“I might be able to help, but if I tell you something, you have to promise that you didn’t hear it from me.”
“You have my word.” I felt myself straighten from my slouched position.
Watch Me Page 9
