The Restored Finnegans Wake

by James Joyce

  — He is quieter now.

  — Legalentitled. Accesstopartnzz. Notwildebeestsch. Byrightofcaptz. Twainbeoneflesh. Haveandholdpp.

  — S! Let us go. Make a noise. Slee …

  — Obstructionwayszz. Beautofusion. Claimtopossessk.

  — Qui … The li …

  — Huesofrichunfoldingmorn. Wakenupriseandprove. Provideforsacrifice.

  — Wait! Hist! Let us list!

  For our netherworld’s bosomfoes are working tooth and nail overtime: in earthveins, toadcavities, cheeseganglions, saltklosters, underfed: nagging firenibblers knocking afterman up out of his hinterclutch. Tomb be their tools! When the youngdammers will be soon heartpocking on their betters’ doornoggers: and the youngfries will be backfrisking diamondcuts over their lyingin underlayers, spick and spat trowelling a gravetrench for their fourinhand forebears. Vote for your club!

  — Wait!

  — What?

  — Her door!

  — Ope?

  — See!

  — What?

  — Careful!

  — Who?

  Cant ear! Her dorters ofe? Whofe? Her eskmeno daughters hope? Whope? Ellme, elmme, elskmestoon! Soon!

  Live well! Inûvdluaritzas! Tone!

  Let us consider.

  The procurator Interrogarius Mealterum persends us this proposer.

  Honuphrius is a concupiscent exservicemajor who makes dishonest propositions to all. He is considered to have committed, invoking droit d’oreiller, simple infidelities with Felicia, a virgin, and to be practising for unnatural coits with Eugenius and Jeremias, two or three philadelphians. Honuphrius, Felicia, Eugenius and Jeremias are consanguineous to the lowest degree. Anita, the wife of Honuphrius, has been told by her tirewoman, Fortissa, that Honuphrius has blasphemously confessed under voluntary chastisement that he has instructed his slave Mauritius, a widower, to facilitate their neighbour Magravius, a commercial emulous of Honuphrius, to solicit the chastity of Anita. Anita is informed by some illegitimate children of Fortissa with Mauritius (the supposition is Ware’s) that Gillia, the schismatical wife of Magravius, is visited clandestinely by Barnabas, the advocate of Honuphrius, an immoral person who has been corrupted by Jeremias. Gillia (a cooler blend, D’Alton insists), ex equo with Poppea, Arancita, Clara, Marinuzza, Indra and Iodina, has been tenderly debauched (in Halliday’s view) by Honuphrius, and Magravius knows from spies that Anita has formerly committed double sacrilege with Michael, vulgo Cerularius, a perpetual curate who wishes to seduce Eugenius. Magravius threatens to have Anita molested by Sulla, an orthodox savage (and leader of a band of twelve mercenaries, the Sullivani) who desires to procure Felicia for Gregorius, Leo, Vitellius and Macdugalius, four excavators, if she will not yield to him and also deceive Honuphrius by rendering conjugal duty when demanded. Anita, who claims to have discovered incestuous temptations from Jeremias and Eugenius, would yield to the lewdness of Honuphrius to appease the savagery of Sulla and the mercernariness of the twelve Sullivani and (as Gilbert at first suggested) to save the virginity of Felicia for Magravius, when converted by Michael after the death of Gillia, but she fears that by allowing his marital rights she may cause reprehensible conduct between Eugenius and Jeremias. Michael, who has formerly debauched Anita, dispenses her from yielding to Honuphrius who pretends publicly to possess his conjunct in thirtynine several manners (turpiter! affirm ex cathedris Gerontes Cambronses) for carnal hygiene whenever he has rendered himself impotent to consummate by subdolence. Anita is disturbed, but Michael comminates that he will reserve her case tomorrow for the ordinary Guglielmus even if she should practise a pious fraud during affrication which, from experience, she knows (according to Wadding) to be leading to nullity. Fortissa, however, is encouraged by Gregorius, Leo, Vitellius and Magdugalius, reunitedly, to warn Anita by describing the strong chastisements of Honuphrius and the depravities (turpissimas!) of Canicula, the deceased wife of Mauritius, with Sulla, the simoniac, who is abnegand and repents. Has he hegemony and shall she submit?

  Translake a lax, you breed a bradaun. In the goods of Cape and Chattertone, deceased.

  This, layreaders and gentilemen, is perhaps the commonest of all cases arising out of umbrella history in connection with the wood industries in our courts of litigation. D’Oyly Owens holds (though Finn Magnusson of himself holds also) that so long as there is a joint deposit account in the two names a mutual obligation is posited. Owens cites Brerfuchs and Warren, a foreign firm, since disseized, registered as Tangos, Limited, for the sale of certain proprietary articles. The action, which was at the instance of the trustee of the Heathen Church Emergency fund, suing by its trustee, a resigned civil servant, for the payment of tithes due, was heard by Judge Doyle and also by a common jury. No question arose as to the debt for which vouchers spoke volumes. The defence alleged that payment had been made effective. The fund trustee, one Jucundus Fecundus Xero Pecundus Coppercheap, counterclaimed that payment was invalid, having been tendered to creditor under cover of a crossed cheque, signed in the ordinary course, in the name of Wieldhelm, hurls cross, voucher copy provided, and drawn by the senior partner only by whom the lodgment of the species had been effected but in their joint names. The bank particularised, the National Misery (now almost entirely in the hands of the four chief bondholders for value in Tangos, Limited), declined to pay the draft, though there were ample reserves to meet the liability, whereupon the trusty Coppercheap negotiated it for and on behalf of the fund of the thing to a client of his, a notary, from whom, on consideration, he received in exchange legal relief as between trusthee and bethrust, with thanks. Since then the cheque, a good washable pink, embossed D you D no 11 hundred and thirty 2, good for the figure and face, had been circulating in the country for over thirtynine years among holders of Pango stock, a rival concern, though not one demonetised farthing had ever spun or fluctuated across the counter in the semblance of hard coin or liquid cash. The jury (a sour dozen of stout fellows all of whom were curiously named after Doyles) naturally disagreed, jointly and severally, and the belligerent judge, disagreeing with the allied jurors’ disagreement, went outside his jurisfiction altogether and ordered a garnishee attachment to the neutral firm. No mandamus could locate the depleted Whilom Breyfawkes as he had entered into an ancient moratorium, dating back to the times of the early barters, and only the junior partner Barren could be found, who entered an appearance and turned up, add woman in, among the male jurors, an obsolete turfwoman originally from the proletarian class with still a good title to her sexname of Ann Doyle, 2 Coppinger’s Cottages, the Doyle Country. Doyle (Ann), upon a notice of motion and after service of the motion by interlocutory injunction, having regretfully left the juryboxers, protested cheerfully on the stand in a long jurymiad in re corset checks, delivered in Doylish, that she had often, in supply to brusk demands rising almost to bollion point, discounted Mr Brakeforth’s first of all in exchange at nine months from date without issue and, to be strictly literal, unbottled in corrubberation a current account of how she had been made at sight for services rendered the payee-drawee of unwashable blank assignations, sometimes pinkwilliams (laughter) but more often of the crème-de-citron, vair émail paoncoque or marshmallow series, which she, as bearer, used to endorse, adhesively, to her various payers-drawers who in most cases were identified by the timber papers as wellknown tetigists of the city and suburban. The witness, at her own request, asked if she might and wrought something between the sheets of music paper which she had accompanied herself with for the occasion and, this having been handed up for the bench to look at in camera, Coppinger’s doll, as she was called (annias, MackErse’s Dar, the adopted child), then proposed to jerrykin and jureens and every jim, jock and jarry in that little green courtinghousie for her satisfaction and as a whole act of settlement to reamalgamate herself, tomorrow perforce, in pardonership with the permanent suing fond trustee, Monsignore Pepigi, under the new style of Will Breakfast and Sparrem, as, when all his cognisances had been estreated, he seemed
to proffer the steadiest interest towards her, but this prepoposal was ruled out on appeal by Judge Jeremy Doyler who, reserving judgment in a matter of courts and reversing the findings of the lower correctional, found, beyond doubt of treason, fending the dissassents of the pickpackpanel, twelve as upright judaces as ever let down their thoms, and, occupante extremum scabie, handed down to the jury of the Liffey that, as a matter of tact, the woman they gave as free was born into contractual incapacity (the Calif of Man v the Eaudelusk Company) when, how and where Mamy’s Mancipium Act did not apply and therefore held supremely that, as no property in law can exist in a corpse (Hal Kilbride v Una Bellina), Pepigi’s pact was pure piffle (loud laughter) and Wharrem could whistle for the rhino. Will you, won’t you, pango with Pepigi? Not for, Nancy, how dare you do! And whew whewwhew whew.

  — He sighed in sleep.

  — Let us go back.

  — Lest he forewaken.

  — Hide ourselves.

  While hovering dreamwings, folding round, will hide from fears my wee nee mannikin, keep my big wig long strong manomen, guard my bairn, mon beau.

  — To bed!

  Prospector projector and boomooster giant builder of all causeways woesoever, hoppingoffpoint and true terminus of straxstraightcuts and corkscrewn perambulaups, zeal whence to goal whither, wanderlust, in sequence to which every muckle must make its mickle, as different as York from Leeds, being the only wise in a muck’s world to look on itself from beforeland; mirrorminded curiositease and would-to-the-large which bring hills to molehunter, home through first husband, perils behind swine and horsepower down to hungerford, prick this man and tittup this woman, our forced payrents, Bogy Bobow with his cunnyngnest couchmare, Big Maester Finnykin with Phenicia Parkes, lame of his ear and gape of her leg, most correctingly, we beseach of you, down their laddercase of night-watch service and bring them at suntime flush with the nethernmost gangrung of their stepchildren: guide them through the labyrinth of their semilikes and the alteregoases of their pseudoselves: hedge them bothways from all roamers whose names are ligions, from loss of bearings deliver them; so they kreep to their rights and be ware of dutyfrees, neoliffic smith and magdalenian jinnyjones, mandragon mor and weak wiffeyducky, Morionmale and Thrydacianmade, basilisk glorious with his weeniequeenie, tigernack and swansgrace, he as hale as his ardouries, she as verve as her veines: this prime white arsenic with bissemate alloyed, martial sin with peccadilly, free to lease hold with first mortgage, dowser dour and dipper douce, stop-that-war and feel-this-feather, horsebloodheartened and lambswoolwashable, great gas with fun-in-the-corner, grand slam with fall-of-the-trick, solomn one and shebby, cod and coney, cash and carry, in all we dreamed the part we dreaded, corsair coupled with his dame, royal biber but constant lymph, boniface and bonnyfeatures, nazel nose and river mouth, bang-the-change and batter-the-bolster, big smoke and lickley roesthy, humanity’s fahrman by society leader, voguener and trulley, humpered and elf, Urloughmoor with Miryburrow, leaks and awfully, basal curse yet grace abunda, Regies Producer with screendoll Vedette, peg of his claim and pride of her heart, cliffscaur grisly but rockdove cooing, Hodinstag on Fryggabet, baron and feme: that he may dishcover her, that she may uncouple him, that none may come and crumple them, that they may soon recoup themselves: now and then, time on time again, as per periodicity: from Neaves to Willses, from Bushmills to Enos; to Goerz from Harleem, to Hearths of Oak from Skittish Widdas: via mala, hyber pass, heckhisway per alptrack: through lands vague and vain, after many mandelays: in their first case, to the next place, till their cozenkerries: the high and the by, both pent and plain: cross cowslips yillow, yellow, yallow, past pumpkins pinguind, purplesome: be they whacked to the wide other tied to husthings: long sizzleroads neath arthurseat, him to the derby, her to toun, til sengentide, do coddlam: in the grounds or unterlinnen: rue to lose and ca’canny: at shipside, by convent garden: monk and sempstress, in sackcloth silkily: curious dreamers, curious dramas, curious demon, plagiast dayman, playajest dearest, plaguiest dourest: for the strangfort planters are prodesting and the karkery felons dryflooring it and the leperties’ ladds railing the way, blump for Slogo Slee!

  Stop! Did a stir? No, is fast. On to bed! So he is. It’s only the wind on the road outside for to wake all shivering shanks from snoring.

  But, Oom Godd his villen, who will he be, this mitryman, some king of the yeast, in his chrismy greyed brunzewig, with the snow in his mouth and the Caspian asthma, so bulk of build? Relics of pharrer and livite! Dik Gill, Tum Lung or MacFinnan’s cool Harryng? He has only his bedcosycaskette on and his woolsey shirtplisse with peascod doublet, also his feet wear doubled width socks for he always must to insure warm sleep between a pair of fullyfleeced bankers like a finnoc in a cauwl. Can thus be Misthra Norkmann that keeps our hotel? Begor, Mr O’Sorgmann, you’re looking right well! Hecklar’s champion ethnicist. How deft as a fuchser schouws daft as a fish! He’s the dibble’s own doges for doublin existents! But a jolly fine daysent form of one word. He’s rounding up on his family.

  And who is the bodikin by him, sir? So voulzievalsshie? With ybbs and zabs? Her trixiestrail is tripping her, vop! Luck at the way for the lucre of smoke she’s looping the lamp! Why, that’s old Missness Wipethemdry! Well, well, wellsowells! Donauwatter! Ardechious me! With her halfbend, as proud as a peahen, allabalmy, and her troutbeck quiverlips, ninyananya. And her sleptuajazzyma’s culunder buzztle. Happy tea area, naughtygay frew! Selling sunlit sopes to washtout winches and rhaincold draughts to the props of his pubs. She tried lipping the swells at Pont Delisle till she jumped the boom at Brounemouth. Now she’s borrid his head under Hatesbury’s Hatch and loamed his fate to old Love Lane. And she’s just the same old haporth of dripping. She’s even brennt her hair.

  Which route are they going? Why? Angell Sitter or Amen Corner, Norwood’s Southwalk or Euston Waste? The solvent man in his upper gambeson withnot a breath against him and the wee wiping womanahoussy. They’re coming terug for their diamond wedding tour, giant’s inch by elfkin’s ell, vesting their characters vixendevolment, andens aller, athors err, our first day man and your dresser and mine, that Luxumburgher evec cettehis Alzette, konyglik shire with his queensh countess, Stepney’s shipchild with the waif of his bosun, Dunmow’s flitcher with duck-on-the-rock, down the scales, the way they went up, under talls and threading tormentors, shunning the startraps and slipping in sliders, risking a runway, ruing reveals, from Eldor Arbor to La Puirée, eskipping the clockback, crystal in carbon, sweetheartedly, hot and cold and electrickery with attendance and lounge and promenade free. In spite of all that science could boot or art could eke. Bolt the grinden. Postpone no bills. Thrive slowly. Cave and cane em. Single wrecks for the weak, double axe for the mail, and quick queck quocks for the radiose. Renove that bible. You will never have post in your pocket unless you have brass on your plate. Beggards outdoor. Goat to the Endth, thou Slowguard! Mind the Monks and their Grasps. Scrape your souls. Commit no miracles. Respect the uniform. Hold the raabers for the kunning his plethoron. Let leash the dooves to the cooin her coynth. Hatenot havenots. Share the wealth and spoil the weal. Peg the pound to tom the devil. My time is on draught. Bottle your own. Love my label like myself. Earn before eating. Drudge after drink. Credit tomorrow. Follow my dealing. Fetch my price. Buy not from Dives. Sell not to Freund. Herenow chuck english and learn to pray plain. Lean on your lunch. No cods before Me. Practise preaching. Think in your stomach. Import through the nose. By faith alone. Season’s weather. Gomorrha. Solong. Lots feed from my tidetable, oils wells in our lands. Let Earwigger’s wifable teach you the dance!

  Now their laws assist them and ease their fall!

  For they met and mated and bedded and buckled and got and gave and reared and raised and brought Thawland within Har danger and turned them, tarrying, to the sea and planted and plundered and pawned our souls and pillaged the pounds of the extramurals and fought and feigned with strained relations and broke all banks and hated the sights of one another and bequeathed us their i
lls and recrutched cripples’ gait and undermined lungachers, manplanting seven sisters while wan warmwooed woman scrubbs, and turned out coats and removed their origins and never learned the first day’s lesson and tried to mingle and managed to save and feathered foes’ nests and fouled their own and wayleft the arenotts and ponted vodavalls for the zollgebordened and escaped from liquidation by the heirs of their death and were responsible for congested districts and rolled olled logs into Peter’s sawyery and werfed new woodcuts on Paoli’s wharf and ewesed Rachel’s lea and rammed Dominic’s gap and struck rock oil and forced a policeman and looked haggards after lazatables and rode fourscore oddwinters and collaughsed at their phizes in Toobiassed and Zachary and left off leaving off and kept on keeping on and roused up drink and poured balm down the dustyfoot and tramped the world over to the court of pye powder and were cuffed by their customers and bit the dust at the foot of the poll when in her deergarth he gave up his goat after the battle of Multaferry. Pharoah with fairy, two lie let them! Yet they wend it back, qual his leif, himmertality, bullseaboob and rivishy divil, light in hand, helm on high, to peekaboo durk the thicket of Slumbwhere, till their hour with their scene be struck for ever and the book of the dates he close, he clasp and she seegn her tour d’adieu, Pervinca calling, Solosear hears (O Sheem! O Shaam!), and gentle Isad, Ysut gay, flispering in the nightleaves’ flattery, dinsiduously, to Finnegan, to sin again and to make grim grandma grunt and grin again, while the first grey streaks steal silvering by for to mock their quarrels in dollymount tumbling.

  They near the base of the chill stair, that large incorporate licensed vintner, such as he is, from formor times, nine hosts in himself, in his hydrocomic establishment, and his ambling limfy peepingpartner, the slave of the ring that worries the hand that sways the lamp that shadows the walk that bends to his bane the busynext man that came on the cop with the Fenian’s bark that pickled his widow that primed the pope that passed it round on the volunteers’ plate till it croppied the ears of Purses Relle that kneed O’Connell up out of his doss that shouldered Burke that butted O’Hara that woke the busker that grattaned his crowd that bucked the jiggers to rhyme the rann that flooded the routes in Eryan’s isle from Malin to Clear and Carnsore Point to Slynagollov and cleaned the pockets and ransomed the ribs of all the listeners, lewd and lay, that bought the ballad that Hosty made.