The Restored Finnegans Wake

by James Joyce

  — Couch, cortege, ringbarrow, dungcairn. Beseek the runes and see the longurn! All maun away when ye hear the gonghorn. And meet Nautsen. Ess Ess. O ess. Warum night! Conning two lay payees. Norsker. Her raven flag was out, the slaver. I trow pon Good, Jordan’s scaper, Good’s Barnet and Trustyman. Crouch low, you pigeons three! Say, call that girl with the tan tress awn! Call Wolfhound! Wolf of the sea. Folchu! Folchu!

  — Very good now. That’s folklore straight from the ass his mouth. Now, to come to the midnight middy on this levantine ponenter, I will crusade on with the parent ship, weather prophetting, far away from those green hills. A station, Ireton tells me, bonafide for keeltappers. From Daneland sailed the oxeyed man. Now mark well what I say.

  — Magnus Spadebeard, korsets krosser, welsher perfyddye. A destroyer in our port. Signed to me with his baling scoop. Laid bare his breastpaps to give suck, to suckle me. Ecce hagios chrisman!

  — O Jeyses’ fluid! says the poisoned well. Futtfishy the First. Hootch-copper’s enkel at the navel manoeuvres!

  — Hep! Hello there, Bill of Old Bailey! Whu’s he? Whu’s this lad wi’ the pups?

  — Hunkalus Childared Easterheld. It’s his lost chance, Emania. Ware him well!

  — Hey! Did you dream you were ating your own tripe, acushla, that you tied yourself up that wrynecky fix?

  — I see now. We move in the beast circuls. Grimbarb and pancercrucer! You took the words out of my mouth. A child’s dread for a dragon vice-father. Hillcloud encompass us! You mean you lived as Milky at their lyceum, couard, while you learned, volp volp, to howl yourself wolfwise. Dyb! Dyb! Do your best!

  — I am dob dob dobbling like old Booth’s, courteous. The cubs are after me, it zeebs, the whole totem pack, vuk vuk and vuk vuk to them, for Robinson’s shield.

  — Scents and gouspils! The animal gangs again! Find the Fingall harriers! Here, howl me wiseacre’s hat till I die of the milkman’s lupus!

  — Whaat! Wolfgang! Whoah! Taalk very slowo!

  — Hail him heathen, heal him holystone!

  Courser, recourser, changechild, .........?

  Eld as endall, earth ..................?

  — A cataleptic mithyphallic! Was this Totum Fulcrum Est Ancestor yu had in Dies Eirae where no spider webbeth or Anno Mundi ere bawds plied in Skiff Strait? Be fair, Chris!

  — Dream. On a nonday I sleep. I dreamt of a somday. On a wonday I shall wake. Ah! May he have now of here fearfilled me! Sinflowed, O Sinflowed! Fia! Fia! Befurcht Christ!

  — I have your tristich now. It recurs in three times the same differently. And comming nown from the asphalt to the concrete, from the human historic brute, Finnsen Faynean, occeanyclived, to this same vulcanised hillsir from yours (there is such a fui fui story which obtains of him), Mr Tuppling Toun of Morningside Heights, with his lavas flow and his rambling undergroands, would he reoccur ad horam, as old Romeo Rogers, in city or county, by, with or from an urb, an you’re sure of you know the differenciabus, as brauchbarred in Apabhramsa, sierrah! We speak of Gun, the farther. And in the locative. Bap! Bap!

  — Ouer Tad, Hellig Babbau, whom certayn orbits assertant re humeplace of Chivitats Ei, Smithwick, Rhonnda, Kaledon, Salem (Mass), Childers, Argos and Duthless. Well, I am advised he might in a sense be both never-moreless every atman like myself, suffix it to say. Abrahamsk and Brookbear! By him it was done bapka, by me it was gone into, to whom it will beblive, mushame, mushame! I am afraid you could not heave ahora one of your own old stepstones, barnabarnabarn, over a stumbledown wall here in Huddlestown to this classic Noctubrr night but itandthey would binge, much as vecious, off the glosshouse back of a racerider in his true-to-flesh colours, either handicapped on her flat or barely repeating himself. That is a tiptip tim oldy faher now, the man I go in fear of, Tommy Terracotta, and he could be all your and my das, the brodar of the founder of the father of the finder of the pfander of the pfunder of the furst man in Ranelagh. Fué! Fué! Petries and violet ice (I am yam, as Me and Tam Tower used to jagger pemmer it over at the house of Eddy’s Christy, meaning Dodgfather, Dodgson and Coo) and spiriduous sanction!

  — Breeze softly. Aures are aureas. Hau’s his naun?

  — Me das has or oreils. Piercey! Piercey! Piercey! Piercey!

  — White eyeluscious and no hears! Muddyhorsebroth! Pig Pursy Riley! But where do we get off, chiseller?

  — Haltstille, Lucas and Dublinn! Vulva! Vulva! Vulva! Vulva!

  — Macdougal, Atlantic City, or his onagrass that is, chuam and coughan! I would go near identifying you from your stavrotides, Jong of Maho, and the westarias round your yokohahat. And that O’mulanchonry plucher you have from the worst curst of Ireland, Glwlwdd of the Mghtwy Grwpp, is no use to you either, Johnny my donkeyschott. Number four, fix up your spreadeagle and pull your weight!

  — Hooshin hom to our regional’s hin and the gander of Hayden, would ye ken a young stepschuler of psychical chirography the name of Kevin or (let outers pray) Evan Vaughan, of his Posthorn in the High Street, that was shooing a Guiney gagag, Poulepinter, that foun the dogumen number one? An illegible, I would suggest, downfumbed by an unelgible.

  — If I do know sainted sageness? Sometimes he would keep silent for a few minutes and clasp his forehead, as if in prayer, and during that time he would be thinking to himself and he would not mind anybody who would be talking to him or crying stinking fish. But I no way need you, stroke oar, nor your quick handles. You’re too farfast a cock of the north there, Matty Armagh, and you’re due south so.

  — South, I see. You’re up-in-Leal-Ulster and I’m free-Down-in-Easia. This is much better. He is cured by faith who is sick of fate. The prouts who will invent a writing there ultimately is the poeta, still more learned, who has discovered the raiding there originally. That’s the point of eschatology our book of kills reaches for now in soandso many counterpoint words. What can’t be coded can be decorded if an ear aye sieze what no eye ere grieved for. Now, the doctrine obtains, we have, let me suggest, occasioning cause causing effects and affects occasionally recausing altereffects. Or I will take it upon myself to twist the penman’s tale posterwise. The gist is the gist of Shaum but the hand is the hand of Sameas. Shan-Shim-Schung. There is a strong suspicion on counterfeit Kevin. And we all remember ye in childhood’s revery. ’Tis the bells of scandal that gave tune to grumble over him and someone between me and thee. He’s our sent on the fern. He would preach to the two Turkies and dipdip all the Dindians, this master the abbey, and give gold tidings to all that are in the bonze age of ante-proresurrectionism to entrust their easter uppearance to Borsaiolini’s house of hatcraft. Now, have you reasonable hesitancy in your mind about him after fourpriest red mass or are you in your post? Tell me that and sans dismay. Leap, pard!

  — Fierappel! Putting years on me! Nwo, nwo! This bolt in hand be my worder! I’ll see you moved farther, blarneying Marcantonio! What cans such wretch to say to I or how have My to doom with him? We were wombful of mischief, everliking a liked, hairytop on heeltipper, alpybecca’s umwachsibles, an ikeson am ikeson. That babe, imprincipially and initiumwise, my leperd brethern, the Puer, ens innocens of but fifteen primes, ya all in your kalb lionised so trilustriously, standing the real school, to be upright as his match, healtheous as is egg, saviour as the salt and good wee broad parallaling buttyr, did I altermobile him to a flare insiding hogsfat? Been ike hins kindergardien? I know not, O cashla, I am sure offed habitand this underedheaven, meis enfins, contrasting the first mover, that father I ascend fromming, knows, as I think, caused whom I, a self the sign, came remaining being dwelling ayr, plage and watford as to I was altered impostulance possessing my future state falling towards thrice myself when I, a palegrim, received the habit following Mezienius connecting Mezosius including was verted embracing circumcissed my hairs, O laud, and removed my clothes from patristic motives, meas minimas culpads! Permitting this ick (ickle coon icoocoon) crouched low entering humble down dead true resting the childhide mid mean scatological past, accompanying my thraintropps of
fering meye eyesalt, making so smell partaking myself to confess abiding clean tumbleuponing yous octopods, mouthspeech allno fingerforce, owning my mansuetude before him attaching Audeon’s prostratingwards mine sore what I (the person whomin I now am) did not do, how he to say essied anding how he was making errant andanding how he all lowcutey sunt, why did you, my sexth best friend, blabber always you would be so delated to back me, then ersed irredent, toppling Humphrey hugging Nephew, old beggelaut, designing such post sitting his night office? Annexing then, producing Saint Momoluius, you snub round enclosing your moving motion touching the other catechumens continuing you say providing append of signature quoniam you will celebrand my dirthdies quoniam, concealed a concealer, I am twosides uppish, a mockbelief insulant, ending none meer hiber Irish. Well, chunk your dimned chink, before Avtokinatown, forasmuch as many have tooken in hand to, I may as well humbly correct that vespian now in case of temporalities. I’ve my pockets full comeplay of you laycreated cardonals, ap rince, ap rowler, ap rancer, ap rowdey! Improperial! I saved you fore of the Hekkites and you loosed me hind, blind harry, to the burghmote of Oud Dub. I teachet you in fair time, my elders, the W.X.Y.Z. and P.Q.R.S. of legatine powers and you, Ailbeybar and Ciaradeclan, I learn, episcoping me altogether, circumdeditioned me. I brought you from the loups of Lazary and you have remembered my lapsus langways. Washiwattchywataywatashy! Oiraseshaorebokujibun! Watacooshy lot! Mind of poison is. That time thing think! Honorific remembrance to spit humble makes. My ruridecanal caste is a cut above you peregrines. Say voche to rumanescu. See the leabhour of my generations! Has not my master, Theophrastius Spheropneumaticus, written that the spirit is from the upper circle? I’m of the ochlocracy with Prestopher Palumbus and Porvus Parrio. Soa koa Kelly Terry per Chelly Derry lepossette. Ho, look at my jailbrand Exquovis and sequencias High marked on me fakesimilar in the foreign by Pappagallus and Pumpusmugnus. Aham! Anglicey: Eggs squawfish lean yoe nun feed marecurious! Sagart can self laud nilobstat to Lowman Catlick’s patrician morning coat of arms with my High tripenniferry cresta proper and caudal mottams: Itch dean! Which Gaspey, Otto and Sauer he renders: Eeho stay so! Addressing eat or not eat body Yours am. And Mind, praisegad, is the first praisonal Egoname Yod heard boissboissy in Moy Bog’s domesday. Hastan the vista! Or in alleman: Suck at!

  — Suck it yourself, sugarstick! Misha, Yid think whose was asking to luck at your sore toe or to taste your gaspy, hot and sour! Ichthyan! Hegoat’s tosser! Gags be plebsed! Between his voyeurs and her consinnantes! Thugg, Dirke and Hacker with Rose Lankester and Blanche Yorke! Are we speechin d’anglas landage or are you sprakin sea Djoytsch? Oy soy, Bleseyblasey, where to go is knowing remain? Become quantity that discourse bothersome when what do? Knowing remain? Come back, baddy wrily, to Bullydamestough! Cum him, buddy rawly, with me! What about your thruppenny croucher of an old fellow, me boy through the ages, tell us, eh? What about Brian’s the Vaunt-and-Onlieme master monk, eh, eh, Spira in Me Domino, spear me Doyne! Fat prize the bonafide peachumpidgeonlover, esquire earwugs, escusado, of Jenkins’ Area, with his I’ve ivy under his tangua and the hohallo to his dullaphone, before there was, eh, eh, eh, a sound in the world? How big was his boost friend and be shanghaied to him? The swaaber! The twicer, trifoaled in Wanstable! Loud’s curse to him! If you hored him outerly as we harem lubberintly, from morning rice till night-male, with his drums and bones and hums in drones, your innereer’d heerdly heer he. Ho ha hi he hung! Tsing tsing!

  — Nicey Doc Mistel Lu, please! Me no angly mo. Me speakee Yellman’s lingas. Me no pigey ludiments allsame numpa one Topside Tellmastoly fella. Me pigey savvy a singasong anothel time. Pleasie, Mista Lukie Walkie! Jossdam cowbellymaam belongame shepullamealalmalong, begolla, jackinaboss belongashe. Plentymuch boohoomeo.

  — Hell’s Confucium and the Elements! Tootoo moohootch! Thot’s never the postal cleric, checking chinchin chat with nipponnippers! Halte there, sob story, to your lambdach’s tale! Are yu roman cawthrick 432?

  — Quadrigue my yoke.

  Triple my tryst.

  Tandem my sire.

  — History as her is harped. Too the toone your owldfrow lied of. Tantris, hattrick, tryst and parting, by vowelglide! I feel your thrillojoy. Mouth’s overtspeaking, O dragoman, hand’s understudium. Plunger words what paddle verbed. Mere man is mimic: God is jest. The old order changeth and lasts like the first. Every third man has a chink in his conscience and every other woman has a jape in her mind. Now, fix on the little fellow in my eye, Minucius Mandrake, and follow my little psychosinology, poorarmer in slingslang. Now I, the lord of Tuttu, am placing that initial square of burial jade upright to your temple a moment. Do you see anything, templar?

  — I see a blackfrinch pliestrycook … who is carrying on his brainpan … a cathedral of lovejelly for his … Tiens, how he is like somebodies!

  — Pious, a pious person. What sound of tistress isoles my ear? I horizont the same , this serpe with ramshead, and lay it lightly to your lip a little. What do you feel, liplove?

  — I feel a fine lady … floating on a stillstream of isisglass … with gold hair to the bed … and white arms to the twinklers … O la la!

  — Purely, in a pure manner. O, seay but swift and still a vain essaying! I invert the initial of your tripartite and sign it sternly, an adze to girdle, on your breast. What do you hear, breastplate?

  — I ahear of a hopper behidin the door slappin his feet in a pool of bran.

  — Bellax, acting like a bellax. And so the triptych vision passes. Out of a hillside into a hillside. Fanshee fading. Again am I deliciated by the picaresqueness of your irmages. Now, the oneir urge iterimpellant, I feel called upon to ask did it ever occur to you, qua you, prior to this, by a stretch of your iberborealic imagination, when it’s quicker than this quacking, that you might, bar accidens, be very largely substituted in potential secession from your next life by a complementary character, voices apart? Upjack! I shudder for your thought! Think! Put from your mind that and take on trust this. The next word depends on your answer.

  — I’m thinking to. Thogged, be thenked! I was just trying to think when I thought I felt a flea. I might have. I cannot say for it is of no sangnificance at all. Sometider, once or twice when I was in Odinburgh with me addlefoes, Jake Jones, the handscabby, when I thinkled I wore trying on my garden substisuit, boys’s apert, at my nextword nighboor’s, and maybe more largely nor you, quosh you, messmate, yet realise. A few times, so to shape, as I chanced to be stretching, in the shadow as I thought, the liferight out of myself in my ericulous imagination I felt feeling a half Scotch and pottage like round my middle ageing like Bewley in the baste so that I indicate out to myself and I swear my gots how that I’m not meself at all, no jolly fear, when I realise bimiselves how becomingly I to be going to become.

  — O, is that the way with you, you craythur? You have all our empathies. In the becoming was the weared, wontnot? Hood maketh not frere. The voice is the voice of jokeup, I fear. Are you imitating Roma now or Amor now, eh, Mr Trickpat, if you don’t mind, that is, aside from pings and mush, answering to my straight question?

  — God save the monk! I won’t mind, this is, answering to your strict crossquests, whereas it would be as unethical for me now to answer as it would have been nonsensical for you then not to have asked. Out of my name you call me, Leelander. But in my sheltar you’ll miss me. When Lapac walks backwords he’s the darkest horse in Capalisoot. Same no can, home no will, gangin I am. Gengang is mine and I will return. You knew me once but you won’t know me twice. I am simpliciter arduus, ars of the school, Freeday’s child in loving and thieving.

  — My child, know this! Some portion of that answer appears to have been taken by you from the writings of Saint Synodius, that first liar. Let us hear, therefore, as you honour and obey the queen, whether the indwellingness of that which shamefieth be entwined of one or atoned of two. Let us hear, Art simplicissime!

  — Dearly beloved brethren! Bruno and Nola, leymon bogholders and stationary lifepartners off
orangey Saint Nessau Street, were explaining it avicendas all round each other ere yesterweek out of Ibn Sen and Ipanrussch. When himupon Nola Bruno monopolises his egobruno most unwillingly senses by the mortal powers alionola equal and opposite brunoipso, id est, eternally provoking alio opposite equally as provoked as Bruno at being eternally opposed by Nola. Poor omniboose singalow singlearum! So is he!

  — Aver who is? Ib is itsen? One might hear in their beyond that lionroar in the air again, the zoohoohoom of Felin make Call. Or you positively mean nolans but volans, an alibi, do you, Mutemalice? Bruin goes to Noble, suffering unegoistically from the singular but enjoying, the skipgod, on the plural? Dustify of that sole, you breather! Ruemember, blither, thou must lie!

  — Oyessoyess! I never dramped of prebeing a postman but I mean in Ostralian someplace my allaboy brother, Negoist Cabler of this city, whom ’tis better ne’er to name, my said brother, expulled for looking at churches from behind, mults deeply belubdead, who is sender of the Hullo Eve Cenograph in prose and worse every Allso’s night. High Brazil, Brandan’s Deferred, midden Erse clare language, Noughtnoughtnought. Nein. Assass. Dubbire, per Neuropaths. Punk. Starving today plays punk opening tomorrow two plays punk wire splosh how two plays punk Cabler. Have you forgotten poor Alby Sobrinos, Geoff, you blighter, identifiable by the necessary white patch on his rear? How he went to his swiltersland after his lungs, my sad late brother, before his coglionial expancian? Won’t you join me in a small halemerry, a bottle of the best, for wellmet Capeler, united Irishmen, what though preferring the stranger, the coughs and the itches and the minnies and the ratties and the opulose and the bilgenses, for of his was the patriots mistaken. The heart that wast our Graw McGree! Yet be there some who mourn him, concluding him dead, and more there be that wait astand. His fuchs up the staires and the lodgers in his haires, he ought to win that V.V.C. Fullgrapce for an endupper, half muxy on his whole! Would he were even among the lost! From ours bereft beyond belongs. Oremus poor fraternibus that he may yet escape the gallows and still remain ours faithfully deported. I wronged you. I never want to see more of bad men but I want to learn from any on the airse, like Tass with much thanks, here’s ditto, if he lives in the antipathies of Austrasia or anywhere with my fawngest on his hooshmoney, safe and damned, or has hopped it, or who can throw any lime on the sopjack, my sameplace fond fosther, E. Obiit Nolan, The Workings, N.S.W., his condition off the Venerable Jerrybuilt, not belonging to these parts, who I remember ham to me, when we were like bro and sis over our castor and porridge, with his roamin I suppose, expecting for his clarenx negus, a teetotum obstainer. He feels he ought to be as asamed of me as me to be ashunned of him. We were in one class of age like to two clots of egg. I am most beholding to him, my namesick, as we sayed it in our Amharican, through the Doubly Telewisher. Outpassed hearts wag short pertimes. Worndown shoes upon his feet, to whose redress no tongue can tell! In his hands a boot! Spare me, do, a copper or two, and happy I’ll hope you’ll be! It will pleased me behind with thanks from before and love to self and all I remain here your truly friend. I am no scholar but I loved that man who has africot lupps with the moonshane in his profile. My semblabble! My freer! I call you my halfbrother because you in your soberer otiumic moments remind me deeply of my natural saywhen brothel in feed, hop and jollity, S. H. Devitt, that benighted irismaimed, who is tearly belaboured by Sydney and Alibany.