“They’re meeting at Los Pablos for lunch at one. I didn’t tell you that. I’ve spent weeks trying to get Sarah to go out with me. If you ruin this, I’ll never forgive you.”
I walked over to the kitchen counter, picked up a pen and wrote the name of the restaurant down on the small white notepad I kept there for business calls. “You have nothing to worry about. Thanks, brother. I owe you big time.” I hung up the phone, feeling better now that I knew where to find her. So, she hadn’t told her family she was out of town after all, she just didn’t want them to know we weren’t together. Interesting.
A smile came to my face. Anne was up to something and I was going to find out. She’d never even know I was there. Watching. Waiting for the right moment. And, it would come. Once I followed her to where she was staying, I’d put together a plan. One that would not only teach her a lesson, but would make her see that she was meant for no one but me. I’d forced her to face her fears before, and I was all too happy to do it again.
Chapter 9
Anne
If I didn’t stop crying, I was going to drown. I hated that I’d left. Hated knowing that Michael was home right now and here I sat, eating with Sarah. She thought I had a cold. That was the only way I could describe the puffy, swollen, bloodshot eyes, but the truth was, I missed him. Missed feeling protected and whole. The hollowness was back, but with its arrival, I was introduced to a new breed of emptiness. This one held more sorrow than numbness. My soul was tumbling down a black hole of heartbreak and all I knew was I had fallen in love with a monster, and with it, discovered that I may have been the biggest one of them all. No, I didn’t like to inflict pain, but I craved it almost every waking hour. Every time I saw Michael, I looked at his hands, hoping he’d use them to somehow hurt me. Fuck, I couldn’t escape this new hell I found myself in. I was either going to be miserable without him, or even more so denying who and what we were.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You look horrible, Anne. I can’t believe Michael even let you leave the house feeling as bad as you do.”
I inwardly cringed. “It didn’t really kick in until I was on my way here. It’s fine. I’ll pick up some medicine on my way home.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to leave now? I don’t mind.”
My head shook as I grabbed the soda and took a drink. “We already ordered, there’s no use leaving now. Besides, I’ll be fine after a few days. It just needs to run its course.”
“If you say so. I still think you need to go get some rest. Are you going to be okay to drive home? I can call Michael and have him pick you up.”
“No,” I rushed in. “Really, it’s fine. Enough about me. Tell me what you’ve been up to lately. I haven’t heard from you since we went shopping, and my phones been on so you have no excuse.”
Pink tinted Sarah’s cheeks and she looked down. “I’ve been around.”
“And…you’re hiding something.”
A laugh left her lips and she shrugged. “I’ve been talking to Anthony. Lord knows he’s been trying like hell to get me to go on a date with him now for weeks. I finally did last night.”
I felt my stomach drop. Had Michael called his brother since I’d left?
“How did that go?” Even as I asked, I knew. From the smile that was on her face, it was obvious.
“Unbelievable, actually. He’s…different than the other guys. Persistent. I like that.”
Of course he was. He was almost an exact replica of Michael.
“Anyway,” she continued, “I might have spent the night with him.”
We both laughed and I shook my head. “Should I ask how that went?”
Sarah paused, twisting her mouth. “Truthfully, I’m still trying to process it. He kind of blew my mind. I’m still in a weird mood, trying to figure out how he’s so damn good.”
With another blush, she looked down. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised on that account either. Michael sure as hell had that effect on me. “Well, I’m happy for you. From what I’ve heard about him, Anthony seems like a great guy. Michael raised him right.”
“That reminds me,” she said. “I think he called late last night. Anthony didn’t say, but I got the feeling it was him. Was everything okay?”
Tears welled in my eyes again and I wiped my nose that was beginning to run again. “Oh, yeah, everything is great. I went to bed early so it could have been him. I’m not sure.”
“Oh.” She nodded and we both leaned back as the waitress walked up, placing our plates down. For the life of me I couldn’t stomach the smell. Nothing was appealing since I’d decided to leave. Since I had woken up the next morning and was faced with the big red M that was resting on my chest. It was a constant reminder of who I’d become, and it killed me. I loved that it symbolized him, but was sickened by how much I wanted him to do it again.
“God, I love this place.” Sarah inhaled deeply and started to dig in. I picked up my fork, but my attention drifted off to the window we sat next to. As I stared into the busy parking lot, I let my mind run. Nothing in particular registered. All I could process was the aching in my chest. Until I could determine who I was and what I wanted, I’d be here, a drifter to my dilemma.
“Earth to Anne.” Sarah’s finger tapped against my forearm and I looked over, confused. “Do you want me to get you a to-go box? You haven’t eaten a bite. Not that I blame you, I don’t usually eat much when I’m sick either.”
“Oh. No, that’s fine. I’ll just make some soup at the house if I get hungry later.”
She nodded and time blurred while we paid and walked back outside. I looked over at our cars parked side by side.
“Look at that,” Sarah gasped. “Anne, someone stuck a white rose on your windshield.”
My eyes immediately scanned around, fear and excitement making me shake. Was it Michael? Had he found me? I’d secretly like to think so, but I couldn’t see the possibility of that happening. Not unless…I turned wet at the thought that there was a chance. Especially if he had talked to Anthony. “It’s probably a mistake or something. I should go,” I breathed out. “I really need to climb into bed.”
“You’re right. You’re looking a little pale. Are you sure you don’t want me to call Michael?”
I forced the best smile I could. “I’m positive. It’s only a ten minute drive if traffic isn’t bad.”
We both walked up to our cars and I pulled up the windshield wiper, dislodging the beautiful flower.
“Call me when you’re feeling better, we’ll do this again.”
“You bet.” I got in the car, letting her pull out and leave. My head turned and I really surveyed the area, taking in every vehicle that rested in the surrounding lot. I didn’t see Michael’s anywhere. Maybe it had been a mistake like I’d told her. Or Liam, although I really doubted that. He’d been completely off the radar since I’d threatened him.
After a few minutes, I backed out and headed to my new place. I didn’t want to go there. The ache to drive home and beg Michael to forgive me almost had me taking his exit, but I stayed on course. It was wrong for me to lead him on when I had doubt of whether or not I’d be happy being the sick one. At least Michael could control his urges. I had yet to figure that part out. He didn’t deserve to have me so unstable. But would I ever be able to accept it? I just couldn’t see that happening.
Traffic made the twenty minute drive closer to an hour. I was so exhausted when I’d finally arrived that I ran into the door, thinking I’d unlocked it. The key was still in the hole and I’d yet to turn it. I cursed and locked it behind me, kicking off my shoes and dragging myself to bed. Sleep pulled me under within minutes. Dreams wrapped around me tightly, casting projections of Michael in his true dominant form. I kneeled before him, staring up at the God I viewed him as, begging him to forgive me. As he lowered, glaring angrily at me, I cried harder. But, my sobs turned to laughter. Hysterical, crazy, evil laughter. I stood, narrowing my eyes at him, challenging who he was with who I’d become. Monster f
or monster. He began to circle me, studying the new person in front of him. A knife appeared in his hand and I let the dress I was wearing fall to the floor.
I flew to a sitting position, gasping for air. I’d been so close to walking forward and letting him carve me alive. It may have been a dream, but I had no doubt I’d do it in real life. Fuck, I needed help.
The room was pitch black and I reached over, flicking on the bedside lamp. Wetness was on my face from crying in my sleep and I wiped it away, reaching for my phone. The time read a little after eight. I almost couldn’t believe it. A growl sounded in the room and I looked down at my stomach. Now that was believable. I hadn’t eaten much breakfast, and lunch hadn’t happened. If I was going to make it through the night without making myself sick, I needed to find something for dinner.
The white, cheap metal headboard squeaked as I rolled out of bed. For as fancy as this place was, it sure had cheap furnishings. It was the best I could do in such a limited time. They’d given me the apartment with barely any notice and I thanked my lucky stars that it came with anything inside it at all.
Again, tears surfaced, and I was pissed that I had no control over them. I yelled in aggravation as I ripped the knee length trench coat Michael had bought me from the hanger and slid it on. Hell, I hadn’t even undressed when I’d gotten into bed. I was still wearing the dark pants, red shirt, and socks.
As I brushed my teeth, I tried not to think about how different things would be and focused on finding the quickest resolution. But, even as I slid on my shoes and grabbed my key and wallet, my mind refused to decipher the mess that was going through it.
Dim lights lit the path to the stairs and I bounded down them, walking in a hurried pace toward the fast food restaurant that rested on the corner. The place was busy, but luckily my order didn’t take long. I ate at a table in the back, still buried in my problems. The walk home only registered because of the chill.
Was Michael okay? How angry was he that I’d left? Prickling erupted on the back of my neck and I hugged the trench coat tighter. My eyes swept the area as I approached the stairs that went up to the building. It was almost like the beginning. Like I could feel him watching me. Was he, or was I secretly wishing he was?
I took the steps at a fast pace, teasing the idea of the rose. I couldn’t see that being Michael. He would have taken me home right then and there. It was nice to imagine, but I knew the reality. I was alone here. If I wasted too much time trying to figure out what I wanted, I was liable to lose him. He wouldn’t wait forever. Even if that’s what we’d agreed on.
The knob under my hand turned as I went to slide the key in. Hadn’t I locked the door? I was so sure I had.
Cautiously, I pushed it opened and turned on the light. Nothing looked out of place. The dark brown leather sofa still sat against the window and the rickety coffee table sat in front of it. I looked to my side at the particle board entertainment center holding a TV a good ten years old. The space was quiet. Not even a drop of water could be heard from the attached kitchen.
I turned the deadbolt and walked toward the window, shrugging off the jacket. Damn, I was losing my mind contemplating all of this. The best thing was for me to try to relax and let everything work itself out. If I kept pushing too hard, I was never going to come to an answer.
Tingling once again raced across my neck and I held my hand around it, wishing it would go away.
TV. I reached for the remote, clicking it on. The local news was playing and I left it on for background noise as I walked to the back bedroom and picked up my phone. Nothing. Not a single message from Michael all day. How was that possible? I was so sure my phone would be going off nonstop. Maybe he was that angry, or…what if he thought after reading my note that I was indeed too unstable and not worth the time to go after? I couldn’t blame him. Fuck, look at me. I was a damn mess.
I clicked my message center and began reading through our old conversations. Most of them had been while he was at work when he couldn’t talk on the phone. As much as I wanted to call or text, I knew he had to think I was over us. At least until I decided what I wanted. Or, more importantly, what I could live with.
The phone bounced on the mattress as I tossed it down and pulled off the red fitted shirt I wore. Like a block of bricks, weight slammed into my back, pinning me down on the bed. I immediately began to fight. A leather clad hand clamped over my mouth, cool and smooth against my skin,
“You really thought you could leave me?” The pure malice in Michael’s voice had my eyes going wide. For a minute, I almost melted into his weight, but my brain jumped into gear, causing me to fight harder. A whole new excitement surfaced, just like when I’d teased the thought as Michael cut into my skin. He really came. Really tracked me down like he’d promised. “I told you you’d never escape, Anne. You think running is going to help you figure things out?” He spun me around to face him, but kept his hand over my mouth.
My breathing turned heavy as I connected with his eyes. There it was. My safety and the real ruination within myself. That place had opened me up. Gave me heaven, but left me in my own hell. The beast it had unleashed was the whole reason I couldn’t be happy.
In one swift motion, he spun me up to the top of the bed. Handcuffs clinked together as he pulled them from his pocket. I tried to dive to the side, fearing what I knew would come. I was instantly brought back over and held down as he secured one wrist, wound the handcuffs around one of the metal bars on the head board, and restrained the other hand. I was trapped. Secured until he decided otherwise.
“Please.”
His hand clamped back over my mouth. “You’re upset right now, but I’m going to make you better, baby.” A knife was pulled from his black leather jacket and flicked open. I jerked my arms, panicked, my dream nearly blinding me.
“It kills me watching you put yourself through this.” The blade grazed across my chest, enough for me to feel, but not breaking the skin. It hooked under my bra strap, slicing the material like it was silk. My muffled pleas didn’t get a response as he went to the next one and cut it loose, too. As the middle gave way under his pull, my breasts spilled free. The hunger in his eyes had my legs shifting against the vibrations of lust humming through.
“There.” He tossed the bra on the floor. “Fuck, I’ve missed you. Did you miss me?”
I shook my head no, hating myself for doing so.
“Liar. I know you have. You talk in your sleep.” His face hardened even more. “And cry while you’re calling out for me. You don’t want this. You want me. So, why are you here? How did you get this place? Is there someone else?”
His questions came tumbling out, one after another. I knew I couldn’t tell him how much I missed him, but I could answer some of them. My sounds stopped as we held each other’s stare. Slowly, his hand dropped.
“Of course there’s no one else,” I said, angrily. “I can’t believe you’d even think that.”
“Then how could you afford the rent? I pulled up the listings. This place is more than you make in a month, Anne.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised he’d checked out the complex, but I was. “My secret, the one I didn’t tell you about.” My voice was scratchy from all the crying. I cleared my throat as he nodded.
“I remember, go on.”
“My whole life people I’ve gotten close to have been after one thing.” I watched as he remained quiet, listening. “I learned young. After hearing a conversation between my aunt Candice and her husband, my parents left me millions. All they wanted was to get their hands on it. I became rebellious after that. Bouncing me and Cassy from one home to the next. Then, I grew up, and the problems continued when boyfriends or friends found out.”
“Liam,” he said lowly.
“Yes. I knew I could trust you, though. You have your own money. There’d be no reason for you to want mine.”
He stood, pulling the button to my pants free, the anger in him returning. “So that’s why you never let m
e buy you things? What was the point, you could afford to get it yourself.”
“You’re mad about that?” His hand pushed back against my mouth.
“I’m mad about a lot of things. What kills me the most, though, is that you didn’t come to me when you had this urge to leave. You waited for me to be too far away to stop you. That was the worst. Did you have any idea what it would do to me not knowing if you were okay or not?” His hand pushed harder over my mouth. “All I could think was that you were hurt, or had been in some sort of accident and I couldn’t get to you. Then, for you to tell me you didn’t want to be with me anymore...” He shook his head, his eyes holding so much accusation that I was back to the mess I’d been in before he’d tackled me down. Tears escaped and the shame made it hard to breathe past the sobs.
“Whatever you’re so fucking afraid of isn’t half as scary as I’m about to become. You messed up when you said those vows. You’ll never be rid of me now. Ever. You may not see me around, but I’ll be there, watching every move you make. When you go eat with Cassy. When you walk to the fucking restaurant down the street because you’re so hungry from neglecting to eat a bite of your lunch…I’ll be there.”
The room spun, forcing time to all but stand still as I stared up at him. The impact of his threat sunk into the depth of my conscious, striking everything but fear. If I had any doubts about where he stood concerning us, they were washed away with the tears he’d made me spill over my actions.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as his other gloved hand made a path over my stomach. The sound of my zipper filled the room and I moved in the opposite direction, away from him. With a swift pull, he latched onto the waistband and ripped them off. My panties were next. No matter how much I fought, he managed to stabilize my hips by leaning over them. I tossed my head from side to side, trying to dislodge his hand from over my mouth.
“We’ve been here before, baby. Remember how much you fought me the first time? Fuck, you were so wet. I knew what you wanted. Like right now. I can guarantee you’re soaking now, waiting for me to touch you. Let’s see, shall we?” He lifted his hand to his mouth, using his teeth to pull off the glove. I clamped my legs together, begging him not to, but all I could hear was my muffled tone.
Watch Me Page 10
