A Lot Like Perfect

by Kat Cantrell

  “Fast enough,” Havana called with a forced laugh. “We know when we’re not wanted. Come on, Em. Let’s go hang out at Ruby’s so you can tell me more about your ideas for a bar.”

  “Really? Because I have a lot of ideas.” The sarcasm hadn’t quite drained from Ember’s voice but she followed Havana from the kitchen all the same, skirting Isaiah and Aria who gladly moved a few feet closer to the longhorn-uterus painting to give them room to exit Serenity’s apartment.

  “Where were we?” Isaiah slammed the door shut with one foot, all without losing his hold on her. That was talent she could appreciate.

  “You were kissing me. And I was swooning,” she reminded him with a grin, more than happy to forget all about that scene with Havana. “You’re a really good kisser.”

  “You’re a really fun woman to kiss.” He demonstrated by giving her a perfunctory peck on the lips, then pulling back in a tease that had her growling in frustration, which only made him laugh.

  The rumble of it against her torso settled inside her warmly and if he hadn’t been holding her so tightly, she’d definitely float away in a bubble of bliss. “I missed you.”

  “Yeah? You could have come by the barn. There was some stuff you could have done, like hand me tools and bat your eyes at me.”

  “Then everyone would have known we were an item.” A silly excuse. Everyone knew, obviously, if Ember could be believed. “I wanted to keep you all to myself. A secret for us only.”

  His gaze heated, turning his blue eye molten and his brown eye the color of melted chocolate. “Like the roof? I’m a fan of secrets that involve me and you and no prying eyes.”

  She shuddered as she contemplated all the delicious things that could happen in such circumstances, some of which she’d only recently gained half a clue about and the remainder of which she desperately wished to be given more than just a clue. “We’re alone now. Serenity is with Caleb at the bank in La Grange and won’t be back for another hour or so.”

  Isaiah groaned, tilting his head to hers until their foreheads touched in a gesture that felt far more intimate than it should. “I did not need to know that. You really enjoy testing my will, don’t you?”

  “Not a test.” She shook her head. “Am I not being clear enough that you light me up inside too? That I’m more than willing, eager in fact, to get to the next level. Show me what it’s all about.”

  But he did the exact opposite of what she’d expected and backed off, taking all his warmth and solid muscles with him as he pulled away. When he’d put a firm five feet between them, he stood there running a hand through his short dark hair, staring at the floor. Her heart twisted painfully as she watched him struggle to speak.

  Which loosened her own tongue faster than his. “What, Isaiah? You’re fine with kissing but I’m not pretty enough to undress all of a sudden?”

  “Don’t drag that up again,” he said with frown. “I’ve already told you plenty of times how beautiful I think you are. That’s not going to change overnight.”

  Those were just words, though, and his actions spoke far louder. She’d never said anything so bold to a man before, so it was possible she had pictured the wrong outcome when she’d thrown herself at him, but she was pretty sure that no one with a Y chromosome had ever rejected an offer like that from Ember twice in a row. Or even once.

  “Then please. Do tell which part has changed overnight.”

  “The part where I can’t seem to stop myself from getting caught up in you, only to be reminded that there are more factors involved here than doing whatever I want without considering the consequences.” His eyelids slammed shut for a brief moment, as if in a quandary. “The barn is nearly finished. Tristan can do the rest without me. It’s a good time to cut ties, and I just…”

  “Want to tell me this is over?” she guessed quietly, even as the phrase tore through her. She would’ve sworn she’d been prepared for this. She wasn’t.

  Obviously that was why he wasn’t taking her up on her blatant offer. Once again, she’d discovered a man’s depth of character just as he was showing her the door.

  “No! Aria. Geez.” Isaiah shook his head and plunked down on the couch behind him unexpectedly, then braced his hands on his knees as he stared up at her. “I was having a hard time thinking about leaving in the first place and now that I’m falling in love with you, it feels impossible.”

  Her heart tumbled from its perch and fell right at his feet. Which seemed like as good a place as any to lay her own revelations on the line. She dropped to her knees between his and gathered up his beautiful face with both of her palms, praying everything she was feeling inside could somehow be communicated through her eyes because her throat wasn’t working so well.

  They stared at each other for a long moment. I’m in love with you too. She couldn’t be sure if she said it out loud or not. Surely he could hear it weeping from her skin as there was no way something so big and huge could be contained by banal flesh.

  “Isaiah,” she murmured and leaned into a kiss that wasn’t anything like the first one. This was more of a transfer of souls, a connection that bound them together in ways she had yet to figure out. While she’d rather be done with all the talking, she had more to say. “About the thing I brought up last night. About going with you. Isn’t that the answer?”

  More to the point, she wanted it to be.

  A shadow stole over his expression. “It’s all I’ve thought about today, though I told myself I wasn’t going to. It’s madness, Aria. I can’t take you away from your home, nor should you ask me to. Just like you don’t want to hold me here, I don’t want to be responsible for forcing you to leave.”

  “But that’s the thing,” she croaked, emotion coloring her voice as the decision clarified for her in an instant. “You’re not making me do anything. You’re opening doors for me. We belong together, can’t you see that? I want to be wherever you are.”

  That’s what her prediction had meant. You’ll feel intimacy all around so no matter where you go, love will follow. She wasn’t supposed to stay here at all.

  Isaiah was already shaking his head. “Aria. The reasons I’m leaving are the same reasons why you can’t go. You deserve better than to be tied to someone like me.”

  She flinched. “Someone like you? Someone good and kind, who makes me feel floaty and bonds me to the ground at the same time? A man who refuses to take advantage of me and then leave is who I see in front of me. You’re someone I can talk to. I feel comfortable with you, more so than anyone else I’ve ever met. What more could I possibly ask for, let alone deserve?”

  “I’m not…” He sighed, a great heaving of his chest that she felt in hers. “There’s more to me than meets the eye. We barely know each other. You’re putting all your hope in something you know nothing about.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Suddenly furious and not at all sure where the surge of heat had come from, she shot to her feet, almost taking his nose off in the process. “You just told me you were falling in love with me. Why would you even say that if you already knew you were going to throw up all these roadblocks?”

  “I don’t know. Because I’m selfish,” he ground out. “Far more selfish than I would have guessed. I shouldn’t have told you.”

  “But you did.” Because he’d been speaking from the heart. That much, she believed beyond a shadow of a doubt. “And it’s too late to take it back.”

  “I’m not trying to!” Cursing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, this is not how I expected lunch to go.”

  “Hint, when you kiss a girl and talk about falling in love with her, your next move is almost never going to be explaining all the reasons why that doesn’t matter because it’s not going to work out anyway.”

  Like she knew. Maybe this was how all relationships went. Ember had to have gotten her all men are losers spiel from personal experience. The longhorn-uterus picture over his head blurred as she stared at it, trying not to cry in frustration.
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  He just nodded, mute all of a sudden. Which tripped her temper again. “What did you expect anyway? Why even come over if you were just going to say sayonara?”

  “Because I’m weak,” he said wearily with a small smile. “And making good decisions is my Achilles heel lately. I couldn’t stay away from you, which is a running theme here, by the way. If I’d been able to stop myself from seeking you out over the last few weeks, we never would have made it past that first time on the roof.”

  But they had. Because they’d connected. But he seemed fine with just throwing all of that away. She crossed her arms and glared at him, giving him the full brunt of her Irish. It was just like Ember and Havana had said. The second a man came into her life, voila. Her previously unriled temper made an appearance.

  “Well, guess what. I get a say in this too and I’m not sorry that’s how it happened.” She almost stamped her foot and resisted at the last minute. “I’m in love with you and you can’t make me stop. Also? If you leave, I’ll just follow you. What are you going to do about it?”

  His gaze locked onto hers, spearing her through as he assessed her face, presumably to gauge how serious she was. Which she was happy to clarify.

  “Deadly serious,” she informed him. “So now that we have that established, stop acting like Shrek and start trying to figure out how to make this work instead of pushing me away. Because that’s what I’m worth, buster. And so are you.”

  For whatever reason, that made him laugh and the sound of it lightened her heart—and her mood. They had a shot, she could feel it. If she could just get him to agree to leave together, this could work between them.

  “So that’s it then? You call me Shrek and I’m supposed to fall at your feet?”

  “Pretty much.” And then she squealed as he bulleted off the couch to catch her in his embrace. She melted into it, gratified at least to have gotten him over whatever hump had caused him to stop touching her, and let herself drown in his warmth. “Are you through making me dizzy with all your back and forth then?”

  “Probably not,” he admitted easily. “But it seems as if you’re largely unimpressed with my attempts to be noble, so let’s try this. I’ll stop pushing you away if you agree to give me time to do the figuring out you’re asking for. I don’t know what that looks like. But if you’re willing to stay on the boat for the discovery process, welcome aboard.”

  Seventeen

  The devil’s bargain Aria had talked Isaiah into could not end well. But he’d gotten so tired of being alone. Aria hadn’t been listening to him anyway. What he should have done was sneak away in the middle of the night without telling her. But that had felt cowardly.

  Instead, he’d blubbered his feelings all over her—which had been totally unfair, somewhat of a running theme with him lately—only to have her refuse to accept the out he’d been trying to give her.

  What was he supposed to do with that?

  Heal. Immediately. Yesterday would have been better. Of course, if it was that simple, he’d have just done that already. Fixed himself and gone on his merry way.

  Now he had the best reason of all to figure it out. Aria. The problem was if he left, he couldn’t do what he’d promised her he would. And sticking around meant he couldn’t easily avoid helping Caleb with his PR job. The thought put him in such a panic that he had to lie on his bed just to get enough air circulating through his brain to avoid blacking out.

  Obviously falling in love was not the magic solution to his problems. Not that he’d ever held out hope in that respect. But still. It would have been a nice gesture on the part of the universe to get the prediction at least partially right.

  So instead, it looked like he’d be doing hard work of the emotional variety in order to get to a place where he didn’t feel like he was ruining Aria’s life no matter what decisions he made.

  She seemed pretty determined to love him regardless, which felt miraculous. This morning, he’d woken up like always, but in that split second of coming to full consciousness, he heard her voice in his head saying I love you. One day, he might get lucky enough to hear it every morning in person. But he had a lot to do before that was even a remote possibility.

  All of the above was a huge motivating factor for why he’d taken over the corner booth at Ruby’s as his Welcome to Superstition Springs party command center. The morning breakfast crowd had eyed him curiously as he sat there furiously scribbling out ideas on a sheet of paper and looking up things on his phone. The screen was too small to flip back and forth between Pinterest, party planning sites and the calculator, which added to his mounting frustration.

  By ten o’clock, he’d come to the realization that he needed a laptop, which had been nowhere on his radar when he’d left California. After reading a few reviews on an electronics website, he ordered one. That turned out to be the easy part.

  “Hey, Ruby,” he called to her as she stood behind the counter pouring coffee for Lennie Ford. They both turned. “What’s the mailing address at the hotel?”

  Ruby hooted and exchanged an amused glance with Lennie, then finally let Isaiah in on the joke. “We don’t have a postal code out here. Folks have their mail held at the post office in La Grange. We’re off the grid for the most part and like it that way.”

  Lennie, a gentle old soul who ran an antiques shop that shared a wall with Voodoo Grocery, shifted in his seat to contemplate him. “What’re you having mailed?”

  One factor of living in a place like Superstition Springs—privacy was not a thing. Of course, Isaiah had set up shop in the middle of Ruby’s where the entire town came through on a daily basis, strictly because he hoped to get some eyes on this project. He couldn’t do it without everyone’s help, so he welcomed curiosity. “A laptop. I’m planning something for the mayor. A party.”

  That piqued Lennie’s interest. He shoved off his seat and lumbered over, full coffee cup in hand. “What kind of party?”

  Isaiah jerked his head at the bench seat that normally held the other four SEALs but might accommodate one very large antiques dealer. “Take a load off and let me talk to you about it.”

  Without hesitating, Lennie plopped down, resting his heavily tattooed arms on the table as he leaned forward as well as his enormous girth would allow, given that he’d barely cleared the opening. “Haven’t been to a good party in a decade. Not sure you’ll change that.”

  Well, neither was he. But it was enough of a challenge to have him gearing up to prove differently.

  Ruby lifted the coffee carafe in his direction in a silent question as to whether he wanted a refill. He didn’t, but he nodded all the same. She bustled over to pour, her eavesdropping ears wide open, which was exactly the reason he’d asked for more coffee. The more, the merrier.

  “What makes a good party?” he asked them both.

  “Lots of food,” Lennie answered decisively. “Barbecue. Smoked chicken. Mudbugs.”

  Isaiah looked up from his paper where he’d been noting the points. “Mudbugs?”

  “Crawfish, honey,” Ruby answered and leaned one hip on the table. “Word to the wise, when Texans talk about barbecue, its beef, not pork. Though we like both.”

  This stuff was gold. “I thought crawfish was a Louisiana thing. No?”

  And that was enough to get both of the residents off and running. Ruby and Lennie set him straight: sweet tea was a must, Blue Bell ice cream non-negotiable, Tabasco sauce could be traded out for Texas Pete’s but it was safer to have both. Isaiah’s hand hurt from taking notes by the time the lunch crowd started shuffling in, forcing Ruby to abandon ship since she had to go cook.

  “Thanks, Lennie,” he said to the man once Ruby had sailed off. “I appreciate a local perspective.”

  Lennie shrugged, a grin splitting his grizzled beard. “Don’t you mention it. You’re good people, and that Caleb is doing fine by us as our first mayor. You boys are all a welcome addition to the fold.”

  The fold. It had a nice ring to it without adding a l
ot of expectation, as if all Isaiah had to do was let himself be wrapped in the town’s embrace in order to be a part of things here. “Caleb and Havana have a vision. I think this party will help give people a reason to visit. But more importantly, residents can meet some new people in a fun setting who might become paying customers of businesses in town.”

  “I never thought about that.” Lennie’s expression grew thoughtful as he mused it over. “I was more on the track of having a good time. But I see the point. You set up a snow cone booth in front of my store and maybe some kids come inside to see what kind of old toys I got.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I haven’t had any new kids to bake cookies for since Ember brung her Judd to town.” The prospect of making cookies seemed to seal the deal with Lennie, judging by the pleased glint in his eye. “I got a couple of old friends in Austin who do some catering on the side. Lemme make a call, see what I can do on getting you a good price. Least I can do to help since you got me thinking differently.”

  Wow. Okay. That was shades of his old self at work there. He’d forgotten how good it felt to leave someone more positive about the outcome of something than they’d been a few minutes ago. “That would be great.”

  “They’re good guys who’ll do quality work for you. Served with ’em in the Persian Gulf during the ’80s.”

  Dumbstruck, Isaiah stared at the man as he rifled through the data in his head about US military operations during the time and could only come up with one conclusion. “You were in the Navy?”

  The Persian Gulf had been the site of one of the largest naval offensives post World War II and had given rise to the conflict that had extended into Operation Desert Storm. Isaiah had long understood that the sacrifices of great men like this one had allowed him to carry on the fight against terrorism two decades later in the Middle East. Until he couldn’t anymore.

  “Sure, for a few years,” Lennie said. “Saw some bad stuff. Got out before I lost my way.”